Spaghet
https://redd.it/r899q1
@asexualityonreddit

Something I’ve been wondering for awhile

So I see a bunch of post about us aces not liking sexual related songs but is there anyone else here that doesn’t mind them?

https://redd.it/r84en2
@asexualityonreddit

Yoneda from Platinum End is definitely aroace
https://redd.it/r8dm5j
@asexualityonreddit

my first post in this subreddit , kinda nervous
https://redd.it/r8idhs
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Bingo!!
https://redd.it/r8hw6d
@asexualityonreddit

Not sure if Im on the asexual spect or if im just weird/or if anyone feels the same as me.

​

So basically I do have attraction towards guys and do pleasure myself a regular amount. But when it comes to thinking about dating a guy I have a crush on or they have interest in me I don't really want to. I don't want to date them but I'm attracted to them if that makes any sense. I don't really like touch either and can't imagine holding hands, kissing or sex cause it makes me cringe and repulsed. In terms of pleasure I don't like imagining actual people because its too weird. So its like I imagine a blur of a person (sorry if this doesn't make sense).

Im just unsure because I don't know anyone who feels like this and I don't know if I just hate being being touched exclusively since I don't even like being touched by strangers or really close family(mom/Dad).I don't have any trauma from being touched either so im confused.

This might not make sense because its the first time letting this out.

https://redd.it/r8gega
@asexualityonreddit

It's good to find people that at least try to understand instead of telling you "oH dOn'T wOrRy yOu'Ll gRoW uP aNd cHaNgE yOuR mInD"
https://redd.it/r8lg4m
@asexualityonreddit

Ah yis, the constant questioning oneself stage
https://redd.it/r8mwmq
@asexualityonreddit

Sometimes I wish that the Ace community would be more inclusive of non heteroromantic Aces

I am Homoalterous, which for me means being same sex attracted while both being on the Ace and Aro spectrum. Many times I feel that I am misplaced in the both Ace and the broader LGBTQIA+ community. There are the main struggles that I feel like I been through in the several online Ace communities.


1. I feel like some Ace communities tend to have some heteroromantic bias in them, and the experience of the same sex attracted Aces is not totally understood and acknowledged. When I was coming out in those groups at first I got the "You valid" vibes but at the same time I felt erasure. I felt validation because we both had the same questions like finding a non sexual partners, valuing friendships and just seeking the different goals than sex. But I also felt erasure because when I told that I am attracted to the same sex some were quick to label this as "Sexing" and "Obsession" because in they opinion just finding the other Ace would do the thing and any sex and gender preferences should not be important. But also the remarks which bascially sound like "just go and get a first random guy then". Setting, explaining and respecting the orientation and attraction boundaries were sometimes a tough thing to do.

2. Homophobic experience with the heteroromantic Aces and straight females were a taboo topic in them. I went through the several one sided relationships (sometimes being aware of one only years later) with both the heterosexual and heteroromantic females that all basically went like this "He's so different from all of those guys I been seeing before. I finally feel safe around him.. but wait, why is he don't show as much affection as I do? Is he don't like me? Is he don't care? Ohh... He is just another careless freak" when I was seeing them as a very good friends, maybe sometimes way too overly carrying - but still very good and trustworthy friends and were devastated to see them go and even harshly bashing me sometimes afterwards. Back in the HS I even remember some girls bullying me only because they wanted to get my attention.
Please, don't get me wrong here. I know that being a Female in a relationship, life and society in general is still way more challenging than being a Male. I also totally support the Women rights and them being independent from Males' opinions. I would even say that I do still generally get along with females better than males. The thing is - I just want to be who I am without trying to fit into M+F intimacy formula that the world is seeing as default and being judged for it when I am not fitting in. And I feel like this formula is even projected to the certain Ace communities.


I know that there are bad apples in every basket, and I don't want to sound like I generalise everyone. I know that this topic may seen as controversial by some. This was just my experience in several Ace spacesI been a member of - and they don't reflect the entire Ace community. If anyone feels that this post comes out as offensive I will edit it - or you can remove it.

https://redd.it/r8k17w
@asexualityonreddit

Ponder it
https://redd.it/r8nynk
@asexualityonreddit

I did the bingo too (the original is on the right, credits to the creator)

https://redd.it/r8oq7t
@asexualityonreddit

Hmmm... Seems like I'm not very Ace.

https://redd.it/r8p91q
@asexualityonreddit

That's what I want
https://redd.it/r8p743
@asexualityonreddit

Why are most aces alloromantic?



I think alloromantic aces are totally valid, I’m just really confused why they’re the majority.

I found this poll someone did

https://www.reddit.com/r/asexuality/comments/qa81pv/howmanyacesarealsoaromanticaquickpoll/?utmsource=share&utmmedium=iosapp&utmname=iossmf, which made it seem like most aces are alloromantic. That surprised me. I really hadn’t expected it to be the majority. I’ve checked other polls and they’ve had similar results.


This poll separates it out into the different orientations https://www.reddit.com/r/asexuality/comments/quoj9d/whatiseveryonesromanticorientation/?utmsource=share&utmmedium=iosapp&utmname=iossmf. In polls like that it seems to always be VERY SLIGHTLY more common than any individual romantic orientation but way less than when you add the heteroromantics, homoromantics, and bi/panromantics together. Though “unsure” seems to always have a LOT of votes.


Maybe most of the people who are unsure are actually aro and just don’t realize it. Maybe it’s just uncommon for aromantic people to be certain that they’re aromantic because it’s so hard to know that you don’t feel romantic attraction if you don’t know what it even is.


But maybe not. Maybe it really is more common. That’s weird to me. The vast majority of heterosexual people are heteroromantic. The vast majority of homosexual people are homoromantic. Of course it’s probably unlikely for allosexual people to have heard of the split attraction model before so we wouldn’t really be able to know if lots of them don’t match, but I would still expect the majority of them to match their sexual orientation.


Why are there more alloromantic aces than aromantic aces? Does that imply that asexuality, although still 100% valid as a sexual orientation, is somehow fundamentally different from other sexual orientations? I’m not sure if I’m comfortable with that, but it’s seems to be the case.

https://redd.it/r8tsrw
@asexualityonreddit

I have a question

Right so I have a friend how's asexual and I asked her a question the other day and she wasn't really sure how to answer so I have come to the source of all knowledge, Reddit.

Basically my question is this. So if your asexual and but your interested in girls, how do you define that in words. Like are there specific words you can use to express that.

The analogy I used with my friend was if you had a dating profile and you said you were asexual on it, how would you tell people what gender you want to have a relationship with.

If you don't understand then ask me to try and explain it again, thanks. P.s. I don't think I'm ace I'm just wondering.

https://redd.it/r8t2zr
@asexualityonreddit