The butcher just lounging in his bathrobe with two teenage friends , Pimples and Rashid. Telling tales about how he lost his cherry to several pounds of liver. The randiest man in the abattoir

"The croupier years". Coming soon tales from the gambling halls and betting shops of Leeds. The truth about Sprinter's Eva Braun. With exclusive interviews from the 4th best toilet cleaner in Pudsey, Julie H and little sis, Emma. They didn't call her the bicycle of Beckett for nothing.

The number one tune for Stuttering Sammy at the Bay Horse.

The cult prepare the accounts for HMRC. Put your hand up if you forgot to add VAT to the merch?

Is it because a student who got a first in education studies thinks London has a beach? Or could it be same student thinks reading a broadsheet everyday for the week is equatable to fully comprehending, Sein und Zeit.

Granny Kathleen reacts badly to the news that Entropy did not deliver the usual $250 that Howler Monkey was accustomed to. No gravlax this week Granny

And it was in this moment Sprinter finally understood himself and came to the realisation that a whole bunch of idiots would donate, donate and donate to keep him from ever getting a proper job. He had fully platypus anchovied his way to the top

Pentiti Adder Limited

I have learned to hate all traitors, and there is no disease that I spit on more than treachery. Especially the podgy pockmarked ones.

What now, Howler Monkey?

The party’s over,

the lights are off,

the crowd’s gone,

the night’s gone cold,

what now, Howler Money?

what now, you?

you without a name,

who mocks the others,

you who write doggerel

who love,  megaphone protest?

what now, Howler Money?


You have no virtue,

you have no speech

you have no affection,

you can’t drink,

you can’t smoke,

you can’t even spit,

the night’s gone cold,

the day didn’t come,

the tram didn’t come,

laughter didn’t come

utopia didn’t come

and everything ended

and everything fled

and everything rotted

what now, Howler Monkey?


what now, Howler Monkey?

Your empty words,

your instance of coop fever,

your feasting and fasting,

your library,

your gold mine,

your glass suit,

your incoherence,

your hate—what now?


Key in hand

you want to open the door,

but no door exists;

you want to die in the sea,

but the sea has dried;

you want to go to Albion

but Albion is no longer there.

Howler Monkey, what now?


If you screamed,

if you moaned,

if you played

a Viennese waltz,

if you slept,

if you tired,

if you died…


Alone in the dark

like a wild animal,

without tradition,

without a naked wall

to lean against,

without a black horse

that flees galloping,

you march, Howler Monkey

Howler Monkey, where to?

"With thee watch. I psycho Seiko solemnly swear to get a very stiff bezel. I hereby acknowledge selling one of my expensive watches would fund 8 billion leaflets about squirrels. Hope my new friends don't ask about the method of slaughter we use."

Tired of all her shagging her way through PA , the white but impure butterfly reposed and waited for the next course. After used to live on t'moors Mike with my fairy luvin wife, Nicky knife mark H and Ruff around the edges Craig it was time to let the younger men have a go. J only joined because he thought it came with the membership. Not sure what part of the Bible this was in.

Raise your hand if you have little idea about director responsibilities.

A potato with ears. TASOB presenter - the one that shagged the yoga teacher. That doesn't narrow it down. Ruff. Nice eyebrows.

Platypus Anchovy - destined to fail

Barkley on the larper Sprinter. The A -Team. 💡

Doesn't really resemble the notorious adventurer, Richard Burton, looks like Craig. but quite a lot like Rev Bazza. Striking resemblance. That girl has issues with oldy baldies. Cheers from all those at Silicon Glen.

...but he's too busy with squirrel 🐿️ leaflets and paintballing these days to be a weekend papa.

Oh, how he loves a sticker. Stickers solve everything, maybe not broken marriages or reversing demographic change. Clue she kept the fancy CCTV cameras in the divorce. Must have been a quick one. Grounds for the divorce may have related to the definition of "cool".

The saddest thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies.

Au travers de son masque on voit à plein le traître;
Partout il est connu pour tout ce qu'il peut être;
Et ses roulemens d'yeux et son ton radouci
N'imposent qu'à des gens qui ne sont point d'ici.
On sait que ce pied plat, digne qu'on le confonde,
Par de sales emplois s'est poussé dans le monde,
Et que par eux son sort, de splendeur revêtu,
Fait gronder le mérite et rougir la vertu.
Quelques titres honteux qu'en tous lieux on lui donne,
Son misérable honneur ne voit pour lui personne.
Nommez-le fourbe, infâme, et scélérat maudit,
Tout le monde en convient, et nul n'y contredit.
Cependant sa grimace est partout bienvenue:
On l'accueille, on lui rit, partout il s'insinue;
Et, s'il est, par la brigue, un rang à disputer,
Sur le plus honnête homme on le voit l'emporter.
Têtebleu! ce me sont de mortelles blessures
De voir qu'avec le vice on garde des mesures.

Imagine a limited company routinely breaching copyright. Donate. Donate. Donate. Going to get expensive for this bunch of amateurs. Zero experience of running anything. Dozens and dozens of copyright breaches. Money for nothing. And you really thought they were going to be a political party?