ive hiked up three mountains in three days

Back to using placidus system after a month of experimenting, too many astrologers were recommending whole sign and I fell for it for a moment, placidus is a better blend of how the sky and energies feel. It's more nuanced and detailed. That's important.

I'm also more used to it, there is no need to downgrade to simpler systems.

The last 4 months have been the lowest points of my life so far, complete loss of self, it's embarrassing. I should have refrained from trying to communicate with people because I didn't have the valor to make any sense or be understood, yet I still wanted to be part of the world so I forced myself. A huge mistake. Such a lonely moment now. I have to feel like I need to apologize for speaking, because I do honestly. Can't subject people to this mood, fix yourself before becoming part of the world.

It's my channel so sometimes I'll get personal if i want... Important to remember these moments are temporary

But really the loneliness of not understanding myself, not being able to articulate my unorganized thoughts [and honestly not even wanting to but trying to force it to have a connection] = people unable to understand me and start viewing me differently, rightfully so. starts to hurt really hard. Just too lonely.

Epic moment today