and block his number.
As a part of this, my stepdad insisted that I get a legal name change to separate it from my father’s name. I was going to wait until I transitioned to get a name change, but I didn’t really have much of a choice here. I said I could just get my name officially changed to D2, but my stepdad insisted that I get it changed to something new. My mom wanted to name me something different before I was born, so that ended up becoming my new name, with me also taking my stepdad’s last name. Since this is my third deadname, I’ll call it D3.
Anyways, I secretly got back into contact with my dad back in mid February after having a sleepover with A the previous night. I explained everything to him, told him about my friendship with A, who was there holding my hand through the entire call, and I came out to him as transgender and he accepted me, and has since become one of my biggest allies.
With the context out of the way, this brings me to the call I got from him before I could contact my mom about getting my important documents. Apparently, my mom had mailed my important documents such as my Social Security Card and my passport to my dad along with a handwritten letter addressed to “D3, D2, whoever you are, and dad’s name”. I was furious, and my dad ended up sending the stuff to A’s house so I could get it. The only thing that was missing was my birth certificate, which I did manage to get from my mom when I went to sign a form at my apartment’s leasing office to get off of my parents’ lease.
My mom and stepdad apparently threw away everything I wasn’t able to take with me, so my mom also gave me an envelope full of cash so I could buy new coats and shoes. I didn’t see my stepdad, luckily, but I had never been so upset at my mom in my life, but I think I hid it pretty well. We didn’t see each other again until the first in-person class we had together in Summer Quarter, and we didn’t really interact or speak to each other in any way. My own mother and I were now treating each other like strangers, and it really hurt.
I ended up dropping both of my Summer classes after four weeks because I couldn’t focus at all and it was severely affecting my performance. After informing my mom of this, and acknowledging that I knew she wouldn’t be paying my tuition anymore, she revealed that she wasn’t planning on doing so regardless, so that’s nice.
Anyways, on to more positive stuff. I managed to open my bank account and I got a new phone plan so I could call people again (I was having to use A’s landline to call my father before). I came out to my grandma and grandpa first, since they’re the members of my mom’s side of the family that I interact with the most. I was nervous since my grandmother voted for Trump 3 times, which I (and my grandpa) still aren’t thrilled about, but both her and my grandpa accepted me, and they have been helping me a lot financially, which I am super grateful for. I also came out to my stepmother while I was talking to my dad, and she accepts me too.
Next I let my aunt and uncle (my mom’s younger sister + her husband) know that I’m trans about a month ago, and it went well. A little under a week ago, I talked with my other uncle and aunt (my mom’s younger brother and his wife), and came out to them as well, so now pretty much my whole family in Florida know I’m trans and they accept me.
I have been getting money from my father and my maternal grandparents, which I have been incredibly grateful for. I also applied for a Student Emergency Grant from my college, which I do not have to pay back. This has allowed me to find a more steady place to live, as A’s mom said that she enjoys having me as a houseguest, but wanted me to know where I was going to live by the end of August, and, as I have said many times, I didn’t want to go back to Florida.
This money has allowed me to rent my own place in Seattle. It’s my own room in a house that is shared by several other women, who are trans friendly, so I have been accepted into the house and all the other women have been very nice to me. Plus,
As a part of this, my stepdad insisted that I get a legal name change to separate it from my father’s name. I was going to wait until I transitioned to get a name change, but I didn’t really have much of a choice here. I said I could just get my name officially changed to D2, but my stepdad insisted that I get it changed to something new. My mom wanted to name me something different before I was born, so that ended up becoming my new name, with me also taking my stepdad’s last name. Since this is my third deadname, I’ll call it D3.
Anyways, I secretly got back into contact with my dad back in mid February after having a sleepover with A the previous night. I explained everything to him, told him about my friendship with A, who was there holding my hand through the entire call, and I came out to him as transgender and he accepted me, and has since become one of my biggest allies.
With the context out of the way, this brings me to the call I got from him before I could contact my mom about getting my important documents. Apparently, my mom had mailed my important documents such as my Social Security Card and my passport to my dad along with a handwritten letter addressed to “D3, D2, whoever you are, and dad’s name”. I was furious, and my dad ended up sending the stuff to A’s house so I could get it. The only thing that was missing was my birth certificate, which I did manage to get from my mom when I went to sign a form at my apartment’s leasing office to get off of my parents’ lease.
