i’m sick of being made to feel like a puritan for being repulsed by sex

for context, i’m a 27 year old grey ace trans woman.

it seems that every online and irl “space” i can find to socialize with other queer and trans people is extremely sexual. they often tend to be dominated by casual flirting or regaling tales of sexual experiences, and these interactions are very triggering; frankly, i find folks discussing their sex lives to be disgusting irrespective of the dynamics, sources, or details.

i’m appreciative of the few ace friends and groups i have, but nowhere else has proven to be safe or willing to accommodate. it feels to me like an extension of most of society’s failure to be truly inclusive and tendency to tailor things to the most common experience. i understand many queer people historically have been and are still forced to repress their sexualities, and feel a desire to discuss their sex lives as freely as cis hetero people get to, or even just at all, but i can’t turn off the part of my brain that despises the normality of sexual discussion as a whole.

i can appreciate that for some, sexuality is truly a pillar of their expression, and i can’t argue against that meaningfully. nothing can be perfectly tailored to everyone and this is one of the many cases where a fractional group is not taken into consideration because of a perceived unrealistic level of commitment or change required from the rest of the community, but it is still hurtful and isolating.

this last bit is quite catty: i also just find it boring. why are we talking about, like, the default thing our instincts and existence have driven us to do instead of something more interesting or novel or inventive?

https://redd.it/1m18s26
@asexualityonreddit

Thought this belongs here
https://redd.it/1m1a3jz
@asexualityonreddit

being an asexual lesbian is so isolating. i am forever alone 😭

i am so darn lonely. i dream of having a girlfriend to love who will love me too and be everything to each other than any other couple is just without the sex part. i am gona be 44 next month and i feel like my time is truly running out on finding my soulmate 💔

https://redd.it/1m1bwrc
@asexualityonreddit

my counselor is not understanding me

so i go to a counselor at my psychiatric clinic and we just talk about life and stuff and i brought up the fact that i recently came to acceptance of being asexual, she completely shattered all my pride though.. she told me its sad that i cant see that humans bodies are beautiful and that i should maybe ”explore” myself as in touching my skin and bodyparts whilst putting on a lotion or something to ”connect” with myself and that its sad that i am 24 and havent felt the ”pleasures” of life… whilst i am also trans and feel very very uncomfortable in my own feminine body :/ so yeah… i like her other than that but yeaaaah… idk. ew. first month as a newly discovered asexual and i am already getting told i can be fixed.

https://redd.it/1m1dp4n
@asexualityonreddit

Okay rude
https://redd.it/1m1ciiq
@asexualityonreddit

I got my ace ring 🥳
https://redd.it/1m195si
@asexualityonreddit

I just wanted some marshmallows damn it...
https://redd.it/1m1euti
@asexualityonreddit

How did you people figured it out?

Genuine question. How does one even figure out if they’re ace or just not interested yet?

I’ve been wondering for a while and I think I might be on the asexual spectrum. But I have no Idea how to sort of confirm it with myself? Since I’m a high school student, I’m wondering, many people would say “you’re just too young to want it” but am I really? Sorry if this doesn’t make any sense, I’m kinda horrible at forming sentences.

But my question is, how and when did you all figure out you’re ace?

https://redd.it/1m1j0iy
@asexualityonreddit

Newly Realised I’m Asexual — Still Learning What That Means in My Relationship

I (F23) and my partner (F25) have been together just over a year. I recently realised I’m asexual. I’ve never been overly interested in sex and sometimes even kissing, and although I care deeply for my girlfriend and love spending time together, the physical stuff just doesn’t come naturally or often for me.

My girlfriend is sexual, though she’s very understanding. We’ve had honest talks and she says she doesn’t need sex often and reassures me that I’m enough — and I believe her, I really do. I just sometimes feel guilty that I can’t give her what she might want more of. I want to want it more — I just don’t.

At the start of our relationship I was very physical and affectionate, but that faded with time — same in my past relationship. I now realise I might have been masking or misinterpreting my feelings. I’d love to hear from anyone else who’s felt this way. Is it normal to still want to be affectionate emotionally, but feel little to no physical desire? Does anyone else feel like they’re not “enough” for their partner?

I guess I’m just trying to find my place and feel less alone in this. Thank you in advance 💜

https://redd.it/1m1ih2j
@asexualityonreddit

The bisexual sitting meme also apparently applies to aces and aros. Got a solid laugh the first time I heard about it because I also sit like a maniac.
https://redd.it/1m1l9zs
@asexualityonreddit

Are You Aro (Advice)?

**Hi everyone!**



Welcome to our weekly Advice post about Aromanticism! Aromantic people experience little to no romantic attraction.



**Do any of these resonate with you?**

\* You rarely (if ever) experience crushes on others.

\* You find the idea of a romantic relationship unappealing, and prefer strong platonic bonds.

\* You've been in romantic relationships but felt like you were going through the motions.

\* You've researched what crushes are "supposed" to feel like, but can't relate.



These are just a few signs you might be Aromantic. Aromanticism is a spectrum, and every person's experience is unique.



\*\*Have questions about aromanticism or your own identity?\*\* Ask away in the comments below, and we'll and your fellow Aro’s will do the best to help!

