Asexuality's affect on gender?

So I've had a lot of curiosity about gender lately and I'm finding it hard to pin down exactly what a gender is supposed to mean or "feel" like. I'm aro/ace and I'd call myself cis-female, based solely on the fact that I feel comfortable with the genitals I was born with (but who grew up constantly dreaming of being a boy-- not feeling like I was, or was supposed to be-- but really wishing that I was because boys seemed to have it better in society).

But I understand that gender identity is beyond the physical, which is why trans people can know that their physicality is wrong, right?

But beyond those biological markers, I don't fully understand how I'd know my gender or how it even matters because any details I've ever seen about it is either relational, or about gender roles and social markers that are purely culture-based.

So I'm wondering if being asexual affects how anyone else views their own gender. To me, a gender label seems almost pointless. It's so heavily a social construct. How do you separate culture from that internal identity?

https://redd.it/1lxc9b3
@asexualityonreddit

Found this but no one are on it yet ;—;
https://redd.it/1lxhe4u
@asexualityonreddit

How would you feel about the possibility of never having sex (possibly again, possibly at all) for the rest of your life?

There’s no right or wrong answer. Where are you on the spectrum between “not a snowball’s chance in hell” and “that would be wonderful” and why? For me its “that would be wonderful”.

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@asexualityonreddit

Trump doesn't surprise me anymore

Trump is gradually silencing all voices in the LGBTQ community one step at a time. First he came for the Trans community and now the Bi community. The insane and unconstitutional legislations he is passing mostly regarding transgender rights are a violation of their rights. We need to be louder than ever and stick together, not become more divided. The transphobic and biphobic stances individuals from inside the LGBTQ community share are very disheartening as we not only receive hate from ourselves but people around us already. It always hurts and makes you feel betrayed when the people you think support you do the opposite. When people from the other side comment that Trump isn't taking away our rights, it's such an offensive and insensitive statement. How many LGBTQ youths have taken their lives or have their lives taken away when they had so much potential to do something extraordinary in their lives and make a difference? How many trans brothers and sisters who are victims of a hate crime while.our government turns a blind eye? How many lives must be lost or put in danger for the government to intervene? While so many of us are struggling right now, the rich only care about themselves and their net worth. Is this what America has become? We cannot give in to the powers above us and must fight for our rights as Americans. Is is our duty as the LGBTQ community to support each other instead of bringing each other down. Times like these call for voices of hope to bring us out of the darkness. Yall mean the world to me and I'm so proud of you being here today and making it all this way 💓 If you are struggling and feel alone, I've been there and it does get better. You are so strong, so loved, and so valid even if you don't feel like it. Don'tet those around you bring you down or tell you who you can or can't be. Sending love from your lesbian sister 🏳️‍🌈 https://inmagazine.ca/2025/07/first-it-was-trans-and-queer-now-bisexuals-are-being-erased-in-america/

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@asexualityonreddit

Super curious if anyone else feels like this

Does anyone ever feel aromantic attraction with sexual attraction, but then asexual with romantic attraction, but with each paired with each other and not at the same time?
Basically either exclusively freysexual+aromantic or exclusively asexual+romantic, but never at the same time? Or am I overthinking it?

https://redd.it/1lxp9kv
@asexualityonreddit

*cries*
https://redd.it/1lxrdhb
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This is what my experience feels like
https://redd.it/1lxtho3
@asexualityonreddit

Asexuality even in my target lol
https://redd.it/1lxtp85
@asexualityonreddit

asexual or dont like myself ?

i dont like sexual activities being performed on me, but i enjoy doing sexual things to other people. i dont understand why, i just dont feel comfortable with it. if anyone knows why that could be or if theres a label for that let me know. thanks!

https://redd.it/1lxxl5k
@asexualityonreddit

how important is the correct identifier to you personally, and why?

maybe it’s because i’m an old-ass person, and late-realized asexual. i’m super comfortable just being asexual, broad as that term may be.

i recognize relationships complicate the matter, to find compatible partners. i also acknowledge self-awareness and answering inner identity belonging. i feel like leaving it fluid allows ME the space to just be, and to accept anyone as they show up.

i dunno, genuinely curious to hear people’s thoughts and learn something on this beautiful saturday.


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@asexualityonreddit

Has anyone tried this app yet?
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@asexualityonreddit

Hmmmm (I’m too tired to think of a good title)
https://redd.it/1ly66pf
@asexualityonreddit

I’m honestly glad I’m asexual as well as Butch. There are a lot of things I can’t do despite knowing how to and I wish nothing more I could. At this point I’m just glad for what I can do and people need to get over it. 🖤🙄

I’m honestly glad I’m asexual as well as Butch. There are a lot of things I can’t do despite knowing how to and I wish nothing more I could. At this point I’m just glad for what I can do and people need to get over it. 🖤🙄

https://redd.it/1ly8n8e
@asexualityonreddit

Hey I'm new here but I have questions

So, ive been digging into my sexuality, and i noticed that ive always been repulsed by sex or any of that not-so-good stuff. HOWEVER. I have fetishes and "wiggle my piggle" to certain things, even though I hate sex and the idea of it. Does that mean im not asexual? Im so confused rn, and im hoping the internet actually does something good for once and helps me.

EDIT: I was kinda in a rush making this, so let me add that i am not sexually attracted to anyone. Yeah, I can tell if someone is attractive, but I've never been sexually attracted to anyone. Hope this helps

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@asexualityonreddit

Common misconception

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@asexualityonreddit

Question about Ace representation

I am blind, and I want to get a keychain to represent and support the asexual community. Could an ace of spades keychain represent asexual? If not ace of spades, what about ace of hearts, clubs or diamonds?

https://redd.it/1lyc85u
@asexualityonreddit

This subreddit is insane

I went to r/hearmeoutbro (for funnies) and most of it is just them being attracted to something for having a hole (like a cave) and literal body horror. Sometimes I genuinely wonder if the allos are OK like wtf

https://redd.it/1lxu1t5
@asexualityonreddit

A rant on how rotten I think the world is... or I am...

I hate it so much when I'm reading book and it's going all good, plot is plotting. And then weird sentences start to come, hinting on something physical. And it gets worse with every passing letter. I tell myself “It might not happen. The author might skip it. I may be imagining things.” But no, it is what it is. An unsettling s*x scene. And I am disgusted.

I don't know if it's a valid experience but after these scenes I am so much in disbelief that I just roam through the following 2 pages, still unable to process people actually engage in things like that. And more: people read these things without a flicker of an eye, even enjoy it. And then there I am: disgusted and embarrassed.

My most recent read is the The Song of Achilles. I understand it is a coming-of-age story with boys discovering each other and stuff. But I just cannot help but feel so out of place when it comes to those parts (the admiration of each other's bodies and the thing itself).

Sometimes I feel I might be just too prudish or that I just self sabotage myself into thinking I don't like it when I actually do. And that what if my experience is not fitting into the spectrum. I know this is silly but the people telling me “You are not an asexual for sure, look at your writings!” gets into my head. Yes, sometimes I write more intimate scenes but what I noticed is that people read it with a totally different view than I do. They see sexual things into details I would never even think of.

It's like it works for me in imagination when nothing too explicit and real mixes with it. When I think of it as just a blurry memory with no outlines. A vague idea of what it is.

I guess TSOA put me off in a very different way, it did to others...

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