I'm ace, my partner isn't, how do you guys handle it?
Title. I have no idea how to handle this situation. I'm strictly monogamous, and very much so asexual, and I do not know how to satisfy both our wants
https://redd.it/1lyz5rb
@asexualityonreddit
Title. I have no idea how to handle this situation. I'm strictly monogamous, and very much so asexual, and I do not know how to satisfy both our wants
https://redd.it/1lyz5rb
@asexualityonreddit
Reddit
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The show Virgins on TLC sucks. Rant time.
I have an honest question to ask everyone.
How many people here would be okay with staying a virgin for life? Or just going without having sex ever again?
I can't be the only one, can I?
I was turned on to a show on TLC, titled Virgins. Obviously, it's a TV show about adult virgins. I watched it, and the whole entire show is repugnant.
The whole gist of the show is apparently to follow 4 adult virgins and mock them for never having had sex. They basically chose 4 stereotypical adult virgin tropes and decided to portray them in the most unflattering light.
One guy is made fun of by his own family for still being a 34 year-old virgin who lives with his parents. His sisters constantly poke at him and harass him. He was bullied in school. There was a story where a girl basically pranked him, telling him to meet her at a spot in school, only for her to bring her boyfriend and all her friends to laugh and mock him for falling for the prank. Just cruel. So, he has some esteem issues from all of that bullying as a child.
Another is a 35 year-old virgin who is always being coaxed by her friends because she just doesn't like anyone she meets and is told she is "too picky". She is supposedly conventionally attractive to most people, and she gets approached by others interested in dating her. However, she just is not interested in anyone. All of her friends keep cajoling her into trying dating, even though she just doesn't like anyone she dates.
She ends up going on some blind dating show, where the hosts constantly make fun of her for being a virgin. It was among the most mean-spirited moments I've ever watched on a show. There's an audience there that is in total shock because she hasn't lost her V-card and hasn't been in a relationship. A couple audience members are mouth agape when she mentions she's a 35 year-old virgin, and the hosts are asking these invasive questions, trying to persuade her into trying sex. The whole show seems so prickish, honestly.
The next virgin is a 37 year-old Indian-American woman who remained a virgin because of her religious upbringing. The whole show constantly harps on her being an uptight prude who just needs to "loosen up" and "live a little". She talks about how she's demisexual, and it just seems like everyone is constantly trying to force her to do things she doesn't want to do. I'm not even sure she even wants to have sex for the sake of having it. She seems to want sex because she wants a romantic relationship with someone and feels like it's the only way to have a romantic relationship. It's just so cruel.
The last one is a 42 year-old woman who is just horny all the time. She is just always talking about wanting to do BDSM, since she sees it in porn. She is just very sexually charged all the time. She was married, but she never had sex with her ex-husband, because he only married her for citizenship status and then ditched her, pretty much. She has esteem issues from that failed marriage, and from the fact she doesn't feel she fits societal beauty standards. So, there is just a lot there with that.
The whole show constantly is making it seem like being an adult virgin is like being an alien. It's always seen as like "We need to devirginize these people", so they can become "normal" like the rest of us.
One friend said we just need to get her to have sex, so she can join "the rest of the world".
The way they treat these virgins is infuriating as hell, honestly.
This show just sucks, for real.
Why do they always show virgins as complete losers and weirdos all the time? Why must television and media always treat people who don't have sex as being psychos?
They never seem to show people who are happy to remain virgins and aren't interested in sex. They never seem to show someone like me, an aromantic asexual guy who has no interest in having sex of any kind.
They always pick these sad sack, pity cases that they can portray as being "losers" and conventionally "uncool". TV is constantly stereotyping virgins as being uncool losers who
I have an honest question to ask everyone.
How many people here would be okay with staying a virgin for life? Or just going without having sex ever again?
I can't be the only one, can I?
