Ace vibes

https://redd.it/ppez48
@asexualityonreddit

"I wish you would have been a lesbian instead!"

I'll keep this pretty short, but I wanted to vent a bit to others who understand.

I was having a conversation with my mom, and after I told her I don't feel sexually attracted to anyone, I don't really enjoy sexual interaction, and would rather not engage in it often, she goes "Oh god, I wish you would have been a lesbian instead!" (Some background to that, because I knew I was Ace in highschool, I didn't date anyone which led to a rumor I was a lesbian.) Then later in the conversation, she said, "Maybe you could see a therapist or try hormones" and "Maybe you should try being on top instead", and previously she suggested I get drunk or high to feel sexual attraction to my past partners. She only stopped and then said it was a joke, after I teared up.

She knows I identify as Ace, and I know that she enjoys sex, but I don't understand how she could have such an adverse reaction at the thought of having a child that doesn't want to have sex. It makes me feel like I'm inherently broken just by not feeling sexual attraction to others. I love my mom very much, her and I are very close (which is why I know about her drive for sexual pleasure), I just hope that after this she realizes there is nothing wrong with not wanting sex.

Thanks for listening, y'all.

https://redd.it/ppirxg
@asexualityonreddit

Trying to come out to my allo boyfriend - this did not go well...

I guess I could really need some relationship advice...
So, I realized I was asexual while being in a relationship.
That's not necessarily a problem but I noticed I would be much happier in a relationship without any (or less) sexual interaction, beginning with kissing.
I also would like to tell my boyfriend that I'm asexual, so he can understand me better and it's just a part of me.
I was asking him about how he experiences sexual attraction and told him that I don't really experience sexual attraction, but I think he didn't really get what I meant with that.

The other day we were discussing if you can be in a relationship with a person when you are not sexually attracted to them. He said that wouldn't make sense because you have to want to have sex with that person/want to see them naked (in order to have sex).
I told him that you could just not have sex in a relationship.
He was confused, that would be unnatural and what would be the difference to a friendship?
I told him you could still love a person and explained him the difference between sexual attraction and romantic attraction.
But he just kept saying that not feeling sexual attraction to someone/not wanting to have sex with them is unnatural and "mechanic/like a machine"?!?
I should stop talking about that stuff because it was making him insecure.
I felt really hurt by all of that and I also didn't feel comfortable to come out to him.
I really like him but now I feel like this won't work because he said such aphobic things.

When it comes to sex, at first I just put pressure on myself, because I didn't understand how I could like someone and not wanting to have sex with them, kiss them etc... I do feel repulsed by genitals, naked bodies, fluids and often sex in general but try to push that aside to make this work (also the physical stimulation can feel good sometimes).
Now I feel more often comfortable to say no or just take his hands off of me to show him I'm not okay with having sex at the moment. Even though he says "Yeah okay" and stops for a bit he keeps pushing until I "give in".

He recently just said that when "I turn around in bed saying no, he feels like it's a challenge". This really shocked me and is so wrong because I was just complaining how guys often don't understand a No and try to "keep fighting for a girl" which is just stupid.
I do get that we are in a relationship but that doesn't really excuse ignoring what I'm not okay with.

Do you have any ideas how I could still make this relationship work or what I could do in this situation? It would probably be best breaking up but it just seems so impossible to break up with someone you love and I don't want to hurt him😔

https://redd.it/ppjk0u
@asexualityonreddit

A metaphor I just used to my allo friend

I'm a gray-ace virgin. My allo friend and I were talking about sex positivity, and how she thinks it's something everyone should enjoy. I came up with this metaphor for my feelings about sex:

"I want to have sex like you want to visit New York or see Mt. Rushmore or the Golden Gate Bridge. Sure, someday sounds cool, hopefully you get a chance, could be fun, but it's not really an immediate priority. I wouldn't go out of my way."

She hasn't responded yet, but does this match anybody else's feelings?

https://redd.it/ppn6yj
@asexualityonreddit

Rule
https://redd.it/ppm9sw
@asexualityonreddit

I just told my mom i'm asexual

I always wanted to come out to my mom, but I was afraid to at first because I live in a catholic family. But today before my mom had to take a shower I told her "Would you be mad If I told you my sexuality?" and she said "No, tell me." then I said "asexual" then she said "Ok." with a big smile on her face. Then I told her why i'm asexual, and she told me "You don't have to have sex in your life." After I was born, her and my dad probably agreed to never have sex again.

https://redd.it/pppwed
@asexualityonreddit

Is Kissing Sexual And Or Romantic?

Ok I'm doing a redo on this poll because I was made aware I should of added a both option.

View Poll

https://redd.it/ppq2pv
@asexualityonreddit

We do it better
https://redd.it/ppqhcy
@asexualityonreddit

Told my coworker I wanted garlic bread, so she brought me garlic bread. It's the ace things they don't understand
https://redd.it/ppqkos
@asexualityonreddit

my sister bought me flag for my brithday

https://redd.it/pps815
@asexualityonreddit

We need our own bars

I wish there were ace bars! Everyone else seems to have their own bars, so where are the bars for people that don’t want to flirt with people? What do all of you want in a ace bar

https://redd.it/ppr9y2
@asexualityonreddit

I think "you haven't had good sex yet." Is just as annoying as "you haven't met the right person."

