if this is me having a savior complex because I'm okay without a relationship and probably don't want one in the first place, but seeing what I view as unhealthy at best and coercion at worst being so normalized and sex-aversion being treated as a choice instead of something that's a part of someone's identity made me feel like we aren't doing enough to combat this line of thinking.
To clarify, I'm not saying sex-favorable asexuals being happy to please their partner or for any other reason (kink, physical sensations, etc.) is an issue. I'm talking about asexuals who don't like it but are expected to challenge their boundaries for the sake of a relationship. I'm also not saying that allosexuals who need sex to be happy should be forcibly kept in relationships that make them unhappy.
I would like more support for people who, for whatever reason (or no reason at all) don't want sex and that it's not selfish to want boundaries to be respected or to have boundaries at all. That guilt and obligation are not good reasons to have sex or do anything intimate with a partner and that sex isn't the same as doing the dishes. That having sex with someone who's uncomfortable with it and only consents out of obligation is much more selfish than refusing to have sex in the first place. That it's better to not be in a relationship than in one that's incompatible. There's so much pressure on people to get into relationships in the first place just to be in one followed by the pressure to have sex because "that's what you do" outside of any communities. I wish we could focus more on that pressure instead of going on and on about how asexuals can have sex if they want to please their partners.
https://redd.it/sa2mty
@asexualityonreddit
To clarify, I'm not saying sex-favorable asexuals being happy to please their partner or for any other reason (kink, physical sensations, etc.) is an issue. I'm talking about asexuals who don't like it but are expected to challenge their boundaries for the sake of a relationship. I'm also not saying that allosexuals who need sex to be happy should be forcibly kept in relationships that make them unhappy.
I would like more support for people who, for whatever reason (or no reason at all) don't want sex and that it's not selfish to want boundaries to be respected or to have boundaries at all. That guilt and obligation are not good reasons to have sex or do anything intimate with a partner and that sex isn't the same as doing the dishes. That having sex with someone who's uncomfortable with it and only consents out of obligation is much more selfish than refusing to have sex in the first place. That it's better to not be in a relationship than in one that's incompatible. There's so much pressure on people to get into relationships in the first place just to be in one followed by the pressure to have sex because "that's what you do" outside of any communities. I wish we could focus more on that pressure instead of going on and on about how asexuals can have sex if they want to please their partners.
https://redd.it/sa2mty
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
I'm disappointed (in the community?) (rant about compulsory sexuality)
I will probably mute this because I'm not looking for discourse, I just need to get this out of my head after I sadly wasted a lot of time...
Does anyone else think that Rapunzel from Tangled might be asexual?
If you watch the movie, she doesn't care that Eugene/Flynn is supposedly sexy, he gives her the "smolder" which, judging by his reaction when Raps doesn't care, usually works on women. She finally falls for him once they get to know each other, which is what I imagine romantic attraction is like. She also never looks at another person throughout the movie or series. She also wears purple.
https://preview.redd.it/w4ris93029d81.png?width=804&format=png&auto=webp&s=18e4a8d1eb3ab67775192e8db9347555c9f1fb19
https://redd.it/sa3oo7
@asexualityonreddit
If you watch the movie, she doesn't care that Eugene/Flynn is supposedly sexy, he gives her the "smolder" which, judging by his reaction when Raps doesn't care, usually works on women. She finally falls for him once they get to know each other, which is what I imagine romantic attraction is like. She also never looks at another person throughout the movie or series. She also wears purple.
https://preview.redd.it/w4ris93029d81.png?width=804&format=png&auto=webp&s=18e4a8d1eb3ab67775192e8db9347555c9f1fb19
https://redd.it/sa3oo7
@asexualityonreddit
I have a very crude sense of humor and I had to stop making certain jokes around some people I came out to cause they would question me about it lmao
https://redd.it/safhme
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/safhme
@asexualityonreddit
How you Identify is Valid
I hope this post reaches you if you need it.
If you are struggling with your identify, as ace or aro or anything else, I just want to let you know that however you decide to identify (or not, you don't even have to label yourself) is valid.
As long as YOU are comfortable identifying as X, then YOU ARE X. You are the only one who knows how you feel. You are the only one who has lived in your body and lived your life. You don't need to prove to us, anyone else, or even yourself, that you are X. If X feels right to you, even just in this moment, you can take the identity of X. Tomorrow, or in an hour, if X doesn't feel right anymore, then maybe you aren't X and that is okay. Discovering yourself will never be a linear journey and I don't believe it'll ever end. It's just a matter of getting to a place where you feel the most comfortable with yourself.
You are ace. / You are aro. / You are X
DM me if you need someone to tell you that.
P.S. X is not an actual sexual identity, it's a sexual identity place-holder :P
https://redd.it/safdcm
@asexualityonreddit
I hope this post reaches you if you need it.
If you are struggling with your identify, as ace or aro or anything else, I just want to let you know that however you decide to identify (or not, you don't even have to label yourself) is valid.
As long as YOU are comfortable identifying as X, then YOU ARE X. You are the only one who knows how you feel. You are the only one who has lived in your body and lived your life. You don't need to prove to us, anyone else, or even yourself, that you are X. If X feels right to you, even just in this moment, you can take the identity of X. Tomorrow, or in an hour, if X doesn't feel right anymore, then maybe you aren't X and that is okay. Discovering yourself will never be a linear journey and I don't believe it'll ever end. It's just a matter of getting to a place where you feel the most comfortable with yourself.
You are ace. / You are aro. / You are X
DM me if you need someone to tell you that.
P.S. X is not an actual sexual identity, it's a sexual identity place-holder :P
https://redd.it/safdcm
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
How you Identify is Valid
I hope this post reaches you if you need it. If you are struggling with your identify, as ace or aro or anything else, I just want to let you...
Media is too big
VIEW IN TELEGRAM
God this guy is a mood! Lets make him our unofficial mascot! All I felt watching this was asexual vibes!
https://redd.it/saobuq
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/saobuq
@asexualityonreddit
Where do you actually live?
Curious to see if there are any other martian asexuals currently dealing with both the dust storms and a lack of sexual attraction.
View Poll
https://redd.it/salufb
@asexualityonreddit
Curious to see if there are any other martian asexuals currently dealing with both the dust storms and a lack of sexual attraction.
View Poll
https://redd.it/salufb
@asexualityonreddit