Could I admire how someone looks without being romantically or sexually attracted to them?
Finding someone attractive without actually being attracted to them.
https://redd.it/1ky6l5t
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Finding someone attractive without actually being attracted to them.
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Could I admire how someone looks without being romantically or sexually attracted to them?
Finding someone attractive without actually being attracted to them.
https://redd.it/1ky6lad
@asexualityonreddit
Finding someone attractive without actually being attracted to them.
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i like the idea of sex, but i hate actually going through with it
idk what flair really fits but it's more of a question honestly - i just came across something that made me realize i fall more under the asexual spectrum? i like the idea of sex, but suddenly when it's real im absolutely disgusted, overwhelmed, scared, and have absolutely no libido. honestly it feels like i'm forcing myself most of the time. i always just thought i had no libido but i still enjoy the thought of it and think about it???? idk is this considered asexuality?
https://redd.it/1ky9ncb
@asexualityonreddit
idk what flair really fits but it's more of a question honestly - i just came across something that made me realize i fall more under the asexual spectrum? i like the idea of sex, but suddenly when it's real im absolutely disgusted, overwhelmed, scared, and have absolutely no libido. honestly it feels like i'm forcing myself most of the time. i always just thought i had no libido but i still enjoy the thought of it and think about it???? idk is this considered asexuality?
https://redd.it/1ky9ncb
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Can i get my lipido back on anti depressants?
So i've know that i am ace my entire life but i sometimes still used to get in the mood for self pleasure. I never wanted to share any sexual acts with anyone else, but still noticed that every few months before my period i would get in the mood yk. I've always really struggled with talking about self pleasure as i feel invalidated as an asexual as people often think self pleasure isn't a thing as an asexual. But i haven't felt any kind of lipido in several months, since i have been on sertraline for quite a long time now. Does anyone else have had this experience before?
https://redd.it/1ky9lui
@asexualityonreddit
So i've know that i am ace my entire life but i sometimes still used to get in the mood for self pleasure. I never wanted to share any sexual acts with anyone else, but still noticed that every few months before my period i would get in the mood yk. I've always really struggled with talking about self pleasure as i feel invalidated as an asexual as people often think self pleasure isn't a thing as an asexual. But i haven't felt any kind of lipido in several months, since i have been on sertraline for quite a long time now. Does anyone else have had this experience before?
https://redd.it/1ky9lui
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Came Out As Asexual, Need Advice
So last night I (28f) came out to my boyfriend (33m) as asexual. "Babe, I could have told you that," he said. We'd been having some problems in the bedroom with him feeling rejected, and I think he finally understands that it's definitely a me thing, not a him thing. I'm terrified he's going to break up with me -- I love this man dearly, but he's a very sexual person. Gosh I wish I'd come to this realization sooner. I've assured him that I still want to have sex with him, but that my motivations for it are different than his (in that I like feeling close to him, rather than wanting to explicitly feel sexual sensations, because I simply don't have them or care for them). Is there anything y'all would suggest I do to make him feel more secure? Thanks in advance.
https://redd.it/1kyazc5
@asexualityonreddit
So last night I (28f) came out to my boyfriend (33m) as asexual. "Babe, I could have told you that," he said. We'd been having some problems in the bedroom with him feeling rejected, and I think he finally understands that it's definitely a me thing, not a him thing. I'm terrified he's going to break up with me -- I love this man dearly, but he's a very sexual person. Gosh I wish I'd come to this realization sooner. I've assured him that I still want to have sex with him, but that my motivations for it are different than his (in that I like feeling close to him, rather than wanting to explicitly feel sexual sensations, because I simply don't have them or care for them). Is there anything y'all would suggest I do to make him feel more secure? Thanks in advance.
https://redd.it/1kyazc5
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Has anyone else come across the "actuallyasexual" sub?
Don't go flocking there, they're disgusting close-minded people who will ban you for disagreeing with them.
They claim there is one way of being asexual, and that is sex repulsed and never engaging in sex, ever. That if you have sex with your partner(s) you're either not asexual, or you're being coerced and are in an abusive relationship.
