Modern problems require modern solutions:

https://redd.it/1m07aik
@asexualityonreddit

Don't Forget We're Human
https://redd.it/1m097n8
@asexualityonreddit

Dating apps

So I’ve been on different dating apps lately and idk it’s not going to good for me I was on this one app but it’s full of bots ,so downloaded a few more apps one called hinge and it let’s you pick what sexual you are it has even asexual option on there so I like this one so far. Hopefully it goes well

https://redd.it/1m0c473
@asexualityonreddit

Asexual in Bangalore looking for a host for a week

Hi everyone,
I'm a 31-year-old asexual person living in Bangalore. I'm currently looking for someone (preferably another asexual or ace-friendly person) in the city who might be open to hosting me for a week.

I'm clean, respectful, and quiet. Happy to contribute to groceries or help out around the house. Mainly just looking for a peaceful and understanding environment to stay in for a short while.

If this sounds okay to you or you have any questions, feel free to DM me.

Thanks! 😊

https://redd.it/1m0dji1
@asexualityonreddit

I really like this. "You wanna ship aroace characters with allos because it 'does technically happen'? Ok but you have to treat it with the nuance that entails"
https://redd.it/1m0h6bk
@asexualityonreddit

What are some early signs that you are ace but you ignored ?

For me when I was 16 in high school and my friends I were talking about boys. One of them said "What's the reason why we should even have a boyfriend?" And I said "To just look at them they are nice to look at what other reasonsare there" and she said "No we are supposed to have sex with them and talk to them" They all laughed and I was dead serious 😐


Also I loved watch SpongeBob and My Little Pony because romance aren't forced down my throat and shows that did that bothered me like let kids be kids.

https://redd.it/1m0npm8
@asexualityonreddit

We got our own Lay's
https://redd.it/1m0mqpg
@asexualityonreddit

It’s possible to find an understanding allo partner

Based on what I’ve seen on this subreddit, people often wonder if ace & allo relationships are possible & say that you HAVE to be sex positive for it to work as all allo people view sex as something vital that they wouldn’t be able to give up even if they love you. So, I want to introduce my boyfriend whom I’ve talked about before, to a broader audience. We are both in our 20s, I consider myself to be somewhere in between sex neutral-sex repulsive, I am not down for penetrative sex, however I am okay with other kinds of intimacy. My boyfriend is an allosexual who had an active sex life before we met. When we met, I put all my cards out on the table, told him I was ace, explained what it meant for our relationship if he still wanted to date. It was confusing for him at first as he has never met anyone ace before me, however he never pressured me into anything. Never got mad, never got offended or tried to compromise my boundaries. We tried various compromises until 2-3 months ago we’ve found the ideal one. Throughout our almost one year long relationship we never had sex. We did as much as I was comfortable with & when I got insecure over my sexuality & asked why was he compromising so much he always replied with “because I love you so much”. He told me that it doesn’t feel like a sacrifice for him & our relationship feels so fulfilling that this aspect goes unnoticeable. Now, I’m not saying this is a case for every allo person but there are allo people out there that can & will love you without trying to push you into anything, leaving you, getting mad, offended, etc. As at the end of the day, when you’re genuinely loved, you’re loved as a whole, for everything that you are.

https://redd.it/1m0ocf6
@asexualityonreddit

Anyone here in a sexless relationship?

So I’ve read a lot of posts here that are a bit disheartening, many asexuals being lonely and unable to find relationships. Especially for the sex repulsed and sex averse aces who can’t compromise on sex, it seems I’ve rarely seen success stories, be it in an ace-ace or ace-allo relationship unless there's a open relationship situation or other ENM practice, which aren't an option for me personally.

My own experiences have also been pretty grim. I’m heteroromantic, and I’ve never met a man who’d be fine going completely sexless unless we’re talking short term dating… and I don’t want that, I want a life partner. I know finding an ace partner would be ideal, but I’ve been trying on that front as well and finding someone who is both ace and otherwise a suitable partner is very hard. Not to mention all the aces are half the world away :/

Being sex averse, heteroromantic and monogamous seems like a pretty unlucky combination…

Anyway, success stories? Anyone in a HAPPY, sexless monogamous relationship?

https://redd.it/1m0pvct
@asexualityonreddit

I saw a nice store to go to for ace people
https://redd.it/1m07lr8
@asexualityonreddit

The good old days

https://redd.it/1m0sxor
@asexualityonreddit

I think i might realized that im aroace

So i went to Juliet's balcony in Verona and i saw all the love hearts and romance type shit with people kissing on the balcony and all of it disgusted me or just made me cringe. I have hated romance for a while and just thought the whole lovely baby honey cutey stuff was corny and just a bit more interested. Also i was not big into sex just prefer it in porno. I had no celebrity crushes growing up and i only had maybe 3 crushes irl which i got over them i had lots of fictional crushes but i got over them fast and kinda cringed at them. Now i don't hate relationships i can see the appeal but romance is not for me and sex is not really a big deal. So i think im aroace and maybe pansexual if i ever wanted a QPR depending on their status like i would not mind being friends or even being in a QPR with someone who is interested in furry because while im not a furry i do like comics and cosplay.

https://redd.it/1m0o3jl
@asexualityonreddit

Any Other Male Aces Face Sexism?

