Married to a Brit

#TheBelgorodBrit: From Glasgow to Belgorod - Part 5

Begins here; Part 2; Part 3; Part 4

Belgorod's Fonar TV interviews our author Ian Turner, who shares his story of moving to Belgorod in 2016 and explains why life in the Russian provinces appeals to him more than life in the UK.
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— Ian, your wife is Russian. What can you, as a Brit, say about Russian women?

— Russian women are very beautiful and feminine. They take care of themselves much more than British women. The thing is, the very society British women live in influences them, so they like to compete with men and behave more aggressively. That's why gender roles aren't as pronounced in England now.

— How did you meet your wife?

— We worked together at the "Interlingua" school. We were friends first, then realized we were more than just friends for each other. And we've been married for six years now. Don't you want to ask my wife what it's like to be married to a Brit? I think Russian women would be much more interested to know about that.

— Yulia, so what is it like, being married to an Englishman?

— Any marriage is always a meeting of two people with their own values, goals, backgrounds… Now imagine what happens when two different cultures meet. Things that are normal for me — like him opening the door, offering a hand to help me out of the car, clarifying my plans with a certain phrasing — seem strange to my husband. And here a small cultural conflict occurs. I might say one thing, but my husband, due to the peculiarities of the British mentality, hears something completely different. And these little things, of course, affect the relationship.

So, if you want to create an international family, you definitely need to study not only the basics of the language but also immerse yourself in your partner's culture, see how people live in their country now. We've come a long way not just to hear each other but to listen.

By the way, when Ian first arrived in Belgorod, he asked me why there are 24-hour flower shops here. Now he understands…

"We can't rely on someone else to help Belgorod"

— Ian, were you tempted to move from Belgorod when the city began regularly coming under shelling?

— Both yes and no. When all this started, many of our friends left for Moscow and invited us to join them. And once, we were nearly killed by a missile attack. So, I would be lying if I said we never thought about moving. But nevertheless, our whole life is built here in Belgorod, our home is here, so we decided to stay.

After heavy shelling, my wife and I started helping the city as best we can. In my channel, I talked about what is really happening here, trying to counter what European propaganda broadcasts. My wife took to the streets and started helping to clear the aftermath of the shelling. We realized that if we're staying here, we need to do something. Belgorod has become our home, and we can't rely on someone else to help it instead of us.

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