hi guys I just came out in a extremely religious household

finally got my parents to accept me for the first time and I’m kind of surprised 🤷🏻‍♀️



I‘m a 14 year old asexual girl.



Story time :



I hit puberty really young and you know how teenagers go crazy and sexual and shit but I just completely lacked sexual attraction ever since I was 9 for whatever reason and I’ve been suspecting it for a while. Lacking sexual attraction was high-key depressing for me knowing that I’ll never be able to experience it. I grew up in an extremely religious household so I didn’t know how my parents would react and that only fed my sadness and worries. Eventually, 5 years later I couldn’t stand it anymore, and confronted my parents at the dinner table. I was genuinely cringing as they continued to lecture me about God nd blah blah blah whatever I’m not too serious about religion like they are... They were honestly in disbelief like… yes… it was obvious... Had to tell them what it means to be ace and they bashfully accepted it. Woo-hoo I guess, wasn’t expecting it but hey atleast I get to express myself 😁

https://redd.it/1n15szd
@asexualityonreddit

I hate how everything is a “fetish”

the internet culture and consensus is that the stuff i liked when i was a kid needs to mandatorily be fetishized and sexualized. i don’t like to kink shame people but it’s extremely frustrating to be unable to draw comfort art without someone treating it like a fetish. People would regularly say incredibly creepy stuff about my vent and comfort art when i was a minor and now if i try to draw what makes me happy people react as if i’ve drawn porn and it’s really fucking disgusting.

This has definitely contributed to my overall sex negativity/sex repulsion but it is genuinely triggering to me how much the internet feels a need to make everything about sex. If you’re the kind of person who gets off to the stuff i found comfort in as a child, fine, but do not project that onto me or onto literal children just trying to enjoy things. it gets to the point where even just involving children in the things that i liked to do as a child is some horrible thing and it’s like. jesus christ im so sick of horny people projecting their shit onto everything else. keep your fetishes to yourself and don’t assume just because someone enjoys something you happen to get off to means they also get off to it.

https://redd.it/1n1mnem
@asexualityonreddit

any italian ace / aroace people here?

hi y'all, I'm 21F and I live near Piacenza in emilia-romagna, I'm looking for some fellow ace / aroace people that live near me or in Italy generally speaking, I'd like to chit chat about what it's like being like me here in italy but also to talk about anything and nothing really!

https://redd.it/1n1nh20
@asexualityonreddit

Romantic vs. platonic attraction who???

Does anybody else have difficulty telling the difference between romantic and platonic attraction? Knowing now that I’m on the ace spectrum and that sexual attraction doesn’t have to play a part in my relationships, it feels really ambiguous where the line is between liking someone platonically or liking them romantically. It seems like either way, it’s just me really enjoying spending time around the person and wanting to be close to them emotionally. And of course, some friendships are closer than others so it’s plausible to have stronger feelings for someone and it still be platonic. I feel like I want committed long term relationships in my life, but I know plenty of people have committed platonic partnerships as well. But if all that’s the case, then wtf actually is romantic attraction?? I’m not sure if this means I might be on the aro spectrum or if it’s just because I have alexithymia and can’t always tell my emotions apart. Can anybody else relate, and if so, how do you approach it?

https://redd.it/1n1prdp
@asexualityonreddit

Are You Aro (Advice)?

**Hi everyone!**



Welcome to our weekly Advice post about Aromanticism! Aromantic people experience little to no romantic attraction.



**Do any of these resonate with you?**

\* You rarely (if ever) experience crushes on others.

\* You find the idea of a romantic relationship unappealing, and prefer strong platonic bonds.

\* You've been in romantic relationships but felt like you were going through the motions.

\* You've researched what crushes are "supposed" to feel like, but can't relate.



These are just a few signs you might be Aromantic. Aromanticism is a spectrum, and every person's experience is unique.



\*\*Have questions about aromanticism or your own identity?\*\* Ask away in the comments below, and we'll and your fellow Aro’s will do the best to help!

* [**More signs that you are Aro**](https://aromanticguide.com/am-i-aro)

* [**Honeymoon Phase**](https://health.clevelandclinic.org/what-is-the-honeymoon-phase)

* [**Types of attraction (might be incomplete)**](https://types-of-attraction.carrd.co/)

https://redd.it/1n1szyj
@asexualityonreddit

How did you discover you were asexual?

