Is he autosexual?

So the other night we had s$x (neither one of us finished). Shortly after my bf decided to tell me that he wanted to go home and have some personal/private time and then wanted to come back later at his discretion after he had that time to himself.
Isn't that fc*n odd or what?? ?
How do you react or what would you suggest. He admitted that he wanted personal private time to just touch himself which he gets I very aroused by that and he doesn't finish himself off. He doesn't watch p***. he does not have a phone and he just plays & gets so turned on by the look n feel of his d**k. He has done this beside me too.l which I find hot but he wanted some private time and then he wanted to come back to me and be with me we did not have s*x after that I was quite turned off this time. He interrupted OUR time together to go home, play alone and come back. Figures that because he doesn't c*m often while doing this, it doesn't count as 'whatever'.
He says doing this beside me sometimes makes him embarrassed. sometimes. He will ask me to hold it, but has to be a certain way, and he will get himself hard, then say he needs to put it in right away before he loses it!!!. He is quite jealous of the men in p*** because he thinks they all have big pe*en and yet he is a 6" long and 5" girth so he's very well endowed for my liking. I'm the one instigating the p**n as well. He's very good in bed but he does some times have an issue with ED I believe it is from the emotional stress to perform. And worried someone may be listening.
He just can't stay hard.
He will get hard and then we will start and then he will go soft I take it personally. I'm thinking that everyone would but I am not sure how to respond and deal with this whole thing yet he loves me and he cares for me.
We are 6 mths in.
I say that I can't get him aroused and I'm not vanilla I've been to the clubs, the lifestyle with my exes I'm very adventurous. He will not leave the bedroom, he will not change up positions. I want to go outdoors, lots of fun, change things up, positions and foreplay he does enjoy foreplay and enjoys going 'downtown' on me. He's never had a full b***job in his life so I pressure him, I want to do it I love doing it I get aroused doing it but he has never had one to completion and the most that he has ever had is what I've done for him so I don't know how to take this all I'm kind of at the end of my rope really.
suggestions or ideas?
I'd never cheat either.

50 yrs old male
51 female

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My husband says he is asexual

My husband says he believes he is asexual. I believe he is right… he’s never really initiated sex. He says he never really thinks about it. He doesn’t say he doesn’t find me attractive but he doesn’t see me in a sense of “sexual”. I pretty much I’ve always had to beg or initiate and when it happens it seems like a favor for me.

My issue is I could tell the connection wasn’t mutual. No passion etc. I love him SO SO much and I can accept he is asexual but I’m not sure if I can stay with him because of my needs for intimacy on a sexual level.

He is my best friend and he’s a great person. I guess I just need some advice here.

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I hate feeling horny, and I wish I can make it dissappear. Any way to help?

So I'm (17 F) and i hate when I have THAT feeling "down there" and I wish I can make it go away, i talked to my grandmother and she said it was normal for people to have these feelings but when I do, I feel disgusted and horrible. I don't (and will never) masterbate because the concept of anything that isn't a pad or tissue touching down there makes me physically sick. I genuinely don't know what to do, to remedied this and honestly thinking of maybe getting a surgery to like, idk cut out my uterus or clitours. I'm just desperate for this feeling to E N D. I fucking hate myself every time this happens and I just lay in my bed feeling miserable and wanting to throw up. It's like a bad stomach ache that doesn't ache, please help! Any suggestions or ways to make this feeling go away will help

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A meme I made about my personal experience with being ace but also wanting to experience pregnancy
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Them: “So how did you figure out you were Ace?” - My teenage crushes:
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If you are ACE have you opened your relationship?

I 26M have been going out with a 24F for 2 years. The relationship is great, however the sexual aspect not so much. It’s always been terrible.

When we do have sex, I literally just put it in and don’t move. Being used like a dildo and it’s just shit for me. But even that never happens. We have realised my partner is asexual.

I’m a hyper sexual and we have both discussed that it might be best that I have sex with other people.

Are there many ACE people who have open relationships?
How would you feel if your partner had sex with someone else?
If you have opened a relationship, how did it feel?


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Are people really as horny as they are on tv?

