Walk out of your shiny bubble and experience life.

If it frustrates you, good.

You have the fuel inside you that will help you work hard to improve things.

Do not accept what you don't like in your life.

Living large is a choice, having high standards is a choice, not settling for bare minimum is a choice.

So choose wisely.

You stop growing when you start believing that this is all you got.

Powerful Quote:

"The more you sweat in peace, the less you bleed in war."

How to humiliate someone who is trying to humiliate you

Following up on yesterday’s thread where I showed how to get over such things happening to you. I am now going to explain how to avoid letting them happening to you.

For that, you need to understand that humiliation is about how the situation is perceived by the audience but how you see it yourself.

An important thing to remember is that there is a fine line between humiliation and confrontation. The line being that humiliation is nothing but a lost confrontation.

In this thread, I will show you how to respond to someone trying to publicly humiliate you and win that confrontation.

1- Humiliation attempts are about showing off:

If you are to respond to humiliation attempts, you need to accept the fact that you will be starting on the losing side.

But that’s not all bad. I will explain later.

What is important to grasp here is that the person attacking you is not just trying to do you harm.

They are trying to harm your image and reputation

As such, what interests them the most is how the people watching the scene react to it and aspire to make them side with them.

This is their weak point.

In a way they are seeking external approval. This is your leverage.

2- Do not get impulsive:

Let them talk while understand their motivation, figure out why they chose to publicly humiliate you.

If you can understand their motives, you can expose them,

This is why it’s important to let them talk so that they can dig their own grave.

Now, the next step is to destroy their public image by showing their bad faith and poor intentions.

3- Ask them to talk in private:

Do so in a way that you interrupt what they say.

Turn around and cut the conversation short.

What this will do is that they will refuse.

Which is exactly what you want.

Once they refuse turn again and face them.

It’s time to speak up.

4- Strategic Victimization:

So far, you have only been listening and asking for a private conversation.

As such, you are painted as someone who is yet to defend their point.

On the other hand, they are perceived as someone who’s angry and been relentlessly seeking confrontation.

You already messed with their plan.

They’ve already started to seem evil, which makes the validation they’re seeking gradually slip away from them.

Remember when I told you to figure out their motives?

It’s time to expose them and put the spotlight on them.

This is the exact opposite of what they want.

Explain their poor intentions and that they’re motive are to harm your reputation; do so while exchanging eye contact with the audience more than you exchange eye contact with the person provoking you.

What you will be doing is involving the audience and making them side with you.

There are two possible reactions that can come after this:

- They will want to take the conversation privately, and you will refuse.
- They will get angry and you will laugh.

In the first case: everything is done and finished.

You have successfully defused their attempts, they no longer wish to publicly humiliate you.

Your refusal on the other hand will show that you are in control of the interaction and that they missed the chance to set things straight with you.

It’s time to leave the situation and not say anything more.

Ideally, never talk to that person again.

In the second case, the battles keeps going for a bit longer.

The fact that you laugh to their face will make them angrier; they might lose control and start elevating their voice.

Again, they will be digging their own grave.

Your reaction should remain the same.

Stay calm, keep a smile on your face and only answer to say that their reaction is blown out of proportion.

You will only open your mouth to say that what they’re doing is ridiculous.

Try as much as possible not to engage in the core topic.

Only expose their bad behavior.

Remember, they’re seeking validation from the audience.

Your sole goal is to turn the audience against them.

They will lose their shit.

Once you make sure that nobody’s on their side.

You are done. Leave.

Again, cut out such people from your life.

Do not let them close to you.

If you have no choice (lets say this is a colleague, employer or neighbor) and you will eventually need to see them every day, then your best option is to become a burden in their life.

They should feel uncomfortable whenever you set foot in the same room as them.

That will naturally be done by keeping good relationship with the people who witnessed the scene.

They, on the other hand, will feel ashamed and will most likely apologize to those people in order to protect their own reputation.

It’s also important that you do not bring this topic with anyone.

What you should do afterwards is show detachment towards the situation.

After all, you won. Why talk about it again.

Congratulations.

You have now successfully humiliated and destroyed the reputation of someone who was trying to do exactly that to you.

less than 24 hours to go for social skills playbook. been waiting for it since it was announced.!!!!!!!

100 Reacts on this post and I release Social Skills Playbook today.

Here is the Introduction.

I'm releasing it anyway.

The Playbook is at the end of this thread.

https://twitter.com/EgoDriv/status/1534851458914459651

Those too lazy to read:

socialskillsuniversity.online

Download the book from here.

Don't forget to leave a 5 star rating ❤️

I got the book and half way through it man I can't believe why would someone give all this for free! You really have to be man with big Heart thanks a lot man ! 😍😘

THE 4 STAGES OF MANIPULATION

You will never get manipulated by someone you don’t like.

This is a very important aspect of manipulation because in order to manipulate anyone, a manipulator has to build rapport and trust with them.

I’m now going to explain the 4 stage process of manipulation.

Part 1: The 4 Stages of Manipulation

In this part, I will explain the exact process used to manipulate anyone; this process is applicable to any situations except family. You will understand why.

1- Targeting:

A manipulator needs to spot his victim.

They know very well that they cannot manipulate everyone in the same manner, for that they will target someone vulnerable or someone whose insecurities are apparent to the manipulator.

2- Building Trust:

One thing about manipulators is that they are ALWAYS extremely friendly and caring at the start of the relationship.

You have probably noticed this before.