I'm autistic AND have BPD and I see more colors than these people, who only see in black and white.
Sex positive asexuals exist. Asexuals who occasionally enjoy sex exist.
We are still valid regardless of what a tiny group of 3,000 people think about us.
https://redd.it/1kyiods
@asexualityonreddit
Don't go flocking there, they're disgusting close-minded people who will ban you for disagreeing with them.
They claim there is one way of being asexual, and that is sex repulsed and never engaging in sex, ever. That if you have sex with your partner(s) you're either not asexual, or you're being coerced and are in an abusive relationship.
I'm autistic AND have BPD and I see more colors than these people, who only see in black and white.
Sex positive asexuals exist. Asexuals who occasionally enjoy sex exist.
We are still valid regardless of what a tiny group of 3,000 people think about us.
https://redd.it/1kyiods
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"Temporary asexuality" or just healing? Trying to make sense of my current state
'Sup, y'all?
I stumbled across this subreddit while trying to make sense of something I’ve been experiencing lately. For context: I’m not dating, not hooking up, and not particularly interested in anything romantic or sexual right now. It’s not because I hate sex or people—I'm just… off the grid in that department.
I’m coming out of a 25-year toxic marriage where I spent most of my life performing—sexually, emotionally, socially—trying to be who someone else needed me to be. In the seventeen months since the divorce, I’ve been reclaiming my identity, exploring my neurodivergence (ADHD + autism), and embracing my queerness (pansexual). Somewhere in all that, I've all but completely stopped feeling desire. And honestly? It feels peaceful...like I’ve entered a sacred hermit phase.
So I’ve been wondering: is this what some people mean by temporary asexuality? Or is it more like conscious celibacy? My libido’s almost completely quiet, but it doesn’t feel forced or repressed. I’m just not particularly interested—and that feels like the most authentic I’ve ever been.
Anyone else experience this kind of shift? Did it last? Did you start identifying as ace, or was it more of a phase tied to healing or transition?
I'm curious to hear other perspectives. Thanks for reading!
https://redd.it/1kykjgm
@asexualityonreddit
'Sup, y'all?
I stumbled across this subreddit while trying to make sense of something I’ve been experiencing lately. For context: I’m not dating, not hooking up, and not particularly interested in anything romantic or sexual right now. It’s not because I hate sex or people—I'm just… off the grid in that department.
I’m coming out of a 25-year toxic marriage where I spent most of my life performing—sexually, emotionally, socially—trying to be who someone else needed me to be. In the seventeen months since the divorce, I’ve been reclaiming my identity, exploring my neurodivergence (ADHD + autism), and embracing my queerness (pansexual). Somewhere in all that, I've all but completely stopped feeling desire. And honestly? It feels peaceful...like I’ve entered a sacred hermit phase.
So I’ve been wondering: is this what some people mean by temporary asexuality? Or is it more like conscious celibacy? My libido’s almost completely quiet, but it doesn’t feel forced or repressed. I’m just not particularly interested—and that feels like the most authentic I’ve ever been.
Anyone else experience this kind of shift? Did it last? Did you start identifying as ace, or was it more of a phase tied to healing or transition?
I'm curious to hear other perspectives. Thanks for reading!
https://redd.it/1kykjgm
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The ace number. 96
Well noticing usage of 69 etc I decided to make the moniker RacyAcy96 then realized it's a wonderful representative number for ace spectrum and fun signaling.
https://redd.it/1kyn0tw
@asexualityonreddit
Well noticing usage of 69 etc I decided to make the moniker RacyAcy96 then realized it's a wonderful representative number for ace spectrum and fun signaling.
