Do not fall for feel-good and motivation porn.
The "self-care" and "manifesting effortlessly" movement is idiotic.
Yes you should prioritize yourself.
Yes you should be hopeful and optimistic.
But don't become a fucking Hippie.
Don't lose your drive, don't lose your rage.
Yin and Yang, don't fuck up the balance.
And most importantly, don't get fooled into thinking you should always seek comfort.
Because that's what those people are implicitly telling you.
The "self-care" and "manifesting effortlessly" movement is idiotic.
Yes you should prioritize yourself.
Yes you should be hopeful and optimistic.
But don't become a fucking Hippie.
Don't lose your drive, don't lose your rage.
Yin and Yang, don't fuck up the balance.
And most importantly, don't get fooled into thinking you should always seek comfort.
Because that's what those people are implicitly telling you.
🔥50❤15
COLD READING 101
Cold reading is the art of grasping the underlying thoughts of someone without them expressing them explicitly.
It consists of a set of techniques that helps read and uncover what someone keeps for themselves.
Disclaimer: This is not some psychic/magician trick that you use to impress people. The techniques described in this thread focus on helping understand people’s motivations and behavior while strengthening interpersonal relationships.
This thread will cover basic techniques of cold reading and a few ways to practice them.
Let’s start.
1- Developing Empathy:
I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: Empathy is a skill not a virtue.
But that’s not out topic today; simply an idea to keep in mind when practicing cold reading.
Do not get your emotions get in the way, you are simply “reading” not “writing” (hopefully you get the image here).
Empathy is the core building block of cold reading.
The ability to understand emotions and grasp how different people express similar emotions is the one skill that allows you to read people’s minds.
The best part: You do this every single day.
Unless you’re mentally and emotionally unstable; you are constantly practicing empathy in your daily life through every single interaction you have.
We all, to different extents, adapt our speech depending on our interlocutor. That is a direct consequence of practicing empathy and situational awareness.
The trick is to consciously do it.
But there is more to it.
Empathy is the core of cold reading because of one very simple reason:
The thoughts of a human being are often driven by emotions.
While they can hide their thoughts, there will always be an expression of the underlying emotion.
That’s what you should spot then put the pieces of your puzzle together to fully understand the thoughts behind.
In order to do that, we’ll use the next two parts.
2- Reading Body Language:
Again, this is not only about isolated micro-expressions.
Body language has a lot more aspects than a rictus or an angry face.
Reading body language is an ability everyone should have.
Remember: everyone talks body language, very few people understand it.
Developing this ability unlocks a new level of communication.
Oftentimes, a level of communication that your interlocutor does not understand.
As such, they will send body language messages that express ideas they might be trying to conceal.
As when someone says that they’re not angry but express negative body language for example.
Read more about Body Language here (book is free).
3- Verbal Communication:
Big fact: People say a lot more than they want.
Another big fact: Many of you are not listening.
Verbal communication is an ocean of information and an endless well of concepts.
But I want you to focus on just two: Tone & Word choice.
For you to properly practice cold reading, you should learn nuances of words and what different tones express as emotions.
With an understanding of voice tones and having a large vocabulary, you can learn to identify the intentions behind what is being said.
For example, using “furious” instead of “angry” shows that the person is insisting on the emotion described. The former being a stronger nuance than the latter, this alone can show you the emotional charge of the speech.
Of course, details can change from one person to another.
But the rules mentioned in this thread are the building blocks of becoming a better people reader.
This is one of the most important social skills you will ever need.
Developing the ability to understand people on a deeper level allows you to tell them what they want to hear so that you can at a later stage influence their behavior (for good or bad; that is up to you and none of my business).
Have a blessed week.
PS: This is the type of articles you can expect on Social Skills University; available on June 30th.
Cold reading is the art of grasping the underlying thoughts of someone without them expressing them explicitly.
It consists of a set of techniques that helps read and uncover what someone keeps for themselves.
Disclaimer: This is not some psychic/magician trick that you use to impress people. The techniques described in this thread focus on helping understand people’s motivations and behavior while strengthening interpersonal relationships.
This thread will cover basic techniques of cold reading and a few ways to practice them.
Let’s start.
1- Developing Empathy:
I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: Empathy is a skill not a virtue.
But that’s not out topic today; simply an idea to keep in mind when practicing cold reading.
Do not get your emotions get in the way, you are simply “reading” not “writing” (hopefully you get the image here).
Empathy is the core building block of cold reading.
The ability to understand emotions and grasp how different people express similar emotions is the one skill that allows you to read people’s minds.
The best part: You do this every single day.
