I no longer feel welcome in this subreddit.
I want to first say that I am not shaming anyone for their type of asexuality (or sexuality in general), or any other such things. I am just trying to get my personal experiences out there as respectfully and clearly as I can. I am better at speaking my thoughts than typing them, so I apologize if anything I say here seems bad, it's not my intent. I also apologize for any spelling mistakes I may make.
I feel, as sex-respulsed asexual, that I am not welcome anymore here. Over the months I've seen many commenters say things along the lines of "sex-repulsed asexuals are why allosexuals don't like us", "why can't sex-repulsed asexuals be more accepting of sex", "sex-repulsed aces need to get over their repulsion" etc. There has also been a post saying that sex-repulsed asexuals should call themselves something different because being repulsed by sex somehow implies being judgemental of those who aren't sex-repulsed (I admit that post was a while ago, but this is an issue that has been bothering me for a long time).
Furthermore (and this is an issue on r/aace as well), on any meme that is intended to be relatable for sex-repulsed aces, it seems to be inundated with comments about how that meme is not relatable to all aces, which I can understand if the message of the meme isn't clearly stated, but even if it is those same types of comments appear, and it makes me feel like I'm less of an asexual (for some reason, I know that's not true but it's hard for me to convince myself sometimes).
I don't really know how to say this, but I also feel sort of infantilized (I'm not sure if that's the right term) and treated as unintelligent because I am not and do not wish to be educated in sex and such. Human anatomy in general is something that makes me feel sick so it's a topic I avoid as much as I can. I've also have been sent pms by users (who I have blocked) who've insulted me for not understanding kinks/being kinky (which I admit, I am partly to blame for, since I'm not great at communicating what I want to say online).
This is a bit of a non-sequitur but I don't know where else to put it, but when I say I'm sex-repulsed that means I don't like seeing/imagining the act of sex, talking about the topic of sex (I can do fine talking about it in objective contexts, but it's still uncomfortable), I don't make sex jokes and other dirty jokes, and I'm not dirty minded at all, but I want to be clear I don't judge those that are not like me. I support people in being who they are, and if I've come off as judgemental I apologize.
Ultimately, everywhere I go online or in real life I feel like I don't belong, that I'm not normal, that I'm broken. This isnt really relevant, but even going out wearing my pride pin I get called names. I wish nearly everyday that I was born not asexual, or at the very least born not being sex-repulsed. It's been especially difficult for me to be proud of my asexuality as of late, given the experiences I've been having.
https://redd.it/pwzxpj
@asexualityonreddit
I want to first say that I am not shaming anyone for their type of asexuality (or sexuality in general), or any other such things. I am just trying to get my personal experiences out there as respectfully and clearly as I can. I am better at speaking my thoughts than typing them, so I apologize if anything I say here seems bad, it's not my intent. I also apologize for any spelling mistakes I may make.
I feel, as sex-respulsed asexual, that I am not welcome anymore here. Over the months I've seen many commenters say things along the lines of "sex-repulsed asexuals are why allosexuals don't like us", "why can't sex-repulsed asexuals be more accepting of sex", "sex-repulsed aces need to get over their repulsion" etc. There has also been a post saying that sex-repulsed asexuals should call themselves something different because being repulsed by sex somehow implies being judgemental of those who aren't sex-repulsed (I admit that post was a while ago, but this is an issue that has been bothering me for a long time).
Furthermore (and this is an issue on r/aace as well), on any meme that is intended to be relatable for sex-repulsed aces, it seems to be inundated with comments about how that meme is not relatable to all aces, which I can understand if the message of the meme isn't clearly stated, but even if it is those same types of comments appear, and it makes me feel like I'm less of an asexual (for some reason, I know that's not true but it's hard for me to convince myself sometimes).
I don't really know how to say this, but I also feel sort of infantilized (I'm not sure if that's the right term) and treated as unintelligent because I am not and do not wish to be educated in sex and such. Human anatomy in general is something that makes me feel sick so it's a topic I avoid as much as I can. I've also have been sent pms by users (who I have blocked) who've insulted me for not understanding kinks/being kinky (which I admit, I am partly to blame for, since I'm not great at communicating what I want to say online).
