wasted days,
spent on the floor.
too much to retain.
It's obvious now. / 0:58
I'm filled with doubt.
my paranoid hands,
I keep a clean slate.

"what do you do when you're awake at night?"

بر اساس محاسبات من باید یک ماه پیش بخاطر کمبود خواب از دنیا میرفتم اما حالا نمیدونم اسمشو میزارید معجزه یا دهن‌کجیِ کائنات برای کیر کردن من، ولی سلام.

when your lack of sleep kicks in and now you don't know to be kicked from a window or accidentally kicked by a car.

"دستی دستی داری خودتو برای هیچی فنا میدی"
دقیقا. هدفم دقیقا همینه. فنا شدن برای هیچی.

اطرافیانم یه جوری نصیحتم میکنن انگار بلا نسبت گاوم نمیفهمم که دارم خودم دستی دستی زندگیم رو بگا میدم و منتظرم مرگ من رو به آغوش بکشه. عزیزم that's the point.

It's more than you I'm losing,
The dead's adding up. / 1:18

who's to blame when earth comes to shove? your dreams into the ceiling
and in a flash of my trust,
I turn to wasted time. / 3:10
there's still a passage for us,
through years of days repeating,
we'll reach the end,
in the blink of an eye.

I hate it when lyrics match my mood. It means a lot to me. for example it leads me to my window, or kitchen knife. idk.

oh god I need some fresh air.
(the fresh air of jumping through the window)

I suffer in nothing. if I could disappear, will all this suffering disappear too?

at first it was till 1am, then 2am, 3, 4, 5. but now, I think it will never ends till I pass out.

oh god wtf are you doing up there buddy?

I look at suicide as a chance. if I couldn't go through my shits, I'll attempt. if I could, I'll attempt AGAIN.

عزیزم منم از دست کارها و افکارم خسته‌ام و باور کن اگر این امکان وجود داشت که تا ۵ ثانیه دیگه از وجودیت نیست و محو بشم، لحظه‌ای دریغ نمی‌کردم.