Bernie Buys Fourth Home With Meme Earnings
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The Babylon Bee
Bernie Buys Fourth Home With Meme Earnings
NORWICH, VT—The nation has fallen in love with the now-famous picture of Bernie Sanders sitting grumpily and wearing big mittens at Biden's inauguration. After being turned into a widely-shared meme, the Vermont Senator is enjoying a massive windfall…
Biden: 'If You're Not Okay With Women Aborting Their Babies, Then You Ain't Catholic!'
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The Babylon Bee
Biden: 'If You're Not Okay With Women Aborting Their Babies, Then You Ain't Catholic!'
WASHINGTON, D.C.—President Joe Biden doubled-down on his Catholic faith and his pro-abortion policies Sunday. “Let me be clear,” he said to reporters as he exited Trinity Catholic Church in Georgetown. “If you’re not okay with…
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Our glorious print collection of our best articles—The Sacred Texts of The Babylon Bee—is back in stock. Buy the book critics are calling "lengthy" and "full of pages" before we sell out again!
Our glorious print collection of our best articles—The Sacred Texts of The Babylon Bee—is back in stock. Buy the book critics are calling "lengthy" and "full of pages" before we sell out again!
The Babylon Bee pinned «https://shop.babylonbee.com/collections/most-popular/products/beebook Our glorious print collection of our best articles—The Sacred Texts of The Babylon Bee—is back in stock. Buy the book critics are calling "lengthy" and "full of pages" before we sell out…»
Our beloved child Not the Bee is now on Telegram: https://t.me/itsnotthebee
"I'm not sure why everyone left," said Newsom, hanging his head. "We followed the dictates of SCIENCE and saved billions of lives. Everyone should be thanking me!"
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The Babylon Bee
'You Can Reopen Now!' Governor Newsom Shouts At Row Of Abandoned, Dilapidated Buildings
LOS ANGELES, CA—In a stunning reversal of almost a full year of devastating lockdowns that decimated California businesses, California Governor Gavin Newsom has decided to reverse them all and finally allow businesses to get back to work.
GameStop Announces That Due To Skyrocketing Stock, They Can Now Afford To Pay Up To 25 Cents For Your Used Games
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The Babylon Bee
GameStop Announces That Due To Skyrocketing Stock, They Can Now Afford To Pay Up To 25 Cents For Your Used Games
GRAPEVINE, TX—According to market experts, magical and mysterious forces have somehow pushed GameStop's stock price up by 680% in January alone. Because of this incredible windfall, Gamestop has announced they will soon be able to afford to pay gamers…
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"It is time for us to unite," said the man who ran on the platform that half the nation are deplorable white supremacists.
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The Babylon Bee
Man Who Called Half The Country Racists All Year Calls For Unity
WASHINGTON, D.C.—The man who strongly implied half the nation were racist, Nazi, white supremacists for the entire presidential campaign has called for the nation to unify, sources confirmed Tuesday.
The Babylon Bee pinned «"It is time for us to unite," said the man who ran on the platform that half the nation are deplorable white supremacists. https://babylonbee.com/news/man-who-called-half-the-country-nazis-all-year-calls-for-unity?utm_source=telegram&utm_medium=messenger…»
For a limited time, the holy grail of coffee mugs is no longer reserved for elect subscribers, but has been made available to everyone, without exception—just like salvation.
Disclaimer: This biblically accurate ad was written by an Arminian, or possibly a Molinist. So was this disclaimer. More exclusive offers coming soon when our Calvinist Telegram guy gets back online.
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Disclaimer: This biblically accurate ad was written by an Arminian, or possibly a Molinist. So was this disclaimer. More exclusive offers coming soon when our Calvinist Telegram guy gets back online.
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Babylon Bee Store
Fake News You Can Trust Mug
This mug will look great placed next to your Bible for a carefully choreographed Instagram pic that shows the world you're a top-tier Christian. Product Details: 11oz traditional style Smooth molded ceramic Glossy color exterior with matching color interior…
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Fauci Spins His Handy 'Wheel Of Science' To See What He Should Recommend Today
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The Babylon Bee
Fauci Spins His Handy 'Wheel Of Science' To See What He Should Recommend Today
WASHINGTON, DC—In a development no one saw coming, Dr. Anthony Fauci has again changed his recommendation about what to do with masks by consulting his tested and proven "Wheel of SCIENCE."
In Effort To Appeal To Socialists, Mike Lindell Introduces ‘OurPillow’
https://babylonbee.com/news/mike-lindell-in-an-effort-to-appeal-to-socialists-introduces-our-pillow
https://babylonbee.com/news/mike-lindell-in-an-effort-to-appeal-to-socialists-introduces-our-pillow
The Babylon Bee
In Effort To Appeal To Socialists, Mike Lindell Introduces ‘OurPillow’
“MyPillow did really well in the Trump era, but now with a new administration, it’s time to try out OurPillow, my comrades!” said an exuberant Mike Lindell. “And we are proud to announce that we are transitioning to overseas factories…
AOC Recalls How She Survived Terrorists Seizing Nakatomi Plaza
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The Babylon Bee
AOC Recalls How She Barely Survived Terrorists Seizing Nakatomi Plaza
“I can tell you that I had a very close encounter where I thought I was going to die," said AOC describing the events at Nakatomi Plaza. “Hans Gruber and his armed thugs took control of the building, and everyone was in a panic.”
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