Scared of Gyno Appointment

Aight so I need to get this off my chest. Went to another subreddit about it and one of the first comments was from someone who said they had been pregnant for their first appointment and I was like ah, this is not the space for me then.

I obviously know that a gyno appointment is not sexual at all, but part of the reason I’m ace is because I am deeply terrified of anyone seeing that part of my body. It is humiliating, it is viscerally horrifying to me. I am contemplating rescheduling my appointment (which is scheduled for Monday) because I can’t stop ruminating on it and how the thought of having that be my first appointment ever on a Monday morning at 8 am makes me feel ill lol. I would love to talk to someone who feels the same way as I do. A lot of my friends are sexually active (or want to be) and have 0 fear of going to the gyno but because I’m so anxious about sex in general that translates to the gyno. I wish they had a sedative option genuinely.

https://redd.it/1namyrx
@asexualityonreddit

Do Sirens have to bake garlic bread in order to drown us?

Sirens (the mythical see creatures) attract allos by beeing incredibly attraktiv. That’s their thing to attract mortals and drown them. Their typical approach wouldn’t work so how do you guys think they would try to trick us into the water?

https://redd.it/1nax91d
@asexualityonreddit

Relationships are about more than sex
https://redd.it/1nayqf2
@asexualityonreddit

help :(

i don’t know if i’m being dramatic but i was pushed to make this post because for the billionth time i saw an “AITAH” post where a woman was talking about leaving her husband because they agreed to have sex two times a week and it’s not enough for her.

i am SO disgusted by this!! i literally feel like breaking down crying because i just cannot wrap my head around why this shit is so important for people????? what does having your bits in each others mouths add to the relationship? how does sex in ANY WAY improve the mental or emotional connection between a couple?!?

i’m struggling in my own relationship where i feel like sex is such a waste of time when we have limited time together. i would rather do absolutely anything else in the world then waste the little time i have with my boyfriend having sex.

and the more i read comments of a lot of men being like “yeah break up because a woman with high libido should be taken care of” i can’t help but feel SO DISGUSTED 😭 when i was young i was overly sexual and did things to myself far too often. as an adult, my drive is nonexistent. of course i find my partner extremely attractive. he’s handsome and i do love hugs and kisses. but then i get extremely frustrated when hugs and kisses are only ever leading to one place.

i don’t want to feel this way and it’s hard knowing that sex is so important to my boyfriend and everyone else. even seeing posts that sex is the highest form of intimacy that there is. like what?? slamming your body parts together? something that literally any two people off the street can do is the highest form of intimacy?

i feel like im going insane and i think it would just be nice to know that other people feel the same. thinking about it makes me furious and extremely depressed at the same time.

https://redd.it/1nau74n
@asexualityonreddit

POV: you’re Aro/Ace

me: i’m aroace
someone: oh so like… you don’t like anyone?
me: yeah
someone: not even like… a little?
me: no
someone: not even like… in theory?
me: still no
someone: not even like…
me: has already left, lowered global garlic bread stock by 19%, and is currently eating ice cream

https://redd.it/1naebwt
@asexualityonreddit

Blackberry and apple pie to welcome the autumnal vibes 🍂
https://redd.it/1nb321e
@asexualityonreddit

My Friend called me the “Cursed Valentine Child”

Hey! I am 100% completely aroace and I figured this out in January and I think the funniest thing about it is that I was literally born on Valentine’s Day.. but it gets better y’all, my last name literally translates to “Of Love” in French, yknow..the language of love! Isn’t that a weird twist 😭

https://redd.it/1nb3fbp
@asexualityonreddit

Jerk says asexual people are myths
https://redd.it/1nb5cf4
@asexualityonreddit

Just found out that apparently non ace people are always sexually attracted to people they like romantically.

I know that should probably be obvious but i’m absolutely shocked. I was talking to my mom about my boyfriend and she said something along the lines of “don’t send pictures if he asks” and I obviously laughed it off and reassured her that we both aren’t into each other in a sexual way. She was confused and said “doesn’t that mean you’re just friends then?” I said no and then she said “But you aren’t attracted to each other sexually?” and then I had the realization that non ace people think that loving someone means you want them.

LIKE WHAT?! I was in complete shock. I called my friends AND THEY AGREED TOO. Do non ace people actually not see the difference between liking someone romantically and liking someone romantically but also wanting to have sex with them??? I’m so shocked.

In my mind there’s three tiers of liking someone that I thought everyone agreed with:

1. Platonic
2. Romantic
3. Sexually
4. Romantic and sexually.

BUT EVERYONE IVE TALKED TO ABOUT THIS SAYS THAT MOST PEOPLE DON’T FEEL ROMANTICALLY ATTRACTED ONLY. I’m in disbelief.

tldr: Ace person realizes that non ace people feel non ace things.

https://redd.it/1nb7pku
@asexualityonreddit

You expected nudes… plot twist.

Hi guys.
I wanted to do a small segment here where you suggest a punchline to a meme with the phrase above as the meme. Just complete it with the most asexual thing you can think of but make it funny such that even non ace people can enjoy it too.

