A lot of people don't understand sexual attraction
Something I've realized is that people don't just misunderstand asexuality, they don't understand their own sexuality.
It usually comes up when I explain that I'm asexual but love sex. They first think that it's impossible and that I can't be a sexually active asexual. And then when I explain that I like having sex with people I like, they say that's just normal and I'm confusing myself.
When I try to explain that even if I have sex, I don't have sexual attraction, they try to tell me that it's "normal" (read allosexual). They're reasoning is that even allos won't have sex with everyone and thus I must be allo because I have sex with certain people.
When I ask them about their sexuality, they double down on not wanting to have sex with every person of their preferred gender. It's made me realize that attraction of all kinds are greatly misunderstood by all people.
I can't understand looking at a person and finding them sexually attractive. But an allo person also doesn't understand it, because it's become so intertwined with their romantic attractions.
Its even more clear when you try explaining demisexuality to people and allos say things like "i also wouldn't have sex with someone i just met, it's normal to wait for a relationship." They don't understand that sexual attraction isn't a default setting for some people, and that demis aren't "waiting" for a relationship, they just don't feel sexually attracted to anyone prior to a connection.
I don't know, its just an observation I've had that I thought might be interesting to other people.
https://redd.it/ol9vyz
@asexualityonreddit
Something I've realized is that people don't just misunderstand asexuality, they don't understand their own sexuality.
It usually comes up when I explain that I'm asexual but love sex. They first think that it's impossible and that I can't be a sexually active asexual. And then when I explain that I like having sex with people I like, they say that's just normal and I'm confusing myself.
When I try to explain that even if I have sex, I don't have sexual attraction, they try to tell me that it's "normal" (read allosexual). They're reasoning is that even allos won't have sex with everyone and thus I must be allo because I have sex with certain people.
When I ask them about their sexuality, they double down on not wanting to have sex with every person of their preferred gender. It's made me realize that attraction of all kinds are greatly misunderstood by all people.
I can't understand looking at a person and finding them sexually attractive. But an allo person also doesn't understand it, because it's become so intertwined with their romantic attractions.
Its even more clear when you try explaining demisexuality to people and allos say things like "i also wouldn't have sex with someone i just met, it's normal to wait for a relationship." They don't understand that sexual attraction isn't a default setting for some people, and that demis aren't "waiting" for a relationship, they just don't feel sexually attracted to anyone prior to a connection.
I don't know, its just an observation I've had that I thought might be interesting to other people.
https://redd.it/ol9vyz
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
A lot of people don't understand sexual attraction
Something I've realized is that people don't just misunderstand asexuality, they don't understand their own sexuality. It usually comes up when I...
I feel dumb for not wanting sex as a guy
I'm 23M and throughout my life I've only had a few crushes. I enjoy intimacy like cuddles and kisses more so than sex. I don't find anyone attractive and feel a bit broken and lost. It feels weird because I see a lot of beautiful faces everyday but I don't have any need to go out and do anything intimate with anyone.
I have no attraction to people in general but very occasionally does my sexual desires go up and I feel like wanting a partner. I on the rare chance get attached to someone, feel like it will never happen again. This is because I rarely feel comfortable even touching someone, hugging or cuddles as I consider it really intimate.
I've been told I'm quite attractive from both sexes on different occasions but I don't really see it or have the desire to be promiscuous. My friends have the approach of "get another" whereas I have trouble feeling comfortable with just "one". I might be interested in 1 woman a year if I'm lucky.
I want a relationship but I don't really care for sex. And I feel like I'm quite a rarity in a world that's so sexual. I don't watch porn or masturbate anymore, I just don't care for it.
I just want someone I can go home and vent to, maybe cuddle with and goof off with. I don't want sex and it honestly feels like when sex is involved it's not a genuine connection. Sex to me, even as a male, feels traumatic.
https://redd.it/olb50s
@asexualityonreddit
I'm 23M and throughout my life I've only had a few crushes. I enjoy intimacy like cuddles and kisses more so than sex. I don't find anyone attractive and feel a bit broken and lost. It feels weird because I see a lot of beautiful faces everyday but I don't have any need to go out and do anything intimate with anyone.
I have no attraction to people in general but very occasionally does my sexual desires go up and I feel like wanting a partner. I on the rare chance get attached to someone, feel like it will never happen again. This is because I rarely feel comfortable even touching someone, hugging or cuddles as I consider it really intimate.
I've been told I'm quite attractive from both sexes on different occasions but I don't really see it or have the desire to be promiscuous. My friends have the approach of "get another" whereas I have trouble feeling comfortable with just "one". I might be interested in 1 woman a year if I'm lucky.
I want a relationship but I don't really care for sex. And I feel like I'm quite a rarity in a world that's so sexual. I don't watch porn or masturbate anymore, I just don't care for it.
