I’m kinda confused 😭

cis-fem (also a minor), in a relationship

It just kind of occurred to me that I don’t feel sexual attraction towards my boyfriend- but I do to other men (or women idk I’m questioning that as well but let’s not take that into account)- it’s kind of like aceflux but it doesn’t fluctuate day-to-day more so with different people. Im romantically attracted to my current boyfriend and the relationship was built very emotion-heavy; but I dont feel sexual attraction towards him. In retrospect, I feel sexual (and maybe romantic) attraction towards others. I only realised when I started noticing how uncomfortable I would get when he makes sex jokes directed at me specifically when I do the same (not to him)[not a matter of it being creepy or anything I just don’t like him like that\].

I’ve heard of being fraysexual (i.e. sexual attraction fading when an emotional bond is formed) which is probably the closest label that fits me- but it’s been so long since I liked anyone else I've forgotten if that’s true😅

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TL;DR- I exclusively like some people romantically and not sexually but still experience sexual attraction, is there a term or is it a norm I’m not aware of?

https://redd.it/pwm0rs
@asexualityonreddit

Ace perspectives aren't worth reading?

So, I just published my book showing a teenager's journey to discovering her asexuality. I really wanted to show the world from an ace perspective.

Reviews have been generally positive, stating the book has value for the perspective and representation. There has been some critique, which is fair! I know its not perfect. This is my first book, and I value a lot of the technical critique of my work as it will only make me better.

One review that was left this morning really got to me, though.

His technical critique was actually positive; he said he liked the book, he liked the writing style, BUT he doubts anyone will read it, and many people who pick it up won't finish it. He said since it focused so much on the asexuality aspect, and since only "1% of the population is of a similar orientation" it won't get the readership he wishes it would get. He said commenting more on other elements of the high school experience would get more people interested/feeling fulfilled by the story. As a result, he left two stars.

Truthfully, he's probably right. I haven't made any moves to get the review dismissed or anything, because it's probably valid. My urge vent comes much less the negative review and more the reason behind it. He said it himself, there were a lot of good things about the book, he liked it, but the good was drowned out by focusing too much on asexuality and not the other "more relatable" or "important" parts of high school. Like the focus asexuality makes it not worth the read.

That sort of thing makes me just so incredibly sad. I've always valued reading stories about people who are different from myself, but not everyone does. By this account, I've ruined any opportunity to get my message out by delivering that message, making asexuality the focus. How ironic.

https://redd.it/pwlsvn
@asexualityonreddit

Sexual attraction is human! Asexuality is not! No, fellows remember, we are not human, we are superhuman. ASEXUALS ASSEMBLE 🙌🏻💪🏻



https://redd.it/pwgsn5
@asexualityonreddit

I think I won't understand it ever
https://redd.it/pwndpg
@asexualityonreddit

"It has been 5 years! Just make your move already!" uhh yeah no
https://redd.it/pwo9n9
@asexualityonreddit

I have been summoned
https://redd.it/pwqion
@asexualityonreddit

Questions for Asexuals who still have romantic interest

I'm gay (25F) who decided when I was 16 that I don't want to have sex with anyone. I am attracted to girls but because of politics and religious beliefs I felt like it would just be less stress to abstain.
My question is would you date someone who was abstaining from sex but still wants to find a partner

https://redd.it/pwrvl6
@asexualityonreddit

How to become asexual 101
https://redd.it/pwpiio
@asexualityonreddit

It's mine
https://redd.it/pwq3of
@asexualityonreddit

Why do people not understand Asexuality?

