Conversation I had today 😉
https://redd.it/1n0ik4r
@asexualityonreddit

Am I Asexual?

Am I a asexual? I don't feel attraction towards either sex. I can look at someone & acknowledge their attractiveness but i don't get turned on. I am not sex repulsed however sex isn't the most important thing for me. When i am around "straight" individuals I may make a lewd comment regarding an individual however that what society has programmed. Reddit what am I ?

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@asexualityonreddit

sex seems fine but also like. not.

so for ages i've identified as bisexual, because i do find both men and women attractive. libido's fine. but then i'll think about actually having sex with anyone and if i think about it for longer than a couple minutes it's kinda gross. it seems great in theory but it's also messy and i can't imagine anybody else knowing what i like the way i do. i can't imagine it's any better with someone else. i also can't seem to initiate anything. like i never know when people find me attractive and if the other person doesn't kiss me or something i'm never going to do it. i thought it was just the aromanticism/avoidance/really high standards but maybe it isn't. does anybody else resonate with this?

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@asexualityonreddit

Alloace with Asexual for 8-years

Hello everyone!
I am seeking advice on a few thoughts:

1. Why do people question my want for a platonic relationship with my Ace partner?

2. Has anyone met someone that loved other aspects of the relationship that sex didn’t overshadow everything?

3. What are some reasons (in your opinion) an Ace would attach to someone even if they don’t want to (explained later)?

4. Any successful Allo to Ace long term relationships that can give some advice from their own experience?


Me (26M) and my partner (25F) have been together for 8-years. We were each others first (yes the dirty) after 6-years in the relationship. Her loyalty has been unmatched. Even when I deployed with the Army 3-years in. In the beginning I struggled with understanding Asexuality. She wasn’t consciously aware of the term until a year ago. It was difficult for me especially being surrounded by men as a soldier whose only aspirations are to look cool in a uniform and F-around. For years I was convinced she was manipulating me, lying to me, sleeping with someone else, etc. I had high anxiety and lack of trust because this relationship dynamic made ZERO sense to everyone else’s experiences (and me).

Now that I’m 26 I’ve really grown attached to our style. Even fascinated by how sex will not control her mind. Kind of envious tbh🤣. But we’ve had some experiences that do give me slight anxiety.

When we moved in together last year we broke up. It was a hard adjustment as kids and while none of us never physically broke trust, I was surprised to find how much she relied on “fallbacks.”

Tho she is an ace “sex repulsed with no physical connection,” she seeks emotional validation. She enjoys doing photoshoots and pageant stuff for her confidence but when we broke up she went through a phase where she was accepting anyone who would give her an ear. Very quickly did it turn into stalking and even one guy following her to her hotel room asking for sex (which almost ended in a lawsuit). Another guy inviting her to a nude shoot where he would rent a hotel room and they would shower together🤣.

Anyway, a few more stories later we are back together. We’ve spent so much time talking details and even shared our social medias to have complete transparent conversations about hard experiences and mistakes.

My most difficult thoughts are understanding what she is capable of emotionally. We broke up because I did NOT actively listen to her and didn’t realize how much she needed my support. After months of that she tried to fill that gap and it really hurt. I was NOT a good partner and I fully admit that part.

We have decided to reconcile a few weeks ago. Now that we’re in therapy (only 3-sessions in) there’s so many things coming to light I didn’t pay attention to. However, I feel like even my therapist questions my desire for our relationship over sex.
When I told her I missed her more than shed and was willing to stay platonic, She (respectfully) said “How do you know if it’s the only thing you’ve ever known.”

At this point me and my partner have done some deep communication and are equally going through tough motions to listen to each other and be more open… But I still have many worries. At the moment specifically on the emotional end. It seems very sensitive and almost like a tight rope.

Thoughts?
Advice?

Thank you if you read this far!

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@asexualityonreddit

i think sex as a woman is degrading..

i've never done it nor do i plan to, but the thought of it feels so humiliating. the penetrative part of sex just sounds like i'm being used and it's uncomfortable. if i was a man, i wouldn't mind any of this, but the penetration as a woman? seems so degrading. i don't even know how to explain this feeling. it's just knowing that a man is doing something to me and i'm taking it.. that is what makes me so uncomfortable. it's hard to explain tbh. it doesn't feel like a loving activity you do together, but more like i'm receiving it and being used for it. i don't like the feeling of " i'm doing this TO you " part of penetrative sex.. i want to feel as if i'm in control of myself

sometimes i wish i was born as a man tbh, wouldn't feel any of this and sex wouldn't be so degrading to me. idk if i have internalized misogyny or what

https://redd.it/1n0tp9f
@asexualityonreddit

Look this sub for my hispanic ace ppl

r/asexualidad

Hope this isnt breaking a rule.

