Well, I recently had a conversation with a foreigner about his anxiety regarding the situation in the world and especially in his country. The foreigner is from Britain, and the name of that country has been mentioned in principle.
Here is what the conversation was about. First of all, upon learning that I am Russian, he naturally asked what is happening with us, because as I understood (I hope correctly), he was somewhat tired of his own propaganda. I tactfully steered away from the topic of Russia and took up a more global topic of politics.
In the following posts, I will also avoid certain topics to avoid accidentally breaking the law. Also, to avoid unnecessary conflicts about who is right and who is to blame.
And moreover, discussing when and how one politician said a few swear words to another politician, about which I do not want to talk and am not interested.
Because much more important... People, yes. Without peoples, there would be no countries, no politics, or any communities at all.
Here is what the conversation was about. First of all, upon learning that I am Russian, he naturally asked what is happening with us, because as I understood (I hope correctly), he was somewhat tired of his own propaganda. I tactfully steered away from the topic of Russia and took up a more global topic of politics.
In the following posts, I will also avoid certain topics to avoid accidentally breaking the law. Also, to avoid unnecessary conflicts about who is right and who is to blame.
And moreover, discussing when and how one politician said a few swear words to another politician, about which I do not want to talk and am not interested.
Because much more important... People, yes. Without peoples, there would be no countries, no politics, or any communities at all.
Let's take two layers for analysis.
Media personalities - such as journalists, bloggers, activists.
Ordinary citizens - all of us and other people on earth.
Media personalities - such as journalists, bloggers, activists.
Ordinary citizens - all of us and other people on earth.
Information and the information field in general are a very important milestone. And it was so not only in the present time.
Information warfare has always been part of politics since the beginning of centuries.
At one time, it was said that this ruler is not godly, and one must bless a crusade.
At another time, a ruler said that his army is the most powerful, and his opponent laughed.
And all this goes like a ladder, and the lower the step, the hotter it gets.
I would call this the effect of a broken phone.
Information is given from the top, and the grapevine among the villagers of a small town spreads the information in a different form.
The factors of information distortion or its embellishment can be various. From a simple "didn't understand correctly" to greedy personal relationships with the received information.
A living example, let's call it the migrant crisis:
A migrant committed a crime, they arrested him.
A supporter of migration, because of their views, will necessarily call the government incorrect and terrible, and often without wanting to look into the situation in detail.
An opponent of migration, on the contrary, will praise the government and will rejoice about another justice in relation to migrants. TO MIGRANTS and not TO THE CRIMINAL.
I have narrowed this down to a very, very small volume, but I hope it is understandable.
Information warfare has always been part of politics since the beginning of centuries.
At one time, it was said that this ruler is not godly, and one must bless a crusade.
At another time, a ruler said that his army is the most powerful, and his opponent laughed.
And all this goes like a ladder, and the lower the step, the hotter it gets.
I would call this the effect of a broken phone.
Information is given from the top, and the grapevine among the villagers of a small town spreads the information in a different form.
The factors of information distortion or its embellishment can be various. From a simple "didn't understand correctly" to greedy personal relationships with the received information.
A living example, let's call it the migrant crisis:
A migrant committed a crime, they arrested him.
A supporter of migration, because of their views, will necessarily call the government incorrect and terrible, and often without wanting to look into the situation in detail.
An opponent of migration, on the contrary, will praise the government and will rejoice about another justice in relation to migrants. TO MIGRANTS and not TO THE CRIMINAL.
I have narrowed this down to a very, very small volume, but I hope it is understandable.
No one lives forever ๐บ๐ธ
Information and the information field in general are a very important milestone. And it was so not only in the present time. Information warfare has always been part of politics since the beginning of centuries. At one time, it was said that this ruler isโฆ
And a roughly similar model applies to almost all aspects of politics, be it: war, sanctions, reforms, and so on.
Let's move on to those very mentioned layers.
Media personalities are the main source of information, especially in the modern world. And the main problem is that absolutely everyone in this sphere is dependent. Some are dependent on state grants, some on an opposition audience or the same money from foreign recruiters.
And naturally, everyone makes their contribution to the informational bullshit.
So... scrolling through Shorts or TikTok, how many times have you encountered another "fucking investigation" where a journalist, digging their hand into someone else's ass, looks at what watch a certain minister wears or on what yachts he sails or what real estate he has. Personally, I have often seen this. So often that I was already fucked by boredom.