I just want someone I can go home and vent to, maybe cuddle with and goof off with. I don't want sex and it honestly feels like when sex is involved it's not a genuine connection. Sex to me, even as a male, feels traumatic.
https://redd.it/olb50s
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
I feel dumb for not wanting sex as a guy
I'm 23M and throughout my life I've only had a few crushes. I enjoy intimacy like cuddles and kisses more so than sex. I don't find anyone...
okay, funny story. includes sexual topics, just letting y'all sex repulsed fellers know
so, me and my (also ace) SO were "having fun" with each other, rather early in our relationship mind you. it eventually congregated into me asking her if she liked what was happening.
this is what was said next:
me: "you like this?"
her: "yeah, if you do"
me: "wait, I was only doing it because I thought you liked it"
her: "wait what? that's what I was doing!"
*cue pointing spiderman meme and giggles*
her: "this is fun though, let's keep going"
me: "alright bet"
and that's where it ends, sorry it's not much, but I thought you guys would get a kick out of it.
https://redd.it/olet7i
@asexualityonreddit
so, me and my (also ace) SO were "having fun" with each other, rather early in our relationship mind you. it eventually congregated into me asking her if she liked what was happening.
this is what was said next:
me: "you like this?"
her: "yeah, if you do"
me: "wait, I was only doing it because I thought you liked it"
her: "wait what? that's what I was doing!"
*cue pointing spiderman meme and giggles*
her: "this is fun though, let's keep going"
me: "alright bet"
and that's where it ends, sorry it's not much, but I thought you guys would get a kick out of it.
https://redd.it/olet7i
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
okay, funny story. [includes sexual topics, just letting y'all sex...
so, me and my (also ace) SO were "having fun" with each other, rather early in our relationship mind you. it eventually congregated into me asking...
I know it’s just a loser with nothing better to do... but could someone please cheer me up?
https://redd.it/olf5tr
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/olf5tr
@asexualityonreddit
For All my fellow Trans Aces who also got their share of the hate campaign (It is moving the Ace subs aswell, infos in the comments)
https://redd.it/ollper
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/ollper
@asexualityonreddit
Kinda feel alone being a sex repulsed ace
I apologize for this vent but I need to get it off my chest. I’ve felt this for actually a long time now. From when I used to be in asexual groups on Facebook all the way to being in this group on reddit.
I always see SO many posts, affirmations, support, stories, etc about/for sex positive aces and a hefty handful with sex neutral aces. Almost all content and discussions I tend to run across is affirming sex positive aces that they’re still ace and such like that. And see a good deal for neutral aces too. But then I see so little actual affirmations or support for sex repulsed aces, at best we might get barely more then a footnote tagged on. In fact sex repulsion seems to be used more as a joke then something legitimate. Just because allo people think asexual only means don’t like sex doesn’t mean we don’t need inclusion and support. If anything, in a world so obsessed with sex (with or without attraction involved) to barely feel included in the community of my own sexuality is lonely.
Tbh I barely feel like I’m ace at all because it feels like asexuality means being sexual without feeling attraction more then anything else. I feel so excluded from actually being ace.
This isn’t to say sex positive and neutral aces should be silenced or anything, of course not. Just that it would sure be nice if sex repulsed weren’t just pushed to the corner and the community as a whole just assume we’re fine without support.
I dunno. I’m probably over reacting and probably just run across the stuff that upsets me more then includes me by chance, but that’s just how I’ve felt for years.
https://redd.it/olkry9
@asexualityonreddit
I apologize for this vent but I need to get it off my chest. I’ve felt this for actually a long time now. From when I used to be in asexual groups on Facebook all the way to being in this group on reddit.
I always see SO many posts, affirmations, support, stories, etc about/for sex positive aces and a hefty handful with sex neutral aces. Almost all content and discussions I tend to run across is affirming sex positive aces that they’re still ace and such like that. And see a good deal for neutral aces too. But then I see so little actual affirmations or support for sex repulsed aces, at best we might get barely more then a footnote tagged on. In fact sex repulsion seems to be used more as a joke then something legitimate. Just because allo people think asexual only means don’t like sex doesn’t mean we don’t need inclusion and support. If anything, in a world so obsessed with sex (with or without attraction involved) to barely feel included in the community of my own sexuality is lonely.
Tbh I barely feel like I’m ace at all because it feels like asexuality means being sexual without feeling attraction more then anything else. I feel so excluded from actually being ace.
This isn’t to say sex positive and neutral aces should be silenced or anything, of course not. Just that it would sure be nice if sex repulsed weren’t just pushed to the corner and the community as a whole just assume we’re fine without support.
I dunno. I’m probably over reacting and probably just run across the stuff that upsets me more then includes me by chance, but that’s just how I’ve felt for years.
https://redd.it/olkry9
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
Kinda feel alone being a sex repulsed ace
I apologize for this vent but I need to get it off my chest. I’ve felt this for actually a long time now. From when I used to be in asexual groups...