I watched traitors which lead me to loving Kate so I had to watch below deck and oh my god I'm on the third season and everyone is so horny and wanting to sleep with everyone, even cheating on partners (Ben and Kat slept together season 2 idc) and as someone who is on the asexual spectrum (idk what I am and I've never been too keen to figure it out) it just seems like a lot. Like are people really this horny and sleeping together all the time?

I know this is the wrong people to be asking as I assume the majority of you are asexual/on the asexual spectrum but like idk where else to put these thoughts down/ask this question

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Why is sex so important?

Why is sex so damn important for people, I don’t get it. I think it’s so boring and weird, it’s overstimulating and messy. It’s annoying seeing sex in shows I watch, like, why is it sooooo important to show sex in shows and movies.
Everyone is so obsessed with sex. It’s horrible.

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Very relatable
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Platonic crush

I've been single for most of my adult life. My last serious relationship was with a woman and lasted 4 yrs. Its hard for me to like someone, especially in a romantic way. Lately I've been having a platonic crush in someone but a couple of weeks ago I got jealous about her being flirty with others and I got all confused. I like her but never actually imagined myself with her as a couple, neither hugging or kissing or more, aww not! I just liked her but in a non sexual way, so these new feelings are totally new.
Has anyone had something like that?

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TW: Questions about bdsm.

Hi, so I am one of those asexual people who are into BDSM. I was curious to know if anyone else was into the more extreme sides of it in a non-sexual aspect. If there were aces who dived into the more sadistic or masochistic side of things without wanting or needing any kind of sexual engagement. I really don’t want to get into an allo relationship again but I do worry that some of the things that I enjoy I may never get to see again due to being ace. So, just curious and wanted to see if there were other people like me here.

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Made an ace ring
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Sex-favorable + aesthetic attraction, but NOT sexual attraction - can anyone else relate?

Reposted due to title error.

Male married to a female here. I am asexual, and appear to be "sex favorable" if that makes sense. We have sex, it feels good....when it happens. Zero "pull" "draw" or feeling of "I need to get some of that". I can relate to an occasional "itch" feeling when we haven't had sex for a while. Sex is kindof mechanical, but pleasant mechanical, and there are emotional/bonding feelings.

Now when I see a woman, I can feel (and have felt) "she is beautiful", gorgeous, pretty, or similar adjectives. I may even have "a type" or certain aspects I like more than others.

Here is where I sometimes get confused - I can see a woman who is aesthetically beautiful and think "she looks athletic, so if we hypothetically had sex it would be fun", or "she is a gymnast and flexible, so if we hypthetically had sex it would be fun", "If we were married, sex would be fun", "her skin looks really soft, it probably feels soft too". I could go on about various features but you get the point.

It is almost like when people think "that person's tall, it may be difficult to hug them at times". Or, "sex will be different with a tall person, short person, etc".

I should clarify there is ZERO arousal. It is completely observational (I am not checking anyone out). I am simply saying I can recognize that sex would be different with different people based on physical features, if that makes sense.

A non-sexual example would be like someone thinking "they are tall, dancing together may be challenging depending on the dance" or "they are very flexible, so we can do all of those acrobatic dances if we danced together"

I have only had one sexual partner so I have no reference points.

Can anyone else relate? Does this still sound like asexuality? The combination of sex-favorable-ness and aesthetic appeal almost seems like it could mimic sexual attraction. There is still no "feeling hot" "ravenous hunger" or similar feeling, though.

Edit: Asexuality wise - I do not seem to feel that "pull" towards sex. I never feel my body having hot flushes. I never see a woman and have to "fan" myself. I never have a feeling of "ravenous hunger" in my nether regions. I never feel that I need to "ravage" or "do it" (not "have sex" or "make love", but apparently some people want to do someone, if that makes sense?).

Now, I can see a woman and acknowledge she is beautiful, and have certain aspects I even like more than others, but it never makes me want to get some of that, if that makes sense.


