Basedonia™ - By E-go
To do so, you only need to practice mirror gazing, then at the end close your eyes and project yourself into the setting of your desired outcome. This makes it a lot easier to picture yourself as you will be mixing all three exercises mentioned (mirror gazing;…
There is still a last part coming.
🔥15
Forwarded from Atlas' Majliss (۞ Atlas ۞)
Social fluency is learned.
If you’ve ever met a salesperson who you know was just killing it commission-wise, you’ll probably know
the feeling I refer to below.
They’ve got a certain smoothness about them that puts people at ease, and it feels like they can charm
their way into anyone’s good graces in record time.
This is some next level charisma and social fluency, because even though you’re aware they’re a
salesperson and have a singular goal in mind, they don’t appear like they’re selling anything at all… until
you return home with a shopping bag full of Gorilla Glue.
They just seem to have that it factor that draws people to them and allows them to adapt to any kind of
conversation signal from others.
Above all else, all of their behaviors and habits seem to flow so naturally …
Stop right there.
Yes, it’s amazingly tempting to believe that such people are just born with the gift of gab, and that you can
never attain those heights for yourself.
This is remarkably and completely wrong, and as I’ll discuss later, an all-too-common excuse we tell
ourselves. If you were to interview any of the people that you would label as possessing social fluency,
I’m positive that they would all tell you that it’s something they’ve worked on consciously.
Maybe it’s always been a strength of theirs, but that doesn’t mean that salesman just woke up with the
ability to sell ice to an eskimo.
There’s a reason that the salesman probably wasn’t young and green – more experience and practice, and practice makes perfect.
This is wonderful news for you because this is the exact reason you bought this book… in the hopes that
such skills were learnable, right?
To gain actionable items and steps to improve your social fluency?
Good, because social success is learned behavior.
If you’ve ever met a salesperson who you know was just killing it commission-wise, you’ll probably know
the feeling I refer to below.
They’ve got a certain smoothness about them that puts people at ease, and it feels like they can charm
their way into anyone’s good graces in record time.
This is some next level charisma and social fluency, because even though you’re aware they’re a
salesperson and have a singular goal in mind, they don’t appear like they’re selling anything at all… until
you return home with a shopping bag full of Gorilla Glue.
They just seem to have that it factor that draws people to them and allows them to adapt to any kind of
conversation signal from others.
Above all else, all of their behaviors and habits seem to flow so naturally …
Stop right there.
Yes, it’s amazingly tempting to believe that such people are just born with the gift of gab, and that you can
never attain those heights for yourself.
This is remarkably and completely wrong, and as I’ll discuss later, an all-too-common excuse we tell
ourselves. If you were to interview any of the people that you would label as possessing social fluency,
I’m positive that they would all tell you that it’s something they’ve worked on consciously.
Maybe it’s always been a strength of theirs, but that doesn’t mean that salesman just woke up with the
ability to sell ice to an eskimo.
There’s a reason that the salesman probably wasn’t young and green – more experience and practice, and practice makes perfect.
This is wonderful news for you because this is the exact reason you bought this book… in the hopes that
such skills were learnable, right?
To gain actionable items and steps to improve your social fluency?
Good, because social success is learned behavior.
❤26
Forwarded from Masculine Tribe (The Masculine Sage)
I am not your competition.
Nobody is.
Everyone else is too busy fighting their wars.
Everyone has their problems to solve.
You only have one competition that is yourself.
If you can continuously outgrow yourself.
You stay on the right path forever.
A man's aim is always to get better, it is not a choice.
It is forced on you, you don't have many options.
Either you grind hard and evolve into a better you continuously or you lose.
Focus on yourself.
Everyone and everything else is less important.
Nobody is.
Everyone else is too busy fighting their wars.
Everyone has their problems to solve.
You only have one competition that is yourself.
If you can continuously outgrow yourself.
You stay on the right path forever.
A man's aim is always to get better, it is not a choice.
It is forced on you, you don't have many options.
Either you grind hard and evolve into a better you continuously or you lose.
Focus on yourself.
Everyone and everything else is less important.