And another topic, a pressing one. Culture, nationalization, and all that. Damn, I have very often heard all kinds of curses from different sides. And they attach some loud private case to support their judgment.
And damn, to be honest, this is the most disgusting thing you can do๐คฎ . Projecting a private case onto the picture of an entire nation. Provoking blind hatred towards someone.
I directly don't know why this is done, I can only assume.
First, this is information noise. All these useless investigations and other things, of course, may carry some meaning and reveal something, but mostly it is just an empty shot into the sky. Nothing but babbling of old women on a bench in front of the entrance, I don't see anything else in this.
Second, this is the promotion of certain views to the masses. A little fox came to a tiger bar, got drunk, and cursed all the residents. They filmed it, gave it to a national publication, and they covered it. So now all tigers don't like little foxes, now little foxes are drunk pigs. For God's sake, this is not just a kindergarten, but it is already like saying that if a village boy got a failing grade in school, then all village boys are fucking uneducated, regardless of the fact that such a village boy is a straight-A student.
Media personalities are the main source of information, especially in the modern world. And the main problem is that absolutely everyone in this sphere is dependent. Some are dependent on state grants, some on an opposition audience or the same money from foreign recruiters.
And naturally, everyone makes their contribution to the informational bullshit.
So... scrolling through Shorts or TikTok, how many times have you encountered another "fucking investigation" where a journalist, digging their hand into someone else's ass, looks at what watch a certain minister wears or on what yachts he sails or what real estate he has. Personally, I have often seen this. So often that I was already fucked by boredom.
And another topic, a pressing one. Culture, nationalization, and all that. Damn, I have very often heard all kinds of curses from different sides. And they attach some loud private case to support their judgment.
And damn, to be honest, this is the most disgusting thing you can do
I directly don't know why this is done, I can only assume.
First, this is information noise. All these useless investigations and other things, of course, may carry some meaning and reveal something, but mostly it is just an empty shot into the sky. Nothing but babbling of old women on a bench in front of the entrance, I don't see anything else in this.
Second, this is the promotion of certain views to the masses. A little fox came to a tiger bar, got drunk, and cursed all the residents. They filmed it, gave it to a national publication, and they covered it. So now all tigers don't like little foxes, now little foxes are drunk pigs. For God's sake, this is not just a kindergarten, but it is already like saying that if a village boy got a failing grade in school, then all village boys are fucking uneducated, regardless of the fact that such a village boy is a straight-A student.
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No one lives forever ๐บ๐ธ
Let's move on to those very mentioned layers. Media personalities are the main source of information, especially in the modern world. And the main problem is that absolutely everyone in this sphere is dependent. Some are dependent on state grants, some onโฆ
Summarizing this: I advise not to give in to the temptation of excessive emotions and hatred. It is better to judge according to the testimony and think more soberly. A good example is my surroundings; we have heard a lot and clearly see that much of what is said in the news (whether official or unofficial) does not have a mass character. And I am sure we understand this perfectly, at least I hope so.
Another layer
It is society itself - ordinary people also sometimes feel the responsibility and power of their words and views, and also wish to either spread this or hold on to it in agreement with their communities.
We are all social animals, and it is important to be heard and to receive reciprocal agreement with our way of life.
However, from this can grow the same problems that were described above.
People are also led by what they want to hear, ignoring even the possibility of considering the other side of the issue. And unfortunately, we are blind in this.
I understand there are personal cases where a fact stated on the internet was confirmed by some coincidence. But be sure, this is most often nothing more than a coincidence.
And it is best to mostly think with your own head, but not to exclude other sides and also nuances of the sharp social question.
Hatred always breeds only reciprocal hatred, which can outweigh even more strongly and create an even more powerful direct atomic bomb of anger and rage.
Yes, it is very, very difficult to agree with the fact that you are wrong in something or that you misunderstood something. But one should never dismiss the probability that you might be wrong in something. And the sooner you stop the inner blind anger, the better.
Personally, I have encountered my own suggestibility, and it is very destructive. Many times I made very stupid decisions based on emotions. Do not do this; in the best case, an extra problem will appear that you will have to solve, and in the worst case, it will accumulate into a big lump and explode so that you will remember it for the rest of your life.