Unless you’re mentally and emotionally unstable; you are constantly practicing empathy in your daily life through every single interaction you have.
We all, to different extents, adapt our speech depending on our interlocutor. That is a direct consequence of practicing empathy and situational awareness.
The trick is to consciously do it.
But there is more to it.
Empathy is the core of cold reading because of one very simple reason:
The thoughts of a human being are often driven by emotions.
While they can hide their thoughts, there will always be an expression of the underlying emotion.
That’s what you should spot then put the pieces of your puzzle together to fully understand the thoughts behind.
In order to do that, we’ll use the next two parts.
2- Reading Body Language:
Again, this is not only about isolated micro-expressions.
Body language has a lot more aspects than a rictus or an angry face.
Reading body language is an ability everyone should have.
Remember: everyone talks body language, very few people understand it.
Developing this ability unlocks a new level of communication.
Oftentimes, a level of communication that your interlocutor does not understand.
As such, they will send body language messages that express ideas they might be trying to conceal.
As when someone says that they’re not angry but express negative body language for example.
Read more about Body Language here (book is free).
3- Verbal Communication:
Big fact: People say a lot more than they want.
Another big fact: Many of you are not listening.
Verbal communication is an ocean of information and an endless well of concepts.
But I want you to focus on just two: Tone & Word choice.
For you to properly practice cold reading, you should learn nuances of words and what different tones express as emotions.
With an understanding of voice tones and having a large vocabulary, you can learn to identify the intentions behind what is being said.
For example, using “furious” instead of “angry” shows that the person is insisting on the emotion described. The former being a stronger nuance than the latter, this alone can show you the emotional charge of the speech.
Of course, details can change from one person to another.
But the rules mentioned in this thread are the building blocks of becoming a better people reader.
This is one of the most important social skills you will ever need.
Developing the ability to understand people on a deeper level allows you to tell them what they want to hear so that you can at a later stage influence their behavior (for good or bad; that is up to you and none of my business).
Have a blessed week.
PS: This is the type of articles you can expect on Social Skills University; available on June 30th.
🔥28❤2👍1
Many people will struggle avoiding awkward silences or simply having meaningful and interesting conversations.
The problem in conversational skills is that there is a fine line between an interesting conversation and crossing your interlocutors boundaries. That’s for those who are courageous enough to speak up.
Others will face a different type of problem where they feel like their interlocutor is being invasive.
The trick I want to talk to you about today solves both issues.
This is a 3 step system that you can use over and over during the SAME conversation without it getting neither boring nor too invasive.
It goes like this.
1- Pick up a clue:
People talk.
They talk a lot.
But are you listening to everything?
Yes? You shouldn’t.
No? You should.
I know this might be confusing but let me explain.
You don’t have to listening to everything.
In fact, there are keywords you should focus on in order to filtrate the noise and useless information while still managing to stay involved in the conversation.
Keywords like “I like” “I love” “I was” or “I am”.
You get the idea.
You need to pay attention to when people give you more information about themselves, this is your ticket to controlling the conversation.
2- Ask!
Once you get your clue and topic, it’s time to ask an open-ended question.
Now that you’ve spotted a topic that interests them, you have to let them tell you more.
Now there are two potential scenarios:
1- You have no clue wtf they’re talking about
2- You have know what they’re talking about
This determines whether you will start the process again or not.
Let me explain.
3- Your turn to talk:
Let’s dig into each of the before-mentioned scenarios.
A- You’re clueless:
If that is the case, don’t dive right into the topic like an idiot.
Ask more.
In this scenario, you have to restart looking for cues to find a topic to which both of you converge and are knowledgeable; which makes the conversation more interesting and also brings you more opportunity to speak and exchange.
The good thing is, this can allow you to make your interlocutor talk more (it doesn’t mean you have to actively listen, you can give the illusion that you’re doing so; a topic for another post)
Even if you never reach a common topic (assuming you and your interlocutor are way too different) this allows you to drag the conversation longer and make your interlocutor talk more so you don’t have to.
Remember, people love to seem knowledgeable.
They will not miss an opportunity to “teach” something or simply talk about something they value.
B- You have a certain level of knowledge about the topic:
Your goal is almost attained.
At this stage, what you should be looking for is the limits of knowledge of your interlocutor about the topic you guys are discussing.
Once that is done; it is your opportunity to teach them something new; they’ll love you for it (as long as they do show signs of interest; which you can recognize through their body language.)
The goal and process of this technique is to drag the conversation longer without being intrusive.
It allows you to put in practice all aspects of a conversation:
1- Listening
2- Asking
3- Adding Value
You can never go wrong with this.