* [**More signs that you are Aro**](https://aromanticguide.com/am-i-aro)

* [**Honeymoon Phase**](https://health.clevelandclinic.org/what-is-the-honeymoon-phase)

* [**Types of attraction (might be incomplete)**](https://types-of-attraction.carrd.co/)

https://redd.it/1m1ofha
@asexualityonreddit

Is it really that rare to want love without sex?

Sometimes I wonder if I'm asking for too much.

I’m an asexual guy who dreams of love — real, deep emotional love — but without sex or physical expectations. No kids, no traditional roles. Just two people choosing each other every day, sharing life and supporting one another.

But where I live (for example, Algeria), I feel like that’s almost impossible to find. People here don’t even know what asexuality is, let alone accept it. Everything seems to revolve around sex, marriage, and having children.

Is there anyone out there who also feels like this?
Is it really that rare to want companionship without sex?

https://redd.it/1m1paio
@asexualityonreddit

Confused about HRT and how it made me suddenly stop experiencing sexual attraction (as well as just being confused about my asexuality)

Okay so I've been a bit confused recently about how exactly I figured out I was asexual and the time between then and now. Because 8 months ago I started HRT and had a sudden drop in libido which made me start to question if I was asexual, I then noticed that I also didn't find anyone visually sexually attractive anymore or have any sort of desire for sex. This has changed a bit now and I think I've figured out that I'm demisexual/greyasexual, however I'm still just really confused how this happened so quickly when I started HRT. I also still cannot find anyone visually sexually attractive which is something I was able to feel very easily before. And I instead find that my sexual attraction and desire to have sex with a specific person is completely based on emotional connection rather than visuals.

I was mostly just wandering if anyone has had a similar sort of experience or could maybe know what is going on, thanks :))

https://redd.it/1m1qt3b
@asexualityonreddit

Went on a hot topic spree and look what I found! My new favourite shirt and it’s ace merch too!
https://redd.it/1m1rs9a
@asexualityonreddit

Newly realised I’m asexual and feeling a little confused and guilty

I (F23) and my partner (F25) have been together just over a year. I recently realised I’m asexual. I’ve never been overly interested in sex and sometimes even kissing, and although I care deeply for my girlfriend and love spending time together, the physical stuff just doesn’t come naturally or often for me.

My girlfriend is sexual, though she’s very understanding. We’ve had honest talks and she says she doesn’t need sex often and reassures me that I’m enough — and I believe her, I really do. I just sometimes feel guilty that I can’t give her what she might want more of. I want to want it more — I just don’t.

At the start of our relationship I was very physical and affectionate, but that faded with time — same in my past relationship. I now realise I might have been masking or misinterpreting my feelings. I’d love to hear from anyone else who’s felt this way. Is it normal to still want to be affectionate emotionally, but feel little to no physical desire? Does anyone else feel like they’re not “enough” for their partner?

I guess I’m just trying to find my place and feel less alone in this. Thank you in advance 💜

https://redd.it/1m1r6sl
@asexualityonreddit

Okay, I'm confused

I just recently started thinking about the fact that I may be asexual. And even after reading some other posts I'm still a little confused 😅 I've never been sexually attracted to anyone but I am Biromantic. I mean I am intimate with myself, but even then I still don't feel anything. Is that normal?



https://redd.it/1m1niz8
@asexualityonreddit

Ace ring acquired!
https://redd.it/1m1w2bq
@asexualityonreddit

Is my partner really asexual?

So basically: My partner (M19) and I (F19) have been together for 2 years now. In the beginning we were intimate a lot and it was something he always mentioned he enjoyed a lot (although it was always about HIS kinks and stuff, otherwise he wouldn't enjoy it really). Well we almost broke up once because he thought he was gay and therefore he "tried to be intimate with a guy. That really hurt me a lot and we had some issues after that. Sex became less and less frequent until we recently had a talk again. Basically it's about him not feeling sexually attracted to me (which was a talk initiated by me). He has a great problem distinguishing between what's fantasy and what he wants irl. He told me he basically only finds trans women with dick attractive. I told him then that's what he should be dating instead of making me feel unattractive and like a piece of shit. He claims to not know if that's what he really wants and still loves me very much and thinks iam attractive. My first thought was: that boy definitely watched too much porn. Well now he wants an asexual relationship (and monogamous, which is the only option for me, really) and idk how to feel about that considering the fact he basically is aroused by trans women and porn but iam bot enough?? idk what this is but it really doesn't sound much like asexuality to me.

Edit: I have no problem with asexuality at all. I don't quite enjoy sex as much myself. I just have a weird feeling about this.

https://redd.it/1m1zj8d
@asexualityonreddit

Whats yalls opinion on young asexuals?

Im asexual and I discovered it a few months ago, but im 15. I think its fine, but what are yalls thoughts?

https://redd.it/1m209c8
@asexualityonreddit

Whats yalls opinion on young asexuals?

I discovered I was asexual a few months ago, and im 15. I mean I think its fine but what do yall think about it??

https://redd.it/1m1xkm1
@asexualityonreddit

I forgot my ring today so I completed my work outfit with my brACElet instead 😎
https://redd.it/1m22th4
@asexualityonreddit