My mom and stepdad apparently threw away everything I wasn’t able to take with me, so my mom also gave me an envelope full of cash so I could buy new coats and shoes. I didn’t see my stepdad, luckily, but I had never been so upset at my mom in my life, but I think I hid it pretty well. We didn’t see each other again until the first in-person class we had together in Summer Quarter, and we didn’t really interact or speak to each other in any way. My own mother and I were now treating each other like strangers, and it really hurt.
I ended up dropping both of my Summer classes after four weeks because I couldn’t focus at all and it was severely affecting my performance. After informing my mom of this, and acknowledging that I knew she wouldn’t be paying my tuition anymore, she revealed that she wasn’t planning on doing so regardless, so that’s nice.
Anyways, on to more positive stuff. I managed to open my bank account and I got a new phone plan so I could call people again (I was having to use A’s landline to call my father before). I came out to my grandma and grandpa first, since they’re the members of my mom’s side of the family that I interact with the most. I was nervous since my grandmother voted for Trump 3 times, which I (and my grandpa) still aren’t thrilled about, but both her and my grandpa accepted me, and they have been helping me a lot financially, which I am super grateful for. I also came out to my stepmother while I was talking to my dad, and she accepts me too.
Next I let my aunt and uncle (my mom’s younger sister + her husband) know that I’m trans about a month ago, and it went well. A little under a week ago, I talked with my other uncle and aunt (my mom’s younger brother and his wife), and came out to them as well, so now pretty much my whole family in Florida know I’m trans and they accept me.
I have been getting money from my father and my maternal grandparents, which I have been incredibly grateful for. I also applied for a Student Emergency Grant from my college, which I do not have to pay back. This has allowed me to find a more steady place to live, as A’s mom said that she enjoys having me as a houseguest, but wanted me to know where I was going to live by the end of August, and, as I have said many times, I didn’t want to go back to Florida.
This money has allowed me to rent my own place in Seattle. It’s my own room in a house that is shared by several other women, who are trans friendly, so I have been accepted into the house and all the other women have been very nice to me. Plus,
it’s close to public transit so I can go visit A at any time pretty easily. A’s mom and sister helped me move all my stuff over, but A themself couldn’t come due to health issues. I have been here for a week now and I am loving it here.
I have a job interview on Wednesday (I have enough money set aside for another month’s rent and a couple weeks of groceries, but I definitely need a source of income). I also have a consultation to start hrt in just 4 hours at the time of posting this, so I am thriving. I definitely had a rough few months (in fact, a rough few years), but I am now doing better than ever and am happier than I have been in a long time. It will be a while before I start back up in college, but I am now living on my own terms, and I am so thankful for the support from my family, friends, and roommates, as well as for the comments on my previous posts, as those helped me feel less alone and I think helped me avoid being gaslit. This is probably my last time talking about my stepdad on here, as while I do still have some trauma from the whole situation, I have not heard from him since the night he kicked me out, and I never intend to see or speak to him ever again.
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I have a job interview on Wednesday (I have enough money set aside for another month’s rent and a couple weeks of groceries, but I definitely need a source of income). I also have a consultation to start hrt in just 4 hours at the time of posting this, so I am thriving. I definitely had a rough few months (in fact, a rough few years), but I am now doing better than ever and am happier than I have been in a long time. It will be a while before I start back up in college, but I am now living on my own terms, and I am so thankful for the support from my family, friends, and roommates, as well as for the comments on my previous posts, as those helped me feel less alone and I think helped me avoid being gaslit. This is probably my last time talking about my stepdad on here, as while I do still have some trauma from the whole situation, I have not heard from him since the night he kicked me out, and I never intend to see or speak to him ever again.
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Inspired by a recent thread about words allos use for dirty stuff
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I was typing Fiancé and autocorrect kept correcting it to Finances
Does it suspect I am ace.
Disclaimer: I know there are aces in relationships and who have Fiancé. Don’t come at me just for fun.
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Does it suspect I am ace.
Disclaimer: I know there are aces in relationships and who have Fiancé. Don’t come at me just for fun.