I was turned on to a show on TLC, titled Virgins. Obviously, it's a TV show about adult virgins. I watched it, and the whole entire show is repugnant.
The whole gist of the show is apparently to follow 4 adult virgins and mock them for never having had sex. They basically chose 4 stereotypical adult virgin tropes and decided to portray them in the most unflattering light.
One guy is made fun of by his own family for still being a 34 year-old virgin who lives with his parents. His sisters constantly poke at him and harass him. He was bullied in school. There was a story where a girl basically pranked him, telling him to meet her at a spot in school, only for her to bring her boyfriend and all her friends to laugh and mock him for falling for the prank. Just cruel. So, he has some esteem issues from all of that bullying as a child.
Another is a 35 year-old virgin who is always being coaxed by her friends because she just doesn't like anyone she meets and is told she is "too picky". She is supposedly conventionally attractive to most people, and she gets approached by others interested in dating her. However, she just is not interested in anyone. All of her friends keep cajoling her into trying dating, even though she just doesn't like anyone she dates.
She ends up going on some blind dating show, where the hosts constantly make fun of her for being a virgin. It was among the most mean-spirited moments I've ever watched on a show. There's an audience there that is in total shock because she hasn't lost her V-card and hasn't been in a relationship. A couple audience members are mouth agape when she mentions she's a 35 year-old virgin, and the hosts are asking these invasive questions, trying to persuade her into trying sex. The whole show seems so prickish, honestly.
The next virgin is a 37 year-old Indian-American woman who remained a virgin because of her religious upbringing. The whole show constantly harps on her being an uptight prude who just needs to "loosen up" and "live a little". She talks about how she's demisexual, and it just seems like everyone is constantly trying to force her to do things she doesn't want to do. I'm not even sure she even wants to have sex for the sake of having it. She seems to want sex because she wants a romantic relationship with someone and feels like it's the only way to have a romantic relationship. It's just so cruel.
The last one is a 42 year-old woman who is just horny all the time. She is just always talking about wanting to do BDSM, since she sees it in porn. She is just very sexually charged all the time. She was married, but she never had sex with her ex-husband, because he only married her for citizenship status and then ditched her, pretty much. She has esteem issues from that failed marriage, and from the fact she doesn't feel she fits societal beauty standards. So, there is just a lot there with that.
The whole show constantly is making it seem like being an adult virgin is like being an alien. It's always seen as like "We need to devirginize these people", so they can become "normal" like the rest of us.
One friend said we just need to get her to have sex, so she can join "the rest of the world".
The way they treat these virgins is infuriating as hell, honestly.
This show just sucks, for real.
Why do they always show virgins as complete losers and weirdos all the time? Why must television and media always treat people who don't have sex as being psychos?
They never seem to show people who are happy to remain virgins and aren't interested in sex. They never seem to show someone like me, an aromantic asexual guy who has no interest in having sex of any kind.
They always pick these sad sack, pity cases that they can portray as being "losers" and conventionally "uncool". TV is constantly stereotyping virgins as being uncool losers who
deserve to be laughed at.
Honestly, it makes me mad. Maybe because I'm a 35 year-old virgin myself. I'm just mad still.
Am I wrong in being angry over this?
https://redd.it/1lz0lo2
@asexualityonreddit
Honestly, it makes me mad. Maybe because I'm a 35 year-old virgin myself. I'm just mad still.
Am I wrong in being angry over this?
https://redd.it/1lz0lo2
@asexualityonreddit
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Why is sex depicted that way by allos ?
