GameStop Announces That Due To Skyrocketing Stock, They Can Now Afford To Pay Up To 25 Cents For Your Used Games
https://babylonbee.com/news/gamestop-announces-that-due-to-skyrocketing-stock-they-can-now-afford-to-pay-you-up-to-25-cents-for-your-used-game
https://babylonbee.com/news/gamestop-announces-that-due-to-skyrocketing-stock-they-can-now-afford-to-pay-you-up-to-25-cents-for-your-used-game
The Babylon Bee
GameStop Announces That Due To Skyrocketing Stock, They Can Now Afford To Pay Up To 25 Cents For Your Used Games
GRAPEVINE, TX—According to market experts, magical and mysterious forces have somehow pushed GameStop's stock price up by 680% in January alone. Because of this incredible windfall, Gamestop has announced they will soon be able to afford to pay gamers…
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"It is time for us to unite," said the man who ran on the platform that half the nation are deplorable white supremacists.
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The Babylon Bee
Man Who Called Half The Country Racists All Year Calls For Unity
WASHINGTON, D.C.—The man who strongly implied half the nation were racist, Nazi, white supremacists for the entire presidential campaign has called for the nation to unify, sources confirmed Tuesday.
The Babylon Bee pinned «"It is time for us to unite," said the man who ran on the platform that half the nation are deplorable white supremacists. https://babylonbee.com/news/man-who-called-half-the-country-nazis-all-year-calls-for-unity?utm_source=telegram&utm_medium=messenger…»
For a limited time, the holy grail of coffee mugs is no longer reserved for elect subscribers, but has been made available to everyone, without exception—just like salvation.
Disclaimer: This biblically accurate ad was written by an Arminian, or possibly a Molinist. So was this disclaimer. More exclusive offers coming soon when our Calvinist Telegram guy gets back online.
https://shop.babylonbee.com/collections/most-popular/products/fake-news-you-can-trust-mug-1?variant=38532250239145
Disclaimer: This biblically accurate ad was written by an Arminian, or possibly a Molinist. So was this disclaimer. More exclusive offers coming soon when our Calvinist Telegram guy gets back online.
https://shop.babylonbee.com/collections/most-popular/products/fake-news-you-can-trust-mug-1?variant=38532250239145
Babylon Bee Store
Fake News You Can Trust Mug
This mug will look great placed next to your Bible for a carefully choreographed Instagram pic that shows the world you're a top-tier Christian. Product Details: 11oz traditional style Smooth molded ceramic Glossy color exterior with matching color interior…
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Fauci Spins His Handy 'Wheel Of Science' To See What He Should Recommend Today
https://babylonbee.com/news/fauci-spins-wheel-of-science-to-see-what-science-is-recommending-today
https://babylonbee.com/news/fauci-spins-wheel-of-science-to-see-what-science-is-recommending-today
The Babylon Bee
Fauci Spins His Handy 'Wheel Of Science' To See What He Should Recommend Today
WASHINGTON, DC—In a development no one saw coming, Dr. Anthony Fauci has again changed his recommendation about what to do with masks by consulting his tested and proven "Wheel of SCIENCE."
In Effort To Appeal To Socialists, Mike Lindell Introduces ‘OurPillow’
https://babylonbee.com/news/mike-lindell-in-an-effort-to-appeal-to-socialists-introduces-our-pillow
https://babylonbee.com/news/mike-lindell-in-an-effort-to-appeal-to-socialists-introduces-our-pillow
The Babylon Bee
In Effort To Appeal To Socialists, Mike Lindell Introduces ‘OurPillow’
“MyPillow did really well in the Trump era, but now with a new administration, it’s time to try out OurPillow, my comrades!” said an exuberant Mike Lindell. “And we are proud to announce that we are transitioning to overseas factories…
AOC Recalls How She Survived Terrorists Seizing Nakatomi Plaza
https://babylonbee.com/news/aoc-recalls-how-she-survived-terrorists-seizing-nakatomi-plaza/
https://babylonbee.com/news/aoc-recalls-how-she-survived-terrorists-seizing-nakatomi-plaza/
The Babylon Bee
AOC Recalls How She Barely Survived Terrorists Seizing Nakatomi Plaza
“I can tell you that I had a very close encounter where I thought I was going to die," said AOC describing the events at Nakatomi Plaza. “Hans Gruber and his armed thugs took control of the building, and everyone was in a panic.”
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Dangerous Conspiracy Theorist Doesn't Believe Vaccines Work
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The Babylon Bee
Dangerous Conspiracy Theorist Doesn't Believe Vaccines Work
WASHINGTON, D.C.—A dangerous conspiracy theorist based in Washington doesn't believe vaccines work, concerned sources reported Tuesday. He spouted his deadly rhetoric in a speech today, going on about how even if Americans get two doses of the vaccine…
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Media Criticizes Governor DeSantis For Vaccinating Republican Seniors Instead Of Killing Them
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The Babylon Bee
Media Criticizes Governor DeSantis For Vaccinating Republican Seniors Instead Of Killing Them
U.S.—Media outlets around the country have condemned Florida Governor Ron DeSantis after it was discovered he vaccinated vulnerable seniors-- a population that leans conservative.
After Becoming Senate Budget Committee Chair, Bernie Sanders Quickly Googles 'What Is A Budget'
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The Babylon Bee
After Becoming Senate Budget Committee Chair, Bernie Sanders Quickly Googles 'What Is A Budget'
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Sources in Washington are reporting that after being named as the new chairman of the Senate Budget Committee, Bernie retreated into a quiet office to sit at the computer and quickly Google "what is a budget?"