Ive been designing my own ace ring
https://redd.it/1mz7isd
@asexualityonreddit

Look who I brought back :)
https://redd.it/1mz8xx1
@asexualityonreddit

Ive been designing my own ace ring
https://redd.it/1mz7fop
@asexualityonreddit

crush advice..

i have a crush on a friend who i have liked for a while now . she is also ace and has expressed what she wants in a relationship, which is very similar to me . we both want a relationship that is more of a partnership with emotional intimacy over physical at the center of it something like just being each others person . i have never met anyone so similar to me not only in how we view relationships way but with so many other things . i wish i could fully express how much she means to me and i wish i knew how to go forward without seeming too much . i am away at college and she lives back home a few hours away, and i know she is busy and cannot talk to me all the time but when we do i could never be happier because of how much joy she brings into my life . i am just unsure how to go forward knowing she wants the same things i do without compromising anything but i do want her to know eventually because she is someone i want to keep in my life regardless even if it doesn’t work out in the way i want it to. i tend to overthink way too much so i guess i am just looking for advice or similar experiences with this kinda of thing of how to move forward or ask her out , the timeline of it .. i can’t really ask my friends because they may not fully understand this kind of relationship and how the dynamics may be different than the typical relationships they have idk

https://redd.it/1mzbgyv
@asexualityonreddit

Am I Asexual?

If you are questioning whether or not you are asexual (including all microlabels), reply to this post with what made you start questioning, and why.

If you are too shy to post a reply, then you can scroll through the responses for the advice you may be searching for.

https://redd.it/1mzgkeu
@asexualityonreddit

Antidepressants/anti anxiety medication made me feel sexual attraction? Confused

I found out about asexuality a few years ago, and have identified as ever since I found out. I would always say that theoretically I’m not sex repulsed, and I could potentially have sex with a partner, but as soon as I feel that they start expecting it or wanting it from me, that goes out the window and I can’t handle it. I felt like asexual was the word I was looking for my whole life, I have never been interested or felt the need to have sex. I’m a 24 year old virgin and I don’t care that I’m a virgin, if anything I would feel actually kinda scared when I thought about having sex. (Some of this may be due to religion brainwashing lol)

However recently, I started an antidepressant and anti anxiety medication for the first time. I had been having a hard time at work, and after talking to friends and family I finally decided to stop trying to struggle through it lol. They have helped a lot, but all of a sudden I am feeling sexual attraction? I have never felt this before and it’s really weird 😭 I wonder if my specific case of asexuality was due to me being depressed or super anxious. I am feeling it esp toward one of my friends that I’ve had a crush on, and I really hate it 🥲 I feel like a weird horny freak!

Has anybody else experienced this? All I can find about it is antidepressants suppressing people’s libido/sexual attraction, not the other way around? I’m super confused. Am I even asexual anymore? 😭

https://redd.it/1mzj393
@asexualityonreddit

does anyone else find themselves to force themself to want attention from other people?

For context, I'm F19, sex-averse, and I live in a college dorm with 3 other girls who are straight and allosexual/romantic. They're all attractive and what society would call the norm.

I know I'm ace, but I've been so confused on if I'm aro or not because I don't know if I'm just forcing myself to want attention from guys or if I actually want their attention. I'm just an indecisive person in general, but there are so many things I go back and forth on. Like if I'm romantically attracted to guys or if I only feel like I do because I want to fit in with everyone around me. OR if I'm only doubting my romantic feelings because I know I'm not conventionally attractive and I get no reciprocated feelings. Does that even make sense?

Anyways, this year I've started adding guys on snap and talking to them and scoping out cute guys with my roommates, but I literally can't decide if I actually want that or if I'm just desperate to fit in with them. I know I've also just half given up on myself finding someone because the ace community is so small and I feel like I'd never find an allo guy who's find with a sexless relationship.

Thanks for any advice you can give <3

https://redd.it/1mzgsxi
@asexualityonreddit

Does anyone else experience demisexuality in this way?

