Question relating to terminology
Hey guys!
A straight allosexual friend and I had a lengthy discussion about aspec identities and other things relating to being aspec.
It was prompted by her having seen a video in which the OP stated that a fictional character "cured" them of being aroace. At first my only answer to that was that (obviously) sexuality is not something to be cured/that can be cured. But she said she knew that.
So after explaining a couple of things to her like that sexuality is fluid (therefore can change over the years), she asked if someone by saying they were "cured" from being aspec could mean that their sexual identity changed (and for example now they simply identify as bisexual).
I told her that even if they didn't have bad intentions, that phrasing is still harmful for the community, because it would enable queerphobes' beliefs that sexuality can be cured.
To which she asked what would be an acceptable phrasing to tell other people (presumable meaning allosexuals/cishet people) that you now identify as something other than before. I couldn't answer that question, because I genuinely have no idea and couldn't come up with anything on the spot either.
So now I'm curious too. What would be the correct way to tell someone that your sexual identity changed?
https://redd.it/1lm68ya
@asexualityonreddit
Hey guys!
A straight allosexual friend and I had a lengthy discussion about aspec identities and other things relating to being aspec.
It was prompted by her having seen a video in which the OP stated that a fictional character "cured" them of being aroace. At first my only answer to that was that (obviously) sexuality is not something to be cured/that can be cured. But she said she knew that.
So after explaining a couple of things to her like that sexuality is fluid (therefore can change over the years), she asked if someone by saying they were "cured" from being aspec could mean that their sexual identity changed (and for example now they simply identify as bisexual).
I told her that even if they didn't have bad intentions, that phrasing is still harmful for the community, because it would enable queerphobes' beliefs that sexuality can be cured.
To which she asked what would be an acceptable phrasing to tell other people (presumable meaning allosexuals/cishet people) that you now identify as something other than before. I couldn't answer that question, because I genuinely have no idea and couldn't come up with anything on the spot either.
So now I'm curious too. What would be the correct way to tell someone that your sexual identity changed?
https://redd.it/1lm68ya
@asexualityonreddit
Reddit
From the Asexual community on Reddit
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Leave asexual characters ALONE
There are INFINITE characters to choose from. Young, old, guy, girl, both, neither. There are a myriad of sexualities to dismiss or change or have fun with.
I can count the number of canonically asexual characters I have seen in all the media I've watched on ONE. HAND.
Imagine, if you will, it's 1980 and there's, what, five gay characters anywhere? A few more, a few less? You are a closeted queer person. You're talking to somebody about whatever show, and you mention the openly gay character and they say that they just ignore it, and ship them in a straight relationship instead. How would you feel?? Do you feel GOOD??
Now imagine you find a character who is exactly like you, and you love them with your whole heart because you have never seen someone you could relate to, and it's from a show or book you love! So you go online to see what people say about them, only to discover, shocker, people are constantly dismissing that one thing you could really relate to. It feels like they're dismissing YOU.
That's what it's like to have people ship an aro/ace character. Especially one who's sex-repulsed. It feels like in dismissing a huge part of the character to make them more appealing, they're acknowledging that a person can't be interesting without a love interest. It fucking sucks.
There are so few of these characters. Why oh WHY does anyone feel the need to ship these characters with someone else?? There are so many other characters out there, why must these precious few be changed so inherently?? Pick someone else, ANYONE else, to find hot and sexy!! Leave these few alone, please?
https://redd.it/1lm8tmy
@asexualityonreddit
There are INFINITE characters to choose from. Young, old, guy, girl, both, neither. There are a myriad of sexualities to dismiss or change or have fun with.
I can count the number of canonically asexual characters I have seen in all the media I've watched on ONE. HAND.
Imagine, if you will, it's 1980 and there's, what, five gay characters anywhere? A few more, a few less? You are a closeted queer person. You're talking to somebody about whatever show, and you mention the openly gay character and they say that they just ignore it, and ship them in a straight relationship instead. How would you feel?? Do you feel GOOD??
Now imagine you find a character who is exactly like you, and you love them with your whole heart because you have never seen someone you could relate to, and it's from a show or book you love! So you go online to see what people say about them, only to discover, shocker, people are constantly dismissing that one thing you could really relate to. It feels like they're dismissing YOU.
That's what it's like to have people ship an aro/ace character. Especially one who's sex-repulsed. It feels like in dismissing a huge part of the character to make them more appealing, they're acknowledging that a person can't be interesting without a love interest. It fucking sucks.
There are so few of these characters. Why oh WHY does anyone feel the need to ship these characters with someone else?? There are so many other characters out there, why must these precious few be changed so inherently?? Pick someone else, ANYONE else, to find hot and sexy!! Leave these few alone, please?
https://redd.it/1lm8tmy
@asexualityonreddit
Reddit
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I don't know if I'm asexual or lesbian
First of all, I would like to say that I am autistic and probably something that is obvious to you is not obvious to me.
For years I have considered myself a lesbian, but it's more because I don't like men, I don't see myself in a life with a man and I'm not attracted to a man's body, I simply don't like them.
With women I feel very comfortable and I like being with them, But their bodies... it's more like I saw some very beautiful painting, I understand the beauty, I understand why they are incredible, But I don't know, I feel like something is missing
https://redd.it/1lm95xz
@asexualityonreddit
First of all, I would like to say that I am autistic and probably something that is obvious to you is not obvious to me.
For years I have considered myself a lesbian, but it's more because I don't like men, I don't see myself in a life with a man and I'm not attracted to a man's body, I simply don't like them.
With women I feel very comfortable and I like being with them, But their bodies... it's more like I saw some very beautiful painting, I understand the beauty, I understand why they are incredible, But I don't know, I feel like something is missing
https://redd.it/1lm95xz
@asexualityonreddit
Reddit
From the Asexual community on Reddit
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My collection of pride themed dinosaur and prehistoric critters is now updated to 21 different designs! I am taking suggestions and ideas to expand onto, as I am still working to complete the list of gay dinos :D Please feel free to leave your ideas in the comments or dm me
https://redd.it/1lm7skm
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/1lm7skm
@asexualityonreddit
Reddit
From the asexuality community on Reddit: My collection of pride themed dinosaur and prehistoric critters is now updated to 21 different…
Explore this post and more from the asexuality community