After a lifelong struggle, trauma, discomfort, tears and feeling seriously broken, I admitted to myself that I was asexual. For the first time in my life I feel like I can breathe. I am FREE. I can begin a new chapter of my life in which I am true to myself. I'm so happy.
I was always strongly sex repulsed (I'd rather be washing dirty dishes or going through trash to find a lost ring, you guys), I rarely ever feel arousal and my libido is nonexistent.
I came out to a few of my closest friends at work and my flatmates. It was difficult, but now, I feel so amazing. I no longer have to pretend I am someone I am not. I no longer have to worry about eventually having to force myself into doing things that repulse me and are foreign to me. I no longer have to feign interest in lewd topics just to fit in.
This is who I am, this is me. I am not broken. I tell myself every day now, Annie, you aren't broken. Different yes, but that doesn't make you broken.
I'm just so happy you guys. That's all. I guess I just needed a place to share my feelings. I'm almost 26, but I believe better figure this out late, than never.
https://redd.it/olohyt
@asexualityonreddit
I was always strongly sex repulsed (I'd rather be washing dirty dishes or going through trash to find a lost ring, you guys), I rarely ever feel arousal and my libido is nonexistent.
I came out to a few of my closest friends at work and my flatmates. It was difficult, but now, I feel so amazing. I no longer have to pretend I am someone I am not. I no longer have to worry about eventually having to force myself into doing things that repulse me and are foreign to me. I no longer have to feign interest in lewd topics just to fit in.
This is who I am, this is me. I am not broken. I tell myself every day now, Annie, you aren't broken. Different yes, but that doesn't make you broken.
I'm just so happy you guys. That's all. I guess I just needed a place to share my feelings. I'm almost 26, but I believe better figure this out late, than never.
https://redd.it/olohyt
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
After a lifelong struggle, trauma, discomfort, tears and feeling...
I was always *strongly* sex repulsed (I'd rather be washing dirty dishes or going through trash to find a lost ring, you guys), I rarely ever feel...
“How can you be asexual if you have sex everyday?” Well how can you eat if you’re not hungry?
Especially when your mom prepares a plate and puts it under your nose and expects you to eat. You know it will make her happy too since she hasn’t seen you eat in a while. Sure you don’t crave it but you can eat. That’s right, I don’t want to, but I’ll fuck your mom
https://redd.it/olob72
@asexualityonreddit
Especially when your mom prepares a plate and puts it under your nose and expects you to eat. You know it will make her happy too since she hasn’t seen you eat in a while. Sure you don’t crave it but you can eat. That’s right, I don’t want to, but I’ll fuck your mom
https://redd.it/olob72
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
“How can you be asexual if you have sex everyday?” Well how can...
Especially when your mom prepares a plate and puts it under your nose and expects you to eat. You know it will make her happy too since she hasn’t...
"Don't worry, we won't find any nudes in here."
A few weeks ago I was at a small gathering with friends that I'm out to and we were quite a few drinks in. I, being my usual self, was showing some cute pics of my cats and one of my friends took my phone and started swiping through my pictures with some others, looking at my cats, bad memes and dice pictures. I didn't protest, i have a lot of cute cat pics on there to share.
We were all laughing along but one of my other friends started to protest to not look through stuff that may be private.
So the friend that took my phone said what is in the title, and yes, she was right of course. It was a really good feeling to hear her say it so casually, like it was the most normal thing in the world.
A few swipes later she quickly put my phone on lock screen and tossed it back and went: "Nope I found something worse than nudes: D&D spoilers."
It feels good to have such a supportive friend group, it took me a long time to get to this point but now that I'm here it is the best feeling ever.
https://redd.it/olspcs
@asexualityonreddit
A few weeks ago I was at a small gathering with friends that I'm out to and we were quite a few drinks in. I, being my usual self, was showing some cute pics of my cats and one of my friends took my phone and started swiping through my pictures with some others, looking at my cats, bad memes and dice pictures. I didn't protest, i have a lot of cute cat pics on there to share.
We were all laughing along but one of my other friends started to protest to not look through stuff that may be private.
So the friend that took my phone said what is in the title, and yes, she was right of course. It was a really good feeling to hear her say it so casually, like it was the most normal thing in the world.
A few swipes later she quickly put my phone on lock screen and tossed it back and went: "Nope I found something worse than nudes: D&D spoilers."
It feels good to have such a supportive friend group, it took me a long time to get to this point but now that I'm here it is the best feeling ever.
https://redd.it/olspcs
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
"Don't worry, we won't find any nudes in here."
A few weeks ago I was at a small gathering with friends that I'm out to and we were quite a few drinks in. I, being my usual self, was showing...
Felt like drawing today so i drew this 💜(i swear it looks better in real life)
https://redd.it/olr55c
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/olr55c
@asexualityonreddit