I've recently been heavily questioning whether I am asexual, especially since I'm about to be an adult and I sort of feel like I should be experiencing sexual attraction, but I lowkey don't? I'm not quite sure how to explain it, but I'm curious to hear y'all's perspectives to see if any of you feel the same things I do! So, like the title says, how did you discover you were asexual?

https://redd.it/1n1q8i9
@asexualityonreddit

My girlfriend is asexual and I'm not

Hi guys, I feel weird talking about that but I've got a problem. I'm really not asexual, I've experienced some sexually correlated trauma and my sexuality is pretty messed up because of that but im definitely not asexual. And the problem is that I love this one girl and I'd like to stay with her till my death, have kids and a cute house together but she's asexual and even tho I don't have a high libido and it doesn't matter to me so much if we'll have sex or not (i also wouldn't like to do it but if she wanted to, it would be okay with me) she told me that kisses don't feel good to her at all. I feel like kissing is big part of how i am intimate with someone, so much that when I think that I'll never kiss her anymore I just randomly start to feel uncomfortable and sometimes cry, does anybody know how can I do something about that?

https://redd.it/1n1ur3c
@asexualityonreddit

i am now apparently abusive for "withholding sex"

i cant do this shit anymore i think we should just break up at this point but uuuugh kill me

https://redd.it/1n1xx5w
@asexualityonreddit

Thought this was an Ace club on my campus
https://redd.it/1n1yqut
@asexualityonreddit

Being asexual is ruining my life

I wouldn't have it any other way I don't want to have sex. Sex is not something I ever want to do but all anyone wants is sex. Everyone who is interested in me just wants to have sex with me. All my friends don't understand me. They think I am weird and that's okay but I wish someone understood.
Most of my friends are people who failed to hit.
I am on the aromantic spectrum and I don't never wanted to date anyone but people don't leave me alone and they lie and say they're fine with me being asexual but few months down the line they tell me there's no love without sex. I guess I never loved anyone then and no one will ever love me.

https://redd.it/1n222ir
@asexualityonreddit

I need help navigating this and unlearning “traditional masculinity”

I’ve (24M) been on this strange, but freeing asexual journey for almost a year now. The last time I had sex was December 26, 2025. It feels like a long time, but at the same time I don’t miss it at all that I feel as though no time has passed. For a while I thought sex would be the most important thing for me (dumb I know). But I was wrong and I damaged myself so much by chasing it.

Up until about 2022 I was a virgin I spent my whole life in the church and was very sexually repressed. When I finally left at 20 I wanted the first thing to experience to be sex. And so I began to engage in hookup culture. I just about hooked up with any girl I met at bars or clubs that gave it up. I think the more I frequently hooked up the more I felt the need to prove I loved it (I did not). I began to freak out thinking there was something wrong with me, I thought I should be enjoying this more. It felt like something I’ve been waiting for a long time just let me down. I was so scared to tell anyone that I didn’t enjoy sex because all the guys around would talk about hot girls and whatnot. I thought there was something deeply wrong with me so I went to the doctor and I was fine, healthy. It killed me that I couldn’t be “normal”.

All I ever wanted was to fit in, I camouflaged myself socially to fit in with whatever group I could be part of. Never really gave it a second thought to who I am or what I wanted. I figured anything was better than being alone again. I faked everything for so long and now I began to fake things again, I developed a relationship with a girl who was terrible for me. She was always very insistent on having sex, it was quite possibly the worst situation I could be in. I did so many things that I think the average porn brained straight person would die for. I felt like I was debasing myself every time and I hated myself more and more. I was so scared to tell anyone these things because I didn’t want to complain about “living the dream”. I kept it to myself and every time to comfort myself I would think “I’m a man, I shouldn’t be complaining”. Those thoughts killed me a bit every time I spoke them to myself.

I’ve since separated myself from this girl and I’m now left with the pain and trauma of what happened. However, I still can’t shake the feeling that I’m complaining about having sex. It makes me feel like less of a man. According to my friends I’ve shaken several of the toxic masculinity traits we as Latino men are raised with, but some still stick. I’ve been battling with my masculinity lately and I hate it. I feel like how could I consider myself a man when nothing about me feels masculine. I’m not on a non-binary journey or anything like that, but I wish I was more of a man. Whatever that means. I thought I shed my skin of these gross traditions, but I’m still seeking the validation from them to prove myself something I’m not. Not sure if anyone else has any similar experiences, but if you do please I’d love to hear something, anything. I need to know if I’m doing things right or if I’m wrong, I feel very lost and this is all still new to me.

https://redd.it/1n2659a
@asexualityonreddit

huh.
https://redd.it/1n1xdig
@asexualityonreddit

How old is everyone in this group?

Just curious.

I'll go first. I'm 35.

https://redd.it/1n29i1t
@asexualityonreddit

Tired of being dismissed or not believed when explaining things simply? Say some stupid, outrageous nonsense instead!