This is a bit of a non-sequitur but I don't know where else to put it, but when I say I'm sex-repulsed that means I don't like seeing/imagining the act of sex, talking about the topic of sex (I can do fine talking about it in objective contexts, but it's still uncomfortable), I don't make sex jokes and other dirty jokes, and I'm not dirty minded at all, but I want to be clear I don't judge those that are not like me. I support people in being who they are, and if I've come off as judgemental I apologize.
Ultimately, everywhere I go online or in real life I feel like I don't belong, that I'm not normal, that I'm broken. This isnt really relevant, but even going out wearing my pride pin I get called names. I wish nearly everyday that I was born not asexual, or at the very least born not being sex-repulsed. It's been especially difficult for me to be proud of my asexuality as of late, given the experiences I've been having.
https://redd.it/pwzxpj
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
I no longer feel welcome in this subreddit.
I want to first say that I am not shaming anyone for their type of asexuality (or sexuality in general), or any other such things. I am just...
Which is more accepted?
(Throwaway in case people find out)
(Trans girl, aroace)
I want to come out to my friends soon, but I'm afraid that they might not be accepting. (I'm in a christian boys school (last year so I'm not leaving), but the students aren't religious)
I have two identities, so I wanna use one of them to test if they're conservative. If they're indecisive I can try to persuade them to be more open, but if I tell them everything they might turn against me instantly, so I'm wondering which one is less hated so that I can act as if nothing happened if they don't like it and just distance myself from them.
View Poll
https://redd.it/px85zl
@asexualityonreddit
(Throwaway in case people find out)
(Trans girl, aroace)
I want to come out to my friends soon, but I'm afraid that they might not be accepting. (I'm in a christian boys school (last year so I'm not leaving), but the students aren't religious)
I have two identities, so I wanna use one of them to test if they're conservative. If they're indecisive I can try to persuade them to be more open, but if I tell them everything they might turn against me instantly, so I'm wondering which one is less hated so that I can act as if nothing happened if they don't like it and just distance myself from them.
View Poll
https://redd.it/px85zl
@asexualityonreddit
My ace friends, I am sad
I got traintracks braces in today and I can't eat garlic bread
https://redd.it/pxa6nn
@asexualityonreddit
I got traintracks braces in today and I can't eat garlic bread
https://redd.it/pxa6nn
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
My ace friends, I am sad
I got traintracks braces in today and I can't eat garlic bread
Meta Poll: Should this subreddit have “sex repulsed” and “sex favorable” flairs for content that aligns with them?
We’ve seen some pendulum action in this sub between tons of sex favorable posts making sex-repulsed aces feel excluded and lots of sex-repulsed posts making sex-favorable aces feel excluded. One solution proposed was having tags to help filter content. What does the community think about this idea?
Credit to u/FightingFaerie for the idea
View Poll
https://redd.it/pxdpjl
@asexualityonreddit
We’ve seen some pendulum action in this sub between tons of sex favorable posts making sex-repulsed aces feel excluded and lots of sex-repulsed posts making sex-favorable aces feel excluded. One solution proposed was having tags to help filter content. What does the community think about this idea?
Credit to u/FightingFaerie for the idea
View Poll
https://redd.it/pxdpjl
@asexualityonreddit
My mom thinks not wanting marriage is unnatural
I seriously don't know what is up with people and the idea of marriage, like it really isn't the only thing that makes life enjoyable. My mom and I(18F) were talking about a few things, and one of them led up to her talking about a friend of her's who recently went through a divorce and how marriages are like in my home country. I'm from a conservative and religious country so marriage is basically put on a pedestal as one of the greatest life achievements. But there are a lot of discouraging things I have heard and seen when it comes to marriage that makes marriage less appealing.