I’m curious whether anyone else experiences their demisexuality the way I do:

I often hear folks on the aro/ace spectrum describe their sexuality in terms that can be characterized as “not as much”. E.g. not as much attraction, not as much interest as allo folks, or lack of interest/attractions on occasions where allo folks might have it. I sort of relate to that in general. My interest seems a bit less than most allo folks I know.

But my demi identity is experienced as “more than”. I.e. It can lead me to be interested at times when an allo person might not be. I hear (and have seen) a lot of allo people give up on someone if they don’t have the spark the first they meet or they don’t experience “chemistry” (whatever that is) on the first date. I have many times had the experience of not being attracted to a person at first, but as they begin to mean something to me, an attraction grows where it wasn’t before. It has even happened with people whose gender presentation isn’t normally one that would get me to notice them physically.

For this reason, I’m inclined to continue dating and getting to know someone for whom I don’t initially feel something if they seem like a decent person and are good company. I can end up feeling something for someone where an allo person who expects a quicker spark would have given up.

In that sense, my demisexuality leads me to be *more* interested than an allo person might be, instead of less.

Do any other folks experience their demisexuality as a “more than” rather than a “not as much”?

https://redd.it/1mzrtmm
@asexualityonreddit

I am so immensely disgusted by the way certain people talk about their sexual needs

Since I have no idea if this is just the way most people might think, I figured I'd share my frustrations somewhere people might relate to my perspective better.

This is of course mostly an internet thing in my view - but it concerns me because these people still exist in the physical world and the internet is after all quite influential these days.

It is absolutely insane how some men unironically want to blackmail society for sex. Apparently, saying that men who become violent because they don't get "enough" sex are entirely at fault for it makes me a misandrist. I even got responses genuinely comparing this to poor people revolting because there's a famine.

Am I the crazy one here? Is this supposed to be normal? How do these guys not realise how pathetic it makes them look when they actually use "I'm a slave to my primal urges" as an argument. I'm a guy myself, and I am. So. Sick. Of men trying to blame our "nature" for their horrible views and behaviour.

Update: I was just compared to an aristocrat scoffing at the suffering of peasants around the time of the French Revolution. Because clearly, I wouldn't be saying the same thing if I was a guy.

Lol. I literally am 😭

https://redd.it/1mzrw3d
@asexualityonreddit

In relationship with asexual having many questions and not that simple answers

Hello guys, I'm 21yo guy dating 25yo girl that is asexual, and I have many questions about this matter because all my assumptions seem to be wrong or not so clear.

So first thing first, I'm not asexual guy, although I don't dislike having sex, but imo it's not something that I must have every Thursday or like that. That's main reason why I'm still with her, I respect her sexuality but to her it just seem too unreal apperantly. I don't know what more should I do, to prove to her, I'm not dating her because of sex, but because I like her the way she is, as a person.

Another thing is that she said she hates that I don't have sex, so she has given me two alternatives. First one is that I should have sex with other people (which I really dislike, cause imo sex is something that connects people, because they love each other) and second is she said she has cnc kink. I'm just little bit confused in this matter, she says she is asexual, but asks me to (harshly said) rape her. Is it a thing that asexuals can have this type of kink or any sexual kink whatsoever?

I just like her personality, but I feel like she doesn't want to date me, because I'm not asexual and there would be this tension, that I look at her in sexual way. Would live if anyone has opinion on this matter. Thanks a lot <3

https://redd.it/1mzw2xf
@asexualityonreddit

I'm claiming teto and you can't stop me MUAHAHA
https://redd.it/1mzx5g8
@asexualityonreddit

anyone else just enjoy the buildup to sex?

i’m asexual (duh) and i’m with my gf that is allo and we don’t have sex super frequently because i don’t really have libido but when we do i don’t mind it at all. but i dont do any of the receiving so i find myself enjoying the buildup up and foreplay or whatever but when the actual sex is happening i kinda start zoning out. and sometimes internally i feel bad cuz she is obviously WAY more into what’s happening than i am

https://redd.it/1mzvhg8
@asexualityonreddit

How do you know if you’re asexual or just too young?