My own parents were horrified when they found out I was asexual. It was horrible. They won't even look at me straight now and it really hurts. I'm only a teenager. I want to tell other people that are going through shit like me, stay strong. I'm here for you and I'm sure many others are too. Pm me if you have your own issues about coming out. :)

https://redd.it/pwpzlv
@asexualityonreddit

Goodbye

Hello everyone, I wanted to say that you all are most welcoming, kindest and accepting group that I have ever had the pleasure of being apart of. I loved being here and seeing all the pride and kindness going around. However, I have recently realized that I am not asexual just bisexual. I love all of you and I will always spread Asexuality awareness and positivity throughout the LGBTQIA+ Community. Bye ✌️

https://redd.it/pwwvbj
@asexualityonreddit

Bought a hematite ring today simply because I thought it looked cool, had no idea they were commonly used as an ace ring, found it funny so I thought I’d share!
https://redd.it/pwrhyt
@asexualityonreddit

I’m a cis male who just now realized I’m asexual. I want to come out to my wife about it but I’m afraid she’ll reject me or worse degrade me. There’s a lot of pressure on men to “need sex” and I’ve just never felt the “urge”. Any advice?



https://redd.it/pwtnqn
@asexualityonreddit

Showed this to the discord already, but here are some pancakes for the panro reddit frogs! I also used this to come out to 2 of my friends!
https://redd.it/pwwjgp
@asexualityonreddit

Being lgbtq+ is just a constant state of confusion.
https://redd.it/pwy0ch
@asexualityonreddit

I’m so confused because I really want a relationship and I don’t think I’m aro? Why my brain gotta be like this
https://redd.it/pwxef1
@asexualityonreddit

Asexuals!...... Assemble!
https://redd.it/pwxlcr
@asexualityonreddit

When I was a kid, I felt like the "colours" that weren't in the rainbow needed their own thing, so I made the snowbow. It's not exactly the ace flag, but it's pretty close.
https://redd.it/px35s4
@asexualityonreddit

The first relatable post on Instagram in a long time…

https://redd.it/px1f1h
@asexualityonreddit

I no longer feel welcome in this subreddit.

I want to first say that I am not shaming anyone for their type of asexuality (or sexuality in general), or any other such things. I am just trying to get my personal experiences out there as respectfully and clearly as I can. I am better at speaking my thoughts than typing them, so I apologize if anything I say here seems bad, it's not my intent. I also apologize for any spelling mistakes I may make.

I feel, as sex-respulsed asexual, that I am not welcome anymore here. Over the months I've seen many commenters say things along the lines of "sex-repulsed asexuals are why allosexuals don't like us", "why can't sex-repulsed asexuals be more accepting of sex", "sex-repulsed aces need to get over their repulsion" etc. There has also been a post saying that sex-repulsed asexuals should call themselves something different because being repulsed by sex somehow implies being judgemental of those who aren't sex-repulsed (I admit that post was a while ago, but this is an issue that has been bothering me for a long time).

Furthermore (and this is an issue on r/aace as well), on any meme that is intended to be relatable for sex-repulsed aces, it seems to be inundated with comments about how that meme is not relatable to all aces, which I can understand if the message of the meme isn't clearly stated, but even if it is those same types of comments appear, and it makes me feel like I'm less of an asexual (for some reason, I know that's not true but it's hard for me to convince myself sometimes).

I don't really know how to say this, but I also feel sort of infantilized (I'm not sure if that's the right term) and treated as unintelligent because I am not and do not wish to be educated in sex and such. Human anatomy in general is something that makes me feel sick so it's a topic I avoid as much as I can. I've also have been sent pms by users (who I have blocked) who've insulted me for not understanding kinks/being kinky (which I admit, I am partly to blame for, since I'm not great at communicating what I want to say online).

This is a bit of a non-sequitur but I don't know where else to put it, but when I say I'm sex-repulsed that means I don't like seeing/imagining the act of sex, talking about the topic of sex (I can do fine talking about it in objective contexts, but it's still uncomfortable), I don't make sex jokes and other dirty jokes, and I'm not dirty minded at all, but I want to be clear I don't judge those that are not like me. I support people in being who they are, and if I've come off as judgemental I apologize.

Ultimately, everywhere I go online or in real life I feel like I don't belong, that I'm not normal, that I'm broken. This isnt really relevant, but even going out wearing my pride pin I get called names. I wish nearly everyday that I was born not asexual, or at the very least born not being sex-repulsed. It's been especially difficult for me to be proud of my asexuality as of late, given the experiences I've been having.

https://redd.it/pwzxpj
@asexualityonreddit