She went on about how marriages are so stressful and mentally tasking for people, and how it always works in the favour of men in every case. But of course, she ended it by saying that marriage isn't all that bad as long as you do the right things and all of that, probably thinking that all the negative talk on marriage might scare me. I told her that personally, I do not care whether I get married or not, If I find the right person, then that is good, if I don't then that's fine too. And she instantly said, "stop saying that, you will get married don't worry". I told her that yes I will but if I don't I am still content with other relationships that are not necessarily romantic based and she repeatedly tried telling me to stop saying it before I jinx it, saying that I will definitely get married. Then at some point, she said, "it's unnatural and weird to be unmarried", and that just pissed me off.
Everything is just about getting married and having kids. I would like to have kids at some point or take care of them with someone but like I said if I don't get married, then that is fine with me. I can get happiness through other means, marriage isn't the end all be all. But of course, she just shut me down and said that I'm too young to understand the importance of marriage, that I shouldn't rebel against what has been put in place for me, and give a reason for people with ill-intents to wish such things on me.
I genuinely do not mind just being single or in a Quasi-platonic relationship with another person in order to raise kids or something. And as a closeted bisexual, I genuinely do not care who my partner may be as long as I am connected to them in some way, so I guess that's another thing she would have to worry about if marriage is such a big deal to her. Things like this just make me want to go MIA and live in a quiet place with pets for the rest of my life while doing the things I love, whether or not I share it with someone depends on the future. But of course, that's just a dream.
https://redd.it/pxkdgv
@asexualityonreddit
I seriously don't know what is up with people and the idea of marriage, like it really isn't the only thing that makes life enjoyable. My mom and I(18F) were talking about a few things, and one of them led up to her talking about a friend of her's who recently went through a divorce and how marriages are like in my home country. I'm from a conservative and religious country so marriage is basically put on a pedestal as one of the greatest life achievements. But there are a lot of discouraging things I have heard and seen when it comes to marriage that makes marriage less appealing.
She went on about how marriages are so stressful and mentally tasking for people, and how it always works in the favour of men in every case. But of course, she ended it by saying that marriage isn't all that bad as long as you do the right things and all of that, probably thinking that all the negative talk on marriage might scare me. I told her that personally, I do not care whether I get married or not, If I find the right person, then that is good, if I don't then that's fine too. And she instantly said, "stop saying that, you will get married don't worry". I told her that yes I will but if I don't I am still content with other relationships that are not necessarily romantic based and she repeatedly tried telling me to stop saying it before I jinx it, saying that I will definitely get married. Then at some point, she said, "it's unnatural and weird to be unmarried", and that just pissed me off.
Everything is just about getting married and having kids. I would like to have kids at some point or take care of them with someone but like I said if I don't get married, then that is fine with me. I can get happiness through other means, marriage isn't the end all be all. But of course, she just shut me down and said that I'm too young to understand the importance of marriage, that I shouldn't rebel against what has been put in place for me, and give a reason for people with ill-intents to wish such things on me.
I genuinely do not mind just being single or in a Quasi-platonic relationship with another person in order to raise kids or something. And as a closeted bisexual, I genuinely do not care who my partner may be as long as I am connected to them in some way, so I guess that's another thing she would have to worry about if marriage is such a big deal to her. Things like this just make me want to go MIA and live in a quiet place with pets for the rest of my life while doing the things I love, whether or not I share it with someone depends on the future. But of course, that's just a dream.
https://redd.it/pxkdgv
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
My mom thinks not wanting marriage is unnatural
I seriously don't know what is up with people and the idea of marriage, like it really isn't the only thing that makes life enjoyable. My mom and...
I was told by the class jock I'd die a virgin
Thanks dude! :D
https://redd.it/pxoae1
@asexualityonreddit
Thanks dude! :D
https://redd.it/pxoae1
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
I was told by the class jock I'd die a virgin
Thanks dude! :D
I just want to say thank you to everyone in this community.
Thank you all for existing and coming together on this subreddit. I would never have found out about myself if it wasn't for you lovely people. I really appreciate finding out that I'm not alone in this world, that I'm valid and that I'm not weird.
