Chapter Two: Dark Times.

The gap was definitely from 12 to 16 years old.

We grew up, my brother had relationships, I had school and all sorts of business.

Father wanted to see the best version of himself in both of us. My brother gave in to his desire and trained in everything his hands could reach, went to various sections, played the guitar. He especially liked model building and the military theme. Father was basically proud of his endeavors. Mother too.

And me, well... I took a back seat, and I wouldn't say I was dissatisfied with it. But there was still my own problem with it.

Father was not satisfied with the fact that I was lazy and constantly sat at the computer, and naturally sent me to grind the granite of various sports sections.

Karate, because of one shameful moment, I was forced to leave the training. Because no one listened to my complaints about poor health, thinking that I was making excuses, in the end I just vomited all over the floor in the hallway and then wiped all this 🔥, yes, fun. 🤦‍♂️

After which I was sent to a military sports club... In a few words, I went through a mini-army on the minimums with all its delights.

And two people immediately took me in, in the bad sense of the word.

Context: I met those two bullies even before joining the VSK (military sports club) and I stood up for a classmate. At that moment I didn't know what I was inviting upon myself.

And during the training I learned a lot of good things about myself

I am weak, a pushover, worthless, stupid, a clown. 💥

But one day completely turned my thinking upside down.

One day in the ranks there was talk about a local group of football hooligans in our city. Naturally, they told me, an impressionable 12-13 year old boy, what would happen if they burned you on their territory in a camouflage football shirt. And guess what happens if an impressionable 12-year-old boy damn well hears something dangerous.... Ohhh well, of course! Of course, I told the coach, the coach by the way didn't understand a damn thing about what I told him then and didn't give a fuck. However, when the information reached those same two guys, panic started among them.

If anything, I don't justify myself, it was really the stupidest decision in my life. I won't even make a discount for my young age, it would have been better if they really finished me off then.

What did this lead to in the end. The mess grew to the point that they wanted to send a 12-year-old boy to a solo beating by 20-25 year old men with adult faces, so they would beat me up in the market. There was even a secret chat that was then dissolved.

Then they decided to do it differently, they just told one of the hooligans everything about me, supposedly called him to the school where I studied so that I would come out and he would give me a beating. When they started calling me, and they were literally pulling me out of class, I said clearly and distinctly "I will come out after school and do whatever you want" this answer did not please those who surrounded me. And one decided to joke with me and put a leg trip... He thought that I would just land on my ass and everyone would laugh, but no... The laughter stopped when I rolled head over heels against the wall and hit my back of the head a little bit on the stone floor and started to convulse and choke on vomiting. While a whole crowd stood over me and laughed out loud. Unfortunately, they called an ambulance from the crowd, so alas, I survived 🎧.

You ask "and what about the parents?" Nothing, they just forced me to stay in the club and not pay attention to the fact that I am being literally pursued. Well, I chose to endure.

So, now you know why I mainly rely on my own strength, rarely resorting to other people's help.

As a result, I went into voluntary seclusion for a whole year, I only went out to school and to training, completely immersed in myself and in computer games.

Chapter Three

Army:

I won't touch on certain topics here. I'll only take the social part.

Well, after getting an education, I went to serve.

At that time, there was already an internet girl from another republic. With her unforgettable as fuck history.

From a simple unsuccessful family to a whole rape. And here I won't guess whether it was all a fabrication or not, I'll leave that to the conscience of the ex herself. But to say that I believed it and humiliated myself extremely strongly for all this happening in my life means to say nothing.

And so, already ruffled by all the events, I flew off to serve.

At the beginning, everything went well, and then the shitshow started.

There was the first conflict with a comrade-in-arms and it went so far that I couldn't hold back and threatened him with a bayonet knife. And here I'll note, I didn't plan to cut or kill anyone, just the hand wouldn't raise. I just used the fact that the person would get scared, it worked for one moment, but then the company took a look at me.

And when the question arose whether I needed a psychologist, I agreed to go to him. As a result, the same shenanigans followed:

Useless

Weak

Unlucky

Clown

Sissy

Useless

Who knows nothing and doesn't want to know anything.

Disgracing everyone, disgracing himself, disgracing the army, his family. Disgracing everyone to hell! Damn it, killing is not enough! Honestly, it would be better if they killed me.

And when I was sitting at the post, with a rifle and live ammunition, I thought "damn it, how fucking awesome! I have in my hands a whole solution to my life's question, I can damn it just load a cartridge into the magazine, put the barrel to my head and put a period to hell on all my affairs" but I didn't decide, why, damn it, who the hell knows 🤷‍♂️

But admit, it would be great if there were fewer idiots in the world. (Suicide is not a solution, do not succumb to this, if you have any difficulties contact a specialist or call the helpline)

A chance to somehow rehabilitate appeared. I was transferred to another unit, where I was able to restore the right to carry a weapon, and was able to serve normally until the end. There were difficulties, but not so hard.

Chapter Four: Return to My Pit

Well, I'm finally home... But there's a catch: I've lost my mind. Literally 🙂 due to constant stress and tension, without details, I just got PTSD and reacted to every clap and explosion as if I were on duty trying to find a radio and a rifle.

They gave me a month to rest... But it wasn't enough for me to recover after service. So with a broken brain, I went to work at a factory.

OH MY GOD how lucky I was to work in one workshop with my father and brother. 🤗 It was fucking beautiful.

Naturally, my brother's opinion that I was a useless piece of shit remained, and I was good for nothing. But with half a heart, I passed the internship and started working.

Everything went wonderfully, I was finally earning money, there it is! Finally I'm not useless! I can be proud of something, I was useful for something! I worked for a year and I liked the job, I was stoned.

