Guilty confession
Hey you guys ever had to do an assignment and ignore your asexual side to pass? Well I had to made a treatment plan from a cognitive psychology p.o.v for a hypothetical client named Mrs. C for my intro to clinical psychology class. The presenting problem were OCD, possible sex repulsion, and hoarding. The first time (we had to do 3) I emailed the teacher worried about how they described sex part as a disorder when it could be a sexuality and she said I could probably leave it out since theres so much more in the case. I decided to include it considering it was causing a problem in her marriage (I want to be a marriage and family therapist). The first two I mentioned but in passing and the third one I addressed it fully. This is what I said:
"I want her to tell me her thought process toward sex. She says she has never had the desire to have sex, and now she refuses to participate in the act. I want to hear how she describes it. If she describes it as a dirty and disgusting act and it makes her feel like she has done something wrong, I would like to challenge that thought process. I want her to change it more into “Sex has dirty stuffin it, but sex itself is not dirty. Participating in sex is not a bad thing since sex is a part of life.” I do not expect her to change her thought process and immediately become sex-positive and become sexually active. She may take time to even entertain the idea of having sex, and I do not want her to think you have to have sex to live a healthy life. As I stated in the presenting problem section, she may just be asexual, and that is okay too. I want to work on the sex repulsion more than the no participation"
They have like 6 kids and the complaint was the husband's not her's. I can post the whole paper if people want. I got a 100% and I'm kinda proud of it. The guilty part is I'm ace from birth and kinda feel like I threw shade on the sexuality somewhat. (BAD MOM DRILLED IN HER HEAD SEX BAD AT YOUNG AGE, which is why I want to see if it's a trauma response or a sexuality but you have actually talk to the client to figure that out).
Also if you think we are in the same class, we aren't, you didn't see me here lol.
https://redd.it/r9j4yf
@asexualityonreddit
Hey you guys ever had to do an assignment and ignore your asexual side to pass? Well I had to made a treatment plan from a cognitive psychology p.o.v for a hypothetical client named Mrs. C for my intro to clinical psychology class. The presenting problem were OCD, possible sex repulsion, and hoarding. The first time (we had to do 3) I emailed the teacher worried about how they described sex part as a disorder when it could be a sexuality and she said I could probably leave it out since theres so much more in the case. I decided to include it considering it was causing a problem in her marriage (I want to be a marriage and family therapist). The first two I mentioned but in passing and the third one I addressed it fully. This is what I said:
"I want her to tell me her thought process toward sex. She says she has never had the desire to have sex, and now she refuses to participate in the act. I want to hear how she describes it. If she describes it as a dirty and disgusting act and it makes her feel like she has done something wrong, I would like to challenge that thought process. I want her to change it more into “Sex has dirty stuffin it, but sex itself is not dirty. Participating in sex is not a bad thing since sex is a part of life.” I do not expect her to change her thought process and immediately become sex-positive and become sexually active. She may take time to even entertain the idea of having sex, and I do not want her to think you have to have sex to live a healthy life. As I stated in the presenting problem section, she may just be asexual, and that is okay too. I want to work on the sex repulsion more than the no participation"
They have like 6 kids and the complaint was the husband's not her's. I can post the whole paper if people want. I got a 100% and I'm kinda proud of it. The guilty part is I'm ace from birth and kinda feel like I threw shade on the sexuality somewhat. (BAD MOM DRILLED IN HER HEAD SEX BAD AT YOUNG AGE, which is why I want to see if it's a trauma response or a sexuality but you have actually talk to the client to figure that out).
Also if you think we are in the same class, we aren't, you didn't see me here lol.
https://redd.it/r9j4yf
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
Guilty confession
Hey you guys ever had to do an assignment and ignore your asexual side to pass? Well I had to made a treatment plan from a cognitive psychology...
TW: sexual experiences
So reading through everyones bingos it seems quite a lot of us, myself included, have forced ourselves into having sex. And while its nice to see Im not the only one it is scary the amount of us have gone through this.
So this post is to talk through any issues surrounding this and supporting those who need it. If this post is unnessasary then let me know 💜
https://redd.it/r9ncn8
@asexualityonreddit
So reading through everyones bingos it seems quite a lot of us, myself included, have forced ourselves into having sex. And while its nice to see Im not the only one it is scary the amount of us have gone through this.
So this post is to talk through any issues surrounding this and supporting those who need it. If this post is unnessasary then let me know 💜
https://redd.it/r9ncn8
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
TW: sexual experiences
So reading through everyones bingos it seems quite a lot of us, myself included, have forced ourselves into having sex. And while its nice to see...
Is there something between sex-repulsed and sex-indifferent?