https://redd.it/1kyn0tw
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Confused about my sexuality, and it keeps bothering me from time to time
This is gonna be a huge text, sorry. 25M, “basically” a virgin. I think i have a normal libido, but I lack something to pursue sex. A few years ago, someone suggested I might be demisexual, but I wasn’t convinced. I spent many months trying to understand my sexuality and I ended up thinking: “Okay, I don’t get myself, but I’m at peace with that.” Well, at least I thought I was, but as I said, it keeps bothering me
I did therapy for about a year, worked through a lot of personal issues that have connection with that, but I never managed to bring up sexually itself to therapy. It feels hard to talk about it, specially because of one specific thing (the thing that's marked as spoiler)
What confuses me the most is how my emotional and sexual attractions rarely align. Here’s some context:
This may be unconfortable for some people. >!Around age 10 I had sexual experiences with my cousin C (F) who was also a child. It wasn’t abuse, we were both just exploring.!< At 15\~16, I started feeling both emotional and sexual attraction to her. That attraction comes and goes, but she’s one of the very few people I’ve felt both emotional AND sexual attraction. Of course, nothing ever happened and never will, she's not an option;
Around 14, I had a crush on a school friend S (F). We were close emotionally, but I don’t remember having any sexual attraction to her. I got so sad when I saw that we couldn't be together;
Around 16\~17, I had a brief interest in A (F). I was attracted to her at first sight, but it wasn’t sexual, it was just a spark for no reason. We talked for less than a week because the interest faded quickly;
At 19, I became very close to N (F) during a rough period in my life, I can say I loved her (not in a sexual way, we never had sex actually). We connected really fast. I thought it was something strong, but after a bad date, we stopped talking. Looking back, I think my lack of sexual attraction for her contributed to the date going awful. At the end, I was more hurt by the emotional loss than anything else;
Between 20\~21, I started questioning my sexuality. It bothered me that my emotional and sexual attractions didn’t align. Sometimes I felt occasional sexual attraction to other women, but it was weak and faded quickly, that desire wasn’t strong enough to act on. I didn’t want to connect emotionally, get to know them, or something else, so the same thing always happened: I didn’t approach them, or I tried and get bored, and the attraction dies. It was like being thirsty, but only wanting water, and there’s no water around. Besides that, I craved to reconnect to N, but there wasn't a sexual motivation behind that;
At 23, I developed an interest in someone new T (F), a coworker. It started like it did with A, my brain just lit up and I had an urge to get to know and get close to her, not in a sexual way. We started talking and get a little close, and sexual attraction eventually showed up too. That was a relief. Unfortunately, life got hard for both of us, and she eventually shut down contact before we could get close enough. Someday I will try to reconnect to her
That disconnect between emotional and sexual attraction is the thing that bothers me most. I’m not repulsed by sex, I feel sexual desire regularly, I actually want to have sex, just not with most people. Besides C (not an option) and T (no contact), I don't feel like having sex with anyone, even tough sometimes I feel sexually attracted to other people
I feel like my emotional attraction is very strong (e.g. S, N, T). My sexual attraction is weak (C and T are exceptions). And they don't match
Thanks for reading. Any thoughts or similar experiences are welcome.
https://redd.it/1kyqqce
@asexualityonreddit
This is gonna be a huge text, sorry. 25M, “basically” a virgin. I think i have a normal libido, but I lack something to pursue sex. A few years ago, someone suggested I might be demisexual, but I wasn’t convinced. I spent many months trying to understand my sexuality and I ended up thinking: “Okay, I don’t get myself, but I’m at peace with that.” Well, at least I thought I was, but as I said, it keeps bothering me
I did therapy for about a year, worked through a lot of personal issues that have connection with that, but I never managed to bring up sexually itself to therapy. It feels hard to talk about it, specially because of one specific thing (the thing that's marked as spoiler)
What confuses me the most is how my emotional and sexual attractions rarely align. Here’s some context:
This may be unconfortable for some people. >!Around age 10 I had sexual experiences with my cousin C (F) who was also a child. It wasn’t abuse, we were both just exploring.!< At 15\~16, I started feeling both emotional and sexual attraction to her. That attraction comes and goes, but she’s one of the very few people I’ve felt both emotional AND sexual attraction. Of course, nothing ever happened and never will, she's not an option;