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what it's like to watch a movie as an asexual person and an 18+ scene comes on
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I quilted an asexual flag colored korean-ish wrapping cloth (bojagi) for my half-korean, fully asexual friend.
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From the Asexual community on Reddit: I quilted an asexual flag colored korean-ish wrapping cloth (bojagi) for my half-korean,…
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She's a different kind of asexual. Damnit...
So I met my primary partner about 3 months ago and it's been great. When we first hooked up we realized we were both sex favorable aces which was great. Not always in the mood and when our "ace cycles" don't align were understanding. I'm cold at first but I become very affectionate when I get close to someone. Kissing hand holding etc, sans PDA, as it still gets to me.
For awhile I've felt like the physical affection has been one sided, though there's plenty of other types that I have in spades. Today was different. I learned the other day that kissing can easily overstimulated her and I've been trying to be conscious of it. We kissed and when we stopped I tried to peck her cheek, like i normally do, and that was a mistake. She (understandably) freaked out thinking I was trying to kiss her lips and pushed me off and got very upset. I took full responsibility, apologized and did everything i could think of to right my wrong. She forgave me immediately.
She got out of my car and we've been talking over the past few hours. She finally admitted to being afraid of physical affection and said it was part of her asexuality. I don't understand how it works but I don't need to know either, I can respect it. But now I'm worried we're not compatible. I agreed I'd let her initiate all physical things but I don't know if i can handle that in the long term. I feel like I'm falling into some bad patterns again (yay trauma) and that scares me. I don't know what to do. I love her, but I have my own needs to feel like I'm in a healthy relationship that probably won't be met.
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So I met my primary partner about 3 months ago and it's been great. When we first hooked up we realized we were both sex favorable aces which was great. Not always in the mood and when our "ace cycles" don't align were understanding. I'm cold at first but I become very affectionate when I get close to someone. Kissing hand holding etc, sans PDA, as it still gets to me.
For awhile I've felt like the physical affection has been one sided, though there's plenty of other types that I have in spades. Today was different. I learned the other day that kissing can easily overstimulated her and I've been trying to be conscious of it. We kissed and when we stopped I tried to peck her cheek, like i normally do, and that was a mistake. She (understandably) freaked out thinking I was trying to kiss her lips and pushed me off and got very upset. I took full responsibility, apologized and did everything i could think of to right my wrong. She forgave me immediately.
She got out of my car and we've been talking over the past few hours. She finally admitted to being afraid of physical affection and said it was part of her asexuality. I don't understand how it works but I don't need to know either, I can respect it. But now I'm worried we're not compatible. I agreed I'd let her initiate all physical things but I don't know if i can handle that in the long term. I feel like I'm falling into some bad patterns again (yay trauma) and that scares me. I don't know what to do. I love her, but I have my own needs to feel like I'm in a healthy relationship that probably won't be met.
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I’m lesbian and asexual
So, I’m lesbian but I’ve had some trauma in the past so I don’t want to have sex. I love my girlfriend a lot, but I just don’t want to have sex with her but I still want to kiss her (probably), do any other asexuals kiss and not have sex?
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So, I’m lesbian but I’ve had some trauma in the past so I don’t want to have sex. I love my girlfriend a lot, but I just don’t want to have sex with her but I still want to kiss her (probably), do any other asexuals kiss and not have sex?
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Having any libido is just hell
I wish I could go back to my previous antidepressants, but they had other unfortunate side effects, and medical practitioners seem to think anything that would reduce it must be a horrible thing.
I hate it, it's not even like a need so much as it's like intrusive thoughts. I don't want myself involved in any way in anything sexual for various reasons but I still get stupid compulsions where I get stuck on it like I frequently do on passing thoughts. I hate masturbation, it's so unproductive and bothersome but it's the only way to get rid of this shit in the moment, even if I'll be actively disgusted by it.
Like, why, it's not like it serves any evolutionary purpose in my case, I have no intention of ever reproducing. And there's absolutely nothing to be done about it. One more reason I fucking hate so much as having a body at all.
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I wish I could go back to my previous antidepressants, but they had other unfortunate side effects, and medical practitioners seem to think anything that would reduce it must be a horrible thing.
I hate it, it's not even like a need so much as it's like intrusive thoughts. I don't want myself involved in any way in anything sexual for various reasons but I still get stupid compulsions where I get stuck on it like I frequently do on passing thoughts. I hate masturbation, it's so unproductive and bothersome but it's the only way to get rid of this shit in the moment, even if I'll be actively disgusted by it.
Like, why, it's not like it serves any evolutionary purpose in my case, I have no intention of ever reproducing. And there's absolutely nothing to be done about it. One more reason I fucking hate so much as having a body at all.
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Advice requested. I believe my girlfriend is asexual.
We've been dating 3-4 months and love each other. I'm 26 M she's 23 F, i've dated many women and never had this level of emotional intimacy ever.
We both find each other very physically attractive. But she is not a physically affectionate person. She is often uncomfortable with hugs. She has never liked making out. And she was a virgin prior to meeting me. I'm the first person she ever wanted to try having sex with. She previously had a deep fear of intimacy.
She thinks she might be bisexual. She is diagnosed with bipolar disorder and is on medication which may suppress her libido. She has been sexually aroused during masturbation but never with another person. We waited 3 months before trying anything sexually and we've now explored several PIV positions, oral stimulation, fingering, vibrators, combinations of these, and unfortunately nothing has made her feel anything beyond a little ticklish. We laugh and have fun while doing it, crack up every time one of us tries to dirty talk lol. And she really wants to explore this stuff for herself and try to make it work for me because she's told me she feels the same way I do about our relationship. I communicated to her that I am in no rush for anything sexually but she has initiated sex several times now and she tries so hard to make it enjoyable for me.
I just worry that going forward a sex life with her might not be sustainable if I'm the only one who's getting any sexual arousal from it. And honestly it's actually difficult for me to really get into it when I'm constantly thinking about her difficulties with sex in the moment.
Any suggestions for how we should navigate this? She is my number 1 priority I've never cared this much for a person in my whole life so I would never forgive myself if this was hurting her in any way physically or mentally. But it would be so meaningful if we could find a way to have a healthy sex life together, she wants it so badly for us. She's told me she's felt safe and had fun every time we've done it but I worry if it might not be as fun for her after it's not new to her anymore if she's still not getting close to climaxing.
EDIT: The thing she said that made me think she might have some form of asexual nature is that she has difficulty being sexually aroused when she's with another person. It's almost like it distracts her because it takes the focus off of her own pleasure.
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We've been dating 3-4 months and love each other. I'm 26 M she's 23 F, i've dated many women and never had this level of emotional intimacy ever.
We both find each other very physically attractive. But she is not a physically affectionate person. She is often uncomfortable with hugs. She has never liked making out. And she was a virgin prior to meeting me. I'm the first person she ever wanted to try having sex with. She previously had a deep fear of intimacy.
She thinks she might be bisexual. She is diagnosed with bipolar disorder and is on medication which may suppress her libido. She has been sexually aroused during masturbation but never with another person. We waited 3 months before trying anything sexually and we've now explored several PIV positions, oral stimulation, fingering, vibrators, combinations of these, and unfortunately nothing has made her feel anything beyond a little ticklish. We laugh and have fun while doing it, crack up every time one of us tries to dirty talk lol. And she really wants to explore this stuff for herself and try to make it work for me because she's told me she feels the same way I do about our relationship. I communicated to her that I am in no rush for anything sexually but she has initiated sex several times now and she tries so hard to make it enjoyable for me.
I just worry that going forward a sex life with her might not be sustainable if I'm the only one who's getting any sexual arousal from it. And honestly it's actually difficult for me to really get into it when I'm constantly thinking about her difficulties with sex in the moment.
Any suggestions for how we should navigate this? She is my number 1 priority I've never cared this much for a person in my whole life so I would never forgive myself if this was hurting her in any way physically or mentally. But it would be so meaningful if we could find a way to have a healthy sex life together, she wants it so badly for us. She's told me she's felt safe and had fun every time we've done it but I worry if it might not be as fun for her after it's not new to her anymore if she's still not getting close to climaxing.
EDIT: The thing she said that made me think she might have some form of asexual nature is that she has difficulty being sexually aroused when she's with another person. It's almost like it distracts her because it takes the focus off of her own pleasure.
https://redd.it/1ncj8et
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