Thread of the day.

https://twitter.com/EgoDriv/status/1537022097788178433

This is one of the rare posts where I talk about myself and my own experiences.

But it's not really about me, it's mainly to make a point.

THE POINT: Social Skills can be learned.

Yes, for some people, it looks like a natural ability. But that's not completely true.

Those that seem socially skilled by default have most likely started learning social skills way before most people.

Not in a traditional learning sense but rather due to the environment they grew up in and the influences they've had in their lives.

I come from a family that is very invested in politics.

As such, most of my close family members apply their social skills for a living.

Which gave me the opportunity, at a very young age, to observe and attend social events.

I would notice charismatic people and try to mimic their behavior when I would go to school.

This was what unconsciously helped me sharpen my social skills very early.

BUT.

Because there is always a but.

There came a point where my social skills got rusty.

As many of you know, I've struggled for a long time with drug addictions.

That made me go into social withdrawals which didn't help in the development of my social skills.

Which made it necessary for me to practice and re-learn everything.

I came to realize that there was more to social skills than just miming how other people behave.

While I initially thought of social skills as a gift, I slowly came to the conclusion that social skills were learned behavior.

Except that there are no specific frameworks that apply to all situations in similar manners.

So I dug deeper and found out the one secret of social skills:

FLEXIBILITY.

I will talk about this in details in the coming days.

Anger issues.

A man's worst enemy.

I know it because I've had to live with it my whole life.

Until I managed to control it and use it to my advantage.

There is a good and a bad side to it.

The trick is to control your anger rather than letting it control you.

Let me explain.

The bad side: You will make rushed decisions and take poor actions that could have negative repercussions on your situation, life and overall mental health.

The good side: You're extremely powerful and hold levels of energy people can't even dream of reaching.

That last point is everything.

Energy.

Because at the end of the day, that's what emotions are.

Now let me tell you how to make your anger work for you.

As I've mentioned in previous posts, the key to emotional control is transmuting the emotional energy into something productive.

Letting your anger or whatever emotion it is help you grow by channeling towards something that improves your life in the long run.

It can be writing, running, boxing etc.. You name it.

Wherever your passion lies, make it a habit of doing exactly that whenever you feel angry.

Not only are you going to calm down, but you will also do that thing better than usual.

Self-therapy.

Today's thread.

https://twitter.com/EgoDriv/status/1537391130169450496

Thinking of sending Chapter 3 of my audiobook here (for free)

What y'all think?

I'm sending Chapter 1 instead.

If you got the 12 Laws of E-go, check your Gumroad library.

I just added Chapter 3 to it.

Enjoy

Note: This is just some of the content that will be on it.

There will be at least:

-6 new articles per week.
-1 full course per month.
-A space dedicated to questions.
-Occasional live streams (recorded).
-Many bonuses, including free books and free trainings.

I can't hide my excitement, this is gonna be huge, I'll make sure of it.

Today's thread.

https://twitter.com/EgoDriv/status/1537741115025199104

If you got the 21 Days Program, check your Gumroad library.

Added over an hour of audio affirmations. Enjoy.

Do not, under any circumstances speak ill of yourself.

Not even to yourself.

"Oh I'm so stupid"

No you're not, but now that you said it: you're starting to be.

You wouldn't let someone talk shit to you, why would you talk shit about yourself?

Social Skills & Flexibility: Should I be myself or adapt to people?

This is a question I received from some of you.

I find it pretty interesting.

So I'm going to expand on it here because the answer to this question is very nuanced.

You know very well that my opinion on pretty much everything is accept who you are and be yourself.

Except.

and I've tweeted about this recently; self-acceptance is not about accepting yourself and giving up on it.

Part of self-acceptance is accepting your flaws and be willing to work on them.

In order to improve your social skills, you must first improve your self-awareness and be able to properly grasp what you do wrong.

Being socially skilled and blending wherever you go does not go against being yourself.

The more socially skilled you get the more you can impose your presence.

But as you develop and improve your social skills, you might need to go out of your way to better socialize and make a place for yourself in any given social circle.

For example; if you lack a bit of confidence, it would feel awkward to talk loud and monopolize the conversation.

In fact, in many occasions it would be inappropriate.

But for someone who is charismatic and inspiring, they can afford to do such things without coming off as awkward or invasive.

What you need to understand is that social skills is not an exact science.

But the good side of that is that the more skilled you get, the more rules you can break and get away with it.

I hope that answers your question.

Symptoms VS Root cause

This is something a lot of people miss out on.

Problems have causes.
Problems have consequences.

In order to properly solve a problem, you must solve both the symptoms (current issues) and the root cause (previous issues).

This is something you learn in medical school.

Illnesses are treated at two levels, making the pain go away and treating the cause of the pain.

This can be extrapolated to your real life problems.

Treating symptoms will get your a temporary solution, treating the root cause will help you avoid encountering such problems again.

Lets say you suffer from social anxiety.

One way to make the pain go away is by leaving stressful situations or keeping your circle small and trustworthy.

But is it helping on the long run?

Of course not.

You might feel better right then.

But you will feel socially anxious again and again and again.

Issues like social anxiety are results of unresolved trauma.

In short, you should point out the cause and solve it first. This will allow you to better handle the consequences and side effects.

Luckily things like Social anxiety are not as serious or dangerous as a health issue like let's say cancer.

Would a guy with lung cancer get rid of it if they keep smoking while doing chemotherapy?

Again, of course not.

Solve the root cause.
Treat the symptoms.

Don't half-ass problem-solving.

The greater your sensitivity to feel the emotions

The more vulnerable you become

It does not mean you should abandon your emotions

It means you understand and realise the above listed so you do whatever is necessary to prevent manipulation from occurring in the first place.