The eternal self-conflict

The eternal war of self

According to the researchers, the color grey implies "a dark state of mind, a colorless and monotonous life, gloom, misery or a disinterest in life". Also, it represents neutrality and balance.

Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it

Slipping through my fingers all the time
Do I really see what's in her mind?
Each time I think I'm close to knowing
She keeps on growing

Slipping through my fingers all the time

It's 2 am

The house is quiet
Everyone's asleep

But I lay awake awake on my sheets
I stare at the wall then look around my room

Some would say a little bit messy, I assume

Nothing where it belongs
Nothing where it should be

And then I realize
How alarming this must be

The messy room reflects my messy mind
The messy thoughts which keep me awake at night

My mind is like a bookshelf

It needs to be organized
It needs to be read

Read by someone who understands
Understand the things that I can't

But no one there
Just me, my room and my mind Reflecting each other in the middle of the night

So what can I do?
I ask myself

Knowing that tonight will always repeat itself

Not strong enough to get my mess together
No strong enough to get better

To get better at keeping my room organized
Cause I know it reflects my messy mind

-Tuana

My pinned channels in Lux Brumalis

I've never thought that someone would pin this channel

Thank you for that 🤎

I drink tea more than water

I was waiting
for something extraordinary to happen, but as the years wasted on nothing
ever did
unless I caused it.
- Charles Bukowski

Heard about all the things you've done
And all the wars that you've been in
Heard about all the love you lost
It was over before it began
Heard about all the miles you've gone
Just to start again
Heard about all that you've been through
It sounds like you need a friend, a friend.

It's true that sometimes I am harsh on myself

And it is true that I might not react as real as how I really feel

But sometimes I need that thing or person that can help me, that can organise me as if I am a messy room

Whatever I do, I just go back to the start point

I try everything to bring me back alive, but nothing works