I feel like I might be asexual but I don’t know if it’s just because I’m still a teenager and haven’t had the chance to feel sexual attraction yet

https://redd.it/1mzst3j
@asexualityonreddit

My bf thinks I might be ace?

So this is weird for me. Im not necessarily sex adverse and I always thought ACE meant not liking/wanting sex. After a quick scroll I'm seeing this may not be the case.

So Im just going to explain my feelings on sex. I like it. Its fun. I do think about it semi regularly. I do masturbate, but sex with a partner is very take it or leave it. I'd rather just do it myself if I'm in the mood.

Me and my bf had a ton of sex when first got together, but we've been together for almost 4 years and its pretty much only a thing if he asks. And sometimes I just try for him and it makes me wanna cry(I obviously communicate this and we stop. Hes not an dick lol)

The part that I had to explain to him is the physical attraction part. I just dont experience it. I can like aspects of a person and think theyre attractive, but it dont elicit any sort of physical reaction in me unless I'm ALREADY in the mood. Like a person's appearance or actions cant like... get me going. Im either going or I'm not. Idk if this is making sense.

Help?

https://redd.it/1n01wwl
@asexualityonreddit

For any alloace who needs to hear this…

I’m sure I’m not the only one who does this so I figure this might help other people.

STOP DOOM-SCROLLING ABOUT ASEXUALITY.

Do not look at r/DeadBedrooms, don’t look at old askreddit threads about if people would date asexuals or not, none of that. Reddit is a cesspool of misinformation, biases and assholes, and looking at this kind of content is just going to make you feel unlovable and broken, when you’re neither of those things.

I do it, I’m sure many people here do it, no more doing that.

https://redd.it/1n03i7d
@asexualityonreddit

new ace headcanon unlocked

https://redd.it/1n02oqb
@asexualityonreddit

Is it bad to be put off by sexual touching?

I only recently fully accepted being a sex-neutral/sex-averse ace who is not ok with sex in most cases but I have a history of not liking sexual touch (boob/butt touching, thigh touching, etc) in relationships/feeling disgusted by it. Ofc I could just be an evil woman hellbent on ruining men’s time, but is it really awful to set this boundary/is asking someone to get your consent before touching you sexually in any way, even an “innocent one” (I still don’t believe that it’s innocent one) controlling/rigid/stressful for allos?

https://redd.it/1n09i58
@asexualityonreddit

Being asexual in college

Possible TW for mild aphobia!! I can’t put more than one flair on a post, otherwise I would.

I really wish somebody would have been able to tell me how difficult it was going to be being asexual in college. Especially sex-repulsed asexual.

Not only is everyone much more open about being sexually active in college (which I did anticipate), but god, no one will stop talking about it. Like, at all.

Part of the reason I identify as a sex repulsed asexual is because I hate hate hate hate being perceived as a sexual being in any capacity, and that’s making it really difficult for me because that’s all people perceive me as right now. I keep trying to make friends, but I’m finding a good number of people only want to talk to me because they think I’m going to sleep with them. I know I dress up more than the average person, but I really don’t think I wear anything provocative at all, so I don’t understand where this is coming from.

On top of that, every time I mention not having people over to sleep with in our dorm while I’m unable to leave (or asking me to leave if I am able to), I’m met with resistance. Not just from my roommates, but also from my very close high school friends that I used to spend all my time with when I try to talk with them about the trouble I’m having. They act like I’m being entitled by asking for common courtesy and keep telling me to just get over it. (For clarification: I do not expect my roommates or the people around me to simply not have sex. I don’t care if they do or not — I just don’t wanna be around when it happens. I really don’t feel like this is that much of an ask, especially considering I wouldn’t wanna be around for that if I was allo, either.)

I really don’t know what to do. It’s been a week and I haven’t been able to make progress on making any friends at all. I’ve never felt this outcasted as a direct result from being asexual before. In high school, nobody cared that I was ace. Now, it seems to be causing so many problems.

I can’t wait to move off campus and be by myself so I don’t have to deal with all of this. I just wanna live alone with a cat and get my degree already.

https://redd.it/1n0aa2g
@asexualityonreddit