It is society itself - ordinary people also sometimes feel the responsibility and power of their words and views, and also wish to either spread this or hold on to it in agreement with their communities.
We are all social animals, and it is important to be heard and to receive reciprocal agreement with our way of life.
However, from this can grow the same problems that were described above.
People are also led by what they want to hear, ignoring even the possibility of considering the other side of the issue. And unfortunately, we are blind in this.
I understand there are personal cases where a fact stated on the internet was confirmed by some coincidence. But be sure, this is most often nothing more than a coincidence.
And it is best to mostly think with your own head, but not to exclude other sides and also nuances of the sharp social question.
Hatred always breeds only reciprocal hatred, which can outweigh even more strongly and create an even more powerful direct atomic bomb of anger and rage.
Yes, it is very, very difficult to agree with the fact that you are wrong in something or that you misunderstood something. But one should never dismiss the probability that you might be wrong in something. And the sooner you stop the inner blind anger, the better.
Personally, I have encountered my own suggestibility, and it is very destructive. Many times I made very stupid decisions based on emotions. Do not do this; in the best case, an extra problem will appear that you will have to solve, and in the worst case, it will accumulate into a big lump and explode so that you will remember it for the rest of your life.
No one lives forever ๐บ๐ธ
Another layer It is society itself - ordinary people also sometimes feel the responsibility and power of their words and views, and also wish to either spread this or hold on to it in agreement with their communities. We are all social animals, and it isโฆ
Summarizing: try to maintain a sober view of the various things you encounter in your life.
And now the main question: how not to get nervous if the world is going to hell?! How not to get nervous if something is wrong in the country.
You won't believe it.... There is a compromise after all.
This is what I do, I don't force you to do the same but it might be useful to someone.
First of all... Don't clutter your head with various information garbage. Throw out all these empty investigations, debates, assumptions, and so on. None of us is Vanga, none of us can see the future.
Better unsubscribe from all news channels, both state and opposition, believe me, it will unload your mind.
If you still need to find out some information or the question has become urgent. Then do not be shy to find information, but look for it in such a way that you do not deceive yourself (and this is very easy, believe me). Avoid overly heated speeches because what is said and done with bias risks being unfair. (Fairness done with bias risks losing fairness)
Study the issue from all possible sides, look not at one source but at different ones. Look at what one says and what the other says and try to compose your own more logical picture based on more down-to-earth facts. Simply put, in various articles, a political thriller is often spun out, and then everything turns out to be much more prosaic than they describe to you.
And most importantly, focus on yourself and your close circle, on those problems that concern you directly. Your life and the lives of your loved ones are more important than some political situation abroad or in another region.
If you want, you can move to a new life, if you want, you can live with what you already have. Your life will not break because some billionaire bought himself a Rolex watch, it's just stupidly feeding envy, I do not advise doing this otherwise you will simply not be different from such same bullshitters who have money to write their own articles.
You won't believe it.... There is a compromise after all.
This is what I do, I don't force you to do the same but it might be useful to someone.
First of all... Don't clutter your head with various information garbage. Throw out all these empty investigations, debates, assumptions, and so on. None of us is Vanga, none of us can see the future.
Better unsubscribe from all news channels, both state and opposition, believe me, it will unload your mind.
If you still need to find out some information or the question has become urgent. Then do not be shy to find information, but look for it in such a way that you do not deceive yourself (and this is very easy, believe me). Avoid overly heated speeches because what is said and done with bias risks being unfair. (Fairness done with bias risks losing fairness)
Study the issue from all possible sides, look not at one source but at different ones. Look at what one says and what the other says and try to compose your own more logical picture based on more down-to-earth facts. Simply put, in various articles, a political thriller is often spun out, and then everything turns out to be much more prosaic than they describe to you.
And most importantly, focus on yourself and your close circle, on those problems that concern you directly. Your life and the lives of your loved ones are more important than some political situation abroad or in another region.
If you want, you can move to a new life, if you want, you can live with what you already have. Your life will not break because some billionaire bought himself a Rolex watch, it's just stupidly feeding envy, I do not advise doing this otherwise you will simply not be different from such same bullshitters who have money to write their own articles.
