I about fell outa my chair when she described herself.
https://redd.it/1p945m2
@asexualityonreddit

Personal definition of difference between platonic & romantic

Hey y'all,

I was hoping to hear, with a degree of specificity, how you personally identify the difference between a platonic and romantic relationship AND the same question as regards to the difference between platonic and romantic attraction. I've been really contemplating this concept in the last twelve months or so and it feels like mainstream culture can't figure this one out as well as it like to think it can. Wondering if there's going to be any consistency here.

https://redd.it/1p94b4e
@asexualityonreddit

Is there a word for like, 100% ace, 80% aro, 20% homoromantic?

I'm sex-repulsed, and I've never felt physical attraction. I do think I've experienced a small amount of romantic attraction, but it's different from how I see romance described - an ideal relationship for me would basically be a best friend and a really deep emotional connection, and then the only traditionally-romantic things I'm interested in are like, hugging, or the sorts of activities that could be called dates (like a walk on the beach or a trip to the zoo, things "just friends" could do but generally don't), or quiet moments like maybe watching a movie next to each other with a bowl of popcorn. Specifically with the same gender.

Is there a label for this? I mostly say I'm aroace because it'a 90% right in one word, but it's also not entirely correct

https://redd.it/1p93sx4
@asexualityonreddit

What is the weirdest reaction you have gotten when you told some?

I got "but you are too attractive to be sexual" once and i still do not know what that was supposed to mean. what is the most confusing response you have received

https://redd.it/1p9940o
@asexualityonreddit

Starting a relationship w/ low attraction

I’m in my early 20s and have never been in a relationship. I do want to be in one some day, but i don’t know how to go about it when i feel pretty much neutral towards everyone on the romantic/sexual side of things.

I think i might be demi-sexual? If thats the right term. I think i need to actively choose a person in order to feel that attraction.

The thing is; someone told me they really like me. I don’t know what to do about it. I feel like I’m essentially choosing if I want to be this persons life partner, and it’s really intimidating.

Also; if I’m anything like I am with friendship, then I’ll be overly loyal? Idk I feel like there’s no turning back on my side xD I don’t have the attraction metric to know if it’s the right fit. He’s really nice and I like being his friend :)

https://redd.it/1p9bbyx
@asexualityonreddit

Is my partner’s behavior because he’s asexual?

My long term partner started identifying with being asexual from time to time for a few years now. I’m also part of the lgbtqia+ community and as much as I’d like to understand and respect his boundaries, I’ve recently realized I’m struggling with not taking it personally sometimes. So without me intending any kind of offend or disrespect, would you find these examples within the ace experience?

if a couple are cuddling and are kind of close with each other and he is physically turned on but doesn’t initiate or rejects the idea of having sex?

If it extends to other areas of physical touch and intimacy like say hugging or caressing? My partner tells me he doesn’t feel anything when we hug and that it doesn’t bring him any good feelings.

That he says he prefers masturbation because engaging with another person isn’t hassle-free and he has to consider the other person and it’s too much work?

https://redd.it/1p9exqd
@asexualityonreddit

My aunt said I should get married

Hi, I'm 22 years old.

I'm half Mexican, half white.

All throughout my life, it felt like my whole identity was split.
I'm half race, I like both genders (like bisexual) but I have little to no attraction to actual people (asexual).

I'm confused about everything in general, but all of this causes nothing but troubles fitting in with "normal" people with their attraction radars working. I just felt...broken at birth. My radar never really worked.

My tía was talking to my mom the other day on the phone, and I said a quick,"Hi." I haven't seen her in years. And she told me I should get married before it's over.

I've never even been in a relationship, and I have little interest in one. But after this...I feel even more broken.

I never want to get pregnant and have to worry about feeling awkward to do normal "se" acctivies with my partner without feeling naked down to my soul and feel like throwing up while doing said acctivies.

...I already struggle with my mental health, and this is really weighing me down. I can't stop thinking about what she said.
It makes me feel more like an alien (abnormal) than usual.

https://redd.it/1p9jlc1
@asexualityonreddit

Is it still ace to want "sexual activities" but not actual sex?