"So you've never had a relationship? Ever? And you don't want one either?!"
"No. I took a vow of strict lifelong chastity when I was 12 and shall not break it for as long as I breathe, lest my soul be damned to burn in the deepest depths of hell for eternity."

"What do you mean you don't want to have sex? Everybody has sex, it's a basic human need!"
"I was born with a rare vaginal deformity that detects all sexual activity as a physical disease and sends signals to my stomach to violently expel everything I've eaten that day in response"

"Oh, you just haven't met the right person yet, and you're still so young! Just you wait until Mr. Right comes along and you'll change your mind, you'll see!"
"Mr. Right? He tried to kiss me once, but my gag reflex triggered a projectile vomiting session so intense it left the room smelling like decaying meat for hours. Romance for me is… complicated."

Bonus points if you can say these things with a perfect poker face on, as if you're being dead serious.

Honestly, some people won't believe you or take this orientation seriously no matter how much you bend over backwards to explain it, so wasting your time trying to isn't always worth it. It's something I've had to learn over the years. Might as well have some fun with it, if nothing else.

https://redd.it/1n274ll
@asexualityonreddit

Aroace Pixel Art Characters
https://redd.it/1n2boik
@asexualityonreddit

But like, do you get urges?
https://redd.it/1n2byln
@asexualityonreddit

Three year long relationship ended because I’m ace

My ex and I had dated for three years, until two weeks ago she broke up with me. One of the reasons was because we had never had sex. She said “I’m not ace” when I asked if it was because of sex we were breaking up. She knew going into the relationship I was ace and I told her I don’t need to have sex. I told her if she wanted to, that I would, but I didn’t need it. She didn’t ask the entire relationship, despite this and apparently it bothered her the entire time that we didn’t have sex.
It just makes me feel so shitty that I had such a good relationship ended because of sex. I really thought it was good, and now I’m doubting be in a relationship again. I don’t understand why sex is the be-all and end-all of relationships. It just hurts

https://redd.it/1n2etu1
@asexualityonreddit

Asexual, Anxious or Just Inexperienced

Hey all,

I’m a 25 year old guy- and struggling with my identity pretty hard.

I’ve always been a “don’t care for labels” person. But I was trying to meet people, and am trying to be clear in communicating how I am. I’m also pretty socially anxious so I overthink and shutdown pretty quick.

I sometimes find other guys attractive, and have only had a full on crush once (when I was 22). I’ve never been on a date and never outwardly expressed romantic or intimate feelings to a person (never held hands, called a guy cute, asked someone out etc). Thus, I’m a virgin that’s never dated.

I’m not sure if this is a product of asexuality, anxiety or inexperience.

I like the idea of dating a guy and getting married. Going on adventures, out to dinner, etc. Hypothetically, I think I’d be okay with kissing and such. I’ve never really liked being touched (I’ve got some sensory quirks) so that might be a hurdle with me.

However, I’ve never been intimate ever. So sexually speaking, I don’t particularly know if it’s something I want or not because to a certain extent, I don’t really know what it’s like.

As far as like natural urges go, I have practically none. Never masturbated, and only get randomly aroused very very rarely. I’m not sure if this is normal (or medically normal even?) but it’s how I’ve always been.

I’ve read some other threads in this subreddit, suggesting, you think someone is hot vs you want to have sex with them as the demarcation line. But in my head, I think someone is hot, but because I don’t really know what sex is like, I have no measurement. Or is it rather, I would already have some instinctive sexual attraction if I was allo?

As mentioned before- I’ve also got crippling social anxiety which fits into this. Ya boi here can’t even make friends or approach people when going out, so maybe it’s just that I’m a bit too anxious in general to let myself have these feelings?

I tried downloading some online apps with the intention of meeting people. And my experiences have been no bueno. I basically tried to make friends first, but people definitely are not looking for that, at least where I am.

I just didn’t want to mislead people until i understand my identity- but it’s a bit of a chicken and egg situation in my head.

Anyway- I know that’s a very long ramble. But I am extremely confused, and have absolutely no one in my life that understands.









https://redd.it/1n2a8a9
@asexualityonreddit

Wrong answers only: Why are you ace?
https://redd.it/1n2hn8u
@asexualityonreddit

It’s interesting noticing true arousal over dopamine/attention seeking (ADHD)

Been discovering my asexuality for a little while now and it’s really interesting truly noticing how much my hypersexual behaviour was just attention seeking from men and dopamine seeking.

I mean I always knew it on some levels but because I’ve done the work and am in a better place can properly feel it and know it on a deeper level.

It’s sort of scary but good, being true to myself more and more xxx

https://redd.it/1n2gwjs
@asexualityonreddit