My story: I'm 25 now and i found this sub sometime last year, when I started questioning why I've never had the urge to have sex with anyone. Back when I was still in school, my friends started getting boyfriends and I kinda forced myself to have a crush on someone, at least on the surface. Thinking about it now, I probably just picked the person who looked most aesthetically pleasing to me and convinced myself I had a crush on him just to fit in. I was around 13-14 then. After that, I never really had a thing for anyone and I didn't really question it either. I thought that maybe I'm a late bloomer and I'd find the right person when the time is right. I didn't really worry about it though. Fast forward to a couple years ago when I first heard of demisexuality and thought that that might be me and I will find someone who I want to have sex with at some point. Aaaand fast forward to last year when I really started to get interested in the topic of sexuality and found out what asexuality is. And then I found this sub. I was so happy to read about other people's experiences, about not feeling sexual attraction and I felt understood for the first time. I felt whole, like a part of me I was missing suddenly appeared. I understood myself, was able to accept myself, felt valid and normal, thanks to all you people on this sub. It's amazing that we can be here together, with all the different forms of asexuality, that we can understand and support each other (mostly) without judgement. So yeah, thank you all for being here, for your acceptance and for your support. Thank you for making me feel valid.
TL;DR: Thank you for being here and thank you for making me feel valid and accepted.
https://redd.it/pxiiaw
@asexualityonreddit
Thank you all for existing and coming together on this subreddit. I would never have found out about myself if it wasn't for you lovely people. I really appreciate finding out that I'm not alone in this world, that I'm valid and that I'm not weird.
My story: I'm 25 now and i found this sub sometime last year, when I started questioning why I've never had the urge to have sex with anyone. Back when I was still in school, my friends started getting boyfriends and I kinda forced myself to have a crush on someone, at least on the surface. Thinking about it now, I probably just picked the person who looked most aesthetically pleasing to me and convinced myself I had a crush on him just to fit in. I was around 13-14 then. After that, I never really had a thing for anyone and I didn't really question it either. I thought that maybe I'm a late bloomer and I'd find the right person when the time is right. I didn't really worry about it though. Fast forward to a couple years ago when I first heard of demisexuality and thought that that might be me and I will find someone who I want to have sex with at some point. Aaaand fast forward to last year when I really started to get interested in the topic of sexuality and found out what asexuality is. And then I found this sub. I was so happy to read about other people's experiences, about not feeling sexual attraction and I felt understood for the first time. I felt whole, like a part of me I was missing suddenly appeared. I understood myself, was able to accept myself, felt valid and normal, thanks to all you people on this sub. It's amazing that we can be here together, with all the different forms of asexuality, that we can understand and support each other (mostly) without judgement. So yeah, thank you all for being here, for your acceptance and for your support. Thank you for making me feel valid.
TL;DR: Thank you for being here and thank you for making me feel valid and accepted.
https://redd.it/pxiiaw
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
I just want to say thank you to everyone in this community.
Thank you all for existing and coming together on this subreddit. I would never have found out about myself if it wasn't for you lovely people. I...
Sex-repulsed Aces- did your repulsion develop naturally or did something happen to cause it?
I'm sex repulsed, and my husband is a super sex-loving allo. He keeps going back to this idea that I must have had some traumatic experience that caused this feeling and I'm repressing the memory. I don't think it has any validity, but I figured I would try to learn more about the possible causes of repulsion so I can educate the both of us. Thanks for your vote!
View Poll
https://redd.it/pxjkgc
@asexualityonreddit
I'm sex repulsed, and my husband is a super sex-loving allo. He keeps going back to this idea that I must have had some traumatic experience that caused this feeling and I'm repressing the memory. I don't think it has any validity, but I figured I would try to learn more about the possible causes of repulsion so I can educate the both of us. Thanks for your vote!
View Poll
https://redd.it/pxjkgc
@asexualityonreddit
Everyone is valid and anyone who's gatekeeping or says otherwise wont get any garlic bread for 3 moons >:(=
https://redd.it/pxmoxf
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/pxmoxf
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
Everyone is valid and anyone who's gatekeeping or says otherwise...
Posted in r/aaaaaaacccccccce by u/wamen_noodlez • 88 points and 8 comments