I'm always surprised when someone is not ace (anyone else think like this?)
So apparently my brain, by default, just assumes that everyone (real ppl and fictional charas) is ace like me. And everytime someone implies otherwise I go surprised Pikachu face
Anyone else have this issue?
Is this an issue?
Should I work on not assuming everyone is ace?
(I don't force this on anyone, or even verbalize it btw. All of this happens in the confines of my own brain but I'm worried about turning into a bigot ig)
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So apparently my brain, by default, just assumes that everyone (real ppl and fictional charas) is ace like me. And everytime someone implies otherwise I go surprised Pikachu face
Anyone else have this issue?
Is this an issue?
Should I work on not assuming everyone is ace?
(I don't force this on anyone, or even verbalize it btw. All of this happens in the confines of my own brain but I'm worried about turning into a bigot ig)
https://redd.it/1n79xp2
@asexualityonreddit
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Okay, some alloaces SERIOUSLY need to educate themselves on the Split Attraction Model
While most do understand that romantic and sexual attraction are different I've now seen multiple alloromantic asexuals being super weird about the SAM, and I find this very problematic.
The reason I just need to vent about this is a post on here from today, presenting a suggestion for a new aspec flag - aspec, not just asexual - and so many replies on it are from alloaces criticizing it for being a "worse ace flag"... it's NOT an ace flag, it's an aspec flag!
"Aspec" isn't a synonym for "asexual", it covers any identity describing a lack of something; asexual, aromantic, aplatonic, agender, anattractional, etc.
Additionally, I've seen multiple alloaces overall reject the Split Attraction Model for using terms like "platonic attraction" and "familial attraction", calling it "weird" or "creepy" because to them, "attraction" apparently only refers to sexuality or romanticism - it doesn't!
"Attraction" on its own, is simply derived from the Latin word for "pull". Yes, that's all it means. If you feel an urge to be friends with a specific person or love someone as a friend, that is platonic attraction. If you love your family or individual members in a familial way, that is familial attraction.
I find it really problematic how little solidarity some people here show towards other aspec identities, getting hundreds of upvotes while people explaining the SAM are getting downvoted.
Alloaces - be better. Educate yourselves on the SAM, and show some solidarity.
Edit: Just saw a comment on that post that actually made me furious; "Let's not put more than four colors on a flag" - okay, cool, guess we're not supposed to accept the LGBTQ+ pride flag, the gay pride flag, the lesbian pride flag, the aromantic pride flag, the aroace pride flag, etc. - it makes absolutely no sense, but this reminded me that asexuals, too, can be homophobic.
https://redd.it/1n7grgm
@asexualityonreddit
While most do understand that romantic and sexual attraction are different I've now seen multiple alloromantic asexuals being super weird about the SAM, and I find this very problematic.
The reason I just need to vent about this is a post on here from today, presenting a suggestion for a new aspec flag - aspec, not just asexual - and so many replies on it are from alloaces criticizing it for being a "worse ace flag"... it's NOT an ace flag, it's an aspec flag!
"Aspec" isn't a synonym for "asexual", it covers any identity describing a lack of something; asexual, aromantic, aplatonic, agender, anattractional, etc.
Additionally, I've seen multiple alloaces overall reject the Split Attraction Model for using terms like "platonic attraction" and "familial attraction", calling it "weird" or "creepy" because to them, "attraction" apparently only refers to sexuality or romanticism - it doesn't!
"Attraction" on its own, is simply derived from the Latin word for "pull". Yes, that's all it means. If you feel an urge to be friends with a specific person or love someone as a friend, that is platonic attraction. If you love your family or individual members in a familial way, that is familial attraction.
I find it really problematic how little solidarity some people here show towards other aspec identities, getting hundreds of upvotes while people explaining the SAM are getting downvoted.
Alloaces - be better. Educate yourselves on the SAM, and show some solidarity.
Edit: Just saw a comment on that post that actually made me furious; "Let's not put more than four colors on a flag" - okay, cool, guess we're not supposed to accept the LGBTQ+ pride flag, the gay pride flag, the lesbian pride flag, the aromantic pride flag, the aroace pride flag, etc. - it makes absolutely no sense, but this reminded me that asexuals, too, can be homophobic.
https://redd.it/1n7grgm
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Media is too big
VIEW IN TELEGRAM
IDK why but I feel like someone here may need to hear this
https://redd.it/1n7e9wy
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/1n7e9wy
@asexualityonreddit
Are You Aro (Advice)?
