Asexuality and Aromanticism on Reddit
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Mirror of /r/asexuality, /r/asexual, /r/aaaaaaacccccccce and /r/aromanticism.

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Just unintentionally came out to my friend

I was having a little mini crash out about people finding others attractive, and she went and googled if it was normal to not find anyone attractive- and it came up with asexuality! She is unaware that I already knew this, but she's supportive of it and was glad that I'm not alone in the world (and that other people have experienced my crash out, lol). But yeah, just a little happy story I felt like sharing :D

https://redd.it/1lktg8l
@asexualityonreddit
This always happens when I get into character-specific spaces
https://redd.it/1lkuqzc
@asexualityonreddit
I can’t enjoy sex mentally….

For me, the difficulty with sex is not only the physical aspect of it, but the mental part.

I just have way too many distracting thoughts going on during the act, preventing me from getting any enjoyment whatsoever out of being intimate.

Such as:

What if what is happening right now is going to result in me getting pregnant?…. Birth control is not fail-proof, you know…

Do I smell bad down there?

These flabby body parts of mine surely cannot be attractive….

This angle of penetration hurts too much….

How much longer is this going to take?…

Etc etc etc…

Then I end up with feelings of resentment due to the one-sided nature of it all. I have to suffer going through the motions, while he on the other hand is just singularly focused on his own gratification.

Does anyone relate or have any advice for dealing with the mental aspects of not enjoying sex?



https://redd.it/1lkvtuo
@asexualityonreddit
It may not have much to do with the group, but when I saw that at least 70 million people in the world are asexual, I wondered, where are you all from?

Just out of simple curiosity

https://redd.it/1ll6bua
@asexualityonreddit
Sex favorable, and a bit confused

I am a millenial, for context. I have also written other posts related to asexuality.

In health class, when sex was first discussed (describing intercourse), I initially thought it was the weirdest thing ever. Why would I (a guy) want to put a part of myself inside another person? I also thought "ok, so I guess that's how people have kids, what's so special about it?". I felt it was just a bodily function, and couldn't understand why people crave it so much. I never understood when people said they have "urges", as I never had them.

Now, I am married and sex-favorable, as there is a bonding aspect to this, and the sensations do feel good. I also recall not having any desire to have sex for several weeks after I got married. There was a lot lf hugging and other stuff, but sex felt (and still feels) very mechanical. Pleasant mechanical, but mechanical nonetheless.

So it clicked. I never had that type of sexual attraction or strong desire to have sex. When other people told me they "need to get some" I could not relate.

For me, sex is a good activity, and I may even prefer it over others, but that specific type of desire or attraction simply seems to be absent. This is confusing since my body is able to respond and get aroused.

Can anyone else relate?

https://redd.it/1ll87e1
@asexualityonreddit
Positive Affirmations

Hey guys, i've been in a pretty dark place recently and would love if y'all could post any positive quotes, affirmations, or anything that's positive in general. Sending love 💗

https://redd.it/1llb224
@asexualityonreddit
I'm ace/alloromantic and like an allosexual aromantic guy

I'm not sure what I'm getting out of this post. Could it work out? What do I do? Idk, just any advice, insight, experiences, etc I'm open to hearing

I've been recently talking to this guy who I've developed feelings for. We've bonded a lot, have a lot of emotionally deep/close convos and he's honestly just so funny !! We joke a lot and do a lot of fun things together and I think I've developed a special bond with him. He's also flirted with me a lot and I can't tell his intent behind it, but he does act a certain way with me.

One of the deep conversations we have sometimes is about love. We were talking about crushes and stuff and the amount of people who date and all that. He was talking about how he's aromantic and that he doesn't understand what it means to be in love. He thinks girls are attractive and he does identify with experiencing sexual attraction to women. But he doesn't understand relationships and all that "in love" ideals that everyone promotes.

I talked about how I experienced crushes and define how it was like for me, and he said he never felt that way. I also included how I am asexual and don't experience as much attraction the idea of having sex and that I'm more attracted to other things. He says that he does feel physical attraction to women (sexually, aesthetically, etc) but hasn't had any feelings of being in love with a girl.

As for the way we're like towards each other? He's very sweet to me and he says he cares about me a lot. We're still friends at the moment so I'm not sure, he probs is like that cause sees me as a friend. Sometimes when we're hanging out though he'll do things like call me beautiful or open doors for me and stuff. He even bought me a whole stuffed animal the other day when we were at the mall and said "Just for you princess!"

Idk where we stand and If I'm just being delusional. I don't experience sexual attraction and he doesn't experience romantic attraction. It seems we both experience aesthetic/non sex physical attraction though. Idek 😭

We're still friends and nothing has happened but I do keep thinking about him but I know it may not work out for him.

https://redd.it/1lldxmj
@asexualityonreddit
I need help confessing

So recently I started dating a girl who asked me out and in these last few months I have realized I don't feel Any sexual attraction to anything and nor can I feel intimate love and I can't love her back and I realy want to break up b3cuse I don't want to tell her to late and I'm scared that it will emotionally break her

https://redd.it/1llg0zr
@asexualityonreddit
GARLIC BREAD [and more affirming body I guess]
https://redd.it/1llkzz5
@asexualityonreddit
I don't know what to believe anymore

I'll try to keep it short. Basically, my aro identity was shaped by the fact that I've made bad experiences with people who have had romantic feelings for me, and that I've had people do "romantic" stuff with me (cuddling, kissing, etc.) while they'd still say they didn't have romantic feelings for me (that was before I realized I was aro and still felt compelled to date in order to be "normal", btw).

So now as a result I'm romance-averse and get really uncomfortable whenever someone has romantic feelings for me, on the other hand I view affection as platonic and friendship as basically a better version of romance.

But now, after telling people outside of the community this, they now claim the people who have kissed me had lied about not having romantic feelings for me, and now I'm spiraling.

Why would they lie? Why wouldn't they just tell me they had a crush on me? Why shouldn't kissing be something platonic? What are the odds of this happening multiple times?

I don't get it. Is kissing strictly romantic? Was I conditioned/groomed into thinking it wasn't???

https://redd.it/1llq73b
@asexualityonreddit