I know that attitudes towards sex is a spectrum as with everything, but I feel like my attitude may be common enough to have a name?
Basically, I don't want to have sex, I don't like the idea of it (which means I'm not sex-indifferent) but I also am not repulsed by it in any sense (sex-repulsed just feels like far too extreme a word for how I feel)
If anyone knows a name for this I'd really appreciate it! (Also if you share my attitude let me know, I'd love to know if this is a common feeling)
https://redd.it/r9mkni
@asexualityonreddit
I know that attitudes towards sex is a spectrum as with everything, but I feel like my attitude may be common enough to have a name?
Basically, I don't want to have sex, I don't like the idea of it (which means I'm not sex-indifferent) but I also am not repulsed by it in any sense (sex-repulsed just feels like far too extreme a word for how I feel)
If anyone knows a name for this I'd really appreciate it! (Also if you share my attitude let me know, I'd love to know if this is a common feeling)
https://redd.it/r9mkni
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
Is there something between sex-repulsed and sex-indifferent?
I know that attitudes towards sex is a spectrum as with everything, but I feel like my attitude may be common enough to have a name? Basically, I...
Hopeless romantic
For the alloromantic asexuals do you ever feel being ace turned you into a hopeless romantic?
Sometimes I feel like all the sexual attraction just got converted into more romantic😅
https://redd.it/r9u3zj
@asexualityonreddit
For the alloromantic asexuals do you ever feel being ace turned you into a hopeless romantic?
Sometimes I feel like all the sexual attraction just got converted into more romantic😅
https://redd.it/r9u3zj
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
Hopeless romantic
For the alloromantic asexuals do you ever feel being ace turned you into a hopeless romantic? Sometimes I feel like all the sexual attraction...
Can someone explain the rings please?
Hi! I recently realized that I'm asexual after a pretty disastrous kiss. this is my first time on this subreddit and I'm seeing a lot of posts of people with black rings on their middle fingers. can someone explain the significance to me?
Also, do any of you have just general advice i guess about being asexual? it all feels new a little confusing to me and I don't have anyone irl i can really talk to so I was hoping y'all would have something to tell me because i feel so jumbled and confused right now about a lot of my relationships and my sexuality and idk what to do
https://redd.it/r9uaic
@asexualityonreddit
Hi! I recently realized that I'm asexual after a pretty disastrous kiss. this is my first time on this subreddit and I'm seeing a lot of posts of people with black rings on their middle fingers. can someone explain the significance to me?
Also, do any of you have just general advice i guess about being asexual? it all feels new a little confusing to me and I don't have anyone irl i can really talk to so I was hoping y'all would have something to tell me because i feel so jumbled and confused right now about a lot of my relationships and my sexuality and idk what to do
https://redd.it/r9uaic
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
Can someone explain the rings please?
Hi! I recently realized that I'm asexual after a pretty disastrous kiss. this is my first time on this subreddit and I'm seeing a lot of posts of...
Could you be asexual even if you do feel sexual attraction?
So, I came out as ace a few months ago, and since then a lot of people started to come to me for advice and questions about it, and recently I've been told by someone that they do feel sexual attraction to people with no problem, but still don't feel like having sex( but they said they might be open to try it if it was with one specific person), even when being attracted to them in a sexual way, and then asked me if that makes them asexual or somewhat in the spectrum.
When I studied about asexuality, the first thing I learned was that it was about sexual attraction, and not sex itself, and that asexuality essencially means lack of sexual attraction, being that fully or not. So if that's true, then that person couldn't be ace, right? But at the same time I have a feeling that I read somewhere about some ace people with this specific characteristic that this person mentioned, so what would this mean about asexuality?
Is this person ace? If they are, is there a specific term for them in the ace spectrum, and what is it? And what does that mean for the definition of asexuality then, if this person really is ace? Does asexuality not mean "lack of attraction" anymore, or has it never meant that?
https://redd.it/r9syc4
@asexualityonreddit
So, I came out as ace a few months ago, and since then a lot of people started to come to me for advice and questions about it, and recently I've been told by someone that they do feel sexual attraction to people with no problem, but still don't feel like having sex( but they said they might be open to try it if it was with one specific person), even when being attracted to them in a sexual way, and then asked me if that makes them asexual or somewhat in the spectrum.
When I studied about asexuality, the first thing I learned was that it was about sexual attraction, and not sex itself, and that asexuality essencially means lack of sexual attraction, being that fully or not. So if that's true, then that person couldn't be ace, right? But at the same time I have a feeling that I read somewhere about some ace people with this specific characteristic that this person mentioned, so what would this mean about asexuality?
