Some of you may think I prefer one party over the other. I do not. That’s why I’m running for president on my new platform of Total Politician Death, where I promise, if elected, to deploy a nuclear device in Washington DC. #TPD #KillYourSenator

I will also be erecting walls around New York, Minnesota, and Texas. California will be physically cut off from the rest of the US and sent out into the Pacific.

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Oh also I would hang people who steal packages off your porch

Yo Trey Knight, owner of Knights Armament, just had a fuckin britney spears schizo breakdown and got arrested lmao

If you put a blacklight in a telescope you can look at the sun to see the secret alien colonies, the blacklight is to cancel out the sunlight