Downloaded Hinge, now I want to delete it

For some context, all throughout middle school, high school, and college I was pretty boy crazy. I had a lot of talking phases, but never had a proper boyfriend. I would lose interest really quickly though once they reciprocated, and eventually labeled myself as aroace. I still found men attractive throughout my 20’s, but it was mainly limerence and I got over it after a few months. I never talked to them or initiated anything.

I’m 29 now and decided to downloaded Hinge to test the waters. However, I’ve been finding myself so icked out as I look through the profiles. Not icked out by the men, but icked out by the concept of dating. It just feels so cringe and stressful for some reason. The talking stage, the pressure of intimacy, all the things that we have to consider for compatibility, the “red flags” and the “green flags”, it all feels so performative. I’d rather have a relationship progress like the ones you see in kdramas or a shoujo anime, but that’s not reality. Reality is more transactional.

I think I’ll probably delete Hinge and be single for the rest of my life lol. It just feels more comfortable that way. I do get lonely and want to act on my desires (visual attraction) sometimes, but then I think about how much work goes into it, and how cringe flirting is, and decided that it’s better to just stay single.

https://redd.it/1ovik1f
@asexualityonreddit

Disappointed more people dont know how much we like garlic bread

https://redd.it/1ovmxo3
@asexualityonreddit

For other asexual woman, did getting your period scare you like it did for me?

Sorry if this question isn’t appropriate for this subreddit, and sorry if this isn’t the right flair. I have no idea what flair to use for this so I just guessed 😅.

When I got my first period, it scared me to death 💀. I was literally screaming and crying for like, five minutes, purely disgusted by the sound of them. I was wondering if I’m the only one?

https://redd.it/1ovtc0j
@asexualityonreddit

Horny as an asexual

Hallo Ladies, am I the only one who gets horny when I am on my period?

I hate the feeling so what do you do to deal with it? Any tips?

https://redd.it/1ovtlqn
@asexualityonreddit

Over 40 and just discovering I may be asexual

Hi, I am a 45 year old divorced single mum and I am new here in this community and I wanted to share my story as many people here seem to be much younger. I was married once, and have one child. I had a lot of short term or long term relationships with kind of "normal" sex.





I just ended a new relationship with a guy after three months and I am glad I don't have to have sex with him anymore. He was a really nice and lovely guy but wanted sex all the time and I did not.

And I realized that I always wondered how people voluntarily had sex in long term relationships.

For me it always felt like a chore. I participated because it was expected.

I did enjoy it most of the times, but I would never initiate.

I always thought I chose the wrong men and if I would meet the right one, I would want to have sex with him forever. But I always had this issue, and I had many relationships.

So I guess it's me...

It felt better to have sex at the beginning of the relationships when it was new but still it was nothing I would really desire...

The only time I really felt desire was when it was kind of forbidden. I once was the sidepiece of a married man (not proud of it), and I really felt attracted to him. But of course this relationship did not go into long term.





So I looked into this subreddit and I guess I am kind of grey-asexual or aegosexual. I like to read smut and watch porn from time to time. But I only watch lesbian porn. I do not enjoy watching men in porn. But I never met a woman I would want do have sex with in real life, so I guess I am not bi oder lesbian.





I generally feel like bodies are kind of gross and I do not want to interact with anyone naked. Sex felt always better for me when we had clothes on. Maybe this is an issue of my body aging and of bad body image but I do not want to get naked with anyone.





So I guess I am starting to wonder if I might be kind of asexual after having a ton of sex in my life.

Are there other people like me who found out they are asexual later in life?

https://redd.it/1ovx8jo
@asexualityonreddit

Have you ever been in love?

Although I’ve been in a couple of relationships, and had all consuming crushes on people (not the people I’ve had relationships with) I’ve never knowingly been in love. I can obsess about people, sure, and I can love people, but I don’t know the feeling of being in love. Does that have any bearing on being aromantic? Or can aro people still fall in love?

https://redd.it/1ovwu5e
@asexualityonreddit

So Tired Of The “My Parter Is Ace And I’m Not” Posts.

Asexual people can’t have our own subreddit without allos invading it. Do you not understand how triggering it is for us asexuals to go to our safe space just to see posts about how you guys are so unfulfilled in your relationships just because of sex?

All the posts are the same. “My partner is repulsed by sex, but I need it! What can I do?" What do you expect us asexuals to say? You want us, ASEXUAL people, to tell you that we think your asexual partner isn't enough because of sex, something we don’t even like? What do you expect from us? Asexuality is also a spectrum, and everyone who is ace is different. This literally boils down to just TALKING TO YOUR PARTNER. We can’t answer for them because we aren’t them. Why come on here and ask us instead of the person you’re with??

Have you ever stopped to think how many of us aces lost partners we cared about and bent over backwards for, leave us simply because we didn’t want to fuck them, even though many of us tell our partners we’re ace before we even get together and they say they’re okay with that only to break our trust like everyone else has later on? You’re rubbing our trauma in our faces.

I get it if they came out as ace after you get together, that is a little different. And yes breaking up is hard for everyone. But still, you can literally find someone else. You have BILLIONS of people to choose from - meanwhile us aces have less than 1% of the population. So it’s incredibly upsetting for us aces to have see posts of you guys complaining about this when we have less than 1% of the population to choose from. We’d rather not be reminded of how 99% of the population see us as unlovable no matter what we do simply because we’re asexual.

This subreddit isn’t for your posts like this. It’s for us. It’s our safe space. There’s a whole other subreddit for these posts that you can go to. So why post it on here? Why do you guys love reminding us that we aren’t enough for you?

https://redd.it/1ow188x
@asexualityonreddit

I manage with 10 just fine.
https://redd.it/1ow1nqj
@asexualityonreddit

How can I make it obvious that I’m just being nice?

