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ㅤㅤ [🗝] 𝗕𝗘𝗥𝗘𝗙𝗙𝗜𝗡 𝗔-𝗟𝗨𝗡𝗔.

𝐓here lives a nice-looking man. They're sitting on the corner of the room, minding their own business while everyone's admiring the man's charms. Their eyes are open, won't even take a blink to lose the opportunity to stare at this person.. named B‌e‌r‌e‌f‌fi‌n‌. They're a wonderful performer. Their voice is so calming it feels like it's hypnotizing. Their tone is so smooth and gentle it's near feminine. Not just their voice, their muscular body builts with no flaws, even men would be gay for them, respectfully. Their rounded eyes have soft monolids that everyone would fall for them within seconds, those beautiful eyes were made to drown perfectly as they're smiling and makes everyone's heart melts.

... 𝐀nd they feel so lonely among this crowd. They always feel like they're just pretending to be someone else the society wanted them to be. They think that they lost the inner child in their heart. No one gets what they feel. No one understands their pain even if they tried. They used to do their best for living. They used be so excited about surprises, but it's the most terrifying thing that they don't wanna hear about anymore. If you asked about who they are, they would possibly say “I am B‌e‌r‌e‌f‌f‌i‌n‌.” For the rest: their loves, their hates, even their deepest desires. They can no longer tell you whether these emotions are their own, or stolen from those they once so desperately wished to be.
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ㅤ 𝗙𝗘𝗘𝗟𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗢𝗩𝗘𝗥𝗪𝗛𝗘𝗟𝗠𝗘𝗗 𝗜𝗦 𝗔 𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗣?!ㅤ

𝐓he worst feeling is when you're just sitting around consciously procrastinating and you're just overly aware that each second that passes is more time wasted and you like watch hours pass and you're still procrastinating and you can't stop and your panicked brain is trapped inside a body that refuses to be productive and inside you're screaming but outwardly you're just eating chips.

ㅤㅤ 𝗶/𝗶𝗶; 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗥

ㅤㅤ 𝗶𝗶/𝗶𝗶; 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗦𝗨𝗡

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✦𓂃 𝗛𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗜𝗡𝗘𝗦𝗦 𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗣𝗢𝗨𝗡𝗗
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ㅤㅤDear, Joesver Matzel. As you know we have been taught from such a young age that happiness is meant to be this huge, all consuming thing. That it is this moment that cracks open our bones and changes our lives and sweeps all of the weight inside of us away. That it is something that is awarded to us, gifted us by the world. That it is something we are always in pursuit of until we find it. And so, we are always waiting. Waiting for this experience, this simplifying in life, this 'yeah' moment where the wounds are all healed and the growth is all organized neatly within our ribcages and our hearts aren't afraid of loving anymore and the warmth never leaves.

ㅤㅤBut I don't think happiness is big, or infinity, at all. I think real happiness, true happiness, exists in the acceptance of the fact that we will always be balancing what is light and dark within ourselves. Exists in the quiet. In the small things, in the morning cup of coffee, in the sound of your volume music of your phone. Believing that you are meant to be here, that you are meant to take up space in this world. Finding the human beings who take care of you— not in a materialistic way, but rather, finding the human beings who take care of your doul, who take care of even the most chaotic parts of who you are. Is all around you, at all times. Pinned an blooming in the things you stopped paying attention to because you were always searching for more. Flowers on your walk to work. The intensity in the air when you meet somone and you know they're going to change your life. The way your stomach flips when you hear your favorite song. The way person's eyelashes feel as they blink across your neck when you're holding them.