And yes, I am afraid. Who is not afraid? Everyone is afraid of war, everyone is afraid of crisis. Fear is an absolutely normal phenomenon, fear is created for our own safety, it is a banal instinct of self-preservation.
But one must know how to control it sometimes, and reflections on buttons can scare oneself.
So do not let unnecessary emotions erase your reason and do not let them blind you.
Sometimes sit down and just think about what can be done and what is better to postpone until better days.
Sometimes an end leads to new beginnings.
But one must know how to control it sometimes, and reflections on buttons can scare oneself.
So do not let unnecessary emotions erase your reason and do not let them blind you.
Sometimes sit down and just think about what can be done and what is better to postpone until better days.
Sometimes an end leads to new beginnings.
And now the most unexpected thing for half of the channel's audience.
A Tale of Hate: My Personal One.
I was born into an absolutely ordinary, average family. We were not rich, but we were not poor either.
From the outside, the family looked good and tidy; the children were fed and happy, the wife was happy, and everything was fine.
But after hearing my story, I think you will understand why I have such an attitude towards life, towards hate, and other human vices and conflicts.
I don't even know where to start, but I will note the important stages of my life.
I was born into an absolutely ordinary, average family. We were not rich, but we were not poor either.
From the outside, the family looked good and tidy; the children were fed and happy, the wife was happy, and everything was fine.
But after hearing my story, I think you will understand why I have such an attitude towards life, towards hate, and other human vices and conflicts.
I don't even know where to start, but I will note the important stages of my life.
Chapter One: Brother.
My old brother... is unusual.
He lived a difficult life in our city. He was often subjected to external violence; things were burned for him and he was beaten. He was persecuted throughout the city. I remember a prank by hooligans dragged on so long that they almost killed my mother with their stupid joke involving small balloons scattered under the door.
This strongly influenced his views, making him a rather withdrawn person.
And my birth completely turned his world upside down. You see, when a second child is born into the family at the beginning of his life, all priority is given to the newborn. Because of this, my brother lacked attention for a long time. And this often led to conflicts due to simple jealousy.
For 16 years, all we did was acknowledge each other as a fact of our existence.
I returned home with one thought: how to prevent my older brother from confronting me about something.
I will not speak or think for him.
Nowadays, with him... well, how to say... Before his departure, we were still able to level our brotherly relationship and communicated quite well and smoothly. Now, honestly, we do not exchange any dialogue. I don't know about my brother, but personally, I have nothing to say to him.
There was a lot of everything, and pride over the fact that I failed in something. And class pressure based on physical and mental abilities.
But despite this similarity of family relations, we maintained them with him.
My old brother... is unusual.
He lived a difficult life in our city. He was often subjected to external violence; things were burned for him and he was beaten. He was persecuted throughout the city. I remember a prank by hooligans dragged on so long that they almost killed my mother with their stupid joke involving small balloons scattered under the door.
This strongly influenced his views, making him a rather withdrawn person.
And my birth completely turned his world upside down. You see, when a second child is born into the family at the beginning of his life, all priority is given to the newborn. Because of this, my brother lacked attention for a long time. And this often led to conflicts due to simple jealousy.
For 16 years, all we did was acknowledge each other as a fact of our existence.
I returned home with one thought: how to prevent my older brother from confronting me about something.
I will not speak or think for him.
Nowadays, with him... well, how to say... Before his departure, we were still able to level our brotherly relationship and communicated quite well and smoothly. Now, honestly, we do not exchange any dialogue. I don't know about my brother, but personally, I have nothing to say to him.
There was a lot of everything, and pride over the fact that I failed in something. And class pressure based on physical and mental abilities.
But despite this similarity of family relations, we maintained them with him.
Chapter Two: Dark Times.
The gap was definitely from 12 to 16 years old.
We grew up, my brother had relationships, I had school and all sorts of business.
Father wanted to see the best version of himself in both of us. My brother gave in to his desire and trained in everything his hands could reach, went to various sections, played the guitar. He especially liked model building and the military theme. Father was basically proud of his endeavors. Mother too.
And me, well... I took a back seat, and I wouldn't say I was dissatisfied with it. But there was still my own problem with it.
Father was not satisfied with the fact that I was lazy and constantly sat at the computer, and naturally sent me to grind the granite of various sports sections.