Around 14, I had a crush on a school friend S (F). We were close emotionally, but I don’t remember having any sexual attraction to her. I got so sad when I saw that we couldn't be together;
Around 16\~17, I had a brief interest in A (F). I was attracted to her at first sight, but it wasn’t sexual, it was just a spark for no reason. We talked for less than a week because the interest faded quickly;
At 19, I became very close to N (F) during a rough period in my life, I can say I loved her (not in a sexual way, we never had sex actually). We connected really fast. I thought it was something strong, but after a bad date, we stopped talking. Looking back, I think my lack of sexual attraction for her contributed to the date going awful. At the end, I was more hurt by the emotional loss than anything else;
Between 20\~21, I started questioning my sexuality. It bothered me that my emotional and sexual attractions didn’t align. Sometimes I felt occasional sexual attraction to other women, but it was weak and faded quickly, that desire wasn’t strong enough to act on. I didn’t want to connect emotionally, get to know them, or something else, so the same thing always happened: I didn’t approach them, or I tried and get bored, and the attraction dies. It was like being thirsty, but only wanting water, and there’s no water around. Besides that, I craved to reconnect to N, but there wasn't a sexual motivation behind that;
At 23, I developed an interest in someone new T (F), a coworker. It started like it did with A, my brain just lit up and I had an urge to get to know and get close to her, not in a sexual way. We started talking and get a little close, and sexual attraction eventually showed up too. That was a relief. Unfortunately, life got hard for both of us, and she eventually shut down contact before we could get close enough. Someday I will try to reconnect to her
That disconnect between emotional and sexual attraction is the thing that bothers me most. I’m not repulsed by sex, I feel sexual desire regularly, I actually want to have sex, just not with most people. Besides C (not an option) and T (no contact), I don't feel like having sex with anyone, even tough sometimes I feel sexually attracted to other people
I feel like my emotional attraction is very strong (e.g. S, N, T). My sexual attraction is weak (C and T are exceptions). And they don't match
Thanks for reading. Any thoughts or similar experiences are welcome.
https://redd.it/1kyqqce
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Question for the aro aces
So I’m aware that some people are aromantic and asexual, I’m just wondering what being aro ace is like and where you draw the line? Like can you enter a relationship as an aro ace or are you always shut off to romance in general? Or is it dependent on the individual? Please let me know I’m interested!
https://redd.it/1kytu5u
@asexualityonreddit
So I’m aware that some people are aromantic and asexual, I’m just wondering what being aro ace is like and where you draw the line? Like can you enter a relationship as an aro ace or are you always shut off to romance in general? Or is it dependent on the individual? Please let me know I’m interested!
https://redd.it/1kytu5u
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Queerphobic people are such hypocrites
TW: sensitive topic (tw because I don't know how to do the thing where you hide text with black box)
Ok so this isn't ace-specific, and rather applies to all sexual/romantic minorities but I thought I'd put it here since I'm on the ace-spectrum.
I hate it when straight people argue that gay people are trying to turn other people gay (like no they're not??? They just wanna live their life with equal rights WTF) and even if they were, people wouldn't be able to "turn" gay without the "gay gene". Like there's NOTHING wrong with being gay/ect. so why you so mad even if somebody 'turned' gay..???
And here comes the hypocrite-part: straight people are trying to convert other people into being straight!! And this isn't even a conspiracy theory or some kind of rumour/lie/ect.ect., IT'S THE LITERAL F*CKING TRUTH. **Conversion therapy** literally exists. Wtf!? They're such hypocrites honestly.
https://redd.it/1kyx7fu
@asexualityonreddit
TW: sensitive topic (tw because I don't know how to do the thing where you hide text with black box)
Ok so this isn't ace-specific, and rather applies to all sexual/romantic minorities but I thought I'd put it here since I'm on the ace-spectrum.
I hate it when straight people argue that gay people are trying to turn other people gay (like no they're not??? They just wanna live their life with equal rights WTF) and even if they were, people wouldn't be able to "turn" gay without the "gay gene". Like there's NOTHING wrong with being gay/ect. so why you so mad even if somebody 'turned' gay..???
And here comes the hypocrite-part: straight people are trying to convert other people into being straight!! And this isn't even a conspiracy theory or some kind of rumour/lie/ect.ect., IT'S THE LITERAL F*CKING TRUTH. **Conversion therapy** literally exists. Wtf!? They're such hypocrites honestly.
https://redd.it/1kyx7fu
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