I just got the most kind and respectful reaction I’ve ever gotten to coming out as ace
I (19 F) was at my college and this guy struck up a conversation with me. I actually don’t know him that well, only spoken to him in passing a few times. I’m not quite sure how we got on the topic, but he started asking me if I had a boyfriend or if hot guys were hitting on me. Honestly, I think he was probably trying to gauge if he had a chance with me. He’s kind of the “player” type guy who talks to a lot of girls and dates casually a lot. I’m pretty physically attractive, much to my annoyance sometimes.
Anyway, he was pressing me like “oooo are there guys here you find hot, is it so-and-so, etc etc” and I was getting more and more flustered, so I just blurted out “I’m gonna tell you something. I’m ace.” I’m pretty open about my sexual orientation at school and with friends in general so I didn’t have a problem with coming out to him.
He stopped, thought a minute, and said “okay that’s cool, my sister is ace”. Then he did something nobody has ever done before. He started asking me about it. The mood of the conversation, and his manner, suddenly changed. He asked if I would date. I said yes, but the physical attraction isn’t there. He said “ okay I understand. But emotionally…”
“Yes”
“Okay. So you’re ace but are you just bi too or…”
“I’m asexual heteroromantic “ (I stumbled over the word ‘hetetoromantic’ because I had never said it aloud before lol)
“So, guys?”
“Yeah. I know it’s probably a little hard to understand…”
“Cool cool. No I get it, my sister is in the same boat. You’re good.”
Then we just started talking about dating and being single in general.
I have come out in-person to other friends, and most of them have been accepting. But nobody has ever taken the time to ask respectful questions about it, and nobody has automatically understood the difference between sexual and romantic attraction. I was afraid, being the type of guy he is, that he would be all like "you just need to get laid/you haven't found the right guy/I can fix it" but instead I was pleasantly surprised by how respectful and understanding he was.
https://redd.it/pv83bu
@asexualityonreddit
I (19 F) was at my college and this guy struck up a conversation with me. I actually don’t know him that well, only spoken to him in passing a few times. I’m not quite sure how we got on the topic, but he started asking me if I had a boyfriend or if hot guys were hitting on me. Honestly, I think he was probably trying to gauge if he had a chance with me. He’s kind of the “player” type guy who talks to a lot of girls and dates casually a lot. I’m pretty physically attractive, much to my annoyance sometimes.
Anyway, he was pressing me like “oooo are there guys here you find hot, is it so-and-so, etc etc” and I was getting more and more flustered, so I just blurted out “I’m gonna tell you something. I’m ace.” I’m pretty open about my sexual orientation at school and with friends in general so I didn’t have a problem with coming out to him.
He stopped, thought a minute, and said “okay that’s cool, my sister is ace”. Then he did something nobody has ever done before. He started asking me about it. The mood of the conversation, and his manner, suddenly changed. He asked if I would date. I said yes, but the physical attraction isn’t there. He said “ okay I understand. But emotionally…”
“Yes”
“Okay. So you’re ace but are you just bi too or…”
“I’m asexual heteroromantic “ (I stumbled over the word ‘hetetoromantic’ because I had never said it aloud before lol)
“So, guys?”
“Yeah. I know it’s probably a little hard to understand…”
“Cool cool. No I get it, my sister is in the same boat. You’re good.”
Then we just started talking about dating and being single in general.
I have come out in-person to other friends, and most of them have been accepting. But nobody has ever taken the time to ask respectful questions about it, and nobody has automatically understood the difference between sexual and romantic attraction. I was afraid, being the type of guy he is, that he would be all like "you just need to get laid/you haven't found the right guy/I can fix it" but instead I was pleasantly surprised by how respectful and understanding he was.
https://redd.it/pv83bu
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
I just got the most kind and respectful reaction I’ve ever gotten...
I (19 F) was at my college and this guy struck up a conversation with me. I actually don’t know him that well, only spoken to him in passing a few...