Karate, because of one shameful moment, I was forced to leave the training. Because no one listened to my complaints about poor health, thinking that I was making excuses, in the end I just vomited all over the floor in the hallway and then wiped all this๐ฅ , yes, fun. ๐คฆโโ๏ธ
After which I was sent to a military sports club... In a few words, I went through a mini-army on the minimums with all its delights.
And two people immediately took me in, in the bad sense of the word.
Context: I met those two bullies even before joining the VSK (military sports club) and I stood up for a classmate. At that moment I didn't know what I was inviting upon myself.
And during the training I learned a lot of good things about myself
I am weak, a pushover, worthless, stupid, a clown.๐ฅ
But one day completely turned my thinking upside down.
One day in the ranks there was talk about a local group of football hooligans in our city. Naturally, they told me, an impressionable 12-13 year old boy, what would happen if they burned you on their territory in a camouflage football shirt. And guess what happens if an impressionable 12-year-old boy damn well hears something dangerous.... Ohhh well, of course! Of course, I told the coach, the coach by the way didn't understand a damn thing about what I told him then and didn't give a fuck. However, when the information reached those same two guys, panic started among them.
If anything, I don't justify myself, it was really the stupidest decision in my life. I won't even make a discount for my young age, it would have been better if they really finished me off then.
What did this lead to in the end. The mess grew to the point that they wanted to send a 12-year-old boy to a solo beating by 20-25 year old men with adult faces, so they would beat me up in the market. There was even a secret chat that was then dissolved.
Then they decided to do it differently, they just told one of the hooligans everything about me, supposedly called him to the school where I studied so that I would come out and he would give me a beating. When they started calling me, and they were literally pulling me out of class, I said clearly and distinctly "I will come out after school and do whatever you want" this answer did not please those who surrounded me. And one decided to joke with me and put a leg trip... He thought that I would just land on my ass and everyone would laugh, but no... The laughter stopped when I rolled head over heels against the wall and hit my back of the head a little bit on the stone floor and started to convulse and choke on vomiting. While a whole crowd stood over me and laughed out loud. Unfortunately, they called an ambulance from the crowd, so alas, I survived๐ง .
You ask "and what about the parents?" Nothing, they just forced me to stay in the club and not pay attention to the fact that I am being literally pursued. Well, I chose to endure.
So, now you know why I mainly rely on my own strength, rarely resorting to other people's help.
As a result, I went into voluntary seclusion for a whole year, I only went out to school and to training, completely immersed in myself and in computer games.
The gap was definitely from 12 to 16 years old.
We grew up, my brother had relationships, I had school and all sorts of business.
Father wanted to see the best version of himself in both of us. My brother gave in to his desire and trained in everything his hands could reach, went to various sections, played the guitar. He especially liked model building and the military theme. Father was basically proud of his endeavors. Mother too.
And me, well... I took a back seat, and I wouldn't say I was dissatisfied with it. But there was still my own problem with it.
Father was not satisfied with the fact that I was lazy and constantly sat at the computer, and naturally sent me to grind the granite of various sports sections.
Karate, because of one shameful moment, I was forced to leave the training. Because no one listened to my complaints about poor health, thinking that I was making excuses, in the end I just vomited all over the floor in the hallway and then wiped all this
After which I was sent to a military sports club... In a few words, I went through a mini-army on the minimums with all its delights.
And two people immediately took me in, in the bad sense of the word.
Context: I met those two bullies even before joining the VSK (military sports club) and I stood up for a classmate. At that moment I didn't know what I was inviting upon myself.
And during the training I learned a lot of good things about myself
I am weak, a pushover, worthless, stupid, a clown.
But one day completely turned my thinking upside down.
One day in the ranks there was talk about a local group of football hooligans in our city. Naturally, they told me, an impressionable 12-13 year old boy, what would happen if they burned you on their territory in a camouflage football shirt. And guess what happens if an impressionable 12-year-old boy damn well hears something dangerous.... Ohhh well, of course! Of course, I told the coach, the coach by the way didn't understand a damn thing about what I told him then and didn't give a fuck. However, when the information reached those same two guys, panic started among them.
If anything, I don't justify myself, it was really the stupidest decision in my life. I won't even make a discount for my young age, it would have been better if they really finished me off then.