https://redd.it/1n0wf3t
@asexualityonreddit

Opinions on this ... ?

https://redd.it/1n0xfri
@asexualityonreddit

My beloved 💜💜💜
https://redd.it/1n0y6nj
@asexualityonreddit

Here we go
https://redd.it/1n0x7hr
@asexualityonreddit

PSA you're not "missing out" on anything
https://redd.it/1n10l6x
@asexualityonreddit

Asexual pants
https://redd.it/1n129sm
@asexualityonreddit

Ace, though so easily overstimulated

Hi,

This is just a post in order to share my mere mortal condition.

Basically I'm neurodiverging all over the place, and especially am very easily in a state of sensory overload.

The good part is that I don't know how pany people may enjoy music, art and any kind of aesthetic or intellectual content as intensely as I do.

The bad part is that interacting with people is a challenge considering that basically any emotional interaction with someone knocks me out and makes me stressed out for the next 5 hours.


It is obvious to me that i am asexuel on so many lever. However, aromantism isnt as clear as the former : it is not that I want a romantic relationship, but sensually-wise, I can not deny that it must be something.


"Still what is forming such bond, if not a platonic relationship ?" would you say.
The problem I face is that don't know what to say : "I like stimulation" seems really goofy to tell, and doesn't really reflects my whole point, bc it is not about something as shallow as dopamine.

Anyway, tl;dr:
"clearly asexuel, most likely aromantic, but definitely not asensual " is an idea I have not found a lot, yet I think is relevant enough to deserve a post here.
Any comment ?

https://redd.it/1n0zxsy
@asexualityonreddit

Learning about sexual reproduction in science classes

My 13 year old is aroace. Today was her first day of seventh grade, and she found out they will be learning about sexual reproduction in science this year. She is dismayed by this, and thinks it will be gross.

Did anyone else here feel that way about learning about sexual reproduction? How did you deal with it?

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@asexualityonreddit

Why do allos think not having a relationship/having had your first time yet makes you a loser?

Like ... I get that sex is important and fun for a lot of allos. And I get that most are very much interested in getting a nice and stable relationship. But what I don't get is that it's seen as sad if you haven't had your first time/relationship yet. Me personally I've had neither. And when my friends ask: "Do you have a boyfriend yet?"

And I reply with "no", they immediately give me this look full of pity and say, "Really!? Oh my god!" I've had a friend make fun of me for not having had a boyfriend yet. Like it's something everyone has to have. I just don't get why it makes you a loser.

https://redd.it/1n0x0wi
@asexualityonreddit

Do you like dressing up?

I personally hate those things and I’m curious if it is related to my lack of sexual desire.

My goal to grooming is simply to avoid looking strange to others while I feel that others aim more to appear attractive

Maybe I am feeling this way because I am a young woman and most of my friends are into dating&glow up😅

https://redd.it/1n127cz
@asexualityonreddit

Asexuals or aromantics, how significant is aesthetic and intellectual attraction in your social life when forming connections with others?



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@asexualityonreddit

Has society gotten too hypersexual in recent years?

Tw: sex mention
Lately all songs are explicitly about sex, all song performances are sexual and include almost complete nudity. As a repulsed ace, I can't be a fan of anything without a sexual song, a sexual choreography, a sexual concert, naked artists being shoved into my face. And no matter how much I love songs/performances or anything really, I just feel sick and I cannot explain this in fandom spaces without being jumped. I hope people from my community will understand this.
There's only so many songs I can relate to cake and garlic bread, yk?

https://redd.it/1n1b8h4
@asexualityonreddit

Taking the blame for someone else's "toy."

My roomate brought his mother over to help clean part of the house. I walked by and caught her holding a bright pink you-know-what and looking at it with disgust. Later on I seen she had put it in my bathroom drawer, just sitting on top of my hygiene belongings like some kind of insult.

I have to see her again in a couple days and I'm just so embarrassed and pissed off. I can't and won't narc on her son, but knowing she assumed it was mine and me having to just go along with it makes me sick to my stomach, worse than having to actually move the fucking thing myself.

I'm venting here because I can't tell this to anyone in person, but it needs to be said so I can try to get over it before I have to go look her in the eyes and act like it never happened.






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@asexualityonreddit