Well as the title says, im ace,have been labeling myself as such for years now ,and i never had as much as a crush (even on fictional characters) until i was sixteen .
I've only ever had two crushes on two people so far .and after a couple of months of these crushes developing I started feeling attracted to these guys (no overlapping)
But even with the attraction the idea of sex still feels repulsive to me,and on some days tolerable.but I don't want it,I don't want anything taht can be considered "sex" it feels so disgusting to me.
But i want some things,like making out and what not that can lean over the "sexual activities" area
(I don't consider myself demiasexual cus I don't feel sexual attraction to people after i get to know them,just these two,I consider it as a "exeptions" of a sort)

https://redd.it/1p9iy4a
@asexualityonreddit

Pervasive sexual stuff in movies

I tried to watch 'one battle after another' and stopped after the first 10 mins. The sexual stuff jammed into that first 10 mins was just a turn off. Was it relevant to the plot, to the story? Was it symbolism? I don't know, but I am getting tired of the constant in your face sexual content that's pervasive in all media.

#

https://redd.it/1p9krwp
@asexualityonreddit

Dragon Asexual Pride !

https://redd.it/1p9mft8
@asexualityonreddit

I am proud to be an asexual.

Take my quote.



“I support, accept, allow, let be and am all for LGBTQIA+, other differences and the few not of LGBTQIA+ and other differences who also support, accept, allow, let be and are all for LGBTQIA+ and other differences. The rest are hateful, judgmental, bigots, all the phobias and should not be allowed a say, suggestion, decision and choice in anyone, anybody and anything. Who cares if there is LGBTQIA+ and other differences. LGBTQIA+ and other differences is actually quite harmless just merely and simply don’t look, seem and sound like it sometimes is all. LGBTQIA+ and other differences have always been just more knowing of it and more able be as time goes on just like with anyone, anybody and anything.”

https://redd.it/1p9ossh
@asexualityonreddit

Feeling like i am not radical enough for not wanting to have sex

You know, sexuality in left spaces is treated like empowered. The disire to have sex as a female presented person is seen as radical and rebellious, ESPECIALLY if it is sexual disire for a man and thats because lesbian sex doesn't have the same importance and capacity in people's minds. It doesn't really count, type of thing. So me, as an ace (probably demisexual)lesbian, i feel like i am the embodiment of innocence, like i am just a little girl who doesn't threaten the patriarchy at all so i shouldn't really belong with these leftist women my age. And its not that i am sexually active as a lesbian either. I generally would like to experience lesbian sex but i haven't found anyone that makes me want to experience it with them. I don't want to masturbate because i feel highly uncomfortable and i really can't feel aroused when i do it so yeah. And thats it. I feel like a silly girl who would be a really cute housewife in the 50s (it doesn't matter if i don't like men, men back then didn't care if their wife liked them or not) sometimes i really wish my asexuality was "cured" or that i could gaslight myself into liking random people.

https://redd.it/1p9rdjc
@asexualityonreddit

I Understand Now

I've read plenty about people putting romantic relationships over platonic ones but now I understand it.

I've been friends with my best (and only) friend for 12 years now (since I was 9) and she got a boyfriend over a year ago now and I've been supportive as he is a nice guy. It hasn't seemed like she put the relationships above ours and we spend a bit of time together (we work together) and we rarely go out any where nice. I thought it'd be nice if we booked a week of together and went to an aquarium (I've never been and she likes fish).

The other day (Thursday) I get a message from her boyfriend asking me why I didn't talk to him about it and he let me know what day we're going. I spoke to my friend and told her I wanted it to be us and didn't want to spend the day watching their pda and be the third wheel. She said to talk to him about it.

A few hours later he messages me saying that they're together so I will third wheel a lot and will try to keep pda to a minimum. He said he was planning to take her to the aquarium for their anniversary. He then sent a screenshot of her message to him saying to sort it out with me or she ain't going, with him captioning the phot saying "make your peace with it or she ain't going"

I never replied because I didn't really know what to say and I've been quiet at work and avoiding any big conversations with her.( this was friday)
Then today (Saturday) I've done the same and he's messaged again saying going without him so stop ignoring her.

I don't feel like going with both of them and I don't want to stop him from going (especially if he was already planning to take her), so just dont really know what. I wouldn't like it if they didn't go because I didn't want to and I get they are together, I just dont want to be third wheeling all the time. I want to spend time with my friend outside of work doing something fun, but instead I feel like im now being kicked to the curb on the activity I wanted to do (didn't know he was planning on going)
Now I feel like that their relationship is now above me completely, leaving me in the dust, all alone.

Sorry for rant just wanted to get it out my head. Thank for reading this far 🙏

https://redd.it/1p9rt7u
@asexualityonreddit

Ever get a physical pain from someone’s sexual advances?

