Step 1. Scan the room. Step 2. Identify those in room wearing “double masks.” Step 3. Avoid said people.
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... there are conspiracy theories and then there are CONSPIRACY THEORIES. https://t.co/QX4sZdaRzM
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Last week’s voter fraud segment was child’s play. Stumbled onto something big. Cant say any more than that. Tomorrow 10AM ET

Really, really weird new voter fraud anomalies that I stumbled upon. Don’t let me become a part of the #ClintonBodyCount. 10AM ET.

Actually, an even BIGGER “WTF” voter fraud irregularity was just caught. Will need an extra half hour to verify. Hold onto your butte... 10AM ET. #LwC

We just caught an even BIGGER "WTF" voter irregularity. So we don't get BANNED, we're taking an extra half an hour to verify. Stay tuned, but more importantly, hold onto your butts!
https://t.co/Zle6En0c8k

Major apologies. Our studio was struck with a power outage last week due to a MAJOR storm. We're still trying to get everything fixed. We're delayed, but the show will go on. The Texas weather finally got us!

Our brand new Tricaster just got Epsteined by the Clintons as we were about to go live. We’ll be an additional 15 mins late. https://t.co/gyrNF1FGrn
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MINUTES AWAY

It's amazing a ragtag comedy show is held to a higher standard than the mainstream media.
https://t.co/zKwOe6Tq5v

WE’RE HAVING TWINS!!! Guess which one is the boy?

... now go and shame yourself for “misgendering.”
https://t.co/kzhdIfglbn

We don’t do “unpaid internships” at #LwC because I PERSONALLY have found that I get more consistent work from paid workers. Brand new, lowest level interns are hired at $20/hr. Used to be more because I was dumb. But I fully understand why they make sense for some businesses.

Andrew Breitbart has had more of a significant impact on our lives than most people even know. I miss him.
https://t.co/N982OLqg3s

“Womxn” and “Latinx” are not a thing. They will never be a thing. Stop trying to make them a thing.
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Elizabeth Warren’s “wealth tax” is political grandstanding. You can’t tax someone on their paper “net worth” without seriously harming businesses/employees. The wealthy will have to liquidate money to pay penalties rather than invest in hires or R&D.
https://twitter.com/scrowder/status/1366728458538266634?s=20

Next, he’ll have to remove his speech transcripts from public record!
https://t.co/NLMiKElcQV

There is nothing reasonable about banning books which include fuzzy blue, yellow, green and striped people as “racist”.
https://t.co/kYDNYLJeO5

Haha! So pointing out that you date a quantifiably ABNORMAL number of men compared to most women... is a sexist indictment of... other women?
https://twitter.com/taylorswift13/status/1366401657685245955?s=21

By the way, I sincerely hope you stop serial-dating exploitative men, open a Bible and discover what love truly is. You won’t find it in Hollywood.
https://twitter.com/taylorswift13/status/1366401657685245955?s=21

As mentioned on yesterday’s show, there is NO #LwC today. We have to cross some T’s and dot some I’s behind the scenes on more mass voter fraud. ;). Major announcements coming soon too. See you tomorrow! 10AM ET!