❤27🔥10
Forwarded from Disclose.tv
NEW - BioNTech says in its annual report to the US Securities and Exchange Commission that the efficacy of its current mRNA Corona vaccine may not be sufficient for permanent regulatory approval.
https://investors.biontech.de/node/11931/html#ic5e06a05a31d4c4491031d3208cef8c2_2806
@disclosetv
https://investors.biontech.de/node/11931/html#ic5e06a05a31d4c4491031d3208cef8c2_2806
@disclosetv
❤2
Reposting: Manipulation through the body language
One important skill to master is triggering thoughts and emotions in your interlocutor without saying a word.
In this post, I will be breaking down a few tricks to make people crave your approval through body language.
Alternating disinterest and intense interest through eye contact:
A misconception people have is that when someone avoids eye contact, they're being weak and stressed.
That is completely false when taken out of context.
Body language is analyzed through a mix of signs not by drawing conclusions from one movement.
Fortunately, people don't draw conclusions as fast as we think. Their emotional side is the first one to react to body language.
Alternating intense eye contact with absence of it usually makes your interlocutor crave the moments of intensity.
One thing that always works is looking down to people feet then progressively going up until reaching their eyes and maintaining and intense eye contact (when THEY are doing the talk and you're simply listening)
Those paradoxical signals send your interlocutor mixed signals that trigger mixed emotions.
Starting with a seemingly negative and disinterested sign and ending up with intense and signaling interest creates a confusion thanks to which the only thing they will want is to maintain eye contact and try to avoid you looking elsewhere again.
By doing so, you position yourself in a position of power in which être contact with you becomes something they crave and don't want to lose.
Message here is:
Dont take my interest for granted.
Leaning back with open arms and open legs:
The fact of leaning back signals a lack of interest while having your arms and legs open signals openness to discussion.
Again, the mixed signals here will make your interlocutor come to you simply because you're hard to reach.
It also signals comfort and a lack of vulnerability which translates in high confidence.
This will also defuse their attempts to lure you or get the better of you.
Doing this will automatically force them to lean in and cross their arms to signal that they're inoffensive.
Turn your back and do something else while still maintaining the conversation:
While some will tell you that this signals a lack of respect and might trigger negative feelings, the fact that you will be answering them while being away from the conversation space will tune down the feelings of disrespect and install a feeling of not being enough in your interlocutor.
Subconsciously, they will try to get you back (physically) into the conversation or completely shut up to let you speak.
It signals, just like the above points, that they're not entitled to your attention which will make them fight harder for it.
Now why do these things?
The answer is quite simple.
By confusing the person in front you take a position of dominance
Not only that, but it also confuses the thoughts of the person in front and can sometimes lead them to saying more than what they're supposed to say.
Sending mixed signals forces your interlocutor to let their guard down and makes them more vulnerable.
PS: This is "how to apply it", I explain more in details how to spot manipulation through body language on MWS 2.0
One important skill to master is triggering thoughts and emotions in your interlocutor without saying a word.
In this post, I will be breaking down a few tricks to make people crave your approval through body language.
Alternating disinterest and intense interest through eye contact:
A misconception people have is that when someone avoids eye contact, they're being weak and stressed.
That is completely false when taken out of context.
Body language is analyzed through a mix of signs not by drawing conclusions from one movement.
Fortunately, people don't draw conclusions as fast as we think. Their emotional side is the first one to react to body language.
Alternating intense eye contact with absence of it usually makes your interlocutor crave the moments of intensity.
One thing that always works is looking down to people feet then progressively going up until reaching their eyes and maintaining and intense eye contact (when THEY are doing the talk and you're simply listening)
Those paradoxical signals send your interlocutor mixed signals that trigger mixed emotions.
Starting with a seemingly negative and disinterested sign and ending up with intense and signaling interest creates a confusion thanks to which the only thing they will want is to maintain eye contact and try to avoid you looking elsewhere again.
By doing so, you position yourself in a position of power in which être contact with you becomes something they crave and don't want to lose.
Message here is:
Dont take my interest for granted.
Leaning back with open arms and open legs:
The fact of leaning back signals a lack of interest while having your arms and legs open signals openness to discussion.
Again, the mixed signals here will make your interlocutor come to you simply because you're hard to reach.
It also signals comfort and a lack of vulnerability which translates in high confidence.
This will also defuse their attempts to lure you or get the better of you.