Allos will describe sex as the most important thing in someone’s life, something that needs to be done before you die, a primal instinct/desire, the most beautiful thing ever etc… But it’s also something that can be traumatizing, so why is it depicted as the most beautiful and enjoyable thing ever ? I genuinely don’t understand it at all. See for example, if a child sees their parents having sex, it will be traumatizing, or if the child views pornographic content at a young age or suffers from SA, that’s traumatizing af so why is such a thing the "best thing in the world and the best demonstration of love" ? You can say SA is not the same thing as sex, sure, it’s completely different, but I still don’t get why the most pleasurable thing on earth and the best way of showing your love to someone can also be the most traumatizing and disturbing ever ? That doesn’t make sense. A kiss for example, if a kid sees a couple kissing (not necessarily extremely passionate and awkward involving tongues for example), the kid will at most be disgusted. Or hugs for example ; nobody is traumatized by seeing people hug each other. So why are hugs and kissing seen as less affectionate than sex when sex can be the reason for bad trauma while hugs and kisses are not shocking in any way or form ? My ace brain doesn’t get it.
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@asexualityonreddit
Allos will describe sex as the most important thing in someone’s life, something that needs to be done before you die, a primal instinct/desire, the most beautiful thing ever etc… But it’s also something that can be traumatizing, so why is it depicted as the most beautiful and enjoyable thing ever ? I genuinely don’t understand it at all. See for example, if a child sees their parents having sex, it will be traumatizing, or if the child views pornographic content at a young age or suffers from SA, that’s traumatizing af so why is such a thing the "best thing in the world and the best demonstration of love" ? You can say SA is not the same thing as sex, sure, it’s completely different, but I still don’t get why the most pleasurable thing on earth and the best way of showing your love to someone can also be the most traumatizing and disturbing ever ? That doesn’t make sense. A kiss for example, if a kid sees a couple kissing (not necessarily extremely passionate and awkward involving tongues for example), the kid will at most be disgusted. Or hugs for example ; nobody is traumatized by seeing people hug each other. So why are hugs and kissing seen as less affectionate than sex when sex can be the reason for bad trauma while hugs and kisses are not shocking in any way or form ? My ace brain doesn’t get it.
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The show Virgins on TLC sucks. Rant time.
I have an honest question to ask everyone.
How many people here would be okay with staying a virgin for life? Or just going without having sex ever again?
I can't be the only one, can I?
I was turned on to a show on TLC, titled Virgins. Obviously, it's a TV show about adult virgins. I watched it, and the whole entire show is repugnant.
The whole gist of the show is apparently to follow 4 adult virgins and mock them for never having had sex. They basically chose 4 stereotypical adult virgin tropes and decided to portray them in the most unflattering light.
One guy is made fun of by his own family for still being a 34 year-old virgin who lives with his parents. His sisters constantly poke at him and harass him. He was bullied in school. There was a story where a girl basically pranked him, telling him to meet her at a spot in school, only for her to bring her boyfriend and all her friends to laugh and mock him for falling for the prank. Just cruel. So, he has some esteem issues from all of that bullying as a child.
Another is a 35 year-old virgin who is always being coaxed by her friends because she just doesn't like anyone she meets and is told she is "too picky". She is supposedly conventionally attractive to most people, and she gets approached by others interested in dating her. However, she just is not interested in anyone. All of her friends keep cajoling her into trying dating, even though she just doesn't like anyone she dates.
She ends up going on some blind dating show, where the hosts constantly make fun of her for being a virgin. It was among the most mean-spirited moments I've ever watched on a show. There's an audience there that is in total shock because she hasn't lost her V-card and hasn't been in a relationship. A couple audience members are mouth agape when she mentions she's a 35 year-old virgin, and the hosts are asking these invasive questions, trying to persuade her into trying sex. The whole show seems so prickish, honestly.
The next virgin is a 37 year-old Indian-American woman who remained a virgin because of her religious upbringing. The whole show constantly harps on her being an uptight prude who just needs to "loosen up" and "live a little". She talks about how she's demisexual, and it just seems like everyone is constantly trying to force her to do things she doesn't want to do. I'm not even sure she even wants to have sex for the sake of having it. She seems to want sex because she wants a romantic relationship with someone and feels like it's the only way to have a romantic relationship. It's just so cruel.