Bonus tip: Smile. I don’t need to explain this. Wait maybe I do.
Don’t smile all along long like a fanboy idiot.
Smile when they’re explaining something; show that you understand and appreciate their explanation.
This will bring you closer to your interlocutor and create feelings of intimacy.
The problem in conversational skills is that there is a fine line between an interesting conversation and crossing your interlocutors boundaries. That’s for those who are courageous enough to speak up.
Others will face a different type of problem where they feel like their interlocutor is being invasive.
The trick I want to talk to you about today solves both issues.
This is a 3 step system that you can use over and over during the SAME conversation without it getting neither boring nor too invasive.
It goes like this.
1- Pick up a clue:
People talk.
They talk a lot.
But are you listening to everything?
Yes? You shouldn’t.
No? You should.
I know this might be confusing but let me explain.
You don’t have to listening to everything.
In fact, there are keywords you should focus on in order to filtrate the noise and useless information while still managing to stay involved in the conversation.
Keywords like “I like” “I love” “I was” or “I am”.
You get the idea.
You need to pay attention to when people give you more information about themselves, this is your ticket to controlling the conversation.
2- Ask!
Once you get your clue and topic, it’s time to ask an open-ended question.
Now that you’ve spotted a topic that interests them, you have to let them tell you more.
Now there are two potential scenarios:
1- You have no clue wtf they’re talking about
2- You have know what they’re talking about
This determines whether you will start the process again or not.
Let me explain.
3- Your turn to talk:
Let’s dig into each of the before-mentioned scenarios.
A- You’re clueless:
If that is the case, don’t dive right into the topic like an idiot.
Ask more.
In this scenario, you have to restart looking for cues to find a topic to which both of you converge and are knowledgeable; which makes the conversation more interesting and also brings you more opportunity to speak and exchange.
The good thing is, this can allow you to make your interlocutor talk more (it doesn’t mean you have to actively listen, you can give the illusion that you’re doing so; a topic for another post)
Even if you never reach a common topic (assuming you and your interlocutor are way too different) this allows you to drag the conversation longer and make your interlocutor talk more so you don’t have to.
Remember, people love to seem knowledgeable.
They will not miss an opportunity to “teach” something or simply talk about something they value.
B- You have a certain level of knowledge about the topic:
Your goal is almost attained.
At this stage, what you should be looking for is the limits of knowledge of your interlocutor about the topic you guys are discussing.
Once that is done; it is your opportunity to teach them something new; they’ll love you for it (as long as they do show signs of interest; which you can recognize through their body language.)
The goal and process of this technique is to drag the conversation longer without being intrusive.
It allows you to put in practice all aspects of a conversation:
1- Listening
2- Asking
3- Adding Value
You can never go wrong with this.
Bonus tip: Smile. I don’t need to explain this. Wait maybe I do.
Don’t smile all along long like a fanboy idiot.
Smile when they’re explaining something; show that you understand and appreciate their explanation.
This will bring you closer to your interlocutor and create feelings of intimacy.
❤23🔥9
This is one of the rare posts where I talk about myself and my own experiences.
But it's not really about me, it's mainly to make a point.
THE POINT: Social Skills can be learned.
Yes, for some people, it looks like a natural ability. But that's not completely true.
Those that seem socially skilled by default have most likely started learning social skills way before most people.
Not in a traditional learning sense but rather due to the environment they grew up in and the influences they've had in their lives.
I come from a family that is very invested in politics.
As such, most of my close family members apply their social skills for a living.
Which gave me the opportunity, at a very young age, to observe and attend social events.
I would notice charismatic people and try to mimic their behavior when I would go to school.
This was what unconsciously helped me sharpen my social skills very early.
BUT.
Because there is always a but.
There came a point where my social skills got rusty.
As many of you know, I've struggled for a long time with drug addictions.
That made me go into social withdrawals which didn't help in the development of my social skills.
Which made it necessary for me to practice and re-learn everything.
I came to realize that there was more to social skills than just miming how other people behave.
While I initially thought of social skills as a gift, I slowly came to the conclusion that social skills were learned behavior.
Except that there are no specific frameworks that apply to all situations in similar manners.
So I dug deeper and found out the one secret of social skills:
FLEXIBILITY.
I will talk about this in details in the coming days.
But it's not really about me, it's mainly to make a point.
THE POINT: Social Skills can be learned.
Yes, for some people, it looks like a natural ability. But that's not completely true.
Those that seem socially skilled by default have most likely started learning social skills way before most people.
Not in a traditional learning sense but rather due to the environment they grew up in and the influences they've had in their lives.