Doing this will automatically force them to lean in and cross their arms to signal that they're inoffensive.
Turn your back and do something else while still maintaining the conversation:
While some will tell you that this signals a lack of respect and might trigger negative feelings, the fact that you will be answering them while being away from the conversation space will tune down the feelings of disrespect and install a feeling of not being enough in your interlocutor.
Subconsciously, they will try to get you back (physically) into the conversation or completely shut up to let you speak.
It signals, just like the above points, that they're not entitled to your attention which will make them fight harder for it.
Now why do these things?
The answer is quite simple.
By confusing the person in front you take a position of dominance
Not only that, but it also confuses the thoughts of the person in front and can sometimes lead them to saying more than what they're supposed to say.
Sending mixed signals forces your interlocutor to let their guard down and makes them more vulnerable.
PS: This is "how to apply it", I explain more in details how to spot manipulation through body language on MWS 2.0
🔥15
Program Yourself Through Body Language
What if you could manipulate yourself?
Wouldn’t it be interesting to be able to induce emotions to yourself?
What if you could fool your own subconscious?
Because it’s possible.
Using basic body language, you can influence your own mood and feelings.
If you’ve heard of power posing you realize the power of body language to influence your overall self-esteem.
Such things can be applied to other emotions.
You can calm yourself through sitting in comfortable situations instead of letting your muscles get tense.
You can trigger your own grit by holding your fist tight.
I guess you see where I am going with this.
The trick is to learn your own body language reactions to positive emotions and then use those same reactions to regulate your mood when you’re in an undesired emotional state.
It can go as far as forcing yourself to smile when you feel low.
Use a mirror if possible.
Visualize yourself in a better mood.
When I say I don’t believe in treating depression with medication, it’s because I know very well that each one of us holds the power to be whatever they want to be.
Use these simple trick to reprogram yourself.
It’s those seemingly small actions that define how you feel.
Leverage them to your advantage.
What if you could manipulate yourself?
Wouldn’t it be interesting to be able to induce emotions to yourself?
What if you could fool your own subconscious?
Because it’s possible.
Using basic body language, you can influence your own mood and feelings.
If you’ve heard of power posing you realize the power of body language to influence your overall self-esteem.
Such things can be applied to other emotions.
You can calm yourself through sitting in comfortable situations instead of letting your muscles get tense.
You can trigger your own grit by holding your fist tight.
I guess you see where I am going with this.
The trick is to learn your own body language reactions to positive emotions and then use those same reactions to regulate your mood when you’re in an undesired emotional state.
It can go as far as forcing yourself to smile when you feel low.
Use a mirror if possible.
Visualize yourself in a better mood.
When I say I don’t believe in treating depression with medication, it’s because I know very well that each one of us holds the power to be whatever they want to be.
Use these simple trick to reprogram yourself.
It’s those seemingly small actions that define how you feel.
Leverage them to your advantage.
❤22🔥7
How to notice when someone is trying to dominate you (Non-verbal signs of dominance)
Before getting into verbal confrontation, people will try to judge the extent to which they can poke you.
Using a few (often subconscious) non-verbal moves, they will test your limits and evaluate your resistance.
Being able to recognize and cut them short will save you a lot.
A too firm of a handshake:
The first tell you can use is how the person greets you and others.
Someone who's trying to take a dominating position will give a lot of importance to the first physical contact aka the handshake.
The handshake sets the tone for how the rest will go.
There is a difference between a firm handshake that indicates a strong character and one that is testing your limit.
For the latter will more often than not be firmer and coupled with a tiny movement that will aim to shake your whole arm instead of your hand
Someone shaking your hand too firmly and with insistence (both on eye contact and the handshake) is probably trying to tell you that they're not your equal.
Others will do the opposite (next part) but the main goal will remain the same:
Destabilize you.
The absence of greeting:
This is what was meant by the opposite of a firm handshake.
Others will give you the cold treatment and not even say hello (or do it very coldly) in order to signal that they don't value your presence.
Tip: Do the same. They'll hate it.
Putting their arm on your shoulder/neck
This should be a rule for you:
No one should touch feel free to touch you.
By putting their arm on you they take a naturally dominant position.
Remove their arm BUT don't step back.
Stay in your position and do not even explain.
