deserve to be laughed at.

Honestly, it makes me mad. Maybe because I'm a 35 year-old virgin myself. I'm just mad still.

Am I wrong in being angry over this?

https://redd.it/1lz2gaf
@asexualityonreddit

So fucking hot
https://redd.it/1lz5ide
@asexualityonreddit

Feel like a looser

Hi, so i'm 20m and during my aunt's birthday i got to see my cousins and their girlfriends and i don't know why but i felt like i was missing out on something, that he had accomplished more than me even though i'm pretty sure i'm asexual and aromantique. i discovered i'm asexual very recently so is there anyone out there who has had similar experiences? i'm totally confused

https://redd.it/1lz4bqr
@asexualityonreddit

Perfect date means proper format
https://redd.it/1lz8oxm
@asexualityonreddit

DAE get uncomfy seeing others partially clothed?

Whenever I (F, asexual and sex-repulsed) see a person (in person or on a poster or something) in a swimsuit/only undergarments, I get pretty uncomfortable and look away, especially if it's a man. I don't like seeing men's chests, even though most men women probably enjoy that. I know people normally don't walk around undressed, so how I feel is reasonable to an extent, but I was just wondering if anyone else feels this way.

https://redd.it/1lz0g7n
@asexualityonreddit

Asexuality from dysphoria—do I count?

I’m a trans man with severe genital dysphoria. I have a high sex drive and always have, but because my nether regions aren’t what they should be, I have never found an enjoyable way to have sex. I love foreplay and masturbation, but sex itself depresses me a lot because it just reminds me of what I’ll never have.

My girlfriend is not asexual and I feel bad that I’m so sexually disappointing to her—she says she loves me for me and isn’t in the relationship for sex, but I can sense a pang of disappointment in her voice every time we discuss it. I really wish I could experience the passion and oneness that sex is apparently supposed to bring with her, but without male anatomy I feel like that will never happen. I’m also not satisfied with the kinds of surgeries that currently exist for people like me, and don’t have a lot of confidence that my condition will be able to be physically fixed within my lifetime.

I don’t feel like asexuality is a part of my identity, but rather just a challenge I face from what is essentially a birth defect. If I did not have this deformity, I would not be asexual, but I do and there’s nothing I can do to change it. So basically my question is… Am I asexual?

https://redd.it/1lzbd0c
@asexualityonreddit

Am I Asexual?

If you are questioning whether or not you are asexual (including all microlabels), reply to this post with what made you start questioning, and why.

If you are too shy to post a reply, then you can scroll through the responses for the advice you may be searching for.

https://redd.it/1lzcoho
@asexualityonreddit

Grant isn’t into romance either, and wants to be someone’s (platonic) one and only
https://redd.it/1lzd090
@asexualityonreddit

Ace w/ hypersexuality via trauma, but can't begin to cope with it

My world view was really limited so I didn't even understand I was Ace for a long while.
Some really unpleasant things happened.
And now bordering on compulsive very specific and realistically harmful hypersexual ideation affects me.
I feel so embarrassed by it and idk if I could even talk to anyone about it.

No chance I afford therapy and even then it would be hard to find a therapist who I feel could begin to understand / be competent to my queer, trans experience.

But simultaneously, it's scary, because I could enter a state of mind that leads me to subject myself to the harmful experience. And even with my inclination to harm reduction, my brain betrays me at times.

I just wish I could understand what I'm going through better. And that I could articulate it to some future partner without fear of ridicule or judgement, because it is stupid and I don't want this, but trauma brain makes it make "sense".

https://redd.it/1lzckdm
@asexualityonreddit

Has anyone else's attitude towards sex changed over time?

Like the title says. I feel as though I've gone from being sex indifferent to sex-adverse over time. Has anyone else experienced this or something similar?

https://redd.it/1lzeb5e
@asexualityonreddit

A Rant That’s All Over the Place…

before i get started, i did want to put a disclaimer im not fully 100% sure i am asexual, i wanted to vent about my own perception of sex and whatnot.

growing up, i felt very inclined to become a “sex symbol” im not really particularly sure where this stemmed from. i grew up as a bit on the chubbier side, i use to always compare my thigh size to other girls my age, and id always be left with a low self esteem. i began a regimen at age 12, that made me loss a bunch of weight.

eventually i entered middle school and became more comfortable with my eating habits, but as a natural result, i gained weight. i recall a guy in my grade i was very attracted to at the time called me “beefy” and when i ended up confronting him about this, he told me along the lines of my ass is fat.

so then on, i would do everything for male validation. and i wont go into extreme details, but the things i did throughout high school and middle school just are so disappointing to me in a way.