Ever feel a surge of physical pain from the very idea of someone wanting to have sex with you? I have found that the very few times a woman has made advances on me, I get a weird pain in my foot. It’s a little like that sympathetic pain I get when I see a video where someone gets injured. I’m not sex repulsed per se. I’m fine seeing sex in movies or occasionally (occasional as in years) having sex with someone I have an emotional connection to. But if someone I don’t have a connection to makes their sexual interest known BOOM that pain. Sometimes that person I would have that connection as well which is why, though I like romantic love, I can’t find a partner that is fine with me very rarely wanting to engage in sexual relations.

I’m male in my 40’s obese with some neuropathy so maybe those are factors that may be part of this sort of nerve pain. But I wondered if anyone had something similar.

https://redd.it/1p9s5om
@asexualityonreddit

Books with asexual characters

I’m looking for books with asexual characters. I usually prefer fiction but I’m open to anything. I want to read about characters I can relate to. I’m hoping for some recommendations! Please drop some of your favorites below!

https://redd.it/1p9qtms
@asexualityonreddit

Told that I am not queer by the only person I have eve come out to

Typo: *ever

A few months ago I came out to this person who I thought would be okay with it because they are queer. I have only mentioned being ace a couple times because I'm not even very comfortable saying it outloud (and they know that) but the few times I did, they acted like I was annoying for even mentioning it.

After it happened again today, I asked them if they are not okay with me talking about it and if i should just never mention it. They said that I "want to be oppressed and for them to say poor you its SO hard being asexual" and that I'm not queer. I have never even referred to myself as queer to this person but I am queer?? I said that thats wrong and that it's literally in the acronym but I never even called myself queer in case they wouldn't like that. They said that because they're bisexual they're actually queer and that I'm not queer and it doesn't matter that I'm ace, and they don't care or want to understand me (i think they're referring to a show that i mentioned they might like and that it has ace rep in it? I really never tried to get them to be empathetic to me or anything).

I guess now that I am thinking about it, the only times they had mentioned me being ace were kind of negative, like they mentioned it once to use the fact that I don't want to date ppl against me. The the other time they acted confused when I mentioned having kids in the future (they've known for years that the thing i care abt the most is being a mother one day) and they started asking well how are you gonna do that, i thought you didn't want to have sex, what are you gonna have someone cum in a turkey baster and use that?? (they know how much i hate talking like that) and i had to tell them not to say stuff like that because i hate it and then i left.

i guess I ignored that because i wanted to think that I had one person irl who knew that im aspec and accepted me. anyways i am really upset so i might not have made any sense when typing this stuff, sorry.


https://redd.it/1p9wbzr
@asexualityonreddit

What I love about being Asexual


🖤🩶🤍💜🖤🩶🤍💜🖤🩶🤍💜
I love not going through relationships drama
I love how I’m attracted to someone based off their personality and characteristics
I love that I’m different , not like the rest
I love that I can focus on my personal passions
I love that I seek deeper connections with people in my life
I Love that the universal standard of life doesn’t weigh on me
I love that I have the time and energy for self care
I love that I can be by myself/ comfortable in my own company

https://redd.it/1p9xhd8
@asexualityonreddit

Unsure if I’m ace or just struggling — need outside perspective

I’ve been having a confusing time with my feelings around sex and intimacy, and I’m not sure if this is an asexuality thing, a comfort/safety thing, or something else entirely. I’d really appreciate outside thoughts.

I’ve been seeing someone casually who’s autistic. We’re not in a relationship (he’s been clear he doesn’t want that), but we’re emotionally close enough that I felt comfortable being honest with him. Lately, as winter hits and my seasonal depression shows up, I’ve been needing more emotional closeness and communication than what we normally have.

I finally opened up to him and explained that sometimes I struggle with sex — I don’t want it, or I feel disconnected from it, but then in the moment I second-guess myself (change my mind and have it anyways). I told him that for now I just want support and to feel safe while I re-learn how to want and enjoy sex again. I also said I’d be happy with just touching ourselves together instead of full sex, and he was very accepting and supportive.

But the bigger issue is: I’m confused about my own sexuality.

I don’t know if I’m actually asexual, or if I’m just having trouble because of past experiences, lack of emotional safety, or general stress. I DO want closeness, touch, connection, affection — but sex itself feels like something I have to” warm up to” mentally, even if I care about the person.
Is this what being ace feels like? Or could this just be trauma, anxiety, or the need for more emotional intimacy before sex feels good?

I’d love any perspectives, especially from people who are asexual or have experienced something similar.


https://redd.it/1p9tqlb
@asexualityonreddit