By doing so, you signal to them that you see clear in what they're trying to do and that it is not working.
Providing justification makes them win this little confrontation.
Don't explain, just remove their hand and stay where you are.
They'll understand that you wont back off.
Learn to spot these tells and cut them short before the person gets too confident and comfortable with you.
If you are able to notice and react to those, you can be 90% sure that the person will not try to test you any further.
Cut it short before it grows out of control.
Before getting into verbal confrontation, people will try to judge the extent to which they can poke you.
Using a few (often subconscious) non-verbal moves, they will test your limits and evaluate your resistance.
Being able to recognize and cut them short will save you a lot.
A too firm of a handshake:
The first tell you can use is how the person greets you and others.
Someone who's trying to take a dominating position will give a lot of importance to the first physical contact aka the handshake.
The handshake sets the tone for how the rest will go.
There is a difference between a firm handshake that indicates a strong character and one that is testing your limit.
For the latter will more often than not be firmer and coupled with a tiny movement that will aim to shake your whole arm instead of your hand
Someone shaking your hand too firmly and with insistence (both on eye contact and the handshake) is probably trying to tell you that they're not your equal.
Others will do the opposite (next part) but the main goal will remain the same:
Destabilize you.
The absence of greeting:
This is what was meant by the opposite of a firm handshake.
Others will give you the cold treatment and not even say hello (or do it very coldly) in order to signal that they don't value your presence.
Tip: Do the same. They'll hate it.
Putting their arm on your shoulder/neck
This should be a rule for you:
No one should touch feel free to touch you.
By putting their arm on you they take a naturally dominant position.
Remove their arm BUT don't step back.
Stay in your position and do not even explain.
By doing so, you signal to them that you see clear in what they're trying to do and that it is not working.
Providing justification makes them win this little confrontation.
Don't explain, just remove their hand and stay where you are.
They'll understand that you wont back off.
Learn to spot these tells and cut them short before the person gets too confident and comfortable with you.
If you are able to notice and react to those, you can be 90% sure that the person will not try to test you any further.
Cut it short before it grows out of control.
❤30🔥20
Building your self-esteem is one thing.
Doing what's right to maintain it is another.
But what's more important is what NOT to do to take care of your self-image and self-respect.
It's more about avoiding the wrong things than it is about doing things right.
Here are a few things to keep in mind:
Don't get caught up in regret or guilt when you recall past events or situations.
If you learned your lesson, then look back with pride.
"I made a mistake, I know better now."
Don't try to change yourself without being yourself.
It may result in losing your personality.
Build upon who you are.
Achieve your own visions and avoid simply reproducing what you see.
Analyze, extrapolate, internalize.
Act accordingly.
Whenever you are feeling down, don't sit down or lie down.
It creates a sense of fake comfort.
Force yourself to do something active, go out there and do fulfilling activities.
Force your brain to secrete dopamine.
Don't judge others or compare yourself to them.
Understand that uniqueness is everything.
In trying to only get along with like-minded people, you limit yourself to learning new things.
Most importantly, you close doors of opportunities that could help you grow spiritually.
Doing what's right to maintain it is another.
But what's more important is what NOT to do to take care of your self-image and self-respect.
It's more about avoiding the wrong things than it is about doing things right.
Here are a few things to keep in mind:
Don't get caught up in regret or guilt when you recall past events or situations.
If you learned your lesson, then look back with pride.
"I made a mistake, I know better now."
Don't try to change yourself without being yourself.
It may result in losing your personality.
Build upon who you are.
Achieve your own visions and avoid simply reproducing what you see.
Analyze, extrapolate, internalize.
Act accordingly.
Whenever you are feeling down, don't sit down or lie down.
It creates a sense of fake comfort.
Force yourself to do something active, go out there and do fulfilling activities.
Force your brain to secrete dopamine.
Don't judge others or compare yourself to them.
Understand that uniqueness is everything.
In trying to only get along with like-minded people, you limit yourself to learning new things.
Most importantly, you close doors of opportunities that could help you grow spiritually.
❤29🔥14
I'm sending an e-mail in 2 hours, subscribe here if you'd like to receive it: e-go.wtf/#newsletter
❤4
What most people fail to realize, is that finding a purpose isn't as half as complicated as we
make it seem.