eventually, junior/senior year, i saw a lot of my female peers that i grew up with, do the exact same mannerisms as me, i could tell they were doing stuff for the male gaze, girls were leaking their own sex tapes, it reminded me how i sometimes would be glad that my explicit pics would get leaked so that i could show off my “good figure”.

eventually i began to slow down how frequently id be having sex in my last 2 years of highschool, i had this sorta realization that everyone was fucking each other and it made really how “easy access” sex was. for the record i lost my virginity at 15, so i was slightly ahead of the game, and had this big ego as a result. i really felt like i had some sort of sick mindset, id often look at other girl’s bodies and objectify them myself, like as if my mindset was the male gaze.

eventually i enrolled in college, and freshman year made me realize a whole lot. i stopped using snapchat, so as a result, i stopped “glamming up” and wearing low neck tops and crop tops, and i didn’t snap pictures of myself quite often, or even talk to a lot of guys. i felt like i wasn’t really performing anymore.

i did engage in some hookups but i began to feel so empty after these hookups. i spent time partying at frats and whatnot, and the sex culture there was horrifying. frat guys would get award belts if they had over 100+ bodies, and one guy told me how they brought a 50 year old stripper would claimed she had a 1000 bodies, and that the college age men all took turns on her… i was told that story a year ago and it lowkey traumatizes me till this day lol.

the last time i consented to sex, i bawled right afterwards in bed, i thought to myself i don’t ever really want to engage in this type of stuff ever again. i also felt like engaging in sex is a part of me is losing my own self respect. it didn’t feel like redeeming behavior anymore, it left me in a void of depression in a way because i wasn’t sure where to get validation from. at 13, i used to tell myself id become a pornstar— like that’s disgusting.

i often see the wording “sex-repulsed” in this subreddit, and i personally feel like that’s the exact way to describe how i feel. i stopped masturbating and watching porn ages ago, and i never even have any sort of sexual desire or even sexual attraction.

and in a way i sorta blame the general society and media, because i personally feel like at a young age my brain got warped into the world of porn and objectification. it’s just kinda mind boggling because my whole mindset did a 180.

i’m not too sure how i feel about romantic attraction, beforehand i used to only strictly be the type of girl who was interested in hookups only and never explored romantically. the idea of men honestly scare me in a way, they’ll fuck a peanut butter jar for goodness sake. and there’s women for example bonnie blue who hosts events where she’ll hook up with 1000+ men in the span of 12 hours, and if i found out my significant other participated in that, i’d be disgusted. and finding out some STDs/STIs exist because men

couldn’t keep their dicks away from animals is honestly so horrifying. what type of culture have we’ve enabled? i genuinely don’t understand the hype of sex, even when i was having sex, i would just be performing, and after the guy cums, the sex ends there with me being unfinished, it’s unappealing, nasty, sweaty, and just bodily fluids eeek. plus the average human as the same anatomy in terms of sexual organs, so like on average, one female’s set of tits doesn’t look that different to another’s, and to me; every dick has felt nearly identical, so i just don’t get this burning desire people have to fuck so many people or even cheat on their significant others??

im not sure if my thought process is making any more sense, but let me know if you think a similar way? i just needed to rant about this because ive felt this way for over 2 years now and i never actually had the chance to have a discussion out loud about simply the thought of sex nauseates me. anyway, i appreciate whoever read this far, have a good day/night :)

https://redd.it/1lzgp44
@asexualityonreddit

Hey, is it common for cisgender dudes to be asexual?

Or is there something wrong with me? Because all I see are people belonging to other gender identities who are asexual. I just wanted to know if it's rare or something. Kinda worried as well, because I used to think of myself as the protagonist of an ecchi anime like 'Highschool DXD'. It's kinda, like, stupid, but I need some validation for Christ's sake!!!

https://redd.it/1lzhlag
@asexualityonreddit

Do asexuals like Chicago pizza?

I'm not asexual, but I want to understand you better. I get not being interested sex, there's so much else to enjoy in life, like pizza. But how about Chicago style pizza?

https://redd.it/1lzjkmv
@asexualityonreddit

Wife came out to me as asexual.

I apologize in advance for being long winded.


I’m sorry if this kind of post is not welcome here. I am not comfortable speaking about this topic with anyone in my personal life, and frankly, I don’t know anyone who would be knowledgeable enough on the topic. So I was looking for some insight from people who experience asexuality first hand.


Hi all, I (27f) and my wife (also 27f) have been together for 10 years, married just under 2 of those years. We have never had a very sexual relationship, maybe 2-3 times a month on average. I have struggled with this at times because I thought she simply wasn’t attracted to me, although she calls me beautiful all the time.


