I Just did my ACE bass
https://redd.it/1lgwaj1
@asexualityonreddit

I have never felt sexually aroused by a person in real life, yet I do get sexually aroused from fantasies and porn. Am I asexual or just broken/weird?

I (36 M) have never felt sexual attraction to or arousal around a woman (or man) in my entire life. I have felt attracted to women, but I wouldn't describe it as sexual, especially not in the way others describe it. I never feel sexually aroused by a person i am with or have feelings for. My feelings are strictly emotional/romantic and makes me want to establish and maintain a connection with them. But I have never felt the urge to for example kiss someone.

What causes me confusion though is the fact that I can feel sexual arousal from fantasies. I have had sexual fantasies about real and fictional people since I was a teenager, yet I have never actually felt sexual feelings for anyone I privately fantasize about when I am with them for real.

Same with porn, at least porn about scenarios I find arousing.

So basically I find fictional sex arousing, but not the prospect of real actual sex.

I have been conflicted and felt obligated to do things I have seen people do in movies and series with people I like, because I feel like that I what is expected in that situation. But it is never really something I naturally want to do or feel drawn to in anyway. I keep thinking "oh is this the point where I should put my arms around her? Should I kiss her now?" but I don't actually feel an urge to do it. I might feel like hugging and hold people.

That combined with feeling aroused by fantasies and porn makes me feel like I am not asexual, yet when it comes to real people and situations I am uninterested.

Is this normal? Is there something wrong with me? Am I self-repressing? Can I be asexual irl, but sexual in my head? Does that make sense? Am I still asexual?

Does anyone else who is asexual feel aroused by sexual fantasies? Sometimes I wonder if me fantasizing a lot during my teens instead of being with real women, caused me to only be able to get sexually aroused by fantasies, since that was the only thing I experienced and my brain simply cannot associate real people, situations and intimacy with sex. Like, I only really get aroused by situations and scenarios, not people. Yet I cannot remember ever getting aroused by girls even as a teenager. Never. I never had boners in public or around girls or anything. Even before I discovered porn and begun fantasizing more.

https://redd.it/1lh0x9u
@asexualityonreddit

Friend insists I should identify as apothisexual instead of asexual

Title. Look -- personally, I don't care about microlabels. If they work for you, that's cool, I don't need to understand it to repect it, they're just not for me. This isn't an attack on apothisexuals either.

The other day I was having a conversation with a moot (it was a local aspec meet and greet) and the topic turned towards discussing our attitudes towards sex. Pretty typical stuff.

At some point I mentioned I was sex-positive, but firmly sex-repulsed. My friend then threw, "Oh, so you're apothisexual!" and I squirmed for a bit before correcting her that I don't really identify as such. They asked me why, and I was getting confused. Like, idk, I just don't? I'm asexual. Why do I need another label to indicate I'm sex-repulsed? It's enough for most allos with surface-level knowledge of the community, in my experience at least.

I tell them this and they shot back with "well, aces can still have sex, you know" and BOY when I heard that it's like I aged a hundred years o<-< (EDIT: and yes before anyone says anything, I do know that being ace does not mean not having/unable to have sex.)

Again, I told them that I personally don't see the need to claim apothisexual as a label. Isn't it enough to say I'm asexual? Not for them apparently, because they proceeded to go on a mini-lecture of how we should be more clearer to others so as to be more inclusive and avoid confusion (???) At this point I was too irritated to listen properly. They're a nice person, really, but suffice to say I left that meet and greet tired and unwilling to go to another one anytime soon lol

https://redd.it/1lh1wqf
@asexualityonreddit

If only my 14 year old self knew
https://i.imgur.com/XpK2aYu.png

https://redd.it/1lh2xl9
@asexualityonreddit

Do I have to come out??

I've known I'm ace since ever and recently I've 'discover' that I'm also aro.
The point is, I never told my parents or anyone in my family that I am, actually only my two best friends know, but I have never feel like it is a necessity to told them, is not like I was a lesbian or something that they would have to 'deal' (I mean that they had to make themselves the Idea to see me with a girlfriend and all that shit) or accept, is (basically) that I'm not interested at all in dating nor everything that it entails.
And is not like I hide it, I just feel super uncomfortable talking about sexuality with my family, sometimes is a little bit tiring the "Where's the boyfriend?" Or "When is the boyfriend coming?" Or similar cuestión, tho I just answer "Why the hell would I want a boyfriend?" Then they ask exactly the same but with girlfriend, and I answer exactly the same but with girlfriend, And they look quite happy with that answer.

But the point is, sorry I went off on a tangent, Even if it would stop some uncomfortable questions I don't feel like it be such a matter to have to come out, you know what I mean? But sometimes I feel that maybe I should, and I don't know what to do anymore.

So, do I have to come out?? It would really be coming out?? My head's a mess.

https://redd.it/1lh30e4
@asexualityonreddit

Ace doodle 🖤🤍💜
https://redd.it/1lh5igs
@asexualityonreddit

Just showing my mothman asexual and my inugami wolf spirit with asexual colors enameled pins on my grave digger hat

https://redd.it/1lh7k1c
@asexualityonreddit

Ace doodle 🖤🤍💜
https://redd.it/1lh5i04
@asexualityonreddit

i hated sex and myself



i hated that my life was revolving around a thing that is done in an hour max.. I didn't ever like sex but I had unusaul high sex drive at times .. lucky me I can now focus without having that issues again..


i couldn't focus at anything.. I couldn't deal with girls which I hated myself for .. now I'm finally able to see them as human beings and not chase them for looks but for actual feminine traits

https://redd.it/1lhfffu
@asexualityonreddit

Ace bracelets
https://redd.it/1lhdk0f
@asexualityonreddit

is there anyone who literally cant masturbate?

Like, you don't feel anything. Never have. I know I'm ace, but I feel like this is something separate from being ace, maybe? I have (rarely) experienced arousal before to an extent but I'm in my mid twenties and never figured out how to stimulate myself. It just doesn't work. I don't feel anything when I touch down there than the expected sensitivity of touching a spot with a lot of nerve endings. No pleasure, no feel goods. I've experimented a lot, so I've always wondered if I'm just physically damaged. female genitalia, if that matters

https://redd.it/1lhe5bv
@asexualityonreddit

This is what bi-aroace muslim (26F) look like. Not ready for my conservative society to bother me about marriage and babies in few years, but Imma have fun while I can.
https://redd.it/1lhjm4r
@asexualityonreddit

I thought the aegos would enjoy this
https://www.reddit.com/gallery/1lhghf3

https://redd.it/1lhlsmv
@asexualityonreddit

When will people understand it's an orientation?!

I don't want sex, period!
Others may fantasize about it and enjoy it but for me it's like a nightmare reel on loop.


It is an ORIENTATION, PERIOD.


I AM NOT GOING TO CHANGE MY ORIENTATION, OMFG.


I CANNOT CHANGE IT.

https://redd.it/1lhmygj
@asexualityonreddit

Ace laces! The UK charity Stonewall have just announced for their rainbow lace campaign they have added other flags to buy, including the Ace flag! Love seeing us validated so publicly <3
https://redd.it/1lhq13t
@asexualityonreddit

Would this count as an ace ring?
https://redd.it/1lhqpc3
@asexualityonreddit

Pride experience

https://redd.it/1lhrxay
@asexualityonreddit