In fact anyone asking: How do I find purpose in life, or how do I give meaning to
my life.. Is simply wondering what beneficial use they could spend their time on..
Your meaning in life comes down to very few questions:
-What are you good at?
-What do you enjoy doing?
-How can the answers above have an impact on YOUR world?
That's it.
Notice that the common denominator here is: YOU.
Do not get it wrong. Your purpose should serve YOU.
The truth is, everyone's purpose is taking care of themselves.
More often than not, people will hide behind fake causes that do not directly involve them and pursue them as if it gave meaning to their lives.
That, my friend, is escapism and irresponsibility.
The moment your purpose stops involving yourself and own well-being
Know and realize that you are hiding from something else. Most people who dedicate themselves to causes not involving them are either broken or hopeless.
They prefer feeling useful to someone else.
Now getting back to YOU
It's very easy to identify within a group and forge your identity and purpose around the group's interest. But it's wrong. None of those people will keep you company in your grave.
Stop seeking purpose in others and understand that your purpose is you.
make it seem.
In fact anyone asking: How do I find purpose in life, or how do I give meaning to
my life.. Is simply wondering what beneficial use they could spend their time on..
Your meaning in life comes down to very few questions:
-What are you good at?
-What do you enjoy doing?
-How can the answers above have an impact on YOUR world?
That's it.
Notice that the common denominator here is: YOU.
Do not get it wrong. Your purpose should serve YOU.
The truth is, everyone's purpose is taking care of themselves.
More often than not, people will hide behind fake causes that do not directly involve them and pursue them as if it gave meaning to their lives.
That, my friend, is escapism and irresponsibility.
The moment your purpose stops involving yourself and own well-being
Know and realize that you are hiding from something else. Most people who dedicate themselves to causes not involving them are either broken or hopeless.
They prefer feeling useful to someone else.
Now getting back to YOU
It's very easy to identify within a group and forge your identity and purpose around the group's interest. But it's wrong. None of those people will keep you company in your grave.
Stop seeking purpose in others and understand that your purpose is you.
🔥34❤11
Forwarded from Based Realist
Everyone who took the 21SS know how flawlessly this works
❤8
Side note:
I promised a massive giveaway at 5k.
We're close 🥂
I promised a massive giveaway at 5k.
We're close 🥂
❤18🔥10
Atlas and I have set a release date for Mental Warfare Strategies 2.0
We will be adding 12 new audios and get in even more details.
If you already got it, you should receive all updates for free on May 10th.
Really excited to share this with you, we've been working on it for the past months and it's gonna be even better than the first version!
We will be adding 12 new audios and get in even more details.
If you already got it, you should receive all updates for free on May 10th.
Really excited to share this with you, we've been working on it for the past months and it's gonna be even better than the first version!
🔥11❤3
# The Social Skills Playbook: Part 1 - Self-Confidence
You’re either one or the other and this post concerns both.
Person A: “Why would I need to improve my social skills? I hate people!”
or “I’m an introvert, I don’t enjoy social events so I don’t need this”
Well you are wrong, Person A.
Being unable to nurture and maintain positive and good relationships; while enjoying your time around other people will inevitably increase your anxiety levels (hence the whole concept of social anxiety). But not only.
It will prevent you from seizing many opportunities that might come from simply meeting more people.
Person B: “I need to get better at dealing with people”
”I want to work on my social skills but don’t know where to start”
You realize the importance of social skills, Person B.
So you will most likely value the information in this post more than the above example.
but as I said, you both need it.
Ok friends enough with introductions.
Because I got you.
As I said many times, self-awareness is the core component of social skills.
That’s why this will mainly be an introspective work, in other words you’re going to have to ask yourself some questions and answer them in the most honest way possible.
That’s where we start, because if we’re going to work on something we first need to find the problem we need to fix.
For how to fix them, this is going to be an ongoing series where I get more in detail as we advance.
Anyway, with this out of the way, let’s start.
First and foremost, what you need to understand is that there are 3 main sides of communication, which is the core of what we’ll cover.
- Nonverbal (body language, micro expressions, postures etc...)
- Verbal (assertiveness, choice of words, tone, listening abilities, rhetorical skills, short answers, openers etc..)