The title’s pretty much self explanatory. I’ve mainly gotten this from my dad. He basically invalidates anything I say about being ace, he continues to try to see if I find any women hot “in case I changed”, and sometimes he even tries to say that society has made me feel ashamed of my masculine desires and I only pretend to be asexual. Any other male aces have to deal with people who think men must want sex?

https://redd.it/1m10v7k
@asexualityonreddit

Could I be on the Ace spectrum or am I just overthinking?

Hello! I’m 18F and recently had a conversation with some friends where the topic of sex came up. They were all really into it, and I just felt kind of out of place.

I’ve never dated anyone before, but I’m definitely interested in having a romantic relationship if I meet the right person. I’ve had crushes on both guys and girls, but I’ve never been super into the idea of intercourse. I’m okay with things like kissing and maybe upper-body touching, but the thought of someone touching me intimately, especially if it’s a guy, makes me feel really uncomfortable, even kind of repulsed.

It’s not like I don’t have a sex drive, because I do. It’s just the idea of someone else being involved in that way that feels wrong or invasive to me.

My sister is Aro/Ace, so I’ve thought about talking to her about this, but we’re not that close, and she doesn’t even know I like women. So could this be a form of asexuality? Or am I overthinking things?

It’s not something that’s ruining my life or anything, but I think hearing from others who might relate could help me feel a little less like a total weirdo. Thank you in advance!

https://redd.it/1m12ra8
@asexualityonreddit

how are allosexuals allosexuals?

I’m aroace but I sort of find it make sense how people who can feel romantic attraction feel it, but i don’t really understand people who feel sexual attraction. I’m not a prude, I’m not against it, but i don’t really understand how people can go with their day, look at someone and say “wowee! i want to crank that guy!”. I just can’t really understand that. especially allosexuals. do they always feel like that when they see someone who is their type or not?

https://redd.it/1m11gl8
@asexualityonreddit

So I'm writing a "smut" book about an asexual dom and a heterosexual sub, and I'm faced with a dilemma. Do I include sex scenes?

The character I've written is asexual, and sex indifferent, leaning towards sex preferable when it comes to making their partner happy. In other words a 'pleasure dom.'

I've come to terms with the fact that there isn't much representation of the "sex repulsed when it's done to me, but I'm happy to do it to you" subsection of asexuality, especially when the giver is a man, and I'm wanting to be the change I'd like to see in that regard. As you could probably guess, this character is precisely that, he doesn't want anything to do with having her pleasure him, but he's very interested in providing it.

To my knowledge, no media portraying this kind of relationship exists. And that's sad.

Now, obviously sex is a part of the relationship between these two. But I don't want the book to just be that. I'm 40 pages (on A3 size paper) in and I feel as though the relationship between these two characters is at a point where they would be comfortable with it.

Now, I don't mind writing sex scenes, in fact they are quite natural to me when it comes to writing them, but I don't want this to just be another smut book.

I've of course written the female MC to have certain fetishes and whatnot, and of course they're interested in doing those things with the male MC, but yet again, there's tons of that out there.

Fade to black? Just a "well, go on then" followed by the next chapter and a "she awoke-"

My main reason for not wanting to include things like this is that I'm trying to make it accessible to all audiences. I'm no fan of needless sex scenes in books/movies/tv shows, and I'd hate for a sex repulsed individual to put down my book because of it, where that book may be the only representation of their preferred relationship dynamic, or a dynamic they dream about.

I've given lots of thought to just doing a "Clean" fade to black edit, and also providing a "dirty" detailed edit.

I'm interested in what you all have to say.

https://redd.it/1m14ngc
@asexualityonreddit

Top or bottom?

https://redd.it/1m14tgq
@asexualityonreddit

[x-post] Alastor, I don't think that's what Angel meant...
https://www.reddit.com/gallery/1m0m27s

https://redd.it/1m158me
@asexualityonreddit

i’m sick of being made to feel like a puritan for being repulsed by sex

for context, i’m a 27 year old grey ace trans woman.

it seems that every online and irl “space” i can find to socialize with other queer and trans people is extremely sexual. they often tend to be dominated by casual flirting or regaling tales of sexual experiences, and these interactions are very triggering; frankly, i find folks discussing their sex lives to be disgusting irrespective of the dynamics, sources, or details.

i’m appreciative of the few ace friends and groups i have, but nowhere else has proven to be safe or willing to accommodate. it feels to me like an extension of most of society’s failure to be truly inclusive and tendency to tailor things to the most common experience. i understand many queer people historically have been and are still forced to repress their sexualities, and feel a desire to discuss their sex lives as freely as cis hetero people get to, or even just at all, but i can’t turn off the part of my brain that despises the normality of sexual discussion as a whole.

i can appreciate that for some, sexuality is truly a pillar of their expression, and i can’t argue against that meaningfully. nothing can be perfectly tailored to everyone and this is one of the many cases where a fractional group is not taken into consideration because of a perceived unrealistic level of commitment or change required from the rest of the community, but it is still hurtful and isolating.

this last bit is quite catty: i also just find it boring. why are we talking about, like, the default thing our instincts and existence have driven us to do instead of something more interesting or novel or inventive?

https://redd.it/1m18s26
@asexualityonreddit

Thought this belongs here
https://redd.it/1m1a3jz
@asexualityonreddit