Wake up, check the phone like it holds the secrets of the universe.
Have coffee and a cigarette—breakfast of champions.
Stare at underwater positions like a submarine captain lost at sea.
Order some questionable burger trash because nutrition is overrated, all while obsessively refreshing charts.
Take a nap to recharge your anxiety batteries.
Wake up, light another cigarette, check charts again, and unleash your wisdom on the internet through shitposts.
Finally, when your eyes feel like they're being fried by a GPU, surrender and sleep.
The glamorous life of a crypto degenerate.