At the end of the day, being socially skilled mainly means being able to communicate properly and convey your ideas while building positive relationships.
What means?
The most essential thing you should work on is your self-confidence.
No matter how good you are at communicating your ideas, you will always fail to do so if you don’t have the balls to take the initiative and talk.
But it’s not just about verbal communication.
It also concerns your posture, the volume and tone of your voice and the overall ability to impose your presence regardless of the content of what you’re going to say.
This is criminally underrated.
This is the very reason some seemingly stupid people can manage to impose their presence without ever adding value to any of the conversations they take part of.
As powerful as what you say to people with your words; your overall body language can come and hinder your communication skills if it does not match your speech.
Just as it can do the opposite and reinforce an initially weak choice of words.
You can get away with a lot just by being confident in the way you conduct yourself.
Now questions are:
1- How to improve that?
2- How to practice that?
The answer (to both):
Put yourself out there and reflect on your experiences.
As long as you won’t be exposing yourself to uncomfortable situations you.
You can practice with a friend or relative but IS THAT REALLY EFFECTIVE?
The answer is NO.
It won’t be because you’ll be comfortable in that situation.
”Then how should I practice?”
Read the next post.
You’re either one or the other and this post concerns both.
Person A: “Why would I need to improve my social skills? I hate people!”
or “I’m an introvert, I don’t enjoy social events so I don’t need this”
Well you are wrong, Person A.
Being unable to nurture and maintain positive and good relationships; while enjoying your time around other people will inevitably increase your anxiety levels (hence the whole concept of social anxiety). But not only.
It will prevent you from seizing many opportunities that might come from simply meeting more people.
Person B: “I need to get better at dealing with people”
”I want to work on my social skills but don’t know where to start”
You realize the importance of social skills, Person B.
So you will most likely value the information in this post more than the above example.
but as I said, you both need it.
Ok friends enough with introductions.
Because I got you.
As I said many times, self-awareness is the core component of social skills.
That’s why this will mainly be an introspective work, in other words you’re going to have to ask yourself some questions and answer them in the most honest way possible.
That’s where we start, because if we’re going to work on something we first need to find the problem we need to fix.
For how to fix them, this is going to be an ongoing series where I get more in detail as we advance.
Anyway, with this out of the way, let’s start.
First and foremost, what you need to understand is that there are 3 main sides of communication, which is the core of what we’ll cover.
- Nonverbal (body language, micro expressions, postures etc...)
- Verbal (assertiveness, choice of words, tone, listening abilities, rhetorical skills, short answers, openers etc..)
At the end of the day, being socially skilled mainly means being able to communicate properly and convey your ideas while building positive relationships.
What means?
The most essential thing you should work on is your self-confidence.
No matter how good you are at communicating your ideas, you will always fail to do so if you don’t have the balls to take the initiative and talk.
But it’s not just about verbal communication.
It also concerns your posture, the volume and tone of your voice and the overall ability to impose your presence regardless of the content of what you’re going to say.
This is criminally underrated.
This is the very reason some seemingly stupid people can manage to impose their presence without ever adding value to any of the conversations they take part of.
As powerful as what you say to people with your words; your overall body language can come and hinder your communication skills if it does not match your speech.
Just as it can do the opposite and reinforce an initially weak choice of words.
You can get away with a lot just by being confident in the way you conduct yourself.
Now questions are:
1- How to improve that?
2- How to practice that?
The answer (to both):
Put yourself out there and reflect on your experiences.
As long as you won’t be exposing yourself to uncomfortable situations you.
You can practice with a friend or relative but IS THAT REALLY EFFECTIVE?
The answer is NO.
It won’t be because you’ll be comfortable in that situation.
”Then how should I practice?”
Read the next post.
🔥12
Forwarded from Atlas' Majliss (۞ Atlas ۞)
The barista is your guinea pig.
People are inherently self-absorbed.
I don’t mean this in a negative sense.
People just prioritize themselves and get caught in the busyness of their own lives.
This makes finding people to help brush up your social fluency difficult.
Or does it?
Luckily, there is one segment of society that is especially suited to help you practice your social skills.
In fact, they don’t really have much of a choice.
I’m referring to service people.
Baristas. Cab drivers. Cashiers. The grocery bag boy. Waiters. Doormen. Valets.
