1:21 and i will wait, eat half my weight in gold. i don't owe you. i won't.

i won't stretch myself out, you bleed my nerves dry. pretend you did nothing wrong, you know, i still hate you.

fuck was i in love with hope? alleviate my reserve to know, cuz i needed to know what if we were just a coincidence? one big insignificance? i can't wait for you cuz i learned.

i don't ask for too much, i was just asking.

anything can ruin your day like hell if you are really sensitive enough.

i'm not nonchalant about it, actually there's nothing i can do about it.

these past few days taught me that i don't need to actually get hit by a bullet in my forehead to feel dead.

don't these talking monkeys know that Eden has enough to go around? plenty in this holy garden, silly monkeys.

1:40 angels on the sideline, baffled and confused. father blessed them all with reason and this is what they choose?

2:48 monkey killing monkey killing monkey over pieces of the ground. silly monkeys, give them thumbs, they make a club and beat their brother down. how they've survived so misguided is a mystery.

5:42 fight over the clouds, over wind, over sky and fight over life, over blood, over air and light, over love, over sun, over another fight for the time, for the one, for the rise.

angels on the sideline again, benched along with patience and reason, wondering where this tug of war will end.

i can't feel sorry. sorry-ness can't describe the amount of shame that is in my chest for being the one who is still living.