What did this lead to in the end. The mess grew to the point that they wanted to send a 12-year-old boy to a solo beating by 20-25 year old men with adult faces, so they would beat me up in the market. There was even a secret chat that was then dissolved.
Then they decided to do it differently, they just told one of the hooligans everything about me, supposedly called him to the school where I studied so that I would come out and he would give me a beating. When they started calling me, and they were literally pulling me out of class, I said clearly and distinctly "I will come out after school and do whatever you want" this answer did not please those who surrounded me. And one decided to joke with me and put a leg trip... He thought that I would just land on my ass and everyone would laugh, but no... The laughter stopped when I rolled head over heels against the wall and hit my back of the head a little bit on the stone floor and started to convulse and choke on vomiting. While a whole crowd stood over me and laughed out loud. Unfortunately, they called an ambulance from the crowd, so alas, I survived
You ask "and what about the parents?" Nothing, they just forced me to stay in the club and not pay attention to the fact that I am being literally pursued. Well, I chose to endure.
So, now you know why I mainly rely on my own strength, rarely resorting to other people's help.
As a result, I went into voluntary seclusion for a whole year, I only went out to school and to training, completely immersed in myself and in computer games.
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I fucked up my well-being and health so much that by the end of the year I was constantly stink like a pile of shit. Because I just lay in bed and drank liters of energy drinks (sometimes I got some cash) and sat my ass in front of the computer. And fuck, I was only thinking about one thing back then: "Fuck, why was I born such a retard?" "Why didn't they finish me off, it would have been better for everyone" and other whining from a little pussy.
No one lives forever ๐บ๐ธ
I fucked up my well-being and health so much that by the end of the year I was constantly stink like a pile of shit. Because I just lay in bed and drank liters of energy drinks (sometimes I got some cash) and sat my ass in front of the computer. And fuck,โฆ
From my family, I got nothing except words about how I am a useless piece of shit who can't do anything and doesn't want to learn anything. In some way, they were right, I would say.
Chapter Three
Army:
I won't touch on certain topics here. I'll only take the social part.
Well, after getting an education, I went to serve.
At that time, there was already an internet girl from another republic. With her unforgettable as fuck history.
From a simple unsuccessful family to a whole rape. And here I won't guess whether it was all a fabrication or not, I'll leave that to the conscience of the ex herself. But to say that I believed it and humiliated myself extremely strongly for all this happening in my life means to say nothing.
And so, already ruffled by all the events, I flew off to serve.
At the beginning, everything went well, and then the shitshow started.
There was the first conflict with a comrade-in-arms and it went so far that I couldn't hold back and threatened him with a bayonet knife. And here I'll note, I didn't plan to cut or kill anyone, just the hand wouldn't raise. I just used the fact that the person would get scared, it worked for one moment, but then the company took a look at me.
And when the question arose whether I needed a psychologist, I agreed to go to him. As a result, the same shenanigans followed:
Useless
Weak
Unlucky
Clown
Sissy
Useless
Who knows nothing and doesn't want to know anything.
Disgracing everyone, disgracing himself, disgracing the army, his family. Disgracing everyone to hell! Damn it, killing is not enough! Honestly, it would be better if they killed me.
And when I was sitting at the post, with a rifle and live ammunition, I thought "damn it, how fucking awesome! I have in my hands a whole solution to my life's question, I can damn it just load a cartridge into the magazine, put the barrel to my head and put a period to hell on all my affairs" but I didn't decide, why, damn it, who the hell knows๐คทโโ๏ธ
But admit, it would be great if there were fewer idiots in the world. (Suicide is not a solution, do not succumb to this, if you have any difficulties contact a specialist or call the helpline)
A chance to somehow rehabilitate appeared. I was transferred to another unit, where I was able to restore the right to carry a weapon, and was able to serve normally until the end. There were difficulties, but not so hard.
Army:
I won't touch on certain topics here. I'll only take the social part.
Well, after getting an education, I went to serve.
At that time, there was already an internet girl from another republic. With her unforgettable as fuck history.
From a simple unsuccessful family to a whole rape. And here I won't guess whether it was all a fabrication or not, I'll leave that to the conscience of the ex herself. But to say that I believed it and humiliated myself extremely strongly for all this happening in my life means to say nothing.
And so, already ruffled by all the events, I flew off to serve.
At the beginning, everything went well, and then the shitshow started.