The last one is a 42 year-old woman who is just horny all the time. She is just always talking about wanting to do BDSM, since she sees it in porn. She is just very sexually charged all the time. She was married, but she never had sex with her ex-husband, because he only married her for citizenship status and then ditched her, pretty much. She has esteem issues from that failed marriage, and from the fact she doesn't feel she fits societal beauty standards. So, there is just a lot there with that.
The whole show constantly is making it seem like being an adult virgin is like being an alien. It's always seen as like "We need to devirginize these people", so they can become "normal" like the rest of us.
One friend said we just need to get her to have sex, so she can join "the rest of the world".
The way they treat these virgins is infuriating as hell, honestly.
This show just sucks, for real.
Why do they always show virgins as complete losers and weirdos all the time? Why must television and media always treat people who don't have sex as being psychos?
They never seem to show people who are happy to remain virgins and aren't interested in sex. They never seem to show someone like me, an aromantic asexual guy who has no interest in having sex of any kind.
They always pick these sad sack, pity cases that they can portray as being "losers" and conventionally "uncool". TV is constantly stereotyping virgins as being uncool losers who
I have an honest question to ask everyone.
How many people here would be okay with staying a virgin for life? Or just going without having sex ever again?
I can't be the only one, can I?
I was turned on to a show on TLC, titled Virgins. Obviously, it's a TV show about adult virgins. I watched it, and the whole entire show is repugnant.
The whole gist of the show is apparently to follow 4 adult virgins and mock them for never having had sex. They basically chose 4 stereotypical adult virgin tropes and decided to portray them in the most unflattering light.
One guy is made fun of by his own family for still being a 34 year-old virgin who lives with his parents. His sisters constantly poke at him and harass him. He was bullied in school. There was a story where a girl basically pranked him, telling him to meet her at a spot in school, only for her to bring her boyfriend and all her friends to laugh and mock him for falling for the prank. Just cruel. So, he has some esteem issues from all of that bullying as a child.
Another is a 35 year-old virgin who is always being coaxed by her friends because she just doesn't like anyone she meets and is told she is "too picky". She is supposedly conventionally attractive to most people, and she gets approached by others interested in dating her. However, she just is not interested in anyone. All of her friends keep cajoling her into trying dating, even though she just doesn't like anyone she dates.
She ends up going on some blind dating show, where the hosts constantly make fun of her for being a virgin. It was among the most mean-spirited moments I've ever watched on a show. There's an audience there that is in total shock because she hasn't lost her V-card and hasn't been in a relationship. A couple audience members are mouth agape when she mentions she's a 35 year-old virgin, and the hosts are asking these invasive questions, trying to persuade her into trying sex. The whole show seems so prickish, honestly.
The next virgin is a 37 year-old Indian-American woman who remained a virgin because of her religious upbringing. The whole show constantly harps on her being an uptight prude who just needs to "loosen up" and "live a little". She talks about how she's demisexual, and it just seems like everyone is constantly trying to force her to do things she doesn't want to do. I'm not even sure she even wants to have sex for the sake of having it. She seems to want sex because she wants a romantic relationship with someone and feels like it's the only way to have a romantic relationship. It's just so cruel.
The last one is a 42 year-old woman who is just horny all the time. She is just always talking about wanting to do BDSM, since she sees it in porn. She is just very sexually charged all the time. She was married, but she never had sex with her ex-husband, because he only married her for citizenship status and then ditched her, pretty much. She has esteem issues from that failed marriage, and from the fact she doesn't feel she fits societal beauty standards. So, there is just a lot there with that.
The whole show constantly is making it seem like being an adult virgin is like being an alien. It's always seen as like "We need to devirginize these people", so they can become "normal" like the rest of us.
One friend said we just need to get her to have sex, so she can join "the rest of the world".
The way they treat these virgins is infuriating as hell, honestly.
This show just sucks, for real.
