Thinking of sending Chapter 3 of my audiobook here (for free)

What y'all think?

I'm sending Chapter 1 instead.

If you got the 12 Laws of E-go, check your Gumroad library.

I just added Chapter 3 to it.

Enjoy

Note: This is just some of the content that will be on it.

There will be at least:

-6 new articles per week.
-1 full course per month.
-A space dedicated to questions.
-Occasional live streams (recorded).
-Many bonuses, including free books and free trainings.

I can't hide my excitement, this is gonna be huge, I'll make sure of it.

Today's thread.

https://twitter.com/EgoDriv/status/1537741115025199104

If you got the 21 Days Program, check your Gumroad library.

Added over an hour of audio affirmations. Enjoy.

Do not, under any circumstances speak ill of yourself.

Not even to yourself.

"Oh I'm so stupid"

No you're not, but now that you said it: you're starting to be.

You wouldn't let someone talk shit to you, why would you talk shit about yourself?

Social Skills & Flexibility: Should I be myself or adapt to people?

This is a question I received from some of you.

I find it pretty interesting.

So I'm going to expand on it here because the answer to this question is very nuanced.

You know very well that my opinion on pretty much everything is accept who you are and be yourself.

Except.

and I've tweeted about this recently; self-acceptance is not about accepting yourself and giving up on it.

Part of self-acceptance is accepting your flaws and be willing to work on them.

In order to improve your social skills, you must first improve your self-awareness and be able to properly grasp what you do wrong.

Being socially skilled and blending wherever you go does not go against being yourself.

The more socially skilled you get the more you can impose your presence.

But as you develop and improve your social skills, you might need to go out of your way to better socialize and make a place for yourself in any given social circle.

For example; if you lack a bit of confidence, it would feel awkward to talk loud and monopolize the conversation.

In fact, in many occasions it would be inappropriate.

But for someone who is charismatic and inspiring, they can afford to do such things without coming off as awkward or invasive.

What you need to understand is that social skills is not an exact science.

But the good side of that is that the more skilled you get, the more rules you can break and get away with it.

I hope that answers your question.

Symptoms VS Root cause

This is something a lot of people miss out on.

Problems have causes.
Problems have consequences.

In order to properly solve a problem, you must solve both the symptoms (current issues) and the root cause (previous issues).

This is something you learn in medical school.

Illnesses are treated at two levels, making the pain go away and treating the cause of the pain.

This can be extrapolated to your real life problems.

Treating symptoms will get your a temporary solution, treating the root cause will help you avoid encountering such problems again.

Lets say you suffer from social anxiety.

One way to make the pain go away is by leaving stressful situations or keeping your circle small and trustworthy.

But is it helping on the long run?

Of course not.

You might feel better right then.

But you will feel socially anxious again and again and again.

Issues like social anxiety are results of unresolved trauma.

In short, you should point out the cause and solve it first. This will allow you to better handle the consequences and side effects.

Luckily things like Social anxiety are not as serious or dangerous as a health issue like let's say cancer.

Would a guy with lung cancer get rid of it if they keep smoking while doing chemotherapy?

Again, of course not.

Solve the root cause.
Treat the symptoms.

Don't half-ass problem-solving.

The greater your sensitivity to feel the emotions

The more vulnerable you become

It does not mean you should abandon your emotions

It means you understand and realise the above listed so you do whatever is necessary to prevent manipulation from occurring in the first place.

Social Skills & Flexibility: Let's have some practice today.

As I’ve said before, there are very few social skills frameworks that can be applied everywhere.

One of the core aspects of social skills is that they require flexibility and adaptation.

As in any other human endeavor, balance is of the essence.

Yes, being disagreeable helps you build your confidence and assert yourself.

But it can also harm your interpersonal relationships.

Yes, being too agreeable can harm your self-esteem and impact your social value.

But it can also help you deal with complicated situations.

Another example would be the pace at which you speak; while speaking slow is generally more pleasing to listen to, it can sometimes be a hinderance and negatively impact your eloquence.

I can go on with examples until you get bored of it, but I wont because at this point I suppose you get the idea.

One of the definitions of intelligence is the ability to adapt to situations (if you got the Ego Laws, you probably listen to the audio called the River analogy where I explain the importance of being flexible and adapt to the situations at hand rather than always counting on your knowledge and experience)

My point is there is a need for a process of trial and error for you to acquire the necessary level of experience that will make you more versatile and flexible.

Also, if you’ve been following me for a while, you know that I’m against labeling yourself as an introvert or extrovert and this is one of the reasons behind it.

There is a middle point called being an ambivert.

If you read Carl Jung; you understand that even to him (the man who came up with the introversion/extraversion spectrum), most people are ambiverts with either introvert or extroverted tendencies.

Meaning that versatility is already part of you.

You simply have been nurturing one side over the other.

This takes us to the concept of comfort zone, which is an enemy to the development of your social skills.

If you are to be versatile, adaptable and flexible; you need to develop the habit of experiencing new things and going out of the way you feel comfortable in.

Enough theory, right?

How about some practice?

I have an exercise for you.

Hold a 10 minutes conversation with a stranger.

You don’t know them, you have no idea what interests them and you probably have no idea how to approach them.

Great.

Because this will allow you to put into practice what you already know and adapt it to someone you’re probably never going to see again in your life.

This will build up your confidence once done.

But this will also help you develop your flexibility.

As you talk to them, you will try and adapt what you know to how the conversation is going.

I know most of you won’t do it.

To those who do: This is your competition.

People who are too afraid to talk to someone they don’t know.

Now realize that people don’t bite and you can have a social skills edge if you simply try more often.

Countdown Time!

https://twitter.com/EgoDriv/status/1539181135045042176

Well well well... 80 members left for the giveaway.

Today's thread

https://twitter.com/EgoDriv/status/1539581469915496449