Questioning

I’ve started questioning myself yesterday. Could i be asexual? This is how i feel: It’s like i dont get a signal sent to me that i’m “horny”. I never looked at people/partners and think “i want to have sex”, it was more like a random decision that was made, and what was expected of me in a relationship. Even with self pleasure, i just randomly decide to do it, which was the biggest indicator to me that i may be asexual. I don’t feel tingly for it or crave it or anything like that. I do enjoy the feel of self pleasure, but i could go the rest of my life without having actual sex with someone with no problem because i just don’t desire it. Self pleasure is like a chore as well for me, just to get it over with. I’ve kinda felt that way about sex in my past relationships too. Like, okay “let’s do this” but i’m ready for it to be over. Also, with self pleasure, i’ve mostly always focused on the outside, rather than any penetration. Lastly, I can admire the aesthetic/look of a human body, but at the same time human bodies are weird to me. Thoughts??

https://redd.it/1mv0rcd
@asexualityonreddit

I have given up on dating. I'm tired

Last week, I went on a date with a guy. We went bowling, he brought me beautiful flowers, we had fun he respected me, and were really hitting it off.

At least, so I thought.

He just blocked me on all socials. With no reason. Even after saying he was looking forward to a second date.

This happens every time and I'm tired. I'm sick and tired of being taken for granted every time. It's exhausting. I quit dating.


I read all the romance books and watch these romantic movies and shows like "XO Kitty" or "The Summer I Turned Pretty" hoping and wishing and praying for my turn.

But I'm 21 and I have learned life ain't like the movies or books. Love isn't for everyone. And maybe romance just isn't in my cards. That's alright, I'll love myself even more now, more than any man ever could. I'm gonna be just fine. 💜

https://redd.it/1mv2s9l
@asexualityonreddit

Leave me alone plz
https://redd.it/1mv4mel
@asexualityonreddit

Asexual
https://redd.it/1mv3txh
@asexualityonreddit

i think that the ace community has something against sex repulsed aces and im tired of them pretending they dont

so, whoever needs to hear this:
i dont think youre lesser of a person for being a virgin, i dont think youre lesser of a person for "being a prude", i dont think youre lesser of a person for being "vanilla", i dont think youre "boring", i dont think youre lesser of a person or weird for being uncomfortable with sex or talking about sex, i dont think youre "sex negative" for disliking sex and sexual topics, i dont think youre less of a person for criticizing something sexual-related, i dont think youre less of a person for wanting to be in a space without sexual topics popping up, i dont think youre a bad person for feeling grossed out by sexual atteaction being expressed in your direction, i dont think youre lesser of a person for having boundaries, i dont think youre less deserving of love for wanting to be in a sexless relationship

https://redd.it/1mvclet
@asexualityonreddit

Any asexuals who feels overwhelming love towards ppl?


Ok so, i might have asked a question IF asexuals can feel that way, but never have i asked abt how annoying it feels ( this is my opinion dw )

https://www.reddit.com/r/asexuality/s/ajN4ySicj6


Like..Yeah it feels good but the annoying part is how i mistake it with sexual attraction bc of how my enviorment describes it as getting close to someone and thats it expected to lead it to sexual acts ( it doesnt matter how non-sexual it is. It will be percieved that way….i wanna move to planet mars )


I usually feel this with sensual attraction bc its the strongest attraction i feel and relate to. I usually use sensual attraction as examples a lot since its the only attraction i understand ( which made someone upset Idk. They mentioned me to stop using sensual attraction as an example of non-sexual attraction which is understandable bc there is many types of attractions that are non-sexual instead of sensual )


Like..i could feel cuteness aggression/overwhelming love towards someone to the point that i would scream. But then i get a slap of reality check and realized if i would ever be in a relationship where i crave non- sexual touches, this would be misunderstood. Like…They would expect it to lead it to more than just cuddles/kisses. Like…CMON MAN.


Now look, i have no problem with ppl who crave more than just cuddles. The only problem i have is how its gonna be so hard to find a relationship that isnt sexual…


Heck, i noticed that every sensual touches( yes i mentions sensual, i am sorry ) like kisses, cuddles and all. Its always assumed to be lead to sexual acts. And if you dont then you are somehow ‘’ leading on ‘’ ( i have heard it everywhere…idk if i am crazy or something i am sorry )


And i have this weird feeling that everytime sensual acts gets oversexualized that it caused me to not enjoy it anymore for how it is so…sexualized.


Idk if i am wrong or something like that. I hope it doesnt sound sex-negative ( bc i hate purity culture and negativity towards sex and sexuality ). Bc i dont want it to sound like that yk. I dont think sexual acts are bad bc its technically not. I just hate how everything is percieved as only sexual and nothing else.


I feel left out, idk.

I just want some love that doesnt have sex in it but its so hard bc its expected. I just also want to love someone ovewhelmingly without them thinking that means in trying to lead into sex.


Does anyone feel that way?
I just dont want to be alone on this and Thats why i asked ig. Sooo yeah, does anyone feel that way?




https://redd.it/1mvcgw2
@asexualityonreddit

Any advice for frustrated asexual?

Hi everyone. I'm in low mood and my writing can be not very clear, sorry in advance.

I just feel so lonely and tired. I'm asian female in late 20's and left my home country because there was full of homophobic/misogyny and social norms about normalities, which I really hated. I arrived western country with a hope that here is different but it's pretty same. The only difference is many ppl at least pretends to not be homophobic etc, but I've found out it's just different kind of biases. Many people still don't know what asexual is, and I have no energy to explain.

I'm sure I'm asexual. I don't feel sexual attraction and not interested in engaging activities. I'm not sure about if I'm aromantic or not tho, since I met a guy and having a quite good relationship. At first I thought this might be right person for me, maybe I can have partner that I fantasized, but I'm not sure anymore. He's not asexual but we talked well so it's not problem(I hope so). Problem is, whenever I talk with him about men/women things and gender, queerness and equality, he just tires me out. All conversations become debate even when it isn't debatable idea for me. It might be his trying to understand but I'm tired of it. I want someone who has similar level of understanding with me. I want friends who can talk without debate, without trying hard to make them understand basic things. Sometimes when I'm really tired I think of putting an end of this relationship, but he's already precious friend for me and I must feel lonely again in this foreign country, more than before.

I want my people. I miss my ace, feminist friends in my home country. But I can't go back because I know it's not my place. Maybe I'm not good at meeting right people for me. My friends here are super interested in dating and I get loads of questions everyday, somthing like "why you don't make boyfriend", "I know a guy who's interested in you" I'm sick of being someone's potential girlfriend or available woman. I met some queer friends and they're nice, but I feel distant when they talk about dating and sex, and they talk about it a lot.

I don't even know what advice I want to get in here. Maybe something like, where can I meet ace friends, but not for dating? How to find like-minded people? But I also know making friend is up to personality, not really sexuality only. And I'm genereally not good at making friends. I don't know anything anymore and I feel lonely and there's no place for me. Maybe I just wanted to say to someone.

https://redd.it/1mvf8s2
@asexualityonreddit

I swear fate doesn't want me to wear an ace ring [trigger warning: blood]
https://redd.it/1mvd9os
@asexualityonreddit