Dunno if she did it cause of the specific groom, or she didn't want to marry in general, or a bunch of other possibilities other than being ace. But I like her. Legally, she has a point: "people may not be forced to marry" + "killing to stop rape is okay" = "No means no. Don't make me end y'all."
https://redd.it/pv9m0t
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/pv9m0t
@asexualityonreddit
gonna give a girl my eggplant with sauce if you catch my drift 😉😏
https://redd.it/pvis19
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/pvis19
@asexualityonreddit
Was going to the mall and this beanie caught my eye. Halloween is Ace, confirmed
https://redd.it/pvhn1b
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/pvhn1b
@asexualityonreddit
My boyfriend got mad at me for being ace
We've been together for a few years, and we do have sex. I recently realised that while I do enjoy sex, I dont experience sexual attraction/really care about anything else than the physical sensations of sex. I came out to him and now he's offended, because I dont find him sexually attractive/hot. I said I dont feel that way about anyone, but he still feels like I've lied to him throughout the relationship, that I'm just using him as a way to masturbate. I told him he's being a dick and now he wont talk to me....
https://redd.it/pvifqy
@asexualityonreddit
We've been together for a few years, and we do have sex. I recently realised that while I do enjoy sex, I dont experience sexual attraction/really care about anything else than the physical sensations of sex. I came out to him and now he's offended, because I dont find him sexually attractive/hot. I said I dont feel that way about anyone, but he still feels like I've lied to him throughout the relationship, that I'm just using him as a way to masturbate. I told him he's being a dick and now he wont talk to me....
https://redd.it/pvifqy
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
My boyfriend got mad at me for being ace
We've been together for a few years, and we do have sex. I recently realised that while I do enjoy sex, I dont experience sexual attraction/really...
Hello everyone! I make these rings with my own hands. What do you think about this?
https://redd.it/pvod68
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/pvod68
@asexualityonreddit
My bf probably falls under the Asexual umbrella and I'm allo. Advice for how to communicate about emotional+physical needs as well as attraction would be lovely.
My bf is a lovely person and I'm trying to piece together their sexuality and their needs for both of our benefit. He is in his early/mid 20s and I am his first SO and he hasn't thought much on the topic. I'm someone with a high libido but I can mostly handle myself with that as long as I get emotional attention in other ways. That said I can't say I'm afraid that I'm not romantically or physically attractive to my SO at some points which is probably just me being nervous for no reason. What would be some things that yall would say on this? What would be some reasonable expectations for me to have in this sort of relationship physically and emotionally? As an allo person I definitely don't experience things the same.
https://redd.it/pvs726
@asexualityonreddit
My bf is a lovely person and I'm trying to piece together their sexuality and their needs for both of our benefit. He is in his early/mid 20s and I am his first SO and he hasn't thought much on the topic. I'm someone with a high libido but I can mostly handle myself with that as long as I get emotional attention in other ways. That said I can't say I'm afraid that I'm not romantically or physically attractive to my SO at some points which is probably just me being nervous for no reason. What would be some things that yall would say on this? What would be some reasonable expectations for me to have in this sort of relationship physically and emotionally? As an allo person I definitely don't experience things the same.
https://redd.it/pvs726
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
My bf probably falls under the Asexual umbrella and I'm allo....
My bf is a lovely person and I'm trying to piece together their sexuality and their needs for both of our benefit. He is in his early/mid 20s and...
Sick of being called “innocent”
It just really bothers me when people call me “innocent” or “pure” just cuz I’m pretty sex averse most of the time. Like, I still know how it works and everything I just don’t like discussing it cuz it makes me feel uncomfortable most of the time. It’s not like I’m some cluesless kid who needs to be protected I’m just not interested. People seem to thinks it cute or something and it really rubs me the wrong way.
https://redd.it/pvuaqf
@asexualityonreddit
It just really bothers me when people call me “innocent” or “pure” just cuz I’m pretty sex averse most of the time. Like, I still know how it works and everything I just don’t like discussing it cuz it makes me feel uncomfortable most of the time. It’s not like I’m some cluesless kid who needs to be protected I’m just not interested. People seem to thinks it cute or something and it really rubs me the wrong way.
https://redd.it/pvuaqf
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
Sick of being called “innocent”
It just really bothers me when people call me “innocent” or “pure” just cuz I’m pretty sex averse most of the time. Like, I still know how it...