Why are they so suited to practicing social skills with?
First of all, they are quite literally paid to be nice to you.
Their job performance depends on their customer service skills, and if they want to keep their jobs, they have to be courteous to you.
This alone should eliminate the fear you have of crashing and burning in any social interaction, because it’s their job to prevent that and probably laugh at your jokes.
You’ll see that crashing and burning is never really that bad, and people move on quickly.
Second of all, they don’t have any choice!
They’re a captive audience behind the counter or cash register.
They are usually stuck being stationary in a position for long periods of time, and for those who have held the above jobs… you know that it’s not the most thrilling life.
Most of the time, they are bored out of their minds, so having someone engage them will be a positive experience for them. You will make their day pass faster and just give them something to do.
You might be the only one to treat them with respect and show actual interest in them as a person, which
would undoubtedly make you the highlight of their day.
In other words, they’ll be glad to talk to you.
So now that we know WHY service people are great to practice with… what benefits do you actually get
by doing so?
It’s pretty simple, actually.
You get unlimited shots at the goal.
If you’re out at a bar or networking event, you only have one shot at making the right impression.
If you fall flat on your face, as will inevitably happen from time to time, guess what? That was your one shot at
the goal and you need to find someone else to practice with.
With service people, you can test different stories, reactions, phrases, greetings, facial expressions, and so on.
Unless you offend them in a deeply personal way, they’ll still be courteous to you, but you can gauge how positive their reactions are to all of your behaviors to know what works best.
You can continuously improve and hone your skills.
You can see your progress with future interactions.
As you see their reactions change, you can fine-tune what you're doing and keep stepping up your game.
Essentially, you’re in a safe environment to practice and polish your social skills without fear of any judgment or consequences.
More than that, you can learn to read people, process their signals, and calibrate your interactions to different types of people.
This is a process that takes trial and error, but you can speed it up exponentially by engaging with service people.
People are inherently self-absorbed.
I don’t mean this in a negative sense.
People just prioritize themselves and get caught in the busyness of their own lives.
This makes finding people to help brush up your social fluency difficult.
Or does it?
Luckily, there is one segment of society that is especially suited to help you practice your social skills.
In fact, they don’t really have much of a choice.
I’m referring to service people.
Baristas. Cab drivers. Cashiers. The grocery bag boy. Waiters. Doormen. Valets.
Why are they so suited to practicing social skills with?
First of all, they are quite literally paid to be nice to you.
Their job performance depends on their customer service skills, and if they want to keep their jobs, they have to be courteous to you.
This alone should eliminate the fear you have of crashing and burning in any social interaction, because it’s their job to prevent that and probably laugh at your jokes.
You’ll see that crashing and burning is never really that bad, and people move on quickly.
Second of all, they don’t have any choice!
They’re a captive audience behind the counter or cash register.
They are usually stuck being stationary in a position for long periods of time, and for those who have held the above jobs… you know that it’s not the most thrilling life.
Most of the time, they are bored out of their minds, so having someone engage them will be a positive experience for them. You will make their day pass faster and just give them something to do.
You might be the only one to treat them with respect and show actual interest in them as a person, which
would undoubtedly make you the highlight of their day.
In other words, they’ll be glad to talk to you.
So now that we know WHY service people are great to practice with… what benefits do you actually get
by doing so?
It’s pretty simple, actually.
You get unlimited shots at the goal.
If you’re out at a bar or networking event, you only have one shot at making the right impression.
If you fall flat on your face, as will inevitably happen from time to time, guess what? That was your one shot at
the goal and you need to find someone else to practice with.
With service people, you can test different stories, reactions, phrases, greetings, facial expressions, and so on.
Unless you offend them in a deeply personal way, they’ll still be courteous to you, but you can gauge how positive their reactions are to all of your behaviors to know what works best.
You can continuously improve and hone your skills.
You can see your progress with future interactions.
As you see their reactions change, you can fine-tune what you're doing and keep stepping up your game.
Essentially, you’re in a safe environment to practice and polish your social skills without fear of any judgment or consequences.
More than that, you can learn to read people, process their signals, and calibrate your interactions to different types of people.
This is a process that takes trial and error, but you can speed it up exponentially by engaging with service people.
❤11🔥9