Is this person ace? If they are, is there a specific term for them in the ace spectrum, and what is it? And what does that mean for the definition of asexuality then, if this person really is ace? Does asexuality not mean "lack of attraction" anymore, or has it never meant that?
https://redd.it/r9syc4
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
Could you be asexual even if you do feel sexual attraction?
So, I came out as ace a few months ago, and since then a lot of people started to come to me for advice and questions about it, and recently I've...
Looking for advice with asexual boyfriend
Hey everyone. To start I am not asexual myself, but I am in a relationship with a guy that he believes he is somewhere on the spectrum. He knows I am posting this and I will be sharing a link with him so he can see as well.
​
I hope this is ok here. I am not entirely sure where else I could ask this at the moment. I feel like I have run out of people to talk too or places to read or anything...
​
A little bit of background on us. We both identify as gay. We are in an open relationship (but not poly, only for sex).
​
I myself am very sexual. To me there are 2 distinct types of sex. There is hookup meaningless emotionless sex and then there is the sex with your partner(s). I... value both of those for very different reasons and one does not really have any impact on the desire for the other for the most part.
​
Sex with my partner is very important to me. A lack of sex can start to make me think there is something wrong, it helps me feel good about things in the relationship. I kinda describe it like, our time cuddling, playing games, chatting, all of that of course builds a strong relationship. But sex is almost the glue that holds it all together?
​
My boyfriend. He most of the time is indifferent about it. There was an asexual term that he found that he felt kinda described his feelings once. Basically... he will jack off, he will fantasize, watch porn, etc. But when it comes to actually performing the actions he is indifferent. But there are times that he is horny. It is just rare.
​
But I am finding myself... really struggling here. Because I find myself having that little voice in the back of my mind thinking things are wrong and I can't quite it down. Today I broke down crying in his arms because I had those thoughts and I couldn't push them away, but he was able to... kinda reassure me while cuddling, but TBH only momentarily.
​
Part of that struggle for me is also... I know sometimes he is into it. So I will ask after work or whatever like, "hey are you... horny" or something like that. Being blunt TBH, but figure better not to be sly. He has told me many times that he is not upset about me asking, but I still feel weird about it. But he also will often respond with something like "I'm not really horny, but happy to help you if you want" and I feel really... weird about that. Like... ok you say your not but you only do it because I want too but... will you actually enjoy yourself or just... sighing through it? He tries to tell me he will enjoy it, but I struggle to believe it. At least a few times that thought has lead my own performance issues.
​
I do also really struggle with like... I really want to... feel wanted? We live, very close. Like a 20 minute walk in a big city. So I find myself hurt that, he may jack off and has never reached out to me? Its always me reaching out to him. Logically I know I shouldn't care but...
​
I tried talking to a therapist about this stuff for a little bit and we kinda just ended it like... yeah I attach a lot to sex and that is what it is. Just like he is what he is.
​
I am not entirely sure what advice I am looking for here. I love him a lot... but my feelings around this scare me and I don't like feeling how I felt this morning. But I also don't want to pressure him or anything even when he says it is ok.
https://redd.it/r9vwek
@asexualityonreddit
Hey everyone. To start I am not asexual myself, but I am in a relationship with a guy that he believes he is somewhere on the spectrum. He knows I am posting this and I will be sharing a link with him so he can see as well.
​
I hope this is ok here. I am not entirely sure where else I could ask this at the moment. I feel like I have run out of people to talk too or places to read or anything...
​
A little bit of background on us. We both identify as gay. We are in an open relationship (but not poly, only for sex).
​
I myself am very sexual. To me there are 2 distinct types of sex. There is hookup meaningless emotionless sex and then there is the sex with your partner(s). I... value both of those for very different reasons and one does not really have any impact on the desire for the other for the most part.
​
Sex with my partner is very important to me. A lack of sex can start to make me think there is something wrong, it helps me feel good about things in the relationship. I kinda describe it like, our time cuddling, playing games, chatting, all of that of course builds a strong relationship. But sex is almost the glue that holds it all together?
​
My boyfriend. He most of the time is indifferent about it. There was an asexual term that he found that he felt kinda described his feelings once. Basically... he will jack off, he will fantasize, watch porn, etc. But when it comes to actually performing the actions he is indifferent. But there are times that he is horny. It is just rare.
​
But I am finding myself... really struggling here. Because I find myself having that little voice in the back of my mind thinking things are wrong and I can't quite it down. Today I broke down crying in his arms because I had those thoughts and I couldn't push them away, but he was able to... kinda reassure me while cuddling, but TBH only momentarily.