Why do they always show virgins as complete losers and weirdos all the time? Why must television and media always treat people who don't have sex as being psychos?
They never seem to show people who are happy to remain virgins and aren't interested in sex. They never seem to show someone like me, an aromantic asexual guy who has no interest in having sex of any kind.
They always pick these sad sack, pity cases that they can portray as being "losers" and conventionally "uncool". TV is constantly stereotyping virgins as being uncool losers who
deserve to be laughed at.
Honestly, it makes me mad. Maybe because I'm a 35 year-old virgin myself. I'm just mad still.
Am I wrong in being angry over this?
https://redd.it/1lz2gaf
@asexualityonreddit
Honestly, it makes me mad. Maybe because I'm a 35 year-old virgin myself. I'm just mad still.
Am I wrong in being angry over this?
https://redd.it/1lz2gaf
@asexualityonreddit
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Feel like a looser
Hi, so i'm 20m and during my aunt's birthday i got to see my cousins and their girlfriends and i don't know why but i felt like i was missing out on something, that he had accomplished more than me even though i'm pretty sure i'm asexual and aromantique. i discovered i'm asexual very recently so is there anyone out there who has had similar experiences? i'm totally confused
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@asexualityonreddit
Hi, so i'm 20m and during my aunt's birthday i got to see my cousins and their girlfriends and i don't know why but i felt like i was missing out on something, that he had accomplished more than me even though i'm pretty sure i'm asexual and aromantique. i discovered i'm asexual very recently so is there anyone out there who has had similar experiences? i'm totally confused
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DAE get uncomfy seeing others partially clothed?
Whenever I (F, asexual and sex-repulsed) see a person (in person or on a poster or something) in a swimsuit/only undergarments, I get pretty uncomfortable and look away, especially if it's a man. I don't like seeing men's chests, even though most men women probably enjoy that. I know people normally don't walk around undressed, so how I feel is reasonable to an extent, but I was just wondering if anyone else feels this way.
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@asexualityonreddit
Whenever I (F, asexual and sex-repulsed) see a person (in person or on a poster or something) in a swimsuit/only undergarments, I get pretty uncomfortable and look away, especially if it's a man. I don't like seeing men's chests, even though most men women probably enjoy that. I know people normally don't walk around undressed, so how I feel is reasonable to an extent, but I was just wondering if anyone else feels this way.
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Asexuality from dysphoria—do I count?
I’m a trans man with severe genital dysphoria. I have a high sex drive and always have, but because my nether regions aren’t what they should be, I have never found an enjoyable way to have sex. I love foreplay and masturbation, but sex itself depresses me a lot because it just reminds me of what I’ll never have.
My girlfriend is not asexual and I feel bad that I’m so sexually disappointing to her—she says she loves me for me and isn’t in the relationship for sex, but I can sense a pang of disappointment in her voice every time we discuss it. I really wish I could experience the passion and oneness that sex is apparently supposed to bring with her, but without male anatomy I feel like that will never happen. I’m also not satisfied with the kinds of surgeries that currently exist for people like me, and don’t have a lot of confidence that my condition will be able to be physically fixed within my lifetime.
I don’t feel like asexuality is a part of my identity, but rather just a challenge I face from what is essentially a birth defect. If I did not have this deformity, I would not be asexual, but I do and there’s nothing I can do to change it. So basically my question is… Am I asexual?
https://redd.it/1lzbd0c
@asexualityonreddit
I’m a trans man with severe genital dysphoria. I have a high sex drive and always have, but because my nether regions aren’t what they should be, I have never found an enjoyable way to have sex. I love foreplay and masturbation, but sex itself depresses me a lot because it just reminds me of what I’ll never have.
My girlfriend is not asexual and I feel bad that I’m so sexually disappointing to her—she says she loves me for me and isn’t in the relationship for sex, but I can sense a pang of disappointment in her voice every time we discuss it. I really wish I could experience the passion and oneness that sex is apparently supposed to bring with her, but without male anatomy I feel like that will never happen. I’m also not satisfied with the kinds of surgeries that currently exist for people like me, and don’t have a lot of confidence that my condition will be able to be physically fixed within my lifetime.
