My daughter is questioning, how do i support her?

So I was in bed with my family last night (we all do something called a "cuddle puddle") and she was laying in my partners arms while he played with her hair. She just started crying and we asked her what was wrong. She was like "I don't want it to happen to me" and we asked what she meant she said sex. And I told her she didn't have to do it if she she wasn't comfortable with it. She was very shocked with that answer. I'm assuming because in an allo-normative society it is somewhat of standard to have sex.

We were in the bathroom while I brushed my teeth and she was doing her hair and she was like dad? I was like hm? she asked me "Am I broken?" I answered no.

Since learning that me and her other parents still love her she's been more open to talking to us about it.

"I don't like sex without emotion, I would only want to be intimate with someone I loved and can give my everything to. But that's not necessary, I would be fine just being in someone's arms. Just being held."

I just want to know how better I can help her.

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@asexualityonreddit

aego meme

https://redd.it/poyini
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Sexualization of everything makes me sick.

So yeah, this is a vent. Feel free to disagree idc. Everything in this stupid world is so god damn sexualized. This vent was inspired by a post I just saw on a different subreddit, one for a show I like.

I watch a lot of animated shows and a lot of them are considered “kid’s shows.” Personally it makes me uncomfortable when people sexualize media in general, but I swear to god the fandoms of some cartoons are just so annoying when it comes to this stuff.

The post I saw on the other sub was calling one of the villains of the show “hot” and saying that was somehow a redeemable quality. I get that allos sometimes experience sexual attraction to characters but how the FUCK is that a redeemable quality? Allos actually think that them experiencing sexual attraction to a person makes them more valuable, or more good. This character was definitely not written to have redeemable qualities and the poster acknowledged that and said that their only redeemable quality was that they were “hot”.

While there’s nothing wrong with liking villain characters it just annoys me when people treat being “hot” as a redeemable quality. The worst thing though was another person’s comment on the post. They said “They the animators must have given him asymmetrical eyes to show that he was irredeemable lmao.” Like….what?! Was the multiple genocides, abuse, and mind-control possession of almost an entire planet not irredeemable enough that this allo thinks the animators had to give the character a stereotypical “ugly” trait to show that they were irredeemable? Do allos actually think that having “ugly” traits makes you evil and less valuable, while having “hot” traits makes you more redeemable and more valuable?

And it’s not just this specific instance too. There are so many times (especially on Twitter) where judging people based on their looks/height is seen as ok. Sometimes a bad person will do something and the Twitter comments will be “Oh they have insert “ugly” trait, no wonder they’re like this,” or “We’ll listen to you when you don’t have “ugly” trait anymore,” or something ridiculous like that. On the reverse of that, sometimes I’ll see people on my feed say stuff like “Not only am I insert good quality here, I’m also hot.” It’s like, so? That doesn’t actually matter! Whenever anyone does anything bad ever, people always resort to body-shaming and virgin-shaming, rather than shaming them for the actual bad thing they did.

Anyways, this was just a vent about how frustrated I am at the allo world’s correlation between attractiveness and value as a person/whether they deserve forgiveness. Sorry if anyone was offended by this.

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@asexualityonreddit

Please tell me I'm not the only one that got unreasonably angry when you learned about the Judgement of Paris
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Do you guys know other animated TV series that has good asexuality representation?
https://redd.it/pp4xbw
@asexualityonreddit

This is totally me as a demisexual 😅 Any other aces relate? I don’t want to have sex and get married to them, just stay up late talking, give hugs and maybe cuddle while watching a movie…like friends but a teeny-tiny extra, you know?
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@asexualityonreddit

Damm it
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.....
https://redd.it/pp9bj0
@asexualityonreddit

Because everyone else is doing it this is my baby girl Bella

https://redd.it/pp98sr
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“Visions Do Fall”, by tri.
https://redd.it/pp5t6i
@asexualityonreddit

If you're a man, or attractive, you can't be asexual.

It just makes sense, right?

Well no, but my mother seems to believe men who are asexual are either rapists or have erectile dysfunction. No possibility of asexuality being a thing.

And an old man told me (idc if you see this), and I quote, "But I'm attracted to you, and I'm not attracted to asexuals."

KABOO, my asexuality just disappeared. Yours should too if someone is attracted to you. Just try it guys, it'll cure your years of suffering😃👍

Then both tell me they're not aphobes. Mhm, sure.

https://redd.it/ppc6h8
@asexualityonreddit

Just broke up with my girlfriend and don’t know what to do, can someone help. I really need it



https://redd.it/pp86vx
@asexualityonreddit

I'm confused

So I confessed to my crush and they said yes. Then we started dating. The thing is I think I might be lithromantic and I don't know what to do now. Someone please tell me otherwise I'll combust

https://redd.it/ppblp9
@asexualityonreddit

Are greysexuals accepted here?

So I read a wiki forum on greysexuals. Reading the definition of one I relate a lot to it so I was wondering if this sub Reddit is accepting of greysexual and hoping there’s more information shared about it and there’s other people who relate the same thing that I have.

https://lgbta.wikia.org/wiki/Greysexual

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@asexualityonreddit

There's this gay friend of mine...

I have a gay friend and I always considered myself an ally to the LGBTQIA+ community. We spoke a lot about stuff like homophobia and community-related issues. At the time I was questioning my sexuality, but nothing felt right.

Eventually I startet reading about asexuality and stuff, but I merely considered the possibility I could be ace. One day I wanted to talk about it with my friend. I thaught that he would somehow understand what I'm talking about and I, at that time, always considered aces to be part of LGBT+. So I started a conversation about it, but he just said, that that was a totally different thing and that asexuality is not really a sexuality and so on. I kinda felt invalidated by what he said. Then I asked him if he considered Asexuality as part of the LGBT+ community and he said no. He talked about how the community was just for people that are oppressed or invalidated by society and that Aces are not...like...hated enough? I was shocked, because in my head the LGBT+ community was a safe place for all people that didn't fit the norm.

I came out a few weeks later but never talked with him about it. But what he said is stuck in my head and I often feel that there is just no place for us. It really doesn't matter if we are in a special community or something, but it hurts the most to get invalidated by people who should know how it feels.

Nowadays, when somebody asks, I say that I'm bi, because it's easier and I never got hate for it. But when I say that I'm ace there is always some acephobic comment, whether the person wants to hurt me or not. I think it's kinda ironic, considering that we are "not oppressed enough" to get support.

Edit: grammatical error

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