The format should be, "You expected nudes! (plot twist)."

For example, “You expected nudes! … but it’s 47 photos of traffic cones.”

Now it’s your turn — what’s your funniest punchline?

PS: Bonus points if you can have the visual representation of the punchline.

Have fun. 😊

https://redd.it/1nb8oir
@asexualityonreddit

Huh, I'm a bit frustrated with r/asexual. I didn't realize there were so many people so against microlabels there. I've never gotten downvoted so much.

https://redd.it/1nbg3ek
@asexualityonreddit

I'm so tired of innuendos

Currently hiding at work cause my coworkers were just talking about salty pretzels and I didn't realise they didn't actually mean pretzles but sucking dick (yes, I'm 100% fr rn). I feel super embarrassed bc I participated in the conversation not realising what they were actually talking about and it was pretty obvious from my comments.

I got it only bc of my friend's reaction (which was pretty lighthearted and didn't put me on the spot which I appreciated) but now I feel so fucking stupid and it just sucks that everything always has to be about sex and everyone is expected to be in on it. It feels like it's impossible to have normal conversations with people bc there's ALWAYS sth or other, I'm so fucking tired of it. And I hate that now it's me who feels stupid and embarrassed when honestly it's just been a shit comparison from the start, like what the actual hell.

It feels like you can't say anything at all bc someone will think you're talking about sex. Even with friends, I'm always so stupidly careful about not using words like coming (like "meeting up" instead of "coming over") bc nobody takes it seriously.

As a teenager I used to think that the entire thing with giggling over double meanings and always connecting everything to sex was temporary and it would get better as adults. But it never stops, I feel like it just keeps getting worse. A comedy show on the TV, and there goes another sex joke. Ads with sex appeal marketing strategies. Sex songs, sex in books, talking about sex when you're just holding conversations, it's everywhere. I hate it here.

It's not like I don't make sexual jokes at all, it can be fun to just make stupid comments with friends, but it feels like it's impossible to just one time have sth completely unrelated to it.

https://redd.it/1nbj439
@asexualityonreddit

We have a problem
https://redd.it/1nbkrff
@asexualityonreddit

being ace and new to dating is hard

ace lesbian here. my gf's hypersexual while i don't experience physical attraction. it feels so strange to suddenly be seen in a sexual manner and suddenly i'm wondering, is this what EVERYONE thinks of me in secret? in my head i feel pressured to match her libido, and it is so, so hard to communicate when i don't even know what i'm feeling. she isn't pressuring me to do anything and wants me to take things at my own pace, but it feels like all our conversations end up turning sexual in some way. i just wonder if she'll leave me one day because we're not compatible like that.

https://redd.it/1nbkdk4
@asexualityonreddit

Is there a Christian denomination that is friendly toward asexual people who would like to get married?

I'm asexual and mostly aromantic, sex-repulsed, and I've never had a libido. I'm a Catholic Christian, and I would love to one day live with someone I love. However, for Catholics, a marriage without sex and children would go against the purpose of marriage and therefore against God's will. Honestly, I think that's bullshit, because marriage is not solely about creating a family. It's probably just a human mistake, in fact my faith hasn’t been affected at all but I’m not sure if staying Catholic still makes sense. I was wondering if there Christian denomination that accepts asexual people who don’t want to have sex or children in marriage.

https://redd.it/1nbkdhu
@asexualityonreddit

Me fr.
https://redd.it/1nbn7ap
@asexualityonreddit

A few months ago, I was kicked out by my stepdad due to my asexuality. After a rough patch, I’m doing better than ever.

While this post ends with a very positive conclusion to the several posts I’ve made here about my aphobic stepdad, I do want to start off by saying that there is discussion of both aphobia and transphobia in this post, both through discussions of the previous posts, and some of the stuff that has occurred since then. It’s also worth noting that my asexuality doesn’t come up as much in this post, but I did want to provide an update for anyone who expressed concern after reading my previous posts.

So over the past year and a half or so, I (20 MtF) have made 4 posts here about my aphobic stepdad (61 M), with my most recent one being about how he kicked me out of the apartment because he had a problem with my friend (20 NB), who is also asexual, and I not having sex with each other, and me wanting to protect them from him. This post is mostly an update to that fourth post, but I have provided links to each of the previous 4 posts for those who want the full history or who think they may have read one of them. I am mostly making this post to let everyone who has expressed concern know that I am doing much better now, and that I am thankful for all the support I have gotten, both from here and from r/asexuality

First post: https://www.reddit.com/r/asexuality/s/khY8QY0BNa

Second post: https://www.reddit.com/r/asexuality/s/T7LhYxdP2Y

Third post: https://www.reddit.com/r/Asexual/s/fADWM4mZFo

Fourth post: https://www.reddit.com/r/Asexual/s/2D3k4l7cwW

So, quite a bit has happened in the three months since I’ve been kicked out. My friend from the last post, who I shall continue referring to as A for simplicity and privacy reasons, has a really generous family that let me stay with them for 3 months. During that time, I finished my Spring quarter in college, as there was only a few weeks left when I was kicked out (my college uses a quarter based system instead of semesters).