As a man I don’t want anyone thinking I’m flirting. I just want to be nice to people. Is there anyways I can make it obvious without outing myself?

https://redd.it/1ow4a5z
@asexualityonreddit

Ace Community Here Me Out

Ace people of the world!
I come before you not as one of your own, but as a friend and ally and a humble messenger of goodwill. For I have seen that you do not have an animal mascot, the lesbians have the penguin and cats, the trans folks have the shark and the gay men have the grizzly bear and unicorn. Yet I have looked upon your ranks, and found no creature crowned as your emblem.

So today, I bring forth a candidate most fitting:
the GREAT PANDA!

https://preview.redd.it/fg5oihked11g1.png?width=609&format=png&auto=webp&s=3c92edee2a6ad502d8c7b3a3461aade58822b1c5

Let the world know: the panda does not seek the frenzied courtship of the wild but is concerned with happy times and snacks!

https://redd.it/1ow33kk
@asexualityonreddit

Intrusive thoughts question

I've recently had intrusive thoughts of someone else rubbing one off at the thought of me. Is this normal? For an intrusive thought

https://redd.it/1ow73ri
@asexualityonreddit

Yeah like why are you mad bro?
https://redd.it/1owd0fu
@asexualityonreddit

So...I'm new. Why garlic bread?

Don't get me wrong, I love the heck out of some garlic bread. Just curious how it's associated with the ace community?

https://redd.it/1owa5ri
@asexualityonreddit

Firefox's new mascot is ace

I can't help but notice that the colors firefox has decided to have as shirt colors for the release of their new mascot, Kit, are eerily familiar

https://preview.redd.it/4mh1h46ht31g1.png?width=418&format=png&auto=webp&s=9d1955c279f9137895fc535324f7629f24db74cf



https://redd.it/1owfv0m
@asexualityonreddit

I hate how sex is seen as the most important thing in the world

No shame to people that have/enjoy sex at all, it's their life and they deserve to live it the way they want to as long as it's safe and consensual.

But I hate how sex is seen as the most important thing ever. Like, men are supposed to want it and crave it all the time, women are there to fulfill those needs. It hurts both sides!

People literally break up relationships over sex, which, you know, it is important for people in terms of intimacy, but I still find it baffling. It's hard to remember that that is okay to do that, but honestly people should really find someone with an equal libido so that isn't a problem. And then they should communicate if they feel like something is wrong. (I do get that it's also because one partner is being abusive and not making it good for the other -- THAT I completely understand and encourage wanting to leave over because someone can seem great at first and then show their true colors later, and that is awful)

I also feel like it's just constantly in the media. Women are both shamed and encouraged due to having lots of sex, men are shamed for not having enough. Again, it hurts everyone. There isn't any real education either, it's just SEX SEX SEX!

It sucks that it's so ingrained in our society that not wanting sex is seen as the most horrible thing ever and there is something wrong with you. It's stupid.

Also, I read somewhere that in relationships, most of everything couples do together is literally just gearing up for sex by the end of the day. So all the cooking together, dancing together, going on dates, the end result is solely just to have sex apparently. That irks me. This obviously isn't true for many couples, but still.

https://redd.it/1owgeb4
@asexualityonreddit

do you guys have celebrity crushes?

I have many of celeb crushes(prime tom cruise and brad pitt,timothee chalamet and christian bale) but I don't see them in sexual way, I just think they're really good looking. I wanna know if you guys also have crushes on any celeb,you can give me names!

https://redd.it/1owf2n8
@asexualityonreddit

I've recently realised I'm not ace. But thank you anyway.

Thanks to everyone for recognising me as valid, even though I now don't think I'm ace anymore. You all are valid, and this community is one of the best I've had the pleasure to be a part of. I'll still stand by y'all as an ally of course 🫡

https://redd.it/1owjcad
@asexualityonreddit

Are you asexual if you find fictional characters sexually attractive

Hope this isn’t too weird to ask. I might be somewhere on the asexual spectrum (I think?? Idk actually) like I can be sexually attracted only once I’ve really gotten close to them. I’ve only been sexually attracted to like 3 ppl, but I won’t be unless I get close. But I don’t feel the want to be close if im not attracted, so theyre gonna need to be the nicest man to exist and pursue me. I won’t look at a good looking man on the street and think damn I wanna fuck them. But a fictional character? Immediately yes. I’m not aromantic but it doesn’t happen often either. Once every 2 years I’d feel something.

What do you think?

https://redd.it/1ownvn3
@asexualityonreddit

I’m sure you guys see so many of these posts…

I’ve been trying to understand myself because I’ve been this way since I was a little girl. Hopping around relationships most of my life, feeling disinterested in my partners (of all genders) sexually, never initiating first, only finding fictional men sexually appealing in a weird way because they aren’t real, and feeling so confused. I’ve always approached the topic of sex as if its an intellectual thing and not something that just.. Happens. I’ve always seen it as a means to an end and a requirement to have an intimate relationship.

I don’t feel anything when I’ve look at my partners naked. Maybe embarrassed because its odd and unusual for me to look at but other than that.. Nothing. I’ve always felt like I’m broken as a woman.

I feel disgusted and weird whenever people talk to me in a sexually charged way. I don’t have any trauma… Which I assumed maybe that would be a reason why I’m so indifferent but nothing comes to mind.

I feel so lost in a world constantly surrounded by sex appeal and subjects I can’t relate to…

https://redd.it/1owqv9q
@asexualityonreddit