I come from a family that is very invested in politics.
As such, most of my close family members apply their social skills for a living.
Which gave me the opportunity, at a very young age, to observe and attend social events.
I would notice charismatic people and try to mimic their behavior when I would go to school.
This was what unconsciously helped me sharpen my social skills very early.
BUT.
Because there is always a but.
There came a point where my social skills got rusty.
As many of you know, I've struggled for a long time with drug addictions.
That made me go into social withdrawals which didn't help in the development of my social skills.
Which made it necessary for me to practice and re-learn everything.
I came to realize that there was more to social skills than just miming how other people behave.
While I initially thought of social skills as a gift, I slowly came to the conclusion that social skills were learned behavior.
Except that there are no specific frameworks that apply to all situations in similar manners.
So I dug deeper and found out the one secret of social skills:
FLEXIBILITY.
I will talk about this in details in the coming days.
🔥21❤12
Anger issues.
A man's worst enemy.
I know it because I've had to live with it my whole life.
Until I managed to control it and use it to my advantage.
There is a good and a bad side to it.
The trick is to control your anger rather than letting it control you.
Let me explain.
The bad side: You will make rushed decisions and take poor actions that could have negative repercussions on your situation, life and overall mental health.
The good side: You're extremely powerful and hold levels of energy people can't even dream of reaching.
That last point is everything.
Energy.
Because at the end of the day, that's what emotions are.
Now let me tell you how to make your anger work for you.
As I've mentioned in previous posts, the key to emotional control is transmuting the emotional energy into something productive.
Letting your anger or whatever emotion it is help you grow by channeling towards something that improves your life in the long run.
It can be writing, running, boxing etc.. You name it.
Wherever your passion lies, make it a habit of doing exactly that whenever you feel angry.
Not only are you going to calm down, but you will also do that thing better than usual.
Self-therapy.
A man's worst enemy.
I know it because I've had to live with it my whole life.
Until I managed to control it and use it to my advantage.
There is a good and a bad side to it.
The trick is to control your anger rather than letting it control you.
Let me explain.
The bad side: You will make rushed decisions and take poor actions that could have negative repercussions on your situation, life and overall mental health.
The good side: You're extremely powerful and hold levels of energy people can't even dream of reaching.
That last point is everything.
Energy.
Because at the end of the day, that's what emotions are.
Now let me tell you how to make your anger work for you.
As I've mentioned in previous posts, the key to emotional control is transmuting the emotional energy into something productive.
Letting your anger or whatever emotion it is help you grow by channeling towards something that improves your life in the long run.
It can be writing, running, boxing etc.. You name it.
Wherever your passion lies, make it a habit of doing exactly that whenever you feel angry.
Not only are you going to calm down, but you will also do that thing better than usual.
Self-therapy.
❤17🔥11
How did you find this channel?
I'm very curious about this.
I'm very curious about this.
Anonymous Poll
24%
Recommended on another channel
8%
Been here since it launched
12%
Joined through Instagram
56%
Joined through Twitter
❤4
Thinking of sending Chapter 3 of my audiobook here (for free)
What y'all think?
What y'all think?
🔥23
Audio
I'm sending Chapter 1 instead.
If you got the 12 Laws of E-go, check your Gumroad library.
I just added Chapter 3 to it.
Enjoy
If you got the 12 Laws of E-go, check your Gumroad library.
I just added Chapter 3 to it.
Enjoy
🔥20❤5
Basedonia™ - By E-go
Photo
Note: This is just some of the content that will be on it.
There will be at least:
-6 new articles per week.
-1 full course per month.
-A space dedicated to questions.
-Occasional live streams (recorded).
-Many bonuses, including free books and free trainings.
I can't hide my excitement, this is gonna be huge, I'll make sure of it.
There will be at least:
-6 new articles per week.
-1 full course per month.
-A space dedicated to questions.
-Occasional live streams (recorded).
-Many bonuses, including free books and free trainings.
I can't hide my excitement, this is gonna be huge, I'll make sure of it.
🔥26
If you got the 21 Days Program, check your Gumroad library.
Added over an hour of audio affirmations. Enjoy.
Added over an hour of audio affirmations. Enjoy.
🔥7
Do not, under any circumstances speak ill of yourself.
Not even to yourself.
"Oh I'm so stupid"
No you're not, but now that you said it: you're starting to be.
You wouldn't let someone talk shit to you, why would you talk shit about yourself?
Not even to yourself.
"Oh I'm so stupid"
No you're not, but now that you said it: you're starting to be.
You wouldn't let someone talk shit to you, why would you talk shit about yourself?
❤37🔥14