I don’t feel like asexuality is a part of my identity, but rather just a challenge I face from what is essentially a birth defect. If I did not have this deformity, I would not be asexual, but I do and there’s nothing I can do to change it. So basically my question is… Am I asexual?
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Am I Asexual?
If you are questioning whether or not you are asexual (including all microlabels), reply to this post with what made you start questioning, and why.
If you are too shy to post a reply, then you can scroll through the responses for the advice you may be searching for.
https://redd.it/1lzcoho
@asexualityonreddit
If you are questioning whether or not you are asexual (including all microlabels), reply to this post with what made you start questioning, and why.
If you are too shy to post a reply, then you can scroll through the responses for the advice you may be searching for.
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Grant isn’t into romance either, and wants to be someone’s (platonic) one and only
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Ace w/ hypersexuality via trauma, but can't begin to cope with it
My world view was really limited so I didn't even understand I was Ace for a long while.
Some really unpleasant things happened.
And now bordering on compulsive very specific and realistically harmful hypersexual ideation affects me.
I feel so embarrassed by it and idk if I could even talk to anyone about it.
No chance I afford therapy and even then it would be hard to find a therapist who I feel could begin to understand / be competent to my queer, trans experience.
But simultaneously, it's scary, because I could enter a state of mind that leads me to subject myself to the harmful experience. And even with my inclination to harm reduction, my brain betrays me at times.
I just wish I could understand what I'm going through better. And that I could articulate it to some future partner without fear of ridicule or judgement, because it is stupid and I don't want this, but trauma brain makes it make "sense".
https://redd.it/1lzckdm
@asexualityonreddit
My world view was really limited so I didn't even understand I was Ace for a long while.
Some really unpleasant things happened.
And now bordering on compulsive very specific and realistically harmful hypersexual ideation affects me.
I feel so embarrassed by it and idk if I could even talk to anyone about it.
No chance I afford therapy and even then it would be hard to find a therapist who I feel could begin to understand / be competent to my queer, trans experience.
But simultaneously, it's scary, because I could enter a state of mind that leads me to subject myself to the harmful experience. And even with my inclination to harm reduction, my brain betrays me at times.
I just wish I could understand what I'm going through better. And that I could articulate it to some future partner without fear of ridicule or judgement, because it is stupid and I don't want this, but trauma brain makes it make "sense".
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Has anyone else's attitude towards sex changed over time?
Like the title says. I feel as though I've gone from being sex indifferent to sex-adverse over time. Has anyone else experienced this or something similar?
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@asexualityonreddit
Like the title says. I feel as though I've gone from being sex indifferent to sex-adverse over time. Has anyone else experienced this or something similar?
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A Rant That’s All Over the Place…
before i get started, i did want to put a disclaimer im not fully 100% sure i am asexual, i wanted to vent about my own perception of sex and whatnot.
growing up, i felt very inclined to become a “sex symbol” im not really particularly sure where this stemmed from. i grew up as a bit on the chubbier side, i use to always compare my thigh size to other girls my age, and id always be left with a low self esteem. i began a regimen at age 12, that made me loss a bunch of weight.
eventually i entered middle school and became more comfortable with my eating habits, but as a natural result, i gained weight. i recall a guy in my grade i was very attracted to at the time called me “beefy” and when i ended up confronting him about this, he told me along the lines of my ass is fat.
so then on, i would do everything for male validation. and i wont go into extreme details, but the things i did throughout high school and middle school just are so disappointing to me in a way.
eventually, junior/senior year, i saw a lot of my female peers that i grew up with, do the exact same mannerisms as me, i could tell they were doing stuff for the male gaze, girls were leaking their own sex tapes, it reminded me how i sometimes would be glad that my explicit pics would get leaked so that i could show off my “good figure”.