Then suddenly a coworker didn't like something about me. Because of which he just started spreading empty rumors that I was some shit worker. And the rumors were so strong that fucking everyone in the workshop knew. And EVEN WORSE! It reached my family.

And for about a month, that was the picture: I go to work, I get tired there, but I work normally, but I still get tired. I return home and they already start the tenth scandal about how I'm somehow shaming the family. DO YOU UNDERSTAND FUCK? SHAMING THE FAMILY, FATHER IS ASHAMED OF ME!

In the end, I couldn't take it again, I fucked off everyone, packed my backpack and walked on foot to another city just to walk around just to fuck off and get lost.

😈 And many found it funny, and what really was. Funny! Why are you whining, there is a war going on, why are you complaining about anything or are you the most important? 🥺 And indeed, I was a fucking devil at least then I thought about it.

Of course, they called me later and talked me out of my rash decision. Finally heard!!!! Right? Yes yes 😊 of course.

The same old song. I refused to get hired at the factory, I got hired at a store.

I felt like I was at the bottom... And then I decided to swallow a handful of pills... Which turned out to be non-lethal
As they joked, "now you won't be able to shit for a whole month". 🤔(Do people die from constipation?)

I got fired, because of conflicts at work. Here I don't remember if I was the cause of them or the colleagues.

I got hired at the factory and just couldn't handle the workshop due to my physical capabilities due to the heat I just fainted. And at one of the places the instructors didn't want to teach me the position and in a month I didn't learn all the thermal energy.

In the end, conflicts in the family again, returning home with nothing.

Useless

Worthless

Chapter Five: The Big City

Again... With 26 thousand in my pocket, I decided to leave home. Because I simply didn't want to live there. And I really felt like an obstacle.

I moved to a friend in St. Petersburg. I got a job in a small shop... And guess what... Yeah, again, I couldn't handle the workload, because I had to serve literally 100 customers a day, doing ten tasks at once while replacing five people at once, I simply couldn't manage it. I quit... Went to a bread factory.

There I started working and it seemed to be going well.

Parallel to this, the friend I came to had his own conflicts in his family. His drunk stepfather almost tried to kill him, but I drove him off.

The result was that I had to move to a rented apartment.

Taking my friend under my wing. And I ended up in financial shit.

My friend wasn't in a rush to find a job, renew his passport, screw that. There's a feeder who is barely holding on so as not to jump off the balcony of the 12th floor.

Of course, through conversations, I managed to convince him to find a job.

And what about the bread factory? Lol forget it, same song. Heavy pace, starving due to lack of food and colleagues cursing me. I quit 🎹

Then a warehouse where they simply screwed us with the salary. And again the bottom, because we were evicted from the rented apartment because one guy considered himself very important and hated us, especially my companion. 🔥 Fuck it.

And guess what, again nothing. Again I went home under the persuasion of my family.

A couple more conflicts, again an attempt to run away from my own problems. And again a return home.

Only at home they didn't wait for me joyfully, they just cursed me for the suicide attempt. Don't forget to note what useless shit I do, namely drawing and writing books, I am engaged in.

Again a useless nothing.

Current time.

Now... Everything has more or less evened out.

I found a job where I work steadily, found some kind of inner core, and stopped giving in to any difficulties.

Of course, I haven't felt like a family for a long time. Honestly, I'm inclined to think that I am an unwanted child.

I finally found love and wow... It turns out I could be listened to and instead of judgment, shown the right path... It turns out, damn it, I could just be heard about what's going on with me and have some sympathy shown.

And I will suddenly respond in kind, not just be a pillow for tears but also help financially. And I myself will be support.

😊 Funny, bitch, paradox, isn't it?

So that's where all my actions come from.

And my panicked thoughts.

And my lamentation.

And my self-flagellation.

And my hatred for my own creations.

🤓 That's me, Lova Foczhart (artist), damn it.

A fucking clown who lived a fucking comedic life.

🌸 Peace and happiness to you

I wrote my biography not to show off or to highlight that I am some kind of special person.

I just decided to share it so you know who you are communicating with.

I am not special, it just turned out that way. For some it might be better, for some it might be worse 🤷‍♀️

Investigation into the case of Dayam Bobel and the outcome of the storming of Giver-star-zhi.

What was the Ministry of Defense doing while soldiers of the IFCCF were dying in Yeenland?

Celebrating the New Year, to some extent you will be right.

The Ministry of Defense of the CCF began to notice a budget leak from the state treasury, to which a corresponding measure followed.

The SCAD together with the SFID and the CDIA (Central Department of Internal Affairs) conducted an investigation into the case of theft of state property and the case of financial fraud. The trail led them to the then Minister of Defense of the Armed Forces of the Canine-chat Federation, Dayam Bobel Da'Li.

Dayama himself did not appear on that day at the congress of the Central Council of the Federation on the issue of the Yeen conflict. Moreover, he was not even at home. Where was he? 🤨

And he was arrested at the border with Tagria. Foxtovian border guards noticed suspicious behavior by Bobel; the minister was nervous and rushed so much to cross the border that he began to conflict with the border guards, who for reasons unclear to him began to perform their duties according to the regulations.

Receiving news of the detention of the Minister of Defense of the CCF, the commander of the military unit reported to the local commander of the DIA detachment in Viltav, Southern Foxtovia.

You probably will ask, "wait a minute, but isn't Tagria a republic within the Federation?" Yes, Tagria is part of the CCF, however, military personnel are required to undergo special inspections. Plus checkpoints are set up on all borders between the autonomous republics of the CCF, so they check everyone. Moreover, the SCAD established a special security measure during military conflicts. Having learned from the bitter experience of the Foxtovian-Tagrian War, the SCAD decided on a special martial law regime in the country, under which citizens were subjected to inspection at border crossing points.