But the reason behind is that they try to gain esteem in your mind and make a place for themselves in your universe.

For those reasons, they will be hard to spot at such stages.

Their social skills and ability to tell people what they want to hear allows them to easily build trust and make their target let their guard down.

This stage can take days, weeks, months or even years.

But they will not move to the next step until they make sure that they earned your trust.

3- Honeymoon:

Once trust is established, the manipulator will try to create an emotional bond with their target.

Now that they are trusted, they will be overly affectionate.

The goal of this is to further cement the trust they earned and get their target to become emotionally attached to them.

By using techniques like love-bombing or flattery, the manipulator will attempt to get closer and closer, until….

Until they make sure that they are an important part of their target’s life.

They have now acquired emotional leverage over their target.

4- The Wrongdoings:

At this stage, the manipulator knows their targets psyche in and out.

They’ve gotten so close to them that they know exactly what triggers to pull in order to make their target do what they want.

The relationship now goes from honeymoon to nightmare.

They reveal their true nature and leverage all the vulnerabilities of their target to serve their own interests.

This is when the real manipulation happens.

I will explain how to cancel this process in today's thread.

PS: If you're still wondering why this doesn't apply to family, it's because the first two stages cannot exist in a familial context. This applies to new people you meet, not people you've known forever.

Happiness 101.

Align your thoughts, actions and words.

Control your thoughts.
Careful what you say.
Follow-up with tangible action.

Most mental blockages and Overthinking come when those 3 are not aligned.

You think something.
You say another.
You do a third thing.

Listen, it's easier said than done.

But you are in control of ONE thing and that is yourself.

If you can't control that, then what can you even control?

Grand Rising Basedonia.

A nuanced piece from a friend of mine.

Not everyone will understand, but to those who do: enjoy the read.

https://vanyakairos.substack.com/p/against-the-counter-culture-desire?s=r

You are responsible for all the shit people give you.

It is your responsibility to make sure everyone treats you well.

If they don't, show them the door.

You don't want anyone in your life who is always pulling you down.

The only criticism which is right for you is the one which comes with a constructive review in the end.

One from a friend, a loved one or your family.

Do not fall for feel-good and motivation porn.

The "self-care" and "manifesting effortlessly" movement is idiotic.

Yes you should prioritize yourself.

Yes you should be hopeful and optimistic.

But don't become a fucking Hippie.

Don't lose your drive, don't lose your rage.

Yin and Yang, don't fuck up the balance.

And most importantly, don't get fooled into thinking you should always seek comfort.

Because that's what those people are implicitly telling you.

Reminder.

COLD READING 101

Cold reading is the art of grasping the underlying thoughts of someone without them expressing them explicitly.

It consists of a set of techniques that helps read and uncover what someone keeps for themselves.

Disclaimer: This is not some psychic/magician trick that you use to impress people. The techniques described in this thread focus on helping understand people’s motivations and behavior while strengthening interpersonal relationships.

This thread will cover basic techniques of cold reading and a few ways to practice them.

Let’s start.

1- Developing Empathy:

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: Empathy is a skill not a virtue.

But that’s not out topic today; simply an idea to keep in mind when practicing cold reading.

Do not get your emotions get in the way, you are simply “reading” not “writing” (hopefully you get the image here).

Empathy is the core building block of cold reading.

The ability to understand emotions and grasp how different people express similar emotions is the one skill that allows you to read people’s minds.

The best part: You do this every single day.

Unless you’re mentally and emotionally unstable; you are constantly practicing empathy in your daily life through every single interaction you have.

We all, to different extents, adapt our speech depending on our interlocutor. That is a direct consequence of practicing empathy and situational awareness.

The trick is to consciously do it.

But there is more to it.

Empathy is the core of cold reading because of one very simple reason:

The thoughts of a human being are often driven by emotions.

While they can hide their thoughts, there will always be an expression of the underlying emotion.

That’s what you should spot then put the pieces of your puzzle together to fully understand the thoughts behind.

In order to do that, we’ll use the next two parts.

2- Reading Body Language:

Again, this is not only about isolated micro-expressions.

Body language has a lot more aspects than a rictus or an angry face.

Reading body language is an ability everyone should have.

Remember: everyone talks body language, very few people understand it.

Developing this ability unlocks a new level of communication.

Oftentimes, a level of communication that your interlocutor does not understand.

As such, they will send body language messages that express ideas they might be trying to conceal.

As when someone says that they’re not angry but express negative body language for example.

Read more about Body Language here (book is free).

3- Verbal Communication:

Big fact: People say a lot more than they want.

Another big fact: Many of you are not listening.

Verbal communication is an ocean of information and an endless well of concepts.

But I want you to focus on just two: Tone & Word choice.

For you to properly practice cold reading, you should learn nuances of words and what different tones express as emotions.

With an understanding of voice tones and having a large vocabulary, you can learn to identify the intentions behind what is being said.

For example, using “furious” instead of “angry” shows that the person is insisting on the emotion described. The former being a stronger nuance than the latter, this alone can show you the emotional charge of the speech.

Of course, details can change from one person to another.

But the rules mentioned in this thread are the building blocks of becoming a better people reader.

This is one of the most important social skills you will ever need.

Developing the ability to understand people on a deeper level allows you to tell them what they want to hear so that you can at a later stage influence their behavior (for good or bad; that is up to you and none of my business).

Have a blessed week.

PS: This is the type of articles you can expect on Social Skills University; available on June 30th.