دلم نمیخواست بیام. حتی نمیتونم برم. به دنیا و از دنیا.

for those who left, i wish you misfortune for the life to come. for the pain you dig inside, for leaving all these pages empty. why did you leave?

for those who died, i am coming soon my dears. i don't belong to this life anymore, i am packing my memories to meet you all.

6:11 i've been waiting till death for so many years. i am writing my own ending. god's version? i don't accept, it's way too cruel.

i'm too fucked for this world that i can't even figure out my purpose.

2:20 cause i need to watch things die from a distance. vicariously, i live while the whole world dies. you all need it too, don't lie.

why can't we just admit it? we won't give pause until the blood is flowing. neither the brave nor bold nor brightest of stories told, we won't give pause until the blood is flowing.

blood like rain come down, drum on grave and ground. part vampire, part warrior, carnivore and voyeur. stare at the transmittal, sing to the death rattle.

5:40 credulous at best, your desire to believe in angels in the hearts of men. pull your head on out your hippie haze and give a listen, shouldn't have to say it all again. the universe is hostile, so impersonal. devour to survive, so it is, so it's always been.

we all feed on tragedy, it's like blood to a vampire. vicariously, i live while the whole world dies, much better you than i.

i don't know what am i desire for.

i've searched for so long that i lost the main idea i was looking for.

no amount of guilt can solve the past, and no amount of anxiety can change the future.

i'm probably lost, but the yearn for not being found is killing me.