​
Part of that struggle for me is also... I know sometimes he is into it. So I will ask after work or whatever like, "hey are you... horny" or something like that. Being blunt TBH, but figure better not to be sly. He has told me many times that he is not upset about me asking, but I still feel weird about it. But he also will often respond with something like "I'm not really horny, but happy to help you if you want" and I feel really... weird about that. Like... ok you say your not but you only do it because I want too but... will you actually enjoy yourself or just... sighing through it? He tries to tell me he will enjoy it, but I struggle to believe it. At least a few times that thought has lead my own performance issues.
​
I do also really struggle with like... I really want to... feel wanted? We live, very close. Like a 20 minute walk in a big city. So I find myself hurt that, he may jack off and has never reached out to me? Its always me reaching out to him. Logically I know I shouldn't care but...
​
I tried talking to a therapist about this stuff for a little bit and we kinda just ended it like... yeah I attach a lot to sex and that is what it is. Just like he is what he is.
​
I am not entirely sure what advice I am looking for here. I love him a lot... but my feelings around this scare me and I don't like feeling how I felt this morning. But I also don't want to pressure him or anything even when he says it is ok.
https://redd.it/r9vwek
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
Looking for advice with asexual boyfriend
Hey everyone. To start I am not asexual myself, but I am in a relationship with a guy that he believes he is somewhere on the spectrum. He knows I...
I’m scared of dating an allo
It’s something that has been going around my head for some months now; I’ve never dated in my life, but it’s something that scares me
At first I thought that maybe it was fear of commitment, then my sexual orientation, then that I was just weird, but I finally managed to pinpoint that it’s fear; fear of dating an allo, fear of getting cheated on because of it, fear of not being enough, all of that
I just needed to write my thoughts somewhere, just to hopefully get them out of my head
https://redd.it/r9ycyb
@asexualityonreddit
It’s something that has been going around my head for some months now; I’ve never dated in my life, but it’s something that scares me
At first I thought that maybe it was fear of commitment, then my sexual orientation, then that I was just weird, but I finally managed to pinpoint that it’s fear; fear of dating an allo, fear of getting cheated on because of it, fear of not being enough, all of that
I just needed to write my thoughts somewhere, just to hopefully get them out of my head
https://redd.it/r9ycyb
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
I’m scared of dating an allo
It’s something that has been going around my head for some months now; I’ve never dated in my life, but it’s something that scares me At first I...
You do not need sex to confirm your asexuality!
From one ace to another. Please do NOT think you need to "just give it a try" to know. PLEASE! I don't care if you're a man and your girlfriend couldn't wait. You do not owe anybody anything. If you don't want sex, that's just how it is!! I am literally unable to say no, please learn from my mistakes.
I have had so much sex. I'm sure the incels would see me as some kind of alpha male. I do not care. I would undo ALL OF IT IF I COULD. I fucking hate my life. I wish I wasn't such a pushover!
https://redd.it/r9v9se
@asexualityonreddit
From one ace to another. Please do NOT think you need to "just give it a try" to know. PLEASE! I don't care if you're a man and your girlfriend couldn't wait. You do not owe anybody anything. If you don't want sex, that's just how it is!! I am literally unable to say no, please learn from my mistakes.
I have had so much sex. I'm sure the incels would see me as some kind of alpha male. I do not care. I would undo ALL OF IT IF I COULD. I fucking hate my life. I wish I wasn't such a pushover!
https://redd.it/r9v9se
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
You do not need sex to confirm your asexuality!
From one ace to another. Please do NOT think you need to "just give it a try" to know. PLEASE! I don't care if you're a man and your girlfriend...
Been questioning if I’m ace... this confirms everything
Had a dream with my “crush” in it and we made a cake together XD
https://redd.it/ra2sqj
@asexualityonreddit
Had a dream with my “crush” in it and we made a cake together XD
https://redd.it/ra2sqj
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
Been questioning if I’m ace... this confirms everything
Had a dream with my “crush” in it and we made a cake together XD
About the ace bingo
Has anyone else noticed that like 6 of the 12 possible "bingos" are contradictory/impossible? Is noone going to talk about this? its driving me NUTS!!!!!!! How can we be ace if we dont get bingos on the ace bingo????
https://redd.it/ra0pzb
@asexualityonreddit
Has anyone else noticed that like 6 of the 12 possible "bingos" are contradictory/impossible? Is noone going to talk about this? its driving me NUTS!!!!!!! How can we be ace if we dont get bingos on the ace bingo????
https://redd.it/ra0pzb
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
About the ace bingo
Has anyone else noticed that like 6 of the 12 possible "bingos" are contradictory/impossible? Is noone going to talk about this? its driving me...