Today she brings to my attention that she is not a sexual person at all. Not just not with me, not any gender, she doesn’t think of anyone sexually. Even her girlfriend prior to me. She says she loves me endlessly, she sees herself spending a lifetime with me. Just without sex. Well, she says the rare occasion of sex.


She says this was very very hard to bring to my attention, and I’m sure it was. She struggled with it in silence for years. She says she forced herself to have sex with me the majority of the time we did, to please me, to feel “normal”, and etc. Which felt like a gut punch when I first heard those words. Not because I was upset at the thought of lack of sex, but an overwhelming guilt.


Sex has never been super important to me, but I do desire sexual pleasure. But I have no desire to seek it outside of my marriage, and she has explained she is not comfortable with me doing so.


She stated that she does get aroused at times, not every sexual encounter we had was a lie on her part, and that sex won’t never happen, but it will be rare.


I’m fine with this. It feels good knowing this so we can focus on strengthening other parts of our marriage and not focusing so much on the sex.


Questions I have:

How do I help her come to terms with this instead of fearing there is something wrong with her?

Can we still have a fulfilling life together?

Do asexual people sometimes still get sexual urges?

Is it okay/appropriate if I masturbate to fill my own sexual desires?

Do asexual people still find people aesthetically attractive?

Can an asexual person and non-asexual person still be compatible?

Can asexual people still feel sexual pleasure?

Can libido supplements help?(her idea, not mine)

Anyone in a relationship with a non-asexual person, how do you navigate sex?


I love my wife more than life itself, she is my absolute best friend. I am just trying to educate myself in the best way possible to navigate any way this may change our marriage.


Thank you for listening. Any and all commentary and advice is greatly welcomed and appreciated.


Much love.



https://redd.it/1lzljy6
@asexualityonreddit

I hate when people touch me without my consent

like touching me anywhere at all, even tickling, at work I get touched by coworkers weirdly everyday and when I tell them to stop they keep going. is this not sexual harassment? am i weird that I feel uncomfortable whenever someone touches me. If i say no, no means no.

https://redd.it/1lzla1x
@asexualityonreddit

Thank you Subway Australia; signed a cute & sweet asexual boi who loves cheesy garlic-bread 🏆🧄🧀🥖🍞
https://redd.it/1lzebqv
@asexualityonreddit

Lots of venting-I’m proud to be aroace I just wish there was more space for people who figured it out the messy way


I’m aromantic and asexual, and discovering that has brought me a lot of peace. I’m not interested in romantic relationships, I don’t feel sexual attraction, and for the first time, I feel like I understand myself.

But I feel like I have to sanitize my past to be accepted in ace spaces. I’ve had sex before just a couple of times and it wasn’t that great. I was curious, unsure, trying to figure out what everyone else seemed so into. It never really clicked for me, and now I know why. But any time I mention it, I feel like people think I’m not “really” ace. Like having had sex before disqualifies me from the label.

And while I was figuring things out, I also ended up in some weird sexual subreddits. It wasn’t anything illegal or harmful just fantasy-based stuff I would never actually do. It was a way to process things when I didn’t know what I was feeling. But some of the comments I left there got taken out of context, and I got attacked for them. It left me feeling ashamed and confused.

I’m also autistic, so I take things pretty personally. I don’t just brush off hate or misunderstandings they linger. I replay conversations and comments over and over, even when I know I shouldn’t. And it makes it even harder to feel like I belong anywhere.

I guess I just wish there was more space in the community for people who didn’t figure it out right away. Who had some messy or confusing experiences. Who explored things and then realized: “Yeah… this isn’t for me.”

https://redd.it/1lzparb
@asexualityonreddit

The “you haven’t met the right person yet” often just puts people on other parts of the spectrum

If they do end up being sexually attracted to somebody, they might be graysexual, or demisexual, or aceflux. We all know how stupid this argument is, but the more you look at it, the dumber it becomes. Allosexual and asexual are not the only possibilities.

https://redd.it/1lzrm1x
@asexualityonreddit

Microlabel Help (Is there one I'm missing?)

I really struggle with feeling like any microlabel fits for me. I know there is no NEED to fit one but I sort of wish there were one that covered asexuals who did not want to engage in sexual activity but were not necessarily repulsed by the concept or activity of sex. Apothisexual almost feels right but I often see it described as a repulsion rather than an aversion or a choice to be celibate. The reason I even feel the need for a microlabel is just that there are a lot of asexuals who will still choose to engage in some sexual activity and I think it would be helpful to be able to communicate that is not the choice I make for myself.

https://redd.it/1lzp7am
@asexualityonreddit