eventually i began to slow down how frequently id be having sex in my last 2 years of highschool, i had this sorta realization that everyone was fucking each other and it made really how “easy access” sex was. for the record i lost my virginity at 15, so i was slightly ahead of the game, and had this big ego as a result. i really felt like i had some sort of sick mindset, id often look at other girl’s bodies and objectify them myself, like as if my mindset was the male gaze.
eventually i enrolled in college, and freshman year made me realize a whole lot. i stopped using snapchat, so as a result, i stopped “glamming up” and wearing low neck tops and crop tops, and i didn’t snap pictures of myself quite often, or even talk to a lot of guys. i felt like i wasn’t really performing anymore.
i did engage in some hookups but i began to feel so empty after these hookups. i spent time partying at frats and whatnot, and the sex culture there was horrifying. frat guys would get award belts if they had over 100+ bodies, and one guy told me how they brought a 50 year old stripper would claimed she had a 1000 bodies, and that the college age men all took turns on her… i was told that story a year ago and it lowkey traumatizes me till this day lol.
the last time i consented to sex, i bawled right afterwards in bed, i thought to myself i don’t ever really want to engage in this type of stuff ever again. i also felt like engaging in sex is a part of me is losing my own self respect. it didn’t feel like redeeming behavior anymore, it left me in a void of depression in a way because i wasn’t sure where to get validation from. at 13, i used to tell myself id become a pornstar— like that’s disgusting.
i often see the wording “sex-repulsed” in this subreddit, and i personally feel like that’s the exact way to describe how i feel. i stopped masturbating and watching porn ages ago, and i never even have any sort of sexual desire or even sexual attraction.
and in a way i sorta blame the general society and media, because i personally feel like at a young age my brain got warped into the world of porn and objectification. it’s just kinda mind boggling because my whole mindset did a 180.
i’m not too sure how i feel about romantic attraction, beforehand i used to only strictly be the type of girl who was interested in hookups only and never explored romantically. the idea of men honestly scare me in a way, they’ll fuck a peanut butter jar for goodness sake. and there’s women for example bonnie blue who hosts events where she’ll hook up with 1000+ men in the span of 12 hours, and if i found out my significant other participated in that, i’d be disgusted. and finding out some STDs/STIs exist because men
before i get started, i did want to put a disclaimer im not fully 100% sure i am asexual, i wanted to vent about my own perception of sex and whatnot.
growing up, i felt very inclined to become a “sex symbol” im not really particularly sure where this stemmed from. i grew up as a bit on the chubbier side, i use to always compare my thigh size to other girls my age, and id always be left with a low self esteem. i began a regimen at age 12, that made me loss a bunch of weight.
eventually i entered middle school and became more comfortable with my eating habits, but as a natural result, i gained weight. i recall a guy in my grade i was very attracted to at the time called me “beefy” and when i ended up confronting him about this, he told me along the lines of my ass is fat.
so then on, i would do everything for male validation. and i wont go into extreme details, but the things i did throughout high school and middle school just are so disappointing to me in a way.
eventually, junior/senior year, i saw a lot of my female peers that i grew up with, do the exact same mannerisms as me, i could tell they were doing stuff for the male gaze, girls were leaking their own sex tapes, it reminded me how i sometimes would be glad that my explicit pics would get leaked so that i could show off my “good figure”.
eventually i began to slow down how frequently id be having sex in my last 2 years of highschool, i had this sorta realization that everyone was fucking each other and it made really how “easy access” sex was. for the record i lost my virginity at 15, so i was slightly ahead of the game, and had this big ego as a result. i really felt like i had some sort of sick mindset, id often look at other girl’s bodies and objectify them myself, like as if my mindset was the male gaze.