I have gotten both things said to me but the haven't had good sex yet is more annoying in my opinion. I have opened up to people, not alot but when I have explained I don't get physical pleasure from partnered sex I'm met with the good sex comment.

I also hate how alot of women I talk to they seem to believe that the men I had sex with have to go down on me. My step sister told me that one guy I messed around with was a guy who cares about female pleasure because he gave me oral but for me deep down I feel it's not right to say that about a person, that they care about my pleasure all because he wanted to go down on me. Men who don't like to give oral also care about their partners pleasure, it's just that they don't like a popular sex act. They are valid. Yes they are selfish lovers in the world but it's like people forget that not everyone likes to give certain sex acts along with receiving certain sex acts. If someone is honest about that and if the other person wants a certain thing to be done and not being sexually fullfilled then they can leave. No one is wrong on either side. I get that lots of women can't reach orgasms with just intercourse.


I never felt physical pleasure from partnered sex which THAT is what led me walking down the path of discovering asexuality and the different types. I know aces can enjoy the feeling of sex so I get craving sexual release. I'm a bit aegosexual myself as well so I love porn and I have only had a romantic/sexual attraction to a actor, never anyone in real life. So I've been thinking I'm a gray aro ace with a little bit of aegosexual.

I seem to have a love/hate feelings toward sex. I crave sexual release but partnered sex is not fullfilling for me. Sex terrifies me in a way too because of the pregnancy risk. It just seems to un appealing. The whole ejaculating inside absolutely freaks me out, in the past being sexual with guys I was always worried about that and I think for that reason alone I can't be as close to men sexually but I don't have sex anymore and it's freeing. I just hope I can find another aro ace and we can be life partners and bestfriends.

https://redd.it/ppr6pz
@asexualityonreddit

Being Double A:
https://redd.it/ppokfu
@asexualityonreddit

just came out to my parents, didn't go well

so i was talking to my mother about moving out of the house with a female friend of mine (im agender but she doesn't know that) and she insisted that we must be dating despite me repeatedly saying we weren't, and that we didn't plan to be. it got to the point that i decided to be upfront about it and just tell her i was aro/ace and explain what it meant, to which she replied "what if you meet The Right Person(TM)" i tried explaining that that's not how it works, but eventually my father got involved and he basically told me that i was being stupid and that i'd find someone eventually who i "couldn't live without" despite the fact that i already have that person, and they're the one im moving in with, but we're not romantic

https://redd.it/ppr6h4
@asexualityonreddit

just wanted to share this funny "accidentally allo" moment i had when i was little

so i was a pretty innocent and naive 9 year old. i didn't know any swear words, slang, or any of this sexual vocab that my classmates seemed to all know.

in thai class i sat next to a boy and a girl who were sort of "popular" because they knew "grown up terms" (aka the sexual vocabs i was talking about earlier). i'm not sure how exactly they got onto this topic but somehow they started talking about "banging" and being the naive little kid i was back then, i thought it just meant to crash into, or to hit, etc. i was a lot less shy back then so i kicked the boy lightly under the table and said confidentially "i banged sam". they laughed and i was a bit confused but i laughed with them. a few days later when we had the class again i did it again because baby me never learns. after about 2 weeks of this, i think they realised that i didnt know what the word meant so they explained to me and i was so embarrassed. thinking back now, its pretty hilarious.

https://redd.it/ppqymc
@asexualityonreddit

my heart empty save for garlic bread and cute birds.
https://redd.it/ppwql9
@asexualityonreddit

Idk if this has been posted here before but here ya go.
https://redd.it/ppysfj
@asexualityonreddit

My stepdad changed his mind on asexuality! :D

TW Past aphobia

So a few years ago i tried coming out to my stepdad, but decided to test the waters by asking him what he thought. Back then, he said that its impossible, that everyone falls in love and has sex eventually, and that its just a way of fooling yourself because youre lonely. It obviously made me really sad, and i decided not to come out to him.

A few years after that, i came out to my mom, who was pretty accepting after the initial confusion. I dont know if she told him or not, however.

Well yesterday, me and my stepdad were talking about the show Sex Education. I mentioned that while im not interested in the show at all, that it has asexual representation and that that makes me really happy. He smiled and agreed with me, saying he hasnt seen it in media before and that he thinks its awesome to see. I felt really happy and came out as asexual, and he said its cool and we carried on.

Im really happy about this, and kind of proud of him too, for keeping his mind open!

https://redd.it/ppzkds
@asexualityonreddit

Join the Void
https://redd.it/pq0kwk
@asexualityonreddit

What does being asexual add to your life?

Time for a thread of positivity folks. What does being asexual add to your life? I’m assuming most things written here will be things that allosexuals can experience too, but what do you feel your asexuality gives you?

https://redd.it/ppzvw2
@asexualityonreddit