**Hi everyone!**
Welcome to our weekly Advice post about Aromanticism! Aromantic people experience little to no romantic attraction.
**Do any of these resonate with you?**
\* You rarely (if ever) experience crushes on others.
\* You find the idea of a romantic relationship unappealing, and prefer strong platonic bonds.
\* You've been in romantic relationships but felt like you were going through the motions.
\* You've researched what crushes are "supposed" to feel like, but can't relate.
These are just a few signs you might be Aromantic. Aromanticism is a spectrum, and every person's experience is unique.
\*\*Have questions about aromanticism or your own identity?\*\* Ask away in the comments below, and we'll and your fellow Aro’s will do the best to help!
* [**More signs that you are Aro**](https://aromanticguide.com/am-i-aro)
* [**Honeymoon Phase**](https://health.clevelandclinic.org/what-is-the-honeymoon-phase)
* [**Types of attraction (might be incomplete)**](https://types-of-attraction.carrd.co/)
https://redd.it/1n7quvg
@asexualityonreddit
**Hi everyone!**
Welcome to our weekly Advice post about Aromanticism! Aromantic people experience little to no romantic attraction.
**Do any of these resonate with you?**
\* You rarely (if ever) experience crushes on others.
\* You find the idea of a romantic relationship unappealing, and prefer strong platonic bonds.
\* You've been in romantic relationships but felt like you were going through the motions.
\* You've researched what crushes are "supposed" to feel like, but can't relate.
These are just a few signs you might be Aromantic. Aromanticism is a spectrum, and every person's experience is unique.
\*\*Have questions about aromanticism or your own identity?\*\* Ask away in the comments below, and we'll and your fellow Aro’s will do the best to help!
* [**More signs that you are Aro**](https://aromanticguide.com/am-i-aro)
* [**Honeymoon Phase**](https://health.clevelandclinic.org/what-is-the-honeymoon-phase)
* [**Types of attraction (might be incomplete)**](https://types-of-attraction.carrd.co/)
https://redd.it/1n7quvg
@asexualityonreddit
I’m in love with my Best friend
I’m in love with my best friend and she’s asexual.
For context. My best friend and I have been friends for almost 5 years now. We were close right off the bat and have been through neck and neck, ups and downs all of it. She’s always supported me in my ambitions and I’ve always helped her through everything and more.
Now when I say in love, I mean more so, she’s the closest female in my life who’ve I genuinely grown passionate about, she’s the kind of person I’d want to grow more emotionally and physically intimate with. I find myself calling her so many times and I question am I calling too much. Truthfully things just feel so natural with her. Which is why the idea of us being together isn’t inherently opposing to me.
At first I didn’t think she was too physically attractive, but now, it doesn’t necessarily matter to me as I feel like my feelings for her outweighs that.
Now obviously she’s asexual, she’s never dated and doesn’t have interest currently. But we’ve talked about the future a lot and she’s open to the idea of meeting someone eventually and even possibly engaging with them in the act, it’ll strictly depend on the them.
I don’t know I guess I am just coming here for slap in the face advice on the reality of this, I’ll always value her as my friend, and these feelings very well can be a result of me just not being in a relationship for a long time. But as far as I’m concerned, if we were to be together, for the first time in my life I’d want this one to last.
https://redd.it/1n7yolv
@asexualityonreddit
I’m in love with my best friend and she’s asexual.
For context. My best friend and I have been friends for almost 5 years now. We were close right off the bat and have been through neck and neck, ups and downs all of it. She’s always supported me in my ambitions and I’ve always helped her through everything and more.
Now when I say in love, I mean more so, she’s the closest female in my life who’ve I genuinely grown passionate about, she’s the kind of person I’d want to grow more emotionally and physically intimate with. I find myself calling her so many times and I question am I calling too much. Truthfully things just feel so natural with her. Which is why the idea of us being together isn’t inherently opposing to me.
At first I didn’t think she was too physically attractive, but now, it doesn’t necessarily matter to me as I feel like my feelings for her outweighs that.
