I can hear this gif

@my girlfriend

This pic hurts me

Today I was taking a shower until I got turned on by my own ass. I wondered if i was a faggot for being turned on by myself. But as I started to stroke I realized my penis was very small. I NEVER remember my penis being this small. And guess what? Turns out the government are pouring tons and tons of estrogen into our water supply, turning us into queers and trannys and making out penis smaller. Now hear me out guys! This isn't just me. All members of the Trumpony community, yes I am part of that community are you triggered you sjw tumblrina? haha you leftists get triggered by everything get rekt. Anyways, EVERYONE in the Trumpony community were saying the same thing about their small penises. This can not be coincidental. This has got to be a conspiracy by the leftists and the sjws you gotta believe me. The blacks are going to steal our women you guys

Despacito is not just a “song” but an experience, concrete proof of the existence of a higher being, a reason to wake up in the morning, a mark of evolution of the human race. Despacito was written by intergalactic spacefaring civilizations long ago, and delivered to earth via meteorite. Despacito 2 will come soon, and my hypothesis will be put to the test: that emergence of Despacito is not a mark of human evolution, but the next level of human advancement itself.

4nticake: Poomp the mooscles