There was the first conflict with a comrade-in-arms and it went so far that I couldn't hold back and threatened him with a bayonet knife. And here I'll note, I didn't plan to cut or kill anyone, just the hand wouldn't raise. I just used the fact that the person would get scared, it worked for one moment, but then the company took a look at me.
And when the question arose whether I needed a psychologist, I agreed to go to him. As a result, the same shenanigans followed:
Useless
Weak
Unlucky
Clown
Sissy
Useless
Who knows nothing and doesn't want to know anything.
Disgracing everyone, disgracing himself, disgracing the army, his family. Disgracing everyone to hell! Damn it, killing is not enough! Honestly, it would be better if they killed me.
And when I was sitting at the post, with a rifle and live ammunition, I thought "damn it, how fucking awesome! I have in my hands a whole solution to my life's question, I can damn it just load a cartridge into the magazine, put the barrel to my head and put a period to hell on all my affairs" but I didn't decide, why, damn it, who the hell knows
But admit, it would be great if there were fewer idiots in the world. (Suicide is not a solution, do not succumb to this, if you have any difficulties contact a specialist or call the helpline)
A chance to somehow rehabilitate appeared. I was transferred to another unit, where I was able to restore the right to carry a weapon, and was able to serve normally until the end. There were difficulties, but not so hard.
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Chapter Four: Return to My Pit
Well, I'm finally home... But there's a catch: I've lost my mind. Literally๐ due to constant stress and tension, without details, I just got PTSD and reacted to every clap and explosion as if I were on duty trying to find a radio and a rifle.
They gave me a month to rest... But it wasn't enough for me to recover after service. So with a broken brain, I went to work at a factory.
OH MY GOD how lucky I was to work in one workshop with my father and brother.๐ค It was fucking beautiful.
Naturally, my brother's opinion that I was a useless piece of shit remained, and I was good for nothing. But with half a heart, I passed the internship and started working.
Everything went wonderfully, I was finally earning money, there it is! Finally I'm not useless! I can be proud of something, I was useful for something! I worked for a year and I liked the job, I was stoned.
Then suddenly a coworker didn't like something about me. Because of which he just started spreading empty rumors that I was some shit worker. And the rumors were so strong that fucking everyone in the workshop knew. And EVEN WORSE! It reached my family.
And for about a month, that was the picture: I go to work, I get tired there, but I work normally, but I still get tired. I return home and they already start the tenth scandal about how I'm somehow shaming the family. DO YOU UNDERSTAND FUCK? SHAMING THE FAMILY, FATHER IS ASHAMED OF ME!
In the end, I couldn't take it again, I fucked off everyone, packed my backpack and walked on foot to another city just to walk around just to fuck off and get lost.
๐ And many found it funny, and what really was. Funny! Why are you whining, there is a war going on, why are you complaining about anything or are you the most important? ๐ฅบ And indeed, I was a fucking devil at least then I thought about it.
Of course, they called me later and talked me out of my rash decision. Finally heard!!!! Right? Yes yes๐ of course.
The same old song. I refused to get hired at the factory, I got hired at a store.
I felt like I was at the bottom... And then I decided to swallow a handful of pills... Which turned out to be non-lethal
As they joked, "now you won't be able to shit for a whole month".๐ค (Do people die from constipation?)
I got fired, because of conflicts at work. Here I don't remember if I was the cause of them or the colleagues.
I got hired at the factory and just couldn't handle the workshop due to my physical capabilities due to the heat I just fainted. And at one of the places the instructors didn't want to teach me the position and in a month I didn't learn all the thermal energy.
In the end, conflicts in the family again, returning home with nothing.
Useless
Worthless
Well, I'm finally home... But there's a catch: I've lost my mind. Literally
They gave me a month to rest... But it wasn't enough for me to recover after service. So with a broken brain, I went to work at a factory.
OH MY GOD how lucky I was to work in one workshop with my father and brother.
Naturally, my brother's opinion that I was a useless piece of shit remained, and I was good for nothing. But with half a heart, I passed the internship and started working.
Everything went wonderfully, I was finally earning money, there it is! Finally I'm not useless! I can be proud of something, I was useful for something! I worked for a year and I liked the job, I was stoned.