Now obviously she’s asexual, she’s never dated and doesn’t have interest currently. But we’ve talked about the future a lot and she’s open to the idea of meeting someone eventually and even possibly engaging with them in the act, it’ll strictly depend on the them.
I don’t know I guess I am just coming here for slap in the face advice on the reality of this, I’ll always value her as my friend, and these feelings very well can be a result of me just not being in a relationship for a long time. But as far as I’m concerned, if we were to be together, for the first time in my life I’d want this one to last.
https://redd.it/1n7yolv
@asexualityonreddit
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im just confused, please help
i enjoy sexual things most of the time, and i enjoy engaging sexually with other people/my partner. but i dont really feel a need to be sexual with anyone just on a regular basis. i feel fucking horrific because my boyfriend is hypersexual. i dont feel like i could ever meet his needs, but i can never tell him this because he's absolutely terrified of forcing me into anything. and when i say absolutely terrified, i mean that he will go into horrific spirals of "im such a disgusting fucking person for even wanting to engage with you sexually, i'm the worst ever, i'm so disgusting, i'm so gross, i'm the worst ever, i cant believe i would even ask to fuck you because i'm so fucking disgusting for wanting to have sex"
i feel so broken. i feel like theres something so deeply wrong about me that i dont feel the same way that he or anyone else does about sex. i like sex, i like the idea of having sex, its just... not ever a priority for me.
but if its not a priority for me, then my boyfriend is going to keep feeling like he's disgusting just for thinking about having sex with me.
part of me wants to beg him to go to therapy for this and other things, because i genuinely just dont know how to help him with the problems he has. i feel fucking useless. i feel pathetic. i feel broken.
what is wrong with me that my libido doesnt match his? why does he feel like its his problem when its my problem instead? no one ever complains about someone wanting to have sex too much, the only problem is me . whats wrong with me? i cant even bear the idea that i'm asexual even though i'm posting to this subreddit. to admit that i might be on the ace spectrum would be to admit tjat i'm not good enough for him. and i cant ever tell him that i'm on the ace spectrum because itll just make his issues worse. i'm so lost. i'm so confused. please help me
https://redd.it/1n82fgm
@asexualityonreddit
i enjoy sexual things most of the time, and i enjoy engaging sexually with other people/my partner. but i dont really feel a need to be sexual with anyone just on a regular basis. i feel fucking horrific because my boyfriend is hypersexual. i dont feel like i could ever meet his needs, but i can never tell him this because he's absolutely terrified of forcing me into anything. and when i say absolutely terrified, i mean that he will go into horrific spirals of "im such a disgusting fucking person for even wanting to engage with you sexually, i'm the worst ever, i'm so disgusting, i'm so gross, i'm the worst ever, i cant believe i would even ask to fuck you because i'm so fucking disgusting for wanting to have sex"
i feel so broken. i feel like theres something so deeply wrong about me that i dont feel the same way that he or anyone else does about sex. i like sex, i like the idea of having sex, its just... not ever a priority for me.
but if its not a priority for me, then my boyfriend is going to keep feeling like he's disgusting just for thinking about having sex with me.
part of me wants to beg him to go to therapy for this and other things, because i genuinely just dont know how to help him with the problems he has. i feel fucking useless. i feel pathetic. i feel broken.
what is wrong with me that my libido doesnt match his? why does he feel like its his problem when its my problem instead? no one ever complains about someone wanting to have sex too much, the only problem is me . whats wrong with me? i cant even bear the idea that i'm asexual even though i'm posting to this subreddit. to admit that i might be on the ace spectrum would be to admit tjat i'm not good enough for him. and i cant ever tell him that i'm on the ace spectrum because itll just make his issues worse. i'm so lost. i'm so confused. please help me
https://redd.it/1n82fgm
@asexualityonreddit
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Im lonely
Hi I’m 22 and im asexual and I’m really lonely, I live in Utah and I’m having trouble finding friends and idk why. What should I do
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@asexualityonreddit
Hi I’m 22 and im asexual and I’m really lonely, I live in Utah and I’m having trouble finding friends and idk why. What should I do
https://redd.it/1n82onw
@asexualityonreddit
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