Since my stepdad had a problem with my asexuality, he obviously had a problem with me being trans as well, so I essentially had to re-closet myself and denounce the trans community to avoid being kicked out and sent back to Florida a couple years ago. However, I spent the last few weeks of my Spring Quarter going to school in fem clothes and using my chosen name, Audrey.

I had a bit of a bump in the road, as my mom said she would continue paying my tuition as long as I did well in school. The only problem is that my mom was attending the same college as me, going for the same degree as me, and we would be taking classes together starting with the Summer Quarter. This meant I could no longer attend school as Audrey and had to go back to presenting masculine, but I thought it would be worth it if it meant not having to pay for college.

I tried opening a bank account shortly after being kicked out since I knew it would be important to becoming self sufficient. However, I was unable to due to not having my social security number, as that, along with my other important documents, was still at my old apartment. I was planning on meeting up with my mom to get those documents, but before I could, I got a call from my biological dad, who lives on the other side of the country.

Now for a bit of context to this phone call, I actually have three deadnames, which is important for this part of the story. I was initially named after my father, making me a junior. Since this is my first deadname, I will refer to it as D1. Since I never liked the name growing up, I went by a nickname until I was 19, and since this nickname is my second deadname, I’ll call it D2.

Back at the end of 2023, my stepdad gave me an ultimatum. He said I had to choose between living with him and my mom and continuing to go to college, or maintaining a relationship with my bio dad. Since I didn’t want to go back to Florida, especially since it has become even worse for trans people since we moved, I decided to remain with my mom and stepdad, and had to promptly ghost my dad

and block his number.

As a part of this, my stepdad insisted that I get a legal name change to separate it from my father’s name. I was going to wait until I transitioned to get a name change, but I didn’t really have much of a choice here. I said I could just get my name officially changed to D2, but my stepdad insisted that I get it changed to something new. My mom wanted to name me something different before I was born, so that ended up becoming my new name, with me also taking my stepdad’s last name. Since this is my third deadname, I’ll call it D3.

Anyways, I secretly got back into contact with my dad back in mid February after having a sleepover with A the previous night. I explained everything to him, told him about my friendship with A, who was there holding my hand through the entire call, and I came out to him as transgender and he accepted me, and has since become one of my biggest allies.

With the context out of the way, this brings me to the call I got from him before I could contact my mom about getting my important documents. Apparently, my mom had mailed my important documents such as my Social Security Card and my passport to my dad along with a handwritten letter addressed to “D3, D2, whoever you are, and dad’s name”. I was furious, and my dad ended up sending the stuff to A’s house so I could get it. The only thing that was missing was my birth certificate, which I did manage to get from my mom when I went to sign a form at my apartment’s leasing office to get off of my parents’ lease.

My mom and stepdad apparently threw away everything I wasn’t able to take with me, so my mom also gave me an envelope full of cash so I could buy new coats and shoes. I didn’t see my stepdad, luckily, but I had never been so upset at my mom in my life, but I think I hid it pretty well. We didn’t see each other again until the first in-person class we had together in Summer Quarter, and we didn’t really interact or speak to each other in any way. My own mother and I were now treating each other like strangers, and it really hurt.

I ended up dropping both of my Summer classes after four weeks because I couldn’t focus at all and it was severely affecting my performance. After informing my mom of this, and acknowledging that I knew she wouldn’t be paying my tuition anymore, she revealed that she wasn’t planning on doing so regardless, so that’s nice.

Anyways, on to more positive stuff. I managed to open my bank account and I got a new phone plan so I could call people again (I was having to use A’s landline to call my father before). I came out to my grandma and grandpa first, since they’re the members of my mom’s side of the family that I interact with the most. I was nervous since my grandmother voted for Trump 3 times, which I (and my grandpa) still aren’t thrilled about, but both her and my grandpa accepted me, and they have been helping me a lot financially, which I am super grateful for. I also came out to my stepmother while I was talking to my dad, and she accepts me too.

Next I let my aunt and uncle (my mom’s younger sister + her husband) know that I’m trans about a month ago, and it went well. A little under a week ago, I talked with my other uncle and aunt (my mom’s younger brother and his wife), and came out to them as well, so now pretty much my whole family in Florida know I’m trans and they accept me.

I have been getting money from my father and my maternal grandparents, which I have been incredibly grateful for. I also applied for a Student Emergency Grant from my college, which I do not have to pay back. This has allowed me to find a more steady place to live, as A’s mom said that she enjoys having me as a houseguest, but wanted me to know where I was going to live by the end of August, and, as I have said many times, I didn’t want to go back to Florida.

This money has allowed me to rent my own place in Seattle. It’s my own room in a house that is shared by several other women, who are trans friendly, so I have been accepted into the house and all the other women have been very nice to me. Plus,