eventually i enrolled in college, and freshman year made me realize a whole lot. i stopped using snapchat, so as a result, i stopped “glamming up” and wearing low neck tops and crop tops, and i didn’t snap pictures of myself quite often, or even talk to a lot of guys. i felt like i wasn’t really performing anymore.
i did engage in some hookups but i began to feel so empty after these hookups. i spent time partying at frats and whatnot, and the sex culture there was horrifying. frat guys would get award belts if they had over 100+ bodies, and one guy told me how they brought a 50 year old stripper would claimed she had a 1000 bodies, and that the college age men all took turns on her… i was told that story a year ago and it lowkey traumatizes me till this day lol.
the last time i consented to sex, i bawled right afterwards in bed, i thought to myself i don’t ever really want to engage in this type of stuff ever again. i also felt like engaging in sex is a part of me is losing my own self respect. it didn’t feel like redeeming behavior anymore, it left me in a void of depression in a way because i wasn’t sure where to get validation from. at 13, i used to tell myself id become a pornstar— like that’s disgusting.
i often see the wording “sex-repulsed” in this subreddit, and i personally feel like that’s the exact way to describe how i feel. i stopped masturbating and watching porn ages ago, and i never even have any sort of sexual desire or even sexual attraction.
and in a way i sorta blame the general society and media, because i personally feel like at a young age my brain got warped into the world of porn and objectification. it’s just kinda mind boggling because my whole mindset did a 180.
i’m not too sure how i feel about romantic attraction, beforehand i used to only strictly be the type of girl who was interested in hookups only and never explored romantically. the idea of men honestly scare me in a way, they’ll fuck a peanut butter jar for goodness sake. and there’s women for example bonnie blue who hosts events where she’ll hook up with 1000+ men in the span of 12 hours, and if i found out my significant other participated in that, i’d be disgusted. and finding out some STDs/STIs exist because men
couldn’t keep their dicks away from animals is honestly so horrifying. what type of culture have we’ve enabled? i genuinely don’t understand the hype of sex, even when i was having sex, i would just be performing, and after the guy cums, the sex ends there with me being unfinished, it’s unappealing, nasty, sweaty, and just bodily fluids eeek. plus the average human as the same anatomy in terms of sexual organs, so like on average, one female’s set of tits doesn’t look that different to another’s, and to me; every dick has felt nearly identical, so i just don’t get this burning desire people have to fuck so many people or even cheat on their significant others??
im not sure if my thought process is making any more sense, but let me know if you think a similar way? i just needed to rant about this because ive felt this way for over 2 years now and i never actually had the chance to have a discussion out loud about simply the thought of sex nauseates me. anyway, i appreciate whoever read this far, have a good day/night :)
https://redd.it/1lzgp44
@asexualityonreddit
im not sure if my thought process is making any more sense, but let me know if you think a similar way? i just needed to rant about this because ive felt this way for over 2 years now and i never actually had the chance to have a discussion out loud about simply the thought of sex nauseates me. anyway, i appreciate whoever read this far, have a good day/night :)
https://redd.it/1lzgp44
@asexualityonreddit
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Hey, is it common for cisgender dudes to be asexual?
Or is there something wrong with me? Because all I see are people belonging to other gender identities who are asexual. I just wanted to know if it's rare or something. Kinda worried as well, because I used to think of myself as the protagonist of an ecchi anime like 'Highschool DXD'. It's kinda, like, stupid, but I need some validation for Christ's sake!!!
https://redd.it/1lzhlag
@asexualityonreddit
Or is there something wrong with me? Because all I see are people belonging to other gender identities who are asexual. I just wanted to know if it's rare or something. Kinda worried as well, because I used to think of myself as the protagonist of an ecchi anime like 'Highschool DXD'. It's kinda, like, stupid, but I need some validation for Christ's sake!!!
https://redd.it/1lzhlag
@asexualityonreddit
Reddit
From the asexuality community on Reddit
Explore this post and more from the asexuality community