Then suddenly a coworker didn't like something about me. Because of which he just started spreading empty rumors that I was some shit worker. And the rumors were so strong that fucking everyone in the workshop knew. And EVEN WORSE! It reached my family.
And for about a month, that was the picture: I go to work, I get tired there, but I work normally, but I still get tired. I return home and they already start the tenth scandal about how I'm somehow shaming the family. DO YOU UNDERSTAND FUCK? SHAMING THE FAMILY, FATHER IS ASHAMED OF ME!
In the end, I couldn't take it again, I fucked off everyone, packed my backpack and walked on foot to another city just to walk around just to fuck off and get lost.
Of course, they called me later and talked me out of my rash decision. Finally heard!!!! Right? Yes yes
The same old song. I refused to get hired at the factory, I got hired at a store.
I felt like I was at the bottom... And then I decided to swallow a handful of pills... Which turned out to be non-lethal
As they joked, "now you won't be able to shit for a whole month".
I got fired, because of conflicts at work. Here I don't remember if I was the cause of them or the colleagues.
I got hired at the factory and just couldn't handle the workshop due to my physical capabilities due to the heat I just fainted. And at one of the places the instructors didn't want to teach me the position and in a month I didn't learn all the thermal energy.
In the end, conflicts in the family again, returning home with nothing.
Useless
Worthless
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Chapter Five: The Big City
Again... With 26 thousand in my pocket, I decided to leave home. Because I simply didn't want to live there. And I really felt like an obstacle.
I moved to a friend in St. Petersburg. I got a job in a small shop... And guess what... Yeah, again, I couldn't handle the workload, because I had to serve literally 100 customers a day, doing ten tasks at once while replacing five people at once, I simply couldn't manage it. I quit... Went to a bread factory.
There I started working and it seemed to be going well.
Parallel to this, the friend I came to had his own conflicts in his family. His drunk stepfather almost tried to kill him, but I drove him off.
The result was that I had to move to a rented apartment.
Taking my friend under my wing. And I ended up in financial shit.
My friend wasn't in a rush to find a job, renew his passport, screw that. There's a feeder who is barely holding on so as not to jump off the balcony of the 12th floor.
Of course, through conversations, I managed to convince him to find a job.
And what about the bread factory? Lol forget it, same song. Heavy pace, starving due to lack of food and colleagues cursing me. I quit ๐น
Then a warehouse where they simply screwed us with the salary. And again the bottom, because we were evicted from the rented apartment because one guy considered himself very important and hated us, especially my companion.๐ฅ Fuck it.
And guess what, again nothing. Again I went home under the persuasion of my family.
A couple more conflicts, again an attempt to run away from my own problems. And again a return home.
Only at home they didn't wait for me joyfully, they just cursed me for the suicide attempt. Don't forget to note what useless shit I do, namely drawing and writing books, I am engaged in.
Again a useless nothing.
Again... With 26 thousand in my pocket, I decided to leave home. Because I simply didn't want to live there. And I really felt like an obstacle.
I moved to a friend in St. Petersburg. I got a job in a small shop... And guess what... Yeah, again, I couldn't handle the workload, because I had to serve literally 100 customers a day, doing ten tasks at once while replacing five people at once, I simply couldn't manage it. I quit... Went to a bread factory.
There I started working and it seemed to be going well.
Parallel to this, the friend I came to had his own conflicts in his family. His drunk stepfather almost tried to kill him, but I drove him off.
The result was that I had to move to a rented apartment.
Taking my friend under my wing. And I ended up in financial shit.
My friend wasn't in a rush to find a job, renew his passport, screw that. There's a feeder who is barely holding on so as not to jump off the balcony of the 12th floor.
Of course, through conversations, I managed to convince him to find a job.
And what about the bread factory? Lol forget it, same song. Heavy pace, starving due to lack of food and colleagues cursing me. I quit ๐น
Then a warehouse where they simply screwed us with the salary. And again the bottom, because we were evicted from the rented apartment because one guy considered himself very important and hated us, especially my companion.
And guess what, again nothing. Again I went home under the persuasion of my family.
A couple more conflicts, again an attempt to run away from my own problems. And again a return home.
Only at home they didn't wait for me joyfully, they just cursed me for the suicide attempt. Don't forget to note what useless shit I do, namely drawing and writing books, I am engaged in.
Again a useless nothing.
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