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Ive been designing my own ace ring
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Look who I brought back :)
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Ive been designing my own ace ring
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crush advice..

i have a crush on a friend who i have liked for a while now . she is also ace and has expressed what she wants in a relationship, which is very similar to me . we both want a relationship that is more of a partnership with emotional intimacy over physical at the center of it something like just being each others person . i have never met anyone so similar to me not only in how we view relationships way but with so many other things . i wish i could fully express how much she means to me and i wish i knew how to go forward without seeming too much . i am away at college and she lives back home a few hours away, and i know she is busy and cannot talk to me all the time but when we do i could never be happier because of how much joy she brings into my life . i am just unsure how to go forward knowing she wants the same things i do without compromising anything but i do want her to know eventually because she is someone i want to keep in my life regardless even if it doesn’t work out in the way i want it to. i tend to overthink way too much so i guess i am just looking for advice or similar experiences with this kinda of thing of how to move forward or ask her out , the timeline of it .. i can’t really ask my friends because they may not fully understand this kind of relationship and how the dynamics may be different than the typical relationships they have idk

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Am I Asexual?

If you are questioning whether or not you are asexual (including all microlabels), reply to this post with what made you start questioning, and why.

If you are too shy to post a reply, then you can scroll through the responses for the advice you may be searching for.

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Antidepressants/anti anxiety medication made me feel sexual attraction? Confused

I found out about asexuality a few years ago, and have identified as ever since I found out. I would always say that theoretically I’m not sex repulsed, and I could potentially have sex with a partner, but as soon as I feel that they start expecting it or wanting it from me, that goes out the window and I can’t handle it. I felt like asexual was the word I was looking for my whole life, I have never been interested or felt the need to have sex. I’m a 24 year old virgin and I don’t care that I’m a virgin, if anything I would feel actually kinda scared when I thought about having sex. (Some of this may be due to religion brainwashing lol)

However recently, I started an antidepressant and anti anxiety medication for the first time. I had been having a hard time at work, and after talking to friends and family I finally decided to stop trying to struggle through it lol. They have helped a lot, but all of a sudden I am feeling sexual attraction? I have never felt this before and it’s really weird 😭 I wonder if my specific case of asexuality was due to me being depressed or super anxious. I am feeling it esp toward one of my friends that I’ve had a crush on, and I really hate it 🥲 I feel like a weird horny freak!

Has anybody else experienced this? All I can find about it is antidepressants suppressing people’s libido/sexual attraction, not the other way around? I’m super confused. Am I even asexual anymore? 😭

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does anyone else find themselves to force themself to want attention from other people?

For context, I'm F19, sex-averse, and I live in a college dorm with 3 other girls who are straight and allosexual/romantic. They're all attractive and what society would call the norm.

I know I'm ace, but I've been so confused on if I'm aro or not because I don't know if I'm just forcing myself to want attention from guys or if I actually want their attention. I'm just an indecisive person in general, but there are so many things I go back and forth on. Like if I'm romantically attracted to guys or if I only feel like I do because I want to fit in with everyone around me. OR if I'm only doubting my romantic feelings because I know I'm not conventionally attractive and I get no reciprocated feelings. Does that even make sense?

Anyways, this year I've started adding guys on snap and talking to them and scoping out cute guys with my roommates, but I literally can't decide if I actually want that or if I'm just desperate to fit in with them. I know I've also just half given up on myself finding someone because the ace community is so small and I feel like I'd never find an allo guy who's find with a sexless relationship.

Thanks for any advice you can give <3

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Does anyone else experience demisexuality in this way?

I’m curious whether anyone else experiences their demisexuality the way I do:

I often hear folks on the aro/ace spectrum describe their sexuality in terms that can be characterized as “not as much”. E.g. not as much attraction, not as much interest as allo folks, or lack of interest/attractions on occasions where allo folks might have it. I sort of relate to that in general. My interest seems a bit less than most allo folks I know.

But my demi identity is experienced as “more than”. I.e. It can lead me to be interested at times when an allo person might not be. I hear (and have seen) a lot of allo people give up on someone if they don’t have the spark the first they meet or they don’t experience “chemistry” (whatever that is) on the first date. I have many times had the experience of not being attracted to a person at first, but as they begin to mean something to me, an attraction grows where it wasn’t before. It has even happened with people whose gender presentation isn’t normally one that would get me to notice them physically.

For this reason, I’m inclined to continue dating and getting to know someone for whom I don’t initially feel something if they seem like a decent person and are good company. I can end up feeling something for someone where an allo person who expects a quicker spark would have given up.

In that sense, my demisexuality leads me to be *more* interested than an allo person might be, instead of less.

Do any other folks experience their demisexuality as a “more than” rather than a “not as much”?

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