No sound. Lemmie try that again

Thinking back on life’s precious moments.

When I ran for office in Hawaii, I got an endorsement from a well known state politician. Went to his office to make the video with him, and he did endorse but then went on to tell a story about how he used to shoot sea turtles from his yacht.

He’s dead now but I can never post it even tho it’s incredibly on brand for us both.

I’m into some more wild shit now, but the whole story will have to wait till we really win to be told in its entirety.

One day, years from now, y’all are really gonna enjoy the memoirs

I live on a Florida gravel road and I smoke Marlboro Reds and I know America is actually just fine

‘Member when I found a sloth last week? Let’s not skip over that

Par for the course

After this brief interruption of foreign policy side quests, we now return to our regularly scheduled programming of winning

BUY MY BOOK - and if you can find me I’ll sign it

First editions won’t be on sale forever…

https://amzn.to/4ssq5YS

She keeps getting better all the time

We went from a country that patents head cannons to a country that funds the ATF smdh

Please don’t click on any DM’s from my Twitter account